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I need to talk this through


Alex612    

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I’m in freshman year of college and am a lesbian. Almost all of my friends know but my family doesnt. I moved out to dorms with one of my best friends who I’ve liked for a long time and we started dating officially a little over a month ago. Our relationship is super good and healthy so no problems there.
My therapist said I need to stop hiding and should come out to my alterna. The problem is my family is Mormon or LDS and I don’t know how to come out to them or what their reaction would be.  I just need some people to bounce around thoughts. 

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1 hour ago, Alex612 said:

I’m in freshman year of college and am a lesbian. Almost all of my friends know but my family doesnt. I moved out to dorms with one of my best friends who I’ve liked for a long time and we started dating officially a little over a month ago. Our relationship is super good and healthy so no problems there.
My therapist said I need to stop hiding and should come out to my alterna. The problem is my family is Mormon or LDS and I don’t know how to come out to them or what their reaction would be.  I just need some people to bounce around thoughts. 

have you dropped hints to your parents? Have they said anything about if you ever came out as apart of the LGBTQ that they would not support it? if your dating. then surely she knows how you feel? took a big step coming here, so well done. 

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31 minutes ago, Lilly-Rose said:

have you dropped hints to your parents? Have they said anything about if you ever came out as apart of the LGBTQ that they would not support it? if your dating. then surely she knows how you feel? took a big step coming here, so well done. 

So my friends know and obviously my girlfriend  but I’m high school my parents thought that we might be dating so I was “grounded” from her for abou 6 months Where I couldn’t see her alone. There always had to be a third friend. So seeing how They reacted like that when they suspected I liked her when we really were just friends rally makes me worry how they’ll react if I tell them we’re together. 

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Are your parents very religious? Would they hurt you if you came out? You said they grounded you but would they do any more if they learned you have a girlfriend?

I'm lesbian and I have a Mormon friend, she doesn't care that I'm LGBTQIA+ but your family might.

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13 hours ago, Alex612 said:

I’m in freshman year of college and am a lesbian. Almost all of my friends know but my family doesnt. I moved out to dorms with one of my best friends who I’ve liked for a long time and we started dating officially a little over a month ago. Our relationship is super good and healthy so no problems there.
My therapist said I need to stop hiding and should come out to my alterna. The problem is my family is Mormon or LDS and I don’t know how to come out to them or what their reaction would be.  I just need some people to bounce around thoughts. 

Hey Alex,

Welcome to our community. I'm glad to hear that your relationship is healthy and that your friends know too. I'm wondering, do you have an idea as to what their reaction might be? Similarly to Dewdrop's point, if there is a chance they say you cannot come back to the house/potentially hurt you, then it would be best to wait until you can make sure you are safe from them. What do you think? 

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16 hours ago, Dewdrop said:

Are your parents very religious? Would they hurt you if you came out? You said they grounded you but would they do any more if they learned you have a girlfriend?

I'm lesbian and I have a Mormon friend, she doesn't care that I'm LGBTQIA+ but your family might.

They’re pretty religious. They would never hurt me like physically if that’s what you mean. But there’s a chance I’d get cut off financially if they found out I’m dating and living with my girlfriend. 
I have older sisters who they don’t agree with the way they live their lives so they don’t help financially but they are still loving towards them. But idk it just seems different to be living with a boyfriend and partying it up and having a girlfriend, at least in their eyes it might. 

6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Alex,

Welcome to our community. I'm glad to hear that your relationship is healthy and that your friends know too. I'm wondering, do you have an idea as to what their reaction might be? Similarly to Dewdrop's point, if there is a chance they say you cannot come back to the house/potentially hurt you, then it would be best to wait until you can make sure you are safe from them. What do you think? 

I’m moved out in college so we don’t live together. and if you look at the reply to dew drop it’s kind of the same answer :)

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Hey there,

Thanks for telling telling me more about your situation. I'm wondering, how would it feel for you to be cut off from them financially? Would you still be able to cope? 

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They’re helping me pay for college and I work part time for the rest. So I would have to find another job or work more hours. I think I could manage but it would make school very difficult. 

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Hey there,

Yeah, it's really sensible to consider how your life may change by telling them. Knowing that it could make school tricky, have you had any thoughts on what your next step might be? 

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23 hours ago, Alex612 said:

I honestly don’t know right now 😅

Hey,

That's okay. I think it's really helpful to just take sometime to process how you're feeling about your current situation, and there really is no rush to make a decision. You can go at your own pace with this. What do you think?

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