Ella T Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 Hi I am gay and know my parents will be supportive. Although not certain about my dad. I do not know how to come out. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted October 26, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 26, 2022 6 hours ago, Ella T said: Hi I am gay and know my parents will be supportive. Although not certain about my dad. I do not know how to come out. Hi Ella, I've just welcomed you to the community on your other post. It's great to have you here. I'm Aurora and I'm one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us. Ditch the Label has a really supportive and welcoming community and you might have noticed that there are lots of others here who are going through a similar experience to you. Firstly I would like to reassure you that it's very normal not to know, how to come out, even if you think that your parents will be supportive. From what you're saying it sounds like you know that your mum will be supportive but you're a bit unsure about your dad. Do you mind sharing, why you're not certain about your dad? Also, can I ask if have you come out to anyone else yet? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 I have not come out to anyone. Also, I think my dad will be supportive because he seems fine with stuff about sexuality but I have heard him say that he just doesn't get it and that makes me nervous. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted October 31, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 31, 2022 On 10/26/2022 at 11:50 PM, Ella T said: I have not come out to anyone. Also, I think my dad will be supportive because he seems fine with stuff about sexuality but I have heard him say that he just doesn't get it and that makes me nervous. Hi Ella, I'm sorry it's taken me this long to get back to you. I've been away. It's really normal to feel scared to come out, especially if you haven't told anyone yet. And I wanted to use this opportunity to say congratulations on coming out to us !! We feel really honoured that you've shared this with us and we hope that you can be your true self here I think it's often good to trust your gut and if you think your Dad will be supportive then chances are very high that he will be. Also, I have found that a parent's love for their child can influence their views as parents ultimately want their children to be happy. Even if our parents initial reaction might not be what we were hoping for, this can often change. Once they have had time to process what we have told them, they will often begin to understand us and be supportive of our sexuality. What do you think? If you haven't seen this yet, you might find this support article on how to come out to your parents useful https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-tips-coming-out-to-parents/ Would you like to read through it and let me know your thoughts? And we can think about how you could tell your parents together, if you like. How does that sound? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 1, 2022 Author Share Posted November 1, 2022 I would like help figuring out how to come out. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted November 1, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted November 1, 2022 11 hours ago, Ella T said: I would like help figuring out how to come out. Sure, no problem. Have you thought about who you would like to come out to first? Is it your parents or is there someone else, who you trust, who you can talk to easily and who you think will be supportive? Taking that first step can feel very scary but often everything will seem much easier, once you've opened up to the first person. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 1, 2022 Author Share Posted November 1, 2022 My mom MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted November 2, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted November 2, 2022 17 hours ago, Ella T said: My mom Ok, great. Have you thought about whether you want to have a conversation with your mom or if you want to find a different way to tell her? If you don't feel comfortable talking to her. you could write her a letter/note or even do a voice message. Sometimes it can be easier to write things down. What do you think would work best for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 5, 2022 Author Share Posted November 5, 2022 I have really bad social anxiety so maybe something else. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 6, 2022 Author Share Posted November 6, 2022 By something else I mean something other than a direct conversation. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted November 7, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted November 7, 2022 18 hours ago, Ella T said: By something else I mean something other than a direct conversation. Hi there, sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I've not been online for a few days. I just wanted to reassure you that this is your journey and it's really important that you feel comfortable whith how you come out to your mom. How do you feel about some of the things I suggested? Do you think you would like to write her a note/letter or maybe even leave her a voice message? Or maybe you can think of a different way of how you could let her know? What do you think would work for you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 16, 2022 Author Share Posted November 16, 2022 I would be fine with writing her a letter. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted November 16, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted November 16, 2022 7 hours ago, Ella T said: I would be fine with writing her a letter. That sounds good. Have you thought about what you might want to write in the letter? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ella T Posted November 17, 2022 Author Share Posted November 17, 2022 I'm not really sure MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted November 18, 2022 Digital Mentor Share Posted November 18, 2022 On 11/17/2022 at 12:55 AM, Ella T said: I'm not really sure I can understand that - it can be tough to come up with the right words. What would you suggest to a friend, who asked you what they could write in a letter to their mum? Sometimes it can be easier to think about it from someone else's perspective. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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