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  2. I'll start! I'm currently reading The Wim Hof Method (Super interesting if you're into health/wellness BTW)
  3. No take backs >:) 2 badges for you! Nice shrimp avatar! 2 badges for you! How about a badge AND a £15/$20 gift card for the Ditch the Label store?
  4. Today
  5. @Ghostie has gone AWOL but will be back real soon..
  6. I'm doing well thank you! Yes I think it will be the best for me to wait for the right time come, I also need times to mentally prepared myself before tell them the truth. Thank you so much for listening to me and giving me advise. It was really helpful for me! So glad that I found this community ♡
  7. Hello again, As in an update we have decided to stay casual with each other due to our ongoing busy schedules. We knew that the timing wasn't right and that it is the best option is to stay as close friends that like spending time with each other especially when one is feeling down and upset. I'll see how this goes but for now it is okay with me with being casual with him.
  8. Yesterday
  9. I think that if I embarrass myself, people will think I’m weird and won’t talk to me. I don’t want to make a bad impression.
  10. Hey @Monsoon, thank you so much for your reply! I couldn't reply because of events! I feel..I don"t really know....I think that I'm just going though a phase and I feel happy that I know who I am yet I actually don't. Also, I'm fine..for now. Some things has changed. The man who abused me and my sister was my father...after he got kicked out he deiced to live in an extra room in my other's bakery. He treats me like his favorite and he buys me things like nothing happened, I hate him but...when my mother and that man argues...somewhat I feel bad. My mom can be hurtful (mentally) at times but she understands that it's not ok to do that. But you know how Asian moms are. She's angry at me during those times are because of me. I don't do my homework because..well I don't know why..and other times are when I yell from being triggered my my older sister or my mom. School is not doing good for me..I have a D in math and a few B's. What should I do now? Both with school, family, and well, me. I also get suicidal thoughts and cut myself during really hard times...no one takes me seriously because I'm a bit younger than a "tween".
  11. Things like losing all my friends and being kicked out
  12. Laylaaa

    hello

    that is great to hear hope you have a great evending
  13. Daisie

    hello

    Hey Laylaaa, how are you? I am doing really good thank you! Hope you have a lovely evening!
  14. Laylaaa

    hello

    hello just checking on eveyone seeing how there doing?
  15. Hi, I’m new to this community, but video games are something I can talk about. I realize this thread is a bit old, but I have some recommendations. I don’t own a PlayStation, but I do own a PC, so my suggestions will be for PC. First, Minecraft (you’ve probably heard of it/possibly played it) is a fantastic chill game. It has peaceful and creative modes (no enemies/conflict) and a limitless amount of fun things to do, especially if you like to get creative! Second, I want to recommend a small adventure game called Journey. No game has made me as emotional as Journey, it’s a really touching experience but I don’t want to spoil it. Third, I’m a huge strategy game fan. If you want something less real-time, Civilization is a fantastic series. The premise is that you play as a famous historical leader, guiding your people through history to achieve victory (which can be done in many ways). It’s a turn based game with many hours of fun to be had! It may be turn based, but it’s very addictive and it can be hard for me to stop playing. Still a great game! However, I should note that you can wage war in this game. The violence is far from graphic but I feel as though it is important to mention. Furthermore it can be a little daunting at first, but different difficulty settings help counteract that. Another popular peaceful game is stardew valley. It wasn’t my cup of tea but it’s a game about farming. It’s beloved by many who enjoy peaceful video games. You might enjoy it!
  16. Atahualpa

    Hello!

    Hello, I’ve just created this account in the hopes of addressing some recent introspection I’ve had about my identity. Upon viewing some posts on this board, I have to say the supportive environment here is truly incredible. (Note: this post ended up being very long, and I can’t say I’m certain it’s being sent to the right place. Apologies for both of these things) For a very long time until about two weeks ago I was confident that I was heterosexual. However, recent events in my life involving emotional challenges and pressures created by my transition to university amid such strange present circumstances, I began to reflect on my identity. I have found that my experience in sexuality is perhaps not what I thought it was. It’s occurred to me that although I have found people attractive, I have no desire to enter an intimate relationship with these people. I have felt romantic attraction to at least one person. However, sexual attraction is not something I think I feel. However, I’m unsure, and I doubt myself about this assertion every day. I fear that my mind may be trying to find a backdoor to avoid the sexual pressures of our society. Then again, the only times I have thought about finding a girlfriend have been in the context that it’s “what I should do.” When I’m watching something and a sex scene appears, I skip it. I find the concept of an exclusively sexual relationship unfathomable, and I place importance on romantic actions. However, the concept of two people (of any orientation) in a committed, sexual-romantic relationship is a great feeling in my imagination, even though I’m not sure I want that myself. After doing some self-guided research, I found that I may be gray-asexual. There are so many micro-labels that I found, it felt like I was looking into a vast library of vaguely relatable ideas. What sticks to me, though, is that I still find women attractive, despite my lack of a desire for intimate contact. That part has me deeply conflicted. Am I asexual, or just afraid? Am I appropriating the label to relieve one of the many pressures I face? I almost feel like I’m lying when I write this, even though these are my experiences. Hopefully this new account will help me sort out these questions, and perhaps talk to people in similar circumstances. Everyone on this board is a beautiful soul, and I hope you’re all well today.
  17. I’m feeling better but still very hurt. My mom said I should have gotten her alone and told her in a serious way, but that doesn’t feel comfortable for me. Thanks for responding.
  18. but why do you think that? and even if I don't know you, you are wrong, I can tell you, that you are good enough as you are
  19. I believe that I have been gaslighted, verbally abused, and subjected to emotional duress. I will tell the full story here and you be the judge. In early 2019, I had told my mother my wishes for leaving university because I felt that it wouldn’t help me achieve my career goal of becoming an entrepreneur. Initially, she said that she would support me no matter what, but when I told her what my career goal was (build a business through blogging and then investing in rental property real estate), she condescended to me. As a result, I felt uncomfortable talking to her about this further. She said that blogging was a viable career path, but later turned around and said that it wasn’t. I felt she contradicted herself here. She’d make me have multiple “meetings” with her from time to time (I have 2 of these meetings recorded), only to be critiqued and condescended for pursuing my career path. This gave me a feeling of walking on eggshells when speaking with her. For at least one time, she yelled at me to complete things and called me names like “helper” and “chauffeur” when she was on the phone with my aunt. Of course, I felt condescended and, frankly, picked on (even though she apologized for the name-calling). On October 7th, 2021, I had walked away from her to charge up my electric toothbrush after she yelled at me and said “You’re doing it wrong” when I was trying to zip up her dress. She then asked why I walked away from her every time she tries to talk to me. I answered with “Because she doesn’t support my career goals.” She immediately summoned me to meet with her in the living room, where she asked me to tell her what I wanted, which was to build a business and invest the money I earn in real estate (I had been building the business for over 3 years with minimal results; of course I understand the objection to doing it since entrepreneurship involves a lot of uncertainty and a lot of failures). Afterward, she asked me how I would describe her. After thinking about an appropriate word for a few seconds, I came up with repulsive based on how she treated me in the past. Granted, I wasn’t trying to critique her, I was simply answering her question from a neutral vantage point, even though it seemed to come across as a critique. She then went on a rant on how I was being “disrespectful,” how I was verbally abusing her and that she wouldn’t put up with my s***. Immediately, I was shocked that she said these things because I never intend to treat people like that. Additionally, when I heard these comments, those were the exact words that I was thinking of when reflecting on how she treated me with my career situation (except the word s***). Right then and there, I suspected that she might be gaslighting to gain manipulative control of the situation by paying for my living expenses. After she concluded the meeting, she yelled at me to find her phone. For the record, I never yelled nor cursed at her at all. The next day, she summoned me to the living room to tell me that she was requiring me to pay living expenses and that I had to pay for my food since I am an adult. Granted, I am an adult and technically she has the legal right to impose living expenses as a result of living in her house (even though she technically doesn’t own the house; she’s head of household), but the fact that she is making me do it at a time when I was cooperating in doing what I needed to do to obtain full-time employment (it’s the better economic outcome for me at the moment) and working over 70 hours per week to do so raised eyebrows in my mind as to her intentions. She also said that I wasn’t appreciative of her and hence, why she is making me pay for living expenses. The truth is that I am appreciative of her for paying for living expenses while I was in college and cooking my meals (I reflected on this before the incident and felt very fortunate for this). I am not appreciative of the fact that she condescended and criticized me about my career goals, even though I was only making an active effort to resolve the situation cooperatively. On either that evening or the next, I was writing a summary of what happened to report to an abuse hotline to seek help. When I went out for my walk, my mother went into my office and discovered the summary, even though in the past, she said that she would never snoop around through my stuff. She then summoned me to another meeting where she made me rip up the summary I had written. She then said I wasn’t allowed to ask for help in this situation and that she can snoop through my stuff since it’s her house. Also, she said that the whole family was in “shock” at my behavior. After doing some research, I suspected gaslighting since a statement like that is intended to get me to question my reality. She then said that if I called for help, my life would change forever and that she would do what she needed to do to protect herself and that she was tired of walking on eggshells with me. The next day, I had drafted 2 emails so that I can get help with this situation. She asked if I had drafted emails to anyone asking for help. Since I don’t intend to lie, I said yes and she made me delete them. Right away, I thought that I might’ve been subjected to emotional duress. After talking to a 3rd party regarding the situation, he said that neither I nor my mother was right or wrong and that there was a miscommunication and a misunderstanding. As far as the misunderstanding is concerned, I agreed since many families tend to misunderstand the career ambitions of prospective entrepreneurs, which leads to a values difference and hence, conflict. I never intend to create conflict I was only seeking cooperative support to resolve a major issue in finding and obtaining the right resources to help me achieve my goal of being an entrepreneur. Of course, for any mistakes I make, I take full responsibility for those mistakes and shift the blame on no one. As a result of feeling pressure to apologize often and getting a feeling of being ashamed of the situation, I suspect that I have been subjected to gaslighting, verbal abuse, and, quite possibly, emotional duress. Any outside input on the situation is greatly appreciated and I would genuinely appreciate it if you can tell me what I should do next (aside from getting a job; got that message). Thank you.
  20. Hey @notkelly Welcome and thank you for opening up to us here. How are you feeling now? I noticed that some time has passed since you made this comment. I'm sorry to hear that you're upset at the moment, but I can totally understand your reaction. From what you've said, I think that you handled coming out really well, and I'm curious to know, did your mother say how you should have gone about it?
  21. Monsoon is the best mentor they support and dont judge I am so glad your working here! you make our community so much better and you are so thoughtful with the support and advice you give us best support person I have ever had
  22. Hey @winter_lane3 Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to our members for lots of different issues including sexual and gender identity, relationships, bullying, self-esteem, mental health, and much more. How is everything going for you at the moment?
  23. To be honest, it felt pretty good! It was kinda hard and I almost said yes, but then I thought about it some more and then realized that, like what you said, i probably deserve better. its going pretty good, and i think he accepted the answer no. thank you so much for helping me, you really helped me get through this
  24. Hello Harry, Thank you for telling me more about what's going on for you. Also, I agree, the biggest priority now is to reduce how much you're self-harming, and even stop if you feel like that is possible right now. The important thing about self-harming is that it is a way of coping for many people, and it's essential to recognise and find other ways of coping to move away from it successfully. I'm wondering, can you tell me about a time where you've successfully coped with a mental health difficulty without hurting yourself? Also, have you seen our support guide on safe alternatives to self-harm? Maybe you can have a read and try a couple of strategies for the next few times you want to injure yourself: 15 Safer Alternatives to Self Harm - Ditch the Label Speak soon and take care.
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