Hey @Ada I'm so sorry you're feeling so low and honestly, I get it. If we took at face value all the IG posts you would think that not one person has any sort of a 'flaw'. In reality those pictures are a quick snapshot in someone's life that was maybe 15 minutes max. The reality is the vast majority of people are completely normal (whatever that is) and living regular lives, even influencers and celebrities - that photoshoot or video they shared that looks perfect is far from perfect.
Thankfully a lot more people are now speaking out with honesty about their personal struggles, whether this is with body image, mental health, low self-esteem or anything else.
One thing that really can help is look at who you are following - unfollow the accounts that negatively impact how you feel as even though they may be intended to be inspirational, they can be anything but. Start following people that are outspoken or honest about body image, mental health or anything else that you really care about. Those accounts are far more likely to show the reality of their lives and to be honest about if they aren't feeing great or are struggling - things we can all relate to at some point. There are some really great suggestions here to start you off:
One thing that struck a chord with me was you mentioning that if you could only make all these changes you would be happier in some way... I spent years feeling like this and it's simply just not true. We have to work on ourselves all the time and looking 'prettier/thinner' at any point in my life, in my experience, was a fleeting feeling of being happy - ultimately there were still underlying issues of low self-esteem that needed to be dealt with.
I can tell you with all sincerity that I know and have known so many people who on the surface look like they 'have it all together' but still deal with all the same issues of low self-esteem and not thinking that they are good enough, pretty enough etc.
Sending you positive vibes.