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Hey, i've been really wanted to cut my hair for the longest time to a sort of "boyish" haircut and my mom won't allow me. I've cut my hair to a sort of similar length before and my mom hated it. She would look at me with disgust and when we were walking home from the salon she started saying stuff like "you look like a boy, your a girl not a boy" and other stuff like that but i cant remember all that well because it's been a while. But that experience made me cry a lot, and of course my mom said she was sorry and started saying how beautiful i am to make me feel better. Which is so annoying because i know she doesn't think that way. A little while after i got that haircut she didn't care about it, but made the occasional negative comment on it. So maybe if i get this haircut she'll hate it at first, and then get used to it?? i hope so at least . But yeah she wants me to grow out my hair and whenever i bring it up to her or argue about it to her she settles on letting my cut it after my graduation from school. It's a step towards the right direction but now i talk about cutting my hair sometimes and she just flat out says no. Maybe she said she would let me cut my hair later to shut me up... can someone help me figure out how to get my hair cut with my moms permission? i honestly don't care if my mom hates it i just want to cut it so bad because it would give me so much gender euphoria and it would make me love myself a lot more. btw my mom is homophobic and transphobic (obviously) This is the haircut i want, i made sure to have a picture of a fem person so my mom could recognize that girls can still look girlish with this haircut. I didnt send this picture to my mom yet so maybe i should?
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Hi I am gay and know my parents will be supportive. Although not certain about my dad. I do not know how to come out.
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// Sexuality & Gender //
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When I first started questioning my sexuality, I was 13, and felt very alone. I was too scared to tell anyone, not necessarily because I would face homophobia, but more because I was so worried that it was just a phase. I worried that I was only questioning because I had lots of gay friends, I was worried that I didn't have enough "evidence" to qualify for any label other than straight, and I was worried that people wouldn't believe me, and would think I was just attention seeking. And for a long time, I thought this was just me.That was until I found the Ditch the Label forum. After reading some of the chat forums and seeing how similar my thoughts were to others in similar situations, I realised that my crisis wasn't unusual, but rather something that a lot of young people go through. What I've learnt is that you don't need hard evidence to be a valid part of the LGBTQ+ community. You don't need to prove your feelings or attraction to anyone. On my way to accepting myself, I had to realise that both possible outcomes were okay; it would be okay if it WAS just a phase, and I turned out straight, and it would also be 100% okay if it wasn't a phase, and I really was bisexual. I eventually came to the realisation that I am bisexual (I realised that straight girls probably don't lie awake at night thinking about kissing other girls lol). Something that made me doubt my sexuality for such a long time was the fact that I couldn't really remember ever having been attracted to girls when I was younger. In a lot of stories I've heard of people realising their same sex attraction, people look back and realise that a friend that they were really close to as a kid...they maybe liked more than just a friend. But I didn't have any of that. This bothered me a lot until I realised that bisexuality can be as simple as realising your potential to be in a relationship with multiple genders. For me, I grew up in a very catholic family/school and didn't even know what the word lesbian was until I moved up to secondary school. I didn't know of any same sex relationships in my widespread family or in the media, I was not exposed to any representation at all. The option of being with a girl wasn't even open to me; I was taught that girls could only have platonic relationships with each other. So, moving to an all girls secondary school, and having lots of gay friends opened this option up to me, and I realised that I had the potential inside of me to be with any gender. I didn't have a moment when I was suddenly attracted to women, I just realised that I knew I had that potential (which stressed me out so much because I thought it didn't count).Everyone's experience is different and sexuality is FLUID. Maybe, like me, for you it was something that came when you were older. Maybe you can look back in your childhood and see examples of when you were attracted to the same gender that you didn't realise at a time. Both are valid! And you don't need to label your sexuality either, if you don't want to. That's okay too! It's all okay. You are valid :) <3
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I have been questioning myself for a long time already, but I have always tried to ignore because I thought I might not really be into others. But I don't underatand my feelings anymore and I question myself whether I like girls also or not. I know I am into boys, but I don't know how I feel about girls, I am not discomoforted nor bothered by the idea of kissing or going out with a girl. I mean, I might kinda like it? But I'm not sure whether how I feel is true or not.
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So, I may have developed feelings for one of my close girl friends and I have no idea what to do. I mean I do want to tell her but I have this fear of rejection so bad, it’s holding me back. And when I think about telling her, we’re always hanging out . I don’t wanna say it in person even though that’s much more better, but I feel like I’d physically throw up everywhere lol and if she did reject me in person, yknow how awkward that would be trying to brush that over. Annnnd I’m scared if I do confess, she’ll look at me weird and slowly try to break off the friendship. I don’t want anything to be uncomfortable or make it seem like I’m a creep.. cuz I did like her once before. Almost 2 years ago. But she did reject me then because some personal stuff she had and she said she didn’t wanna hurt me. There was this one time where she did confess up to me saying she wanted to kiss me once lol but never did cuz she thought that I’d be weirded out. When actually, at that time I liked her . But now idk, I don’t even think she’d be open to the idea… cuz after that little incident I asked her if she did like me and she said “i don’t think I ever would, you’re like my sister” so… haha.. yeah. I also forgot to mention we’re both lgbtq so . But yes this is my depressing ass story .
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I came out to my religious, homophobic mother and she told me that being bisexual was a challenge that I had to pray about and that I should deny my true self and live like I’m straight. It really upset me because I want to date girls and boys, and my mom doesn’t look at me the same. I just want her to be accepting and see that I’m still me. I just want to be her daughter, not her screwed up bisexual daughter.
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Hi, so i've been feeling really sad lately because of all the homophobic stuff my mom and sister are saying. I keep thinking about what's going to happen when i come out, what if i get cut off completely... i keep thinking about the scenario that might happen and i wish i was just straight so that i wouldn't have to deal with this. I was really sure that my sister was an ally but she sometimes says stuff that comes off as homophobic and i'm not sure if she is. I really wanted to tell her about my sexuality and come out to her but i'm not so sure anymore. Everytime i see a person apart of the community have loving and supporting parents i can't help but feel jealous because i wish i could have that so i wouldn't be thrown away from my family when i come out. I really hate myself for liking girls why couldn't i just be normal... i've also been wanting to cut my hair for the longest time because it would give me so much gender euphoria but my mom is so against it and it's so annoying because every time i look in the mirror i just can't help but hate how i look i wish i had shorter hair... i wish i looked more like a boy. If only i was born a boy i wouldn't be dealing with this... me liking girls wouldn't have been such a big deal, i wish i was a guy so i would be accepted... but even if i was born a guy i would still like skirts and stuff and all the feminine things i like now. and just thinking how no matter what i won't be accepted for being who i am and it's so godamn frustrating because i just want to be myself and for everyone to accept me and love me no matter what. My mom loves me so much right now and she tells me that everyday but whenever she says that i just think of how she won't love me when i tell her what i truly am... would she accept me because she loves me ?? or would she be disgusted ??? I've been dropping hints that i'm not into guys and i'm not sure if my family is catching on... i wont tell them until i've moved out. I've thought of the idea of moving out with my future lover and then tell them but i don't know. I just want to keep it hidden from them forever. I really hope in the future i can just forget about this and live a happy life with my future lover but i know that's not all that possible with the world we live in. I'm sorry this was kind of a long rant but i needed to get it out because i really felt like crying and giving up on everything today... i searched up what to do with homophobic parents and stumbled upon this website, i'm really glad i found it and i will probably be ranting a lot more here- 14 replies
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June is officially Pride Month! To celebrate Pride and all things love, we've got a limited edition 'Choose Love' badge. To claim yours, simply comment below by the end of June and you'll automatically receive the badge in your inventory. Happy pride from everybody here at Ditch the Label! #NoLGBTWithoutTheT
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Hi, I don't exactly know how forums work, but I saw this while I was reading an article about bisexuality. I guess I just clicked on it in hopes of someone hearing me out. I was around 15 years old when I had suspicions about myself being bisexual. But I just recently accepted my identity. Now, I'm kind of realizing that growing up, I did like girls. I just wasn't entertaining the thought because, well, I thought it wasn't normal. Even now, I feel kind of embarrassed just thinking and writing about it. I know to myself that I want to come out. God, I know that would feel so good, but it's so hard to do. There were times when I wanted to tell someone so bad, anyone that I trust. And I feel so unmovable at those moments, like it's really gonna happen. I'm actually gonna tell someone. But as soon as I start the conversation about what they think towards the LGBT community, tiptoeing around the topic, I feel my confidence constantly shrink. People I trust would suddenly say something that would make me back out at the last minute. And I know they would accept me if I come out, but the tone they use while talking to me about bisexuality, or being gay, or any other gender, reeks so much of condescension. I feel like everything would change if I said something. Is it bad that I don't want to "say something" to them? I just want to leave hints in hopes of them figuring it out by themselves. And when they do, I don't want them to address it. I just want our lives to continue the way it was without them thinking I'm a different person now. Hoping someone would read this, I really feel like I need a safe space and someone to talk to about my sexuality. It's hard figuring everything out by myself.
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Hello! Im pretty old member of LGBT+ community (since i was 10) and I’ve only just started wondering if i might be aromantic. I just want to maybe get some stories how someone who identifies as aromantic figured it out for themselves. For me, a sign that maybe im aromantic, is that im not really good with emotions in relationships. Thinking back, after awhile i started treating my partners more as best friends than someone im supposed to be romantic with. I could see them being annoyed by that but i didn’t know how to change that. I still don’t. I want to feel romantic feelings but the closest I’ve came to of that type is what i create in my head. I love the person i create in my mind even if i know they’re not like that in real life. I love some traits of the person who im maybe seeing in somewhat flirty way but the other traits just ruin it for me. I’m pretty flirty with a lot of friends but when they express any type of serious romantic attraction i get scared. I don’t know where it comes from. If there’s any aromantic people here, could i get some kind of a little `how did you find out you’re aromantic` -
7 Tips on Coming Out We know how difficult it is to come out, so we've partnered with some of our favourite influencers and LGBTQ+ icons to pull together 7 of their top tips on how to do it. Please know that you are never alone and our community is here to support and uplift you. Hope this helps!
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I’m in freshman year of college and am a lesbian. Almost all of my friends know but my family doesnt. I moved out to dorms with one of my best friends who I’ve liked for a long time and we started dating officially a little over a month ago. Our relationship is super good and healthy so no problems there. My therapist said I need to stop hiding and should come out to my alterna. The problem is my family is Mormon or LDS and I don’t know how to come out to them or what their reaction would be. I just need some people to bounce around thoughts.
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Hi, I have been questioning my sexuality and somehow I think I am bi. I told one of my closest friends about and I thought she loved me just the way I am. Boy was I wrong. She started to discuss on how I should date guys more and forget that l like girls. I felt really offended. She's saying I want to protect you from the ugly world. Yes I know this reality is messed up, but you should love me just the way I am. What should I do about her? Again my ex boyfriend says he wants to know if I am straight or lesbian. I don't know how to come out to him. I don't want to look like I want attention from him. I just want him to know who I really am. What should I do? I am already installing a mental breakdown into my brain. Please help me...
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I’ve never used this site before, so apologies if I’m doing this wrong lol. I’m really questioning my sexuality right now, and I have been seriously for a few months. I had wondered if I might be gay before, but only really because I hadn’t been able to connect with a male, and honestly just had found them kind of repulsive (no offence!). But I met this girl and I knew straight away that she was cool and I wanted to be friends with her. After seeing her a few times again it quickly turned into a fully obsessive crush. She’s amazing and I was so confused and scared at first, but now after doing a lot of thinking, I’m almost sure I’m not straight, and I don’t dislike the idea. But I still have a lot of problems to consider, like the fact she most likely doesn’t see me that way.
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I have n idea how to come out to my homophobic grandparents who i live with. any tips?
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This campaign is now over! Thanks to everyone who posted in the Sexuality, Dating and Relationships forum for Pride 2021. Enjoy your badge! Happy Pride everybody! To celebrate Pride 2021 and the introduction of new user badges, we're launching a limited edition Pride 2021 badge that you can now proudly wear on your user profile. To claim your badge, simply reply to this thread before the end of the month and you'll automatically receive it. Enjoy!
