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What brings you to Ditch the Label?

  1. Hey everybody. I'm new here- I don't really know what I'm doing yet. Just a couple days after I made my account, I was given 6 warning points for a community guidelines violation. I can't figure out how to message a mod directly, so I'm posting here. I read through the guidelines and I still don't know what I did wrong. Could somebody help me out please? Thanks!
  2. Hello, and thank you if you decide to read all of this, and if you respond to me. Since March/April I was good friends with a boy, I slowly became very close with him, to the point where people thought we were dating when we weren't, but oh well. School was actually fun, I had been bullied a few times that same year by the same people, but I wasn't since I was friends with him. We would always talk, go to after school clubs together, sit next to eachother in lessons etc. We spent everyday with eachother, now looking back it makes me upset since I'll never have that memory with him ever again. Like most schools in the UK, we had 6-7 weeks off school for our summer holidays. Over that amount of time, we weren't as close anymore since we never really hung out after school, but we would text. We spoke about it eventually and said 'maybe at school we will be closer again, the more we talk and see eachother' So we agreed on that and texted like normal. That was whilst I was on holiday too, but once I got back, this happened I added him to a groupchat with other people from our school, he wasn't that bothered. But he gets annoyed easily and its kinda funny, keep in mind I have done this one time before with my friend, and hes always chill once we stop. So, me and my friend joke around with calling him gay and saying he goes by 'it/its' its only funny because hes fine after its over, but mean during it. As usual, he ends up leaving the groupchat, but he told one of MINE and HIS friends to leave too, not just that but also block me. And what happened that same day? We were texting and he said 'You have changed a lot' (He messaged me elsewhere since I blocked him after that) He said he meant the way I act, but I dont like it when people talk about my personality or my looks (and more). After a bit of texting about that, I said 'No, thats just mean' and he said 'Please' 'Yk what fuck it i dont wanna be your friend anymore, youre so mean to me' We carried on texting and he said 'You take it too far sometimes' Wanna know what he meant? Me calling him gay. He also kept apolagising right after he said that, and a day later (this happened twice) he kept asking to be my friend again, and apolagising. I never forgave him and I still won't, considering what has happened since we have started going back to school Please give me advice for now, and I will give an update on what happened last week, the week before and what WILL happen this week
  3. This summer (3-4 months ago) I had a girlfriend. I thought things were going well. It was my first relationship so I didn't really know what "normal" was. I quickly found out that being in the bathroom kissing someone who wouldn't tell me their name was NOT a relationship. Whenever I asked her what her name was or if we could go somewhere else outside of the bathroom she would say no or pull my hair (it quickly escalated). I was left feeling confused always thinking what did I do wrong, even though It wasn't me. When I found that out I didn't even break up I just ran. It's been four months later, and I Think I might have a thing for someone, let's call them olive. I think that they like me back,and i just started realizing it, I am pretty blind sometimes. For EX. recently they asked if I wanted to listen to music through earphones w/ them which they never really ask anyone else to do. I just don't know if it will be like the last time. if you have advice please give it to me! thx
  4. I don't really know where to start, I feel like there is so much worth mentioning and so many straws that broke the camel's back so to speak, but for a long time I knew I NEEDED to get away from my hometown. Now as a 21 year old male, I should be able to, but i feel stuck. Lets start with school... I did bad in in. To make sure you understand the school system in my particular area, classes where essentially divided into three groups. Basic, for the dumb dumbs like me, Academic, for the average student, and advanced, for the students with advanced intelligence. As I implied, I did bad and had to go into basic classes, pretty much baring me from having any chance at most university courses without having to take adult basic education or something after. This has always been something that caused a problem in me, I love science, but I'm probably too dumb to have any chance at doing anything with it, and is one of the big limiting factors that kept me here as long as I have been. So lets move onto reasons why I want to leave. 1 My parents. While far from the worst parents, they are also far from great, they are very controlling, always seeming to try and pick what i should do for me. For example, when i was looking for used machines, twice they pressured me into trying for new ones when i cant afford it, succeeding once.... They make fun of me for everything, even something serious, I've heard them telling their friends all about the time i was constipated as a kid and making a huge joke about it and so many other things... And in general they are assholes, they threatened to kick my brother out because he got mad at one of their friends for hitting a dog. They threatened to kick me out because I said "if there wasn't a literal housing crisis I'd be looking to stay elsewhere" So in general, I feel like I HAVE to do what THEY want because I still live with them and if they aren't happy with something I do, I could be kicked out... Small town life is bittersweet at BEST. Sure, I have easy access to the woods should I want to go on ATV or Snowmobile, but living in a town with a grand total of 300 people things can be rather limited. Not much fresh or cheap food, nothing to really do, and very few jobs (more about that later). And of course, people in small towns Suck, as a person that's the third letter in LGBTQ+, i don't feel like i can be myself. Work is few and far between. This is actually the most recent problem for me too. So after getting laid off from my previous job, I spent nearly a full year jobless, unable to find a new job. I was right about to run out of EI time when a position became available at a store that was just about to open. Of course, I jumped on the opportunity and eventually became the one and only produce person. I found the work quite enjoyable, but lately, my boss has been adding more and ore on to what she wants me to do and its just not possible for me to do it all. Hell, I often couldn't do everything I needed to before she started adding stuff for me to do. I do orders, prebooks, handle the produce delivery, bring everything upstairs, make all the trays, clean, do inventory, and more. Lately my boss has been adding things that she wants me to order, these things include things that belong in deli and when added to my order gets deleted because they aren't supposed to be included in my order, as such, I never get them. And she BLAMES ME for it. She has been trying to get me to bag up bulk items like hard bread, candy, etc. These items don't go in under produce sales, as such, i see no reason why I should have to handle them, not that I usually have time to anyways. And she says the stupidest things, if I was to accidentally or unexpectedly run out of something, for example if all the mushrooms went bad and i had to toss them all out, she would come to me and say "we ran out of mushrooms, you gotta triple the order" which i already did, its why I have so many they are going bad before I even can put them out just so I can say I'm doing what she told me to. If something was shorted an item, she tells me "we ran out, you gotta triple the order" no, we didn't run out, we have been shorted this item 4 weeks running, even if i ordered 100 I'd get 0. And she always blames me, lately she has been messing around with the prices, originally she was happy with anything over a 25% markup, lately shes bumped that up to 40%+. With rising prices in general, this has lead to almost exclusively the sale items selling, but thats besides the point, she removed some of the old tags, left some of the old tags, replaced some of the old tags and than proceeded to tell me off for about 5 minutes that I cant have wrong price tags or items with no price on it at all. As well as constantly reorganizing my produce shelves without me, resulting in me not having space for some things or not knowing where something is. Lately my bosses antics have causes me a lot of stress, I've been going into work with such a bad stomach from the stress that I had to stop and poke around to see if my appendix was exploding or something. I feel stomach sick as soon as I get to work. I get canker sores from stress and my mouth is full of them. I feel like I can't breath. I feel like I'm losing my mind! So, i snapped. I can't stay here anymore, it's not worth it... There is no work around here, Hardly even anything in my province to be honest. I feel like I need to get far away. I considered everything... I found a college course I liked, but being the end of July, it was full and I couldn't join... I can't find any jobs of interest within 100 KM or even in my province, yet I see lots of jobs in other near by provinces, and lots that I'd be really interested in. I feel like I'm trapped... Between needing to please my parents, Missing my chance at school three times, a lack of near by work, and of course lack of money, I feel stuck in an awful situation with no hope of getting out... I just don't know what to do anymore... I NEED to get away, but I feel thoroughly stuck.
  5. Hihi I am sorry if I hadn't posted in while school juct came back in session last week and I have been swamped... I also told me two girl friends that I was bi and they were fine with it they actually celebrated! (I was overthinking coming out) I have been wanting to tell my one guy friend (who I really trust) but i feel like it will be akward I wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to come out to a guy. I still haven't told my family that I'm bi so that's next on the list (after I tell my guy friend) Thanks!! @sflowergirl
  6. S-03

    Hi

    Hi my name is Sasha. Iโ€™m 18 years about to 19. Recently I have been harass on social media and being accused by 3 usernames and it really hurts and I am here to tell my story.
  7. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Suicide
  8. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other
  9. hey, i'm part of the prefects at my school, and some of my best friends are in charge of that. One of the projects we are working on is an lgbtqi+ assembly and day at our catholic school. Most of the team is straight and one of my friends is in charge of the whole team and delegating roles. there has been uproar at my school regarding the main girl who was delegated the task is homophobic and has used slurs, which she says where in context, and the openly queer community at my school is rightly upset. my friend see's no problem with replacing her with another straight girl. we got into a bit of an argument but i didnt want to sound too passionate as im closeted and im not ready to come out. she doesnt get how derogatory she is and she is being backed up by others. how do i bring this up without upsetting her, shes not good at seeing when she is wrong, and without letting her know its a personal issue? when i last brought it up trying to show her why the queer community at school is upset she told me they were being prejudiced to straight people, and everyone backed her up. i feel like im in a losing battle.
  10. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating, Self-Harm
  11. Hello, first of all thank you for reading this, I appreciate that. So I have a good friend like 3 years now and it's maybe our last year together before high school, but all the time that we are friends I feel bad and sad, for example: when I came to school with short pants he told me that I'm an idiot and it's cold outside... I also wanted to make a YouTube channel but he said that I will fail, I have streamed a bit but stopped because he joined my stream and laughed at me... The problem is that he's shy and doesn't have much friends so I don't know what to do, this friendship needs to over somehow but I don't know how to end it... My motivation is down when I'm with him and everything I wanna do is always bad. Also when I was sick (covid 19) and he wasn't sick he told me that I'm weak... Another example is on winter, my hands was dry because of the cold and winds and his hands wasn't so he laughed at me and told me that my hands/fingers are weak. I'm asking the community to help me out please, everything I'm doing he's laughing at... Thanks for helping
  12. I am currently sitting my spanish class, which is high school level when we are in f**king middle school. I hate this class and wonโ€™t be doing it next year, but after this I have my personal favorites, math and Theatre arts. I am just dying in this class though. S.o.s someone send help lol.
  13. Niki01

    Situationship

    Hi Iโ€™m Niki , So Iโ€™ve been in uni for 6 months now and since the 4th week I have been sleeping with this guy on and off. We have never made any boundaries or put a label on anything and Ik he is still sleeping round with other girls. I have also with guys but not one nights stands just starting to talk to people and when I do I stop having sex with him ( tho we stay friendly and still talk). But every time I try and move on or stop myself I always end up going back there As we always go out in the same clubs/pubs. We get on really well and our personalities match, like all my friends say โ€œthere is an obvious connectionโ€. A bit about him (J) - so J is 9 years older than me and lives just off campus, he has a reputation of sleeping around and he does drugs, which he knows Iโ€™m against and he appreciates my feelings and doesnโ€™t do it when Iโ€™m around. J has gone through a lot of trauma similar to me. ( my cousin killed herself not long ago and his mate done the same 5 years ago) although he is also dealing with cancer and going through his last phase of kemo. J has a mask on in public he is perceived as one of the best lads on campus and has a big personality. Although behind closed doors I can see heโ€™s struggling and he hides his true emotions. Every Saturday we go to karaoke in the local pub and he sings. And I mean he can sing, he has produced songs and albums etc. Anyways I just donโ€™t understand what is going on between us both and Iโ€™m too afraid to ask incase he ends things cause I do like him and enjoy what we have now and I donโ€™t want it to end although I donโ€™t know what to do about the whole situation. We always end up going bk to each others all his house mates love me (I meet up with them without him ) and they always say Iโ€™m the only girl he has brought home multiple times as he always ends things after one night. But I donโ€™t understand why cause he says he doesnโ€™t want a relationship or anything. He also says when weโ€™re laying in bed watching tv โ€œdonโ€™t catch feelings nowโ€ and I donโ€™t understand what he means by this is he waiting for me to admit thereโ€™s feelings or does he genuinely not want me to ? Iโ€™m just so confused and I donโ€™t know what to do or how to go around it.
  14. I met a person. They're great, we've been together 2 months. Recently, a crush from college messaged me to get through some emotional stuff, so I said yeah. I realised I hadn't moved on at all from them. And they admitted they liked me too. For this person I'd do a lot at the drop of a hat. However, I'm in a committed relationship that I don't want to end out of the blue like that because there's nothing wrong at all and I love the person I'm with. But I also want to be with this crush I have the same amount if not moreso. What do I do cause my heads spinning and I can't choose
  15. Hi everyone, I am very much struggling with mood swings right now. I have Bipolar, Schizophrenia and Autism along with OCD and general anxiety disorder, so there are a bunch of diagnoses that are feeding off of each other. So lately I have been having depression coming out as anger and outbursts. I yell and am unable to walk away from the situation. My mom is often the target of my anger, so I am really trying to get better so that she isn't in the line of fire. Do any of you guys have any suggestions for me? I am open to anything... my mom suggested I try journaling what is going on in my head. I am going to try that method, but I would like to see if there are other things I can do along with the journaling. I am willing to just talk too, sometimes venting helps. -Kamy
  16. For as long as I can remember I've felt like I don't fit in with the other guys. As I was growing up I had thought countless times that maybe I was meant to be a girl but until sometime last year, I hadn't thought into it much. I think I'm trans but a friend of mine, who hasn't really known me that long, doesn't think that I am and thinks I might just be a femboy. I've been having doubts about whether I am trans or not and her comment hasn't helped. I can't come out as trans irl currently but I've been living as a girl online in a game called imvu and I feel happy when people use she/her pronouns when referring to me and when people call me the name I picked. I don't know what to think, I feel I'd be happier as a girl but I'm scared I'll regret it if I do.
  17. I haven't ridden, swam, or been to school to do track after in so long! I'm starved for exercise
  18. Hi so my parents are overprotective and react very extremely. I am mostly gay but at my age you can't be completely sure. I can tell my dad isn't fond of LGBTQ+ people and my mom is iffy about it. I am a very shy and anxious person so I could never find out myself.
  19. isxyromavro

    Yo

    My name is Jason. I'm a 17yo trans man, still in school. I present male online and around my friends (who I am out to), obviously dressing like a typical guy on a daily basis. I'd say I probably pass for the most part as long as you don't look at my face, but that's kind of besides the point. I'm neither out to my school nor to my parents, and I wanted to fix that. The thing with my parents is that they're kind of transphobic. I can't really say how transphobic, but they've definitely made comments like "This person is a manโ€”but that's what they want you to think" or "These boys' parents force them to be women" etc. Not to mention they're extremely enbyphobic (though that doesn't exactly concern me personally as I am a binary manโ€”it's still wrong, obviously). Despite all this, I really really want to come out to them and I know how I want to do it (giving them a gender reveal card that says "It's a boy!" before I leave on a school trip, though I'd have to make sure they realize I'm referring to myself so they don't think I'm pregnant or something???), I'm just extremely nervous and I'm not quite sure what exactly I'd want to tell them. I don't even know if it's a good idea, but I'm willing to try. The worst they could do is simply disregard it and reprimand me about it, but I know I probably wouldn't get grounded or anything like that. I really want to start medically transitioningโ€”at the very least get more masculine clothing than the extremely limited amount I have at the moment. For school, I just genuinely have no clue how I'd do that. My entire class isn't exactly garbage, but I wouldn't say they're all that supportive of the LGBT community. They're the "I don't really care if you're straight or gay" kind, I feel. I don't really know how the teachers would be with this cause the vast majority of them don't show their own opinions or beliefs (as that isn't allowed for teachers to do where I live). My friend suggested I e-mail our class's main teacher, but I really don't know what I'd write and what I'd want to do after coming out to literally just one teacher. I don't think she really realizes how mortifying the idea of coming out is to me though (she's ace and her own coming out went really smoothly). I'm looking for advice, maybe tips and experiences from people who have already come out as non-cis to their parents/school, and just ideas of what to say to either when I do actually come out.
  20. Kay_shiv

    Hey

    I'm a lesbian, however I can definitely not tell my parents. I am having a tough time not telling them. Based on my interaction with a psychologist it feels like a bad idea talking to anyone. I live in a third world country and being a homosexual is not as accepted. I could use some advice on how to deal with all of this.
  21. Hi! I'm Katie, and I am a lesbian. I really want to tell my parents, they keep pushing me to date guys. I have teachers at my school, but can I trust them? I don't have any friends, and I just really need to tell them. The problem? They're homophobic. I can't go to live with any relatives, they all live in Russia or Mexico. So, what should I do? Thanks!
  22. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse
  23. Hey everyone! I'm new here, don't know how it works, but i'm gonna give it a try. Im genderfluid, AFAB (assigned female at birth), and my pronouns change. I want to come out to my cisgender straight boyfriend, who doesn't know much about genders and pronouns, He was supportive when i came out as bisexual, but i'm not sure if he will be okay with this and i don't know how to tell him. My lgbt friend told me to not rush it and take my time, but sometimes i feel more enby or even masculine, and everytime he uses she/her pronouns i feel like trowing up (in my native language, we don't have neutral pronouns and use feminine and masculine for almost every word). I don't know what to do, if anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.
  24. Hey guys, I have a question for those who speak languages that don't have gender neutral pronouns nor names, like mine (portuguese), or anyone who has any ideas. In my language, we not only just have she/her or he/him pronouns, but almost every word has an he/him version or a she/her version, and no neutral version. Literally almost every word. It's very dificult to not misgender myself ahaha. But, yeah, does anyone has any advice or any idea about what to do in this situation? Appreciate your time
  25. Iโ€™ve never used this site before, so apologies if Iโ€™m doing this wrong lol. Iโ€™m really questioning my sexuality right now, and I have been seriously for a few months. I had wondered if I might be gay before, but only really because I hadnโ€™t been able to connect with a male, and honestly just had found them kind of repulsive (no offence!). But I met this girl and I knew straight away that she was cool and I wanted to be friends with her. After seeing her a few times again it quickly turned into a fully obsessive crush. Sheโ€™s amazing and I was so confused and scared at first, but now after doing a lot of thinking, Iโ€™m almost sure Iโ€™m not straight, and I donโ€™t dislike the idea. But I still have a lot of problems to consider, like the fact she most likely doesnโ€™t see me that way.
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