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Losing myself


Blc

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I just didn't want to worry you, is all, plus I was also thinking about what I really want, hence my message earlier, the reason why I wasn't in a good place was because, im just scared ill lose you, I told myself I wasn't going to get attached but I think I am, and that's scary for me because every time I'm settled with someone the other person is like fuck you I didn't want you in the first place they don't actually say that but that's what it feels like I'm scared I'm going to lose you because I'm starting to actually properly fall in love, it's why I ward off feelings sometimes, because every time I do everybody leaves and it really hurts, I'm going to be honest I've never fell in love with someone like I have with you, but sometimes I'm scared boecause I don't want to fully open up because I think you and everyone else will either hate me or leave, it's what my old friends did, none of us have stayed in touch its like I don't exist.ย 

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When I said what I said two days ago I honestly thought I'd lost you, I was in a bad place both days, I'm going to be honest, I love you more than any distance, more than the amount of stars in the sky you are my shining star, you're more than I deserve, I want to marry you honestly, I want to see where this goes, I'm in a better place now because of you, and I couldn't be more thankful, I love you so so much baby, you have no idea how much you mean to me ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’

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I just want to say thank you for everything, you've been my rock even before we started dating, I've never opened up to someone like I just did with you, and it felt great still not happy after yesterday but talking to you actually made me feel betterย 

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No more what is going on i want to know everything no matter what im always going to worry about you cuz i love you, you donโ€™t ever have to worry about losing me and itโ€™s ok if you donโ€™t want to get attached thatโ€™s fine and i understand but if you have getting attached you donโ€™t ever have to be scared of that. I will never never say fucc you and that i didnt want you in the first place, youโ€™re not gonna lose me ever it makes me very happy to know that youโ€™re falling in love with me your feelings are youโ€™re feelings and iโ€™d never leave you because of how you feel or youโ€™re feelings. Iโ€™ve only felt like type of love for one person but with you itโ€™s way different and itโ€™s nothing how i felt about that person and you donโ€™t have to open up if itโ€™s too scary for you i could never hate you or leave you.ย 

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No, you didnโ€™t lose im sorry if i ever made you feel or think that way. you donโ€™t have to say thank you even when you were in a relationship with her i was there for you cuz you deserve it, you deserve the worldย 

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Awww thank you so much you have no idea how much that means to Me, three weeks tomorrow, feels longer than that, and I want you to know that you will never lose me, either, I may not always be on but you can always message me and I'll always reply when I can, Ive only really felt this type of love for one person, but my love for you goes beyond that, these almost three weeks have been some of the hardest and the best weeks ever, and I have you to thank for that, you can be emotionless or emotional with me, and I won't mind, I won't find it weird, because half of the time I can be emotional or emotionless myself, so we can be emotional and emotionless together, you don't have to be scared to tell me anything because I'm chill, I won't get mad, or upset, I'll listen, and I'm sorry if I ever make you feel like you've lost me, you haven't and you won't ever, I'm here for you now and always and I'll always worry about you too, because I love you too, and you're like part of my family, just know that my heart is with you,ย  no one elseย 

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Awww I'm glad, I can't stop smiling, I'm genuinely happy, I actually feel myself getting emotional again omg๐Ÿ˜ญ but it's a good kind of emotional and the tears I cry are happy ones, I've never been this happy, I'm genuinely truly in love here te amo futura esposa, now and forever ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’—

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I'm glad, you honestly mean so much to me, you have no idea, I wish we lived closer so we could actually see each other but for now this is good too, honestly you make me so happy, idk why or how I deserve your love but I'm glad I have it, this, us feels absolutely right three weeks tomorrow, it feels like longer, honestly, and I can't wait to see where this goesย 

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You light up my world too mi amor and I will always be here for you even when my, day is going rubbish, I will be there for you and no matter what I will always love youย 

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I'm glad, I figured I'd make make one especially about you to show you how much you mean to me, it made me smile writing it tbh, because today you've actually made me happier than I've been for the past three days, so I figured I owed you a smile mi amor ๐Ÿ’—

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Posted (edited)

Ik I saw,, ๐Ÿ˜Šit made my heart speed up a little and made me smile like crazy, I'm still smiling about it now, you're the only one I see marrying and you complete me in every way, and I love you so so much mi amor ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’

Edited by Blc
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u make my heart shine bright especially when thereโ€™s a darkness inside when im in pain you take that pain away and no one has ever been able to do that for meย 

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You make my heart warm up, you cheer me up when I hate myself, or when I'm feeling really bad when you're not there, I reread our messages and you still make me happy even when your not there. When I opened up to you about my trauma yesterday, I've never opened up to someone like that, not even my best friend or family, when I'm emotionless talking to you breaks down the walls which no one has been able to do you mean the absolute world to me, and I'm not scared like I've been In past relationships I'm actually confident this time and I honestly couldn't be happierย 

9 minutes ago, La_Bonita_Chica said:

u make my heart shine bright especially when thereโ€™s a darkness inside when im in pain you take that pain away and no one has ever been able to do that for meย 

ย 

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