valuing myself and the world again

[jan49216]

i moved from my house of 15 years the only home ive ever known about seven months ago and i feel completely unimportant because so many of my old friends don't speak to me anymore and the new friends I've made at my new school treat me horribly because they are all extremely ill and i feel like they are dragging me down with them. i just got broken up with but i didn't even really have feelings for her i just wanted to feel loved, it turned out horribly and i although knew it would turn out badly and i would get hurt i took it and now i am regretting not caring enough about myself because i am hurting other people in the process of hating myself. i am always sabotaging myself because i don’t think ive ever been completely okay with myself and ive finally realized that i am the one who is hurting me the most right now and i need to learn to put myself first. there is so much going on and im just completely in my head all of the time nowadays i want to be myself again but im not sure who that even is. I’ve been drinking, doing drugs, relapsing in self harm, developing an eating disorder, stealing, etc and  since I've moved and i want control over my life again. i need help valuing my life and appreciating things instead of only seeing the bad in everything and need to know how to take care of myself and learn to love myself and to be okay with being alone again when i hate nearly everything about me and hate everything. i need to know that things will be better and what i can do to work towards that as soon as possible.

[Monsoon]

Hey.

Welcome. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. It sounds like you've got so much going on right now, and I'm glad you've opened up to us here. We are here to help you and we've got your back :)

How does it feel to get all of this off your chest? I'm wondering, where do you think all of these struggles started?