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  1. So this summer was pretty awesome, I relaxed by the pool a lot and everything was pretty chill. I do a girl scout type thing and I switched troops this year (I started in this troop moved to one closer to my house and then moved back to the first one this year) and I was re-introduced to the troop at something right before our annual summer camp that is for a lot of troops I go the day before it starts because my mom is apart of the nursing team at camp, the first day of camp you get settled in your assigned cabin, do a swim test, and a knife safety class. It started pouring rain during the swim test so my new troop and I ran to the cabin and waited it out, while it was still raining we had to go to knife safety, I was in the class right after the rest of them so I went with them and waited outside of the covered pavilion (the rain had stopped by the time we got to the class.) I was stressed by the swim test quite a bit, I was processing my bff coming out as lesbian (it was surprising i'm not homophobic i'm now bisexual) and was just stressed in general and had an anxiety attack. One of the leaders from my new troop (who's family I had stayed in touch with through the 4 years i was in the other troop) saw that I was struggling and asked me what was wrong, before that point I had never opened up or told anybody about my anxiety I said to her that I had anxiety and that I was having an anxiety attack, she calmed me down, gave me a hug and told me that she has anxiety to, I instantly didn't feel so alone anymore and I felt that I could open up about things and be open about everything anxiety related, with her at least. She made sure I was ok during my knife safety class and I was left to do the rest of my day. I struggled with anxiety the whole week and she was understanding bout it, I had never been treated like that before and it was amazing, I stuck close by her the whole week and she even helped me realize that I have a hidden talent that I didn't even now about, I'm good at archery (she taught it at camp and I knew i liked it but hadn't done it in a while.) She told me about an archery club team that she was starting with another leader (who happened to be my amazing friend's mother) and I was excited about it. Later in the week we got to do a high ropes course, I had tried earlier in the week but had chickened out but I love the zip line so the camp director (who also happened to be the mother of another friend lol) let me just do the zip line or even the high ropes if I wanted, I was up there and we were going to be up for about 2 hours and it was fun for about the first hour, one of my friends (second archery person's kid) was getting really scared about something I was up on the tower about 7 feet away from her and after she got off the thing she was on and I gave her a hug, her mother was there and said "Thank you Natasha (thats not my name btw) you are an amazing friend" and her saying that made me happy. I was helping my friend calm down when another friend was struggling on the course and had to be taken off, to make an extremely long story a little bit shorter she had to go to the hospital, the leader that had been haling me with stuff all week went with her and I felt more alone then ever, all of the girls that were on the course that were in our troop went back to the cabin and cried together, I didn't know that the leader had to with her until later. I felt alone just because they all knew her better then I did and I thought that I had royally screwed up or something and I wanted everything to be ok, the leader came back to camp that night and wanted to come check on us immediately to make sure we were ok but another leader made her eat dinner first because she had missed dinner and when she came into our cabin the other girls were chanting Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! before realizing who it was (we had been promised chocolate 2 hours earlier) But I ran up and hugged her, I had written her a letter and given it to her with instructions to read it before she went to bed that night, the next morning at breakfast I asked her if she read it and if she could actually read my handwriting (its really bad) she said that she really loved my letter and that she could read my handwriting. Now I see her almost every week between scouts and archery and I write her notes and letters a lot. My other archery coach's kid is one of my best friends and she has helped me learn more about myself and she accepts me for who i am (well I havn't told her i'm Bi yet so lets see how this goes!)
  2. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  3. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  4. Hello, my best friend is going through a severe depression since forever, he is seeing a psychiatrist but he's barely getting better, I really wanna help him, I always talk and listen to him and try to cheer him up but I feel that it's not enough because I'm not seeing an improvement. Please help and tell me what should I do. Thanks.
  5. I’m living in China and have a Chinese boyfriend. Recently he started a douyin (chinese tiktok) account where he posts some casual moments in our (mixed race) relationship. The comments are wreaking me. People are saying he’s too good for me. That I’m average looking or that I look old or bluntly that I am not beautiful. They ask him why he doesn’t date a Chinese girl. There’s one video that’s really popular. And people are tearing me apart. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned my worth like this. And unfortunately, I find myself checking and rereading these comments endlessly. Every free second I’m opening this app and checking what new thing people have said. I feel like I’m not a human. And now I look in the mirror and I can only see what they saw. I look at my boyfriend and worry he will listen to them. I don’t want him to know how much it upsets me, so I sit in the bathroom and cry. Am I really ugly? I don’t want to think so. But so many people say I am.
  6. Sorry about the the title, but writing hi, hello or anything like that seems boring and repetitive and i'm also being honest here so... Hi! As you can guess, my username have nothing to do with my actual name. I'm 24 years old with selective mutism, social anxiety and anxiety in general. I also strugle with low self-esteem, trust- and abandonment issues and depression. Because of these (and the years of constant bullying that caused most of them), i have a very hard time socializing in any form, which i'm tired of and want to change amongst many other things. I've already got a vague plan of what i want to change and how to do it and also took steps towards the first course of action, which is ease my general anxiety. Actually i found this site during my research on that and thought - 'Ah! Why not?' - so here i am. Nice to meet you!
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