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Found 14 results

  1. Alex.

    Anxiety.

    Bleh. Here it comes. The bad anxiety I used to get as a little child. I have been experiencing it really bad since Thursday, when innocent kids and teachers in my home town, texas, were killed in a school massacre. It breaks my heart. My cousins live close to that area. My whole life I have been scared of things like that, dying in the hands of another. I would cry in my sleep as a little girl, worried that someone would break into my house and kill me. No child should have those worries, or actually be a part of those events, yet it happens. In my opinion, something needs to change. I’ll also be open to more about my anxiety. I keep having these visions of me liking girls and I’m like WHYYYYYYYYYYY. I’m thinking about me identifying of heterofliexible, but I have never liked a girl before but I would really like to. I’m much more attracted to boys though. sometimes I feel like a mistake with all the rejection, homophobia I see, and my current identifications. I am a proud Christian, and I’m worried I’ll go to h3ll if I have a gf only once in my life. I also always think of the worst in every situation, like death on a vacation. I’ve always thought that, when I was little I used to count the years until my death. It’s summer time to so I have nothing to do right now but dwell on my thoughts. 🫤
  2. I'm dating this guy, we both really really like each other but we wanted our relationship to be private, we don't mind if our parents find out but what we didn't want was people at our school knowing. He has a lot of friends, friends that I don't completely trust as I've had a bad history with some of his friends, and they didn't know about us... Well not until today when they walked into the classroom that him and I were in. We weren't doing anything bad, we were just talking, but when they walked in on us they thought otherwise and started commenting. He was in a lot of pain today and seeing his friends walk in on us put him in even more pain, I freaked out and started crying because it was the only thing I could do at the time so he tried comforting me when his friends left but I just feel really guilty and like it's my fault that everything has happened. He went home after that happened and I really wished I went home too but I'm still stuck at school dealing with my anxiety and depression on my own :)
  3. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Hate, Mental Illness
  4. Alex.

    School play jitters

    I have my first play in theatre and I am so nervous I don’t want to mess up! I am friendless in the class people only talk to me to yell at me I am respected no where besides my history and ELA class but to the rest I’m trash. My ADHD sucks at times I hate it. If I make a mistake like I have been doing no one in my class will like me again. I get blamed for every mistake even though those same people make mistakes too but they don’t get yelled at. I just hope I do good :(
  5. Hi… I’m cereal.. and I’ve been having problems with a bad habit I have, that nobody knows about. I cut myself.. and I just can’t stop. I have cuts all over my arms and legs, and I jus t want to know how to love my body and stop this habit. So please.. help me.
  6. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness
  7. Not only do we attend the same taekwondo school together, we are also on the school's demo team. He is the leader of the team, and I always feel intimidated by anything he does. What's worse is that he's one year younger than me, already has a "LinkedIn" page, and achieved many awards and fame from his school and work at taekwondo. I only achieved a Principal's award at my middle school in 8th grade, but I don't like thinking about middle school because they always bring up bad memories. Whenever I look at him, I'm always scared of him critiquing me, how I haven't remembered our form, or maybe how I should lose weight. I know it's only my own thoughts and feelings I placed on to this boy, and it's not fair to be scared of someone who hasn't done anything bad to you. That's logical. I get that. I know there's no need to be scared of him, but I still feel scared of him. I didn't talk to my parents about it yet because I assume that they would say something like what I mentioned in the last few sentences or tell me that I'm over-exaggerating and that I should be more friendly to him. I'm going to talk to therapist this Thursday about this and update in a few days. --Lil Jiko
  8. So this summer was pretty awesome, I relaxed by the pool a lot and everything was pretty chill. I do a girl scout type thing and I switched troops this year (I started in this troop moved to one closer to my house and then moved back to the first one this year) and I was re-introduced to the troop at something right before our annual summer camp that is for a lot of troops I go the day before it starts because my mom is apart of the nursing team at camp, the first day of camp you get settled in your assigned cabin, do a swim test, and a knife safety class. It started pouring rain during the swim test so my new troop and I ran to the cabin and waited it out, while it was still raining we had to go to knife safety, I was in the class right after the rest of them so I went with them and waited outside of the covered pavilion (the rain had stopped by the time we got to the class.) I was stressed by the swim test quite a bit, I was processing my bff coming out as lesbian (it was surprising i'm not homophobic i'm now bisexual) and was just stressed in general and had an anxiety attack. One of the leaders from my new troop (who's family I had stayed in touch with through the 4 years i was in the other troop) saw that I was struggling and asked me what was wrong, before that point I had never opened up or told anybody about my anxiety I said to her that I had anxiety and that I was having an anxiety attack, she calmed me down, gave me a hug and told me that she has anxiety to, I instantly didn't feel so alone anymore and I felt that I could open up about things and be open about everything anxiety related, with her at least. She made sure I was ok during my knife safety class and I was left to do the rest of my day. I struggled with anxiety the whole week and she was understanding bout it, I had never been treated like that before and it was amazing, I stuck close by her the whole week and she even helped me realize that I have a hidden talent that I didn't even now about, I'm good at archery (she taught it at camp and I knew i liked it but hadn't done it in a while.) She told me about an archery club team that she was starting with another leader (who happened to be my amazing friend's mother) and I was excited about it. Later in the week we got to do a high ropes course, I had tried earlier in the week but had chickened out but I love the zip line so the camp director (who also happened to be the mother of another friend lol) let me just do the zip line or even the high ropes if I wanted, I was up there and we were going to be up for about 2 hours and it was fun for about the first hour, one of my friends (second archery person's kid) was getting really scared about something I was up on the tower about 7 feet away from her and after she got off the thing she was on and I gave her a hug, her mother was there and said "Thank you Natasha (thats not my name btw) you are an amazing friend" and her saying that made me happy. I was helping my friend calm down when another friend was struggling on the course and had to be taken off, to make an extremely long story a little bit shorter she had to go to the hospital, the leader that had been haling me with stuff all week went with her and I felt more alone then ever, all of the girls that were on the course that were in our troop went back to the cabin and cried together, I didn't know that the leader had to with her until later. I felt alone just because they all knew her better then I did and I thought that I had royally screwed up or something and I wanted everything to be ok, the leader came back to camp that night and wanted to come check on us immediately to make sure we were ok but another leader made her eat dinner first because she had missed dinner and when she came into our cabin the other girls were chanting Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! before realizing who it was (we had been promised chocolate 2 hours earlier) But I ran up and hugged her, I had written her a letter and given it to her with instructions to read it before she went to bed that night, the next morning at breakfast I asked her if she read it and if she could actually read my handwriting (its really bad) she said that she really loved my letter and that she could read my handwriting. Now I see her almost every week between scouts and archery and I write her notes and letters a lot. My other archery coach's kid is one of my best friends and she has helped me learn more about myself and she accepts me for who i am (well I havn't told her i'm Bi yet so lets see how this goes!)
  9. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  10. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  11. Hello, my best friend is going through a severe depression since forever, he is seeing a psychiatrist but he's barely getting better, I really wanna help him, I always talk and listen to him and try to cheer him up but I feel that it's not enough because I'm not seeing an improvement. Please help and tell me what should I do. Thanks.
  12. I’m living in China and have a Chinese boyfriend. Recently he started a douyin (chinese tiktok) account where he posts some casual moments in our (mixed race) relationship. The comments are wreaking me. People are saying he’s too good for me. That I’m average looking or that I look old or bluntly that I am not beautiful. They ask him why he doesn’t date a Chinese girl. There’s one video that’s really popular. And people are tearing me apart. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned my worth like this. And unfortunately, I find myself checking and rereading these comments endlessly. Every free second I’m opening this app and checking what new thing people have said. I feel like I’m not a human. And now I look in the mirror and I can only see what they saw. I look at my boyfriend and worry he will listen to them. I don’t want him to know how much it upsets me, so I sit in the bathroom and cry. Am I really ugly? I don’t want to think so. But so many people say I am.
  13. Sorry about the the title, but writing hi, hello or anything like that seems boring and repetitive and i'm also being honest here so... Hi! As you can guess, my username have nothing to do with my actual name. I'm 24 years old with selective mutism, social anxiety and anxiety in general. I also strugle with low self-esteem, trust- and abandonment issues and depression. Because of these (and the years of constant bullying that caused most of them), i have a very hard time socializing in any form, which i'm tired of and want to change amongst many other things. I've already got a vague plan of what i want to change and how to do it and also took steps towards the first course of action, which is ease my general anxiety. Actually i found this site during my research on that and thought - 'Ah! Why not?' - so here i am. Nice to meet you!
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