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Found 17 results

  1. Alexis.

    Sad vibes of 2022

    Umm, where do I start? Ok, I’ll just put this into words…anyways, for the past three years, I have been depressed, mentally sick, and memories of my past creep around me. My mom has called the mental facility people like 5 times, and honestly, I don’t want to go, it all seems scary. I used to ( and sometimes do) hurt myself, when I’m angry over simple things I have done. It isn’t my fault for doing that or saying this, somethings I just can’t control. People joke about my sadness, it isn’t funny. I was alone for a whole school year, that’s how it all started. Covid ruined my life, I’m recovering from it all and no one respects me for it. People don’t want me in general, I try, I try so hard to be someone greater than my special ED label, be that girl who wrote a giant historical fiction novel. People exulde me at school, it hurts. Lately, I’ve been not eating a lot and lost weight ( I would eat more if I chose to), but I just have too much anxiety- there is a lot going on in the south and my dad agrees with every southern governor and it scares me because I have a different opinion than him, being demisexual ( well at least for now) and how my parents will react to it, war in Ukraine, and personal issues, all form into this bubble that I can’t pop. I just wish people saw my strengths and not my weaknesses, it would mean one less red scar on my arm. I just feel like nobody understands me, I can’t be sad or feel sad feelings, if I do I will be taken to a mental hospital automatically. So I have to hide everything inside of me, just like I have done before. I’m a great writer, but everyone sees the girl with dysgraphia. I don’t like love, yet people are always wanting me to like people. My family wants me to be happy, and I try to be happy, but I can’t be that happy girl I was in 2018. So, I’ll try to be less sad, but it’s hard when you are forced to smile, I’m hiding too much under it.
  2. Alexis.

    I’m not dead.

    Hey, I’m back. I’d like to say I’m not dead, although, there were times I wished to be it. People are still not liking me, still having problems with homophobia in my state, still keeping secrets, and still using the act of fingernail on skin. But really, life isn’t fair, and I have to make the best of it. My life has been crazy, and here are some things I’d like to say. I’m demisexual and currently aceflux, and questioning if I might be heterofliexible or just straight. Yeah. Another thing is that this morning I said my survival story in front of my class, how I was born three months early and was one pound, told I wouldn’t be able to walk or talk, yet here I am, a novelist and poet. That’s what it means to be a survivor to me. To push through boundaries, through hurt and betrayal. I hope I inspired some students today, maybe they’ll respect me more. I also have made a strong connection with my friend, he is nice to me and I am nice to him, so I have a good friendship. I’m so sorry for being so inactive, I was trying to help myself. I didn’t want ant of you to worry, I’m still alive and doing my best to get better. School is almost over and I have more testing to do. Ugh. if anyone wants to talk to me, I’m open. I love y’all, and you matter.
  3. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating, Self-Harm
  4. I'm dating this guy, we both really really like each other but we wanted our relationship to be private, we don't mind if our parents find out but what we didn't want was people at our school knowing. He has a lot of friends, friends that I don't completely trust as I've had a bad history with some of his friends, and they didn't know about us... Well not until today when they walked into the classroom that him and I were in. We weren't doing anything bad, we were just talking, but when they walked in on us they thought otherwise and started commenting. He was in a lot of pain today and seeing his friends walk in on us put him in even more pain, I freaked out and started crying because it was the only thing I could do at the time so he tried comforting me when his friends left but I just feel really guilty and like it's my fault that everything has happened. He went home after that happened and I really wished I went home too but I'm still stuck at school dealing with my anxiety and depression on my own :)
  5. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Hate, Mental Illness
  6. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Mental Illness, Sexual Assault & Rape
  7. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness
  8. Mani

    Depression

    I think I am depressed
  9. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating, Mental Illness
  10. Ange

    Ange

    The urge to self harm right now are so strong my medication ran out on monday and i have felt like shit ever since and I have to pick up a new prescription tomorrow but i don’t know how im going to make it through the night without giving in to the urges I also want to die but not planning anything but I just no longer want to exist on this shitty planet. I keep thinking everyone will be better off without me and if I’m out with my friends I think will people even notice if I’m not there no one ever messages me first I always message them and it’s like will they even notice if I didn’t message them for a week because i clearly matter to them so much that they don’t bother to message me and it’s like every time I say something about how I’m feeling they always say you matter you can always talk to me etc all that bullshit and it’s like your only saying it because you have you. If i really mean that much to you message me saying it out of the blue because that could help anyone struggling a simply message saying you care could save someone’s life but no everyone’s too busy with their own lives to care and it’s like professionals say that you matter but it’s like they are being paid to say that and yeah okay maybe you get some people who actually care but that doesn’t change the way you feel about yourself
  11. Charlotte115

    Am I ok?

    Mental health the worse thing that I go through. Anxiety, depression and anger issues that sums up me in 3 words. People see the fake side of me, the moody teenager who doesn't care about the world me, not the smiling, happy and joyful me. But of cause school brings out the worse in people. Toxic friendships and hatefully comments doesn't help, people trying to get you to take drugs or to smoke as well. People ask me "so Charlotte, why do you have mental health issues?" Like I'm supposed to know the answer, I don't so what's the point in asking? That voice in my head makes me believe that I'm crazy and a unstable person to be around. One minute I'm talking to someone in a normal tone of voice then the next minute I'm shouting at them for doing nothing except from talking to me. Am I crazy, unstable or just a person who needs help?
  12. Hello. My name is Haart, and I find myself in a difficult situation and in need of some advice. I met my girlfriend online last January, and we have been a couple since June. We live in the opposite sides of the World, and is therefore in a long distance relationship. In September, I managed to visit her for a week, and we both had an amazing time, but shortly after I returned home, my girlfriend entered a deep state of depression. She has a history of mental issues, especially major depression and genetical(?) anxiety, and she has tried to take her own life on a couple of occasions in the past. My girlfriend has tried to explain that since she was in such a "high" of happiness for the week I visited, she fell hard and is now in a "dip". A lot has been going on in her life recently, with internet problems reducing our contact, being forced to move, as well as physical illness. Lately, the sudden change in our relationship as well as stress from the university has really taken a toll on me. Whenever I think about her, I start missing her immensely, and I've been crying almost every day for the last three weeks, missing the connection we used to have. Since she's in this "dip", my own self image is crumbling. I can't stop thinking that I'm doing something wrong, and I blame myself for us not being in this amazing relationship we had before I visited her. I understand that my girlfriend is going through a though time, and I really want to know how to handle the situation with her depression. Is there anything I can do to help her? How can I show her that I care and love her even when she's in this state? In general; how should I act, how should I treat her, what can I do? At the same time, I can't ignore my own feelings. How can I balance being the supporting boyfriend while also not breaking completely? I've told her how I feel, but don't want to bother her with my struggles when she's going through this. She says that she wants me to talk about it, but when I tell her my worries and anxieties, she keeps blaming herself, and when I express that I feel like a horrible person, she mirrors my emotions and starts dragging herself through the dirt. What can I do? I feel like the situation is so mentally challenging, and crying every day and feeling like I've failed and that I'm not enough is tearing at me. I've booked a new trip to visit her in December, and I will be staying there for a month. I'm worried about what happens if she's still in the "dip" while I'm there. Does anyone have any good advice on how to handle this? I'm really sorry that this is all a lot at once. I just don't know what to do, and I need help.
  13. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  14. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
  15. Hello, my best friend is going through a severe depression since forever, he is seeing a psychiatrist but he's barely getting better, I really wanna help him, I always talk and listen to him and try to cheer him up but I feel that it's not enough because I'm not seeing an improvement. Please help and tell me what should I do. Thanks.
  16. It is simply overwhelming for me. I've been sincerely the top of my class from first grade up to my last year in high school. Only then did I realize that I had spent all these years studying just to seek pleasure out of science, where in fact science has nothing to offer. My first love rejected me 5 years ago, another girl I liked was just out of my league and now I am about to drop out of Medical School because there is nothing ahead of me. I don't care about money, beauty, glory, sex, success and that's the problem. My family is being torn apart by my passiveness, they only know to push me into doing things and that just makes it worse for me. I live in isolation now, all my friends are either in school or employed, while I stay locked in home with my family members. Sometimes I just wish I would drop dead somewhere, I don't care about anything any more.
  17. This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Self-Harm
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