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[Bi the way]

So I just came out to my mother today and it was much better than I thought. We had an hour long discussion on the same but she feels that what I am going through is a phase, I am too young to be really sure and we don't have the “queer gene” in our family. While I do appreciate that she listened to me, I really wish she could understand my point of view better and would understand that this isn't just a phase.

What could I do to make her more comfortable and accepting of the idea? 

[Emberfrost12]

Congrats on coming out! I'm sure she'll become more accepting with time (that probably wasn't very helpful).

[Bi the way]

6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Congrats on coming out! I'm sure she'll become more accepting with time (that probably wasn't very helpful).

Thanks! Don't  worry it is reassuring :)

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, Bi the way said:

So I just came out to my mother today and it was much better than I thought. We had an hour long discussion on the same but she feels that what I am going through is a phase, I am too young to be really sure and we don't have the “queer gene” in our family. While I do appreciate that she listened to me, I really wish she could understand my point of view better and would understand that this isn't just a phase.

What could I do to make her more comfortable and accepting of the idea? 

Hey @Bi the way

Congratulations on coming out! I know Ember has already said it, but time and patience are key here. This kind of news is big for parents, and it can take time for them to really process it and accept that their child knows their identity. I've supported many people in your kind of situation before, and once they've had some time to process, they usually recognise that their child is being serious and that this isn't a phase. What do you think? How are you feeling about it all?

[kqfellasfan]

congratz @Bi the way that's so coool! definityely just keep being yourself and eventually it will get better im sure!

[Bi the way]

7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Bi the way

Congratulations on coming out! I know Ember has already said it, but time and patience are key here. This kind of news is big for parents, and it can take time for them to really process it and accept that their child knows their identity. I've supported many people in your kind of situation before, and once they've had some time to process, they usually recognise that their child is being serious and that this isn't a phase. What do you think? How are you feeling about it all?

@MonsoonThank you so much!  I do feel happier now and my mom's reaction was better than I thought. I guess she does need her time to think about it so hopefully she’ll be more accepting with time.

6 hours ago, kqfellasfan said:

congratz @Bi the way that's so coool! definityely just keep being yourself and eventually it will get better im sure!

@kqfellasfanThanks a lot :)

Edited November 17, 2021 by Bi the way

[Monsoon]

Hey @Bi the way

Yeah, definitely, time is key in this kind of situation. Would you like support for anything else from us right now? We are here if you need anything. 

[Bi the way]

15 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Bi the way

Yeah, definitely, time is key in this kind of situation. Would you like support for anything else from us right now? We are here if you need anything. 

@Monsoon The solution to this might also be the same but my mom just told me to think about guys instead (I told her I like girls) and I should be fine. I know time is the key but it can get a bit difficult to deal with at times. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally get why that's difficult; it completely invalidates your identity. I'm wondering, when she said that, how did you respond? 

[Bi the way]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally get why that's difficult; it completely invalidates your identity. I'm wondering, when she said that, how did you respond? 

I told her that this isn't how things work and it isn't possible to change who I like but she just said that it's normal to experience this as a teenager but it doesn't mean you're Bisexual.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, that really shows to me that she thinks this is just a phase which I imagine is really frustrating for you. How are you feeling? I'm wondering, do you think there's anything else you can do at this point to help the situation? 

[Bi the way]

35 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, that really shows to me that she thinks this is just a phase which I imagine is really frustrating for you. How are you feeling? I'm wondering, do you think there's anything else you can do at this point to help the situation? 

Hey
I am actually quite confused. Initially I thought that she would start supporting me but I feel really helpless these days. My family is religious and today she even asked me to pray to God that I become straight soon. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Ah, that must have been tough for you to hear. How did it make you feel when she said that? I know it might not seem like it now, but many parents do change their minds, and it just takes time and patience, and there isn't much else that can be done at this point other than waiting it out. Do you think she'll come round eventually?

[Bi the way]

46 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, that must have been tough for you to hear. How did it make you feel when she said that? I know it might not seem like it now, but many parents do change their minds, and it just takes time and patience, and there isn't much else that can be done at this point other than waiting it out. Do you think she'll come round eventually?

Hey

I just really wished that she could accept me as I am and would actually listen to me and not just hear me out.

It will take a lot of time but I think she might be more accepting in some years.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally feel that for you. We all have a strong desire to be accepted, and when we aren't, it can be really upsetting. I think that despite all of this, it's so important to still show her how happy you are by living your truth, and hopefully, by doing that, she will appreciate and accept your identity more and more. This may take quite a while, but trust me, it does get better for a lot of people. What do you think you're going to do next? 

[Bi the way]

17 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally feel that for you. We all have a strong desire to be accepted, and when we aren't, it can be really upsetting. I think that despite all of this, it's so important to still show her how happy you are by living your truth, and hopefully, by doing that, she will appreciate and accept your identity more and more. This may take quite a while, but trust me, it does get better for a lot of people. What do you think you're going to do next? 

Thanks a lot :)

I think I’ll just be myself and if she raises a similar “concern”  I’ll try to politely  state that It took me a while too but I accept who I am and I am happy and I’ll also try to educate her more about the community.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, exactly, education is so key here, as is living your truth and showing those people how happy you are by doing that; they are the best recipes for success here. How are you feeling about it all now?

[Bi the way]

11 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, exactly, education is so key here, as is living your truth and showing those people how happy you are by doing that; they are the best recipes for success here. How are you feeling about it all now?

I am feeling much better. I sort of came out to the whole grade so I feel much more comfortable about myself.

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Bi the way said:

I am feeling much better. I sort of came out to the whole grade so I feel much more comfortable about myself.

Hey,

That's amazing; well done! How did it go? Did you plan to do it, or did it just happen?

[Bi the way]

4 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's amazing; well done! How did it go? Did you plan to do it, or did it just happen?

We had this prose/poetry assignment for our English class and my piece was about how it felt being closeted and being raised in a homophobic society and everyone connected the dots and  got to know .  Many people in my grade are homophobic but I mostly received support so I am content.

[Monsoon]

14 hours ago, Bi the way said:

We had this prose/poetry assignment for our English class and my piece was about how it felt being closeted and being raised in a homophobic society and everyone connected the dots and  got to know .  Many people in my grade are homophobic but I mostly received support so I am content.

Hey there,

That's a great coming out story, and I'm glad you mostly received support :)

Has it given you a confidence boost about coming about?

[Bi the way]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's a great coming out story, and I'm glad you mostly received support :)

Has it given you a confidence boost about coming about?

Thanks:)

I am still a bit hesitant (considering my mom's reaction) but I do feel much more confident.

 

[Monsoon]

Hey,

That's great to hear, and trust me, coming out does get easier. In my case, I was able to eventually stop caring what other people thought of my sexuality, because that's for them to deal with, not me, and it's really freeing to think that way. It can take a while to get to that point, but the more you do it, the more confident you become; what do you think? Also, how are you doing today?

[Bi the way]

39 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's great to hear, and trust me, coming out does get easier. In my case, I was able to eventually stop caring what other people thought of my sexuality, because that's for them to deal with, not me, and it's really freeing to think that way. It can take a while to get to that point, but the more you do it, the more confident you become; what do you think? Also, how are you doing today?

Thanks this is really helpful :)

I am doing fine. I do feel more happy and myself  as I am coming out to more and more people (just a bit concerned about my parents) but it feels good knowing that there are people who accept me for who I am.

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Bi the way said:

Thanks this is really helpful :)

I am doing fine. I do feel more happy and myself  as I am coming out to more and more people (just a bit concerned about my parents) but it feels good knowing that there are people who accept me for who I am.

Hey there,

Yeah, definitely. Being accepted is such a great feeling, and just remember, even if someone doesn't accept you, that's their problem, and nothing to do with you. Your identity is what makes you special and unique, and that should be celebrated. What do you think? :)