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What brings you to Ditch the Label?

Found 14 results

  1. Hey, i've been really wanted to cut my hair for the longest time to a sort of "boyish" haircut and my mom won't allow me. I've cut my hair to a sort of similar length before and my mom hated it. She would look at me with disgust and when we were walking home from the salon she started saying stuff like "you look like a boy, your a girl not a boy" and other stuff like that but i cant remember all that well because it's been a while. But that experience made me cry a lot, and of course my mom said she was sorry and started saying how beautiful i am to make me feel better. Which is so annoying because i know she doesn't think that way. A little while after i got that haircut she didn't care about it, but made the occasional negative comment on it. So maybe if i get this haircut she'll hate it at first, and then get used to it?? i hope so at least . But yeah she wants me to grow out my hair and whenever i bring it up to her or argue about it to her she settles on letting my cut it after my graduation from school. It's a step towards the right direction but now i talk about cutting my hair sometimes and she just flat out says no. Maybe she said she would let me cut my hair later to shut me up... can someone help me figure out how to get my hair cut with my moms permission? i honestly don't care if my mom hates it i just want to cut it so bad because it would give me so much gender euphoria and it would make me love myself a lot more. btw my mom is homophobic and transphobic (obviously) This is the haircut i want, i made sure to have a picture of a fem person so my mom could recognize that girls can still look girlish with this haircut. I didnt send this picture to my mom yet so maybe i should?
  2. Hi , I’m really struggling atm to come to terms with my gender I feel sometimes like I don’t relate with my assigned gender and these feelings seems to be really intense sometimes and then disappear and come back but I don’t know what I am and it’s stressing me out I feel out of control and I’m scared I’m just faking everything and my brain is just making this all up I probably sound really stupid and I’m sorry , if anyone else has gone through this please leave your thoughts on it
  3. Hi Im a 15 year old girl in highschool. I talked alot like alot, but last year was hard, I kept seeing some girls and felt something I couldnt explain it. Everytime I saw that one girl I hated myself more and more I got so much anxiety and fell into a deep depresion. I stopped talking for the rest of the year. My parent and siblings are all huge homophobics and I was grown up so wrong. My friends kept asking why Im so quiet and whats wrong but I just couldnt. It was a really hard year but little did I know what real saddness is. This year this perfect girl came into my life shes beautifull and funny with the best personality. I could talk to her and at first it was just a normal friendship until... I started getting feeling and I have so much social anxiety when shes near me I cant even walk or talk normal whrn shes near me. Ive never felt anything like that with anyone. I left my friend group feeling so alone and I distracted myself with sport. I pushed myself so much, its the only thing that helped. Then I found people really nice people and they took me in. I moved classes and my life has been going better ever since but I still cant get her out of my mind. I need to tell someone and I think I can tell my friends we have been friends for 6 months almost but we are really close and I think theyll support me. One of my friends are coming over saterday and I think I should tell her there. I dont have any feeling for her or any of my new friends. Im still fuckimg sad and cry alome sooo much. Does anyone have any tips to help me come out or just tips to distract myself from my selfhate.
  4. About ten months ago, I was diagnosed (unofficially) with depression and anxiety all of a sudden. It felt like my life was a spider web, and I kept getting tangled up in it. I was sent to doctors and therapists, but deep down I knew it wasn't helping. However, I've realized that there is a pattern to my mental state: I will be fine for up to a month or so, but then one day/night I will have a sudden anxiety attack. Along with my depression coming back in full swing. But I have learned to hide these things, appearing perfectly fine to those around me. I felt that it was easier not to worry people, because I didn't want my problems to become other people's problems. But keeping my emotions on lockdown almost drove me crazy. I slept less, nearly destroyed my eating schedule, wanted nothing to do with other human beings, and when people tried to talk to me, I would just snap. I felt horrible, but I also felt like I deserved this. Some messed up part of me kept me miserable. But then one day, everything was just...gone. I felt fine, and I couldn't tell if I was depressed anymore. I assumed all was well and carried on with life. But five months later, the same things started happening, but worse. It felt like there was a terrible weighing feeling in my heart, and it didn't go away. I got no sleep at all, only to be awoken by horrible thoughts and nightmares. But of course, no one knew this. I became so accustomed to acting normal that my emotions just disappeared, and I couldn't tell the difference between sad and happy. But the same thing followed - I woke up two weeks later, and everything was fine. Every few months or so, these things keep happening, but worse each time. This has happened at least three times already, and it doesn't seem like it will stop. However, this isn't completely without cause. In July of 2021, I started questioning my sexuality and gender. It was so confusing, and I felt like nothing fit. I spent a whole year and several months trying to figure out 'what I was', while dealing with my mental issues. I have figured out what I am and come to terms with that, but nothing feels right. No one around me will hear a word I have to say, and I am forced to be this normal girl with no personality. Names and pronouns are used as weapons against me, and everyone attacked me when I cut my hair short a while back. I am letting it grow out again - I am tired of my family sneering at me. Kids and adults calling me nasty things in public. I'm just so. . .tired of not wanting to fit in, wanting to fit it, trying to fit in, and getting nowhere. I don't have anyone to say this to, because I'm just afraid of what they will say. I feel like I'm making a big deal out of it. I can't look in a mirror without getting angry at myself because I'm not as slim or as pretty or as nice as I should be. As I WANT to be. My whole crisis has ruined those around me, and I am doing as much damage to people as I am doing to myself. I try. I am trying. I don't want to die yet...that's what I keep telling myself. But do I? I don't know. I can't fix me. Or this mess. I need to stay strong, but I am cracking. How do I get out of this??
  5. so my partner and i are serious. his best friend will not stop hitting on them. they have set their boundaries, but he just keeps going. they have been friends for years, and my partner doesn’t want to cut off the friendship, but they are willing to do it because he isn’t respecting boundaries. he keeps sending them love letters in their first language. my partner has told me they like it when i’m possessive. i want to step in and talk to him and tell him to stop, but i don’t want to cross a line. any advice?
  6. So I just thought I would put this on a forum, but I've just ordered my third binder. It's a size larger than usual because I intend to use it for exercise and other activities like singing and swimming. My only concern is that I've heard that binders don't last long in water, but the company that made the binder (Spectrum) says it's made out of sporting material. Should I use the binder for swimming or not, because I might be fine just using the sports bras I've been using before or buying a better compression one and using this one just for swimming, and I don't want to ruin £38 immediately, but I also want more gender affirming swimwear?
  7. (Posting to a different section because I got no responses) So I am AFAB, trans and non-binary, and I have decided that in the future I will get top surgery and start dressing more androgynous/masculine. There’s just a few obstacles. First of all, my parents are transphobic, and I live in the same house as them, and probably will for a couple more years. I’m kinda scared of medically transitioning while living in the same house with them. Even when I do leave the house, I have this constant fear that one day, while I’m busy living my life, my parents will ask to see me again and I’ll have no response. I don’t hate my parents to the point where I’d disown them (even if they’re LGBTQ-phobic). Secondly, because of my gender, being genderfluid, my chest dysphoria fluctuates, making me question whether I should really get top surgery or not. I have considered other surgeries like vocal coaching and non-surgical options and I am undecided on them. Even figuring out what my new full name should be is hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?
  8. Do you ever feel like every day people put you in a box based on who they think you should be? It's not like I think I'm the only one or anything, but every day I feel trapped inside that box and I cant move an inch without scrutiny. It's not like I can come out to anyone, because I'm still figuring things out and my mom is homophobic. The shi**y thing about this is that I feel like everyone is so focused on what I should be...especially when I dont act like it. Especially when the conversation turns to a future partner and I just wanna tell people the truth but I cant because I cant live five more years of my life knowing no one will see me for who I am, no matter what I identity as. It's always a label like boy or girl or nonbinary. Lesbian or gay or... WHATEVER but cant we just move beyond those things and just accept people as people... I would say more but I think I said enough for one night. Sorry for the length I will hopefully do better next time
  9. I grew up in a traditional Christian family, so I didn’t allow myself to question my identity until about a year and a half ago. When I first realized that I probably wasn’t straight or cis, it scared the living heck out of me. After all, I wasn’t allowed to be anything other than cis and straight, or I wouldn’t be allowed through the gates of Heaven. For so long I felt guilty about who I was, like I was flawed in some way that I couldn’t control. But a few months ago I figured out that I don’t really believe in God, and let me tell you, I have never felt so light and free. Because of this, I can finally continue exploring my identity without this dark cloud of guilt hovering over my head. But now, everything that I thought I knew about my gender identity has simply drifted away, and it feels like I’m back at square one. I used to be so sure that I was nonbinary, but now I’m thinking that I might be a demiboy, or maybe I’m just a trans guy who likes feminine things. But what if I’m not? I mean, it seems like my gender identity just keeps changing with each season, so I’m not exactly sure what I am anymore. (I applaud you if you have read this far. It seems like my posts always end up turning into entire essays lol.) Any advice/kind words would be greatly appreciated!
  10. Ive know that i was trans (transmasc) since i was 11, but recently ive been a bit confused. I identify as a trans non-binary and use he/ze/they pronouns. Ive never worried about being misgenderd, cuz i live in a coutry where a lot of the language is gender neutral (still misgendering happens, but its a lot less). Only recently have i been confused, like when i was called someones boy best friend. It felt strange. Could it be im just not used to it? Calling myself a boy feels wrong but calling myself a person also doesnt seem right. It might just be that ive been misgenderd up until now and its my first time being accepted. Still id like to hear someone elses thoughts on this.
  11. Hi, Ive read your book and i’ve really been enjoying it. When i found out about this website i was super excited and wanted to check it out. i’ve been struggling with my gender a lot recently, and it’s been very overwhelming since i’ve just been starting secondary school. i know i’m young so i’m not really expected to be thinking about my gender or experimenting with it, but ever since i have been i’ve been super confused and anxious. i think im genderfluid but im also not sure. i came out to my parents as transgender (mtf) and im not to sure how they felt about it. ive recently got my period and it’s made me feel super bad about my body. im also developing boobs which i am not happy about. i know i don’t have to have a label just yet but i don’t like not knowing how i feel. it makes me feel very anxious and stressed about my body. can you give please me some advice?
  12. Hey guys i dont know how to put this and i am doing for the first time so i am sorry if i do anything wrong. Just a few months ago i had perfect life with awesome girlfriend and tons of friends and i was 100% sure i was straight, but we broke up and me stupid just decided that it will be best to be as asocial as possible which would not be such a big problem but it is already more than 6 months and i still can not talk to anyone no matter how hard i try and on top of that not a long time ago i started questioning my sexuality and gender too which just totaly broke me and i have no idea what to do. I will be glad for any help or advice i can get (Male,16y.o.)
  13. So I’m really drained right now of dysphoria which really isn’t doing a lot of good for me right now because I want to talk about how I’m feeling but my hands and brain won’t actually let me properly type and this is taking a lot of energy already. So I’m writing in note form, summarising what I’ve been thinking and feeling, especially over the last few days: - Feeling dysphoric because my parents wouldn’t accept me for who I am - Knowing I can’t come out so I have to get misgendered everyday - I use he/she/they pronouns but I hate the repetition and singular use of “she/her” pronouns because it’s my birth pronouns and I’m not a girl - Internalised enbyphobia as I feel invalid because of my parents’ beliefs, leading me to feel ashamed because I’m also internally and unintentionally invalidating other nonbinary people at times in the process - Denial. Surely I can’t be nonbinary? Where has this all come from as I was fine identifying as a girl before? I know this is dumb because the dysphoria and euphoria I feel is very much real. I’m not comfortable being a girl - Scared of what other people’s views on nonbinary people will be when I go to my new environment (college). What if the friendship group I get into doesn’t accept me when I come out? - Feeling wrong for using a new name before coming out as nonbinary. Also, what happens when I’m out in the street with parents and I could potentially bump into one of them and they address me by that name? Do I play it off as a nickname/joke name/inside joke between the group? - Haha, I also have to tell my tutor for my course about my new name which will mean I’ll have to come out to them immediately, as my birthname will probably be on the system, just so the other people on my course don’t get confused and I have to out myself to them. I’ve thought about writing it in a note, and I think I’ll go with that, as it won’t cause as much anxiety as me forcing myself to actually tell them face to face and ending up not doing it because it’s too anxiety-inducing. - What if everything at college goes downhill and I end up not telling people my name so I have to get deadnamed? So yeah, I’m glad I did put it all in note form because, as it turns out, there’s a lot. Also I’m less drained right now after getting it all out which is good.
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