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Found 10 results

  1. In 2022, there’s a lot going on, I know. There’s straight relationships, and there’s gay ones and there’s people who feel like they don’t even want love in their lives right now. I get it, as a teen who struggles to keep all their opinions to themself, too scared to hear other peoples opinions, it can be hard to figure out who you are. In early 2022, I found out that I’m demisexual, aceflux, and heterofliexible. And you’d probably think, well, she probably has everything figured out so it’s all happiness and smiles for her. Nope. Honestly, I don’t even know what I am at times, and my labels don’t even last forever-heck, I don’t even need a label to describe my sexuality and romantic orientation, but here I am, a queer teen who is caught in a string of my thoughts on myself and what other people think of me. Before I decided to be, well me, I faced a lot of pressure. As a 6th grader now figuring out the word “ straight” and “gay”, there was a time where my mind spun never endless circles asking, well, what am I? I never liked s3x as a person, even when I was little I was like, I don’t want to kiss people a lot in a relationship. I thought those were young kid thoughts, that they were going to go away. I was wrong, they are still here today, and in October of 2021, I thought I was ace for three months. My friend came out as Bi, and after that, I was like, no, I can’t be Ace, I haven’t even been in a relationship and I had no crush, if that makes any sense, the label was too much. Then, I discovered demisexuality, and it clicked. I had panic attacks though, putting thoughts in my mind saying that I was a terrible person, it was too early, and it took a couple months to get rid of those thoughts. In may, I added aceflux, and then heterofliexible. I always thought girls were cute, I should say, I first wanted to like them in second grade without even knowing what the name was called. Then those thoughts faded and came back at the perfect time. I liked boys more or felt more comfortable with them, but I just couldn’t be straight. The bi label was just too much for me, hear me out, heterofliexible is just easier for me. Some people don’t even know what it means, they are more used to the words, “ pan, poly, bi, lesbian, gay etc.” and I get a lot of questions online, and I’m fine with explaining to them my closeted identities. There was a point a couple weeks ago where I began questioning my gender, I knew I was a girl, but I thought I was something more. I used the term Demigirl for like three days, but really I was just a girl. I know there are so many people using different ways to describe their gender, and it can get really, really confusing for some. My tip is, just use what you would like for yourself, not what other people want to hear from you. If you want to be a girl, be a girl. If you want to be a boy, then be a boy. If you chose to be Agender, non binary, or whatever gender you feel like you are, then be it. There are no limits to who you are, it only reaches the end when you feel the thunder storm of negativity on yourself. Just remember that you have allies, some don’t have to be people you know, there are strangers that love you, and support you, and some hate. We are here for you if you need it, and in these years of learning, I am teaching my sister how to be an ally, and if I keep my identities, I’ll tell her. We are changing the world slowly as people, something I’d really like to see is people seeing people as just simply people, and for love to be just love. We are still working on it, but I have faith that everything will change with the help of the spirit of LGTBQIA+ Allies and it’s members. One day at a time. One more step to not peace, but at the world smiling, with everyone saying, “ I matter.” Be who you are. And if you are still figuring it out, then take your time. There is no rush. I’m in a good place right now with myself and I don’t want to lose it. I don’t have to solve the mystery of my completeness currently, everything will come when it is ready. God loves you for who you are, I get a lot of mean remarks on this, but it’s true. We are his own beautiful creations, no matter what. Be yourself, nobody can tell you who to be. From Alex.
  2. Hey, i've been really wanted to cut my hair for the longest time to a sort of "boyish" haircut and my mom won't allow me. I've cut my hair to a sort of similar length before and my mom hated it. She would look at me with disgust and when we were walking home from the salon she started saying stuff like "you look like a boy, your a girl not a boy" and other stuff like that but i cant remember all that well because it's been a while. But that experience made me cry a lot, and of course my mom said she was sorry and started saying how beautiful i am to make me feel better. Which is so annoying because i know she doesn't think that way. A little while after i got that haircut she didn't care about it, but made the occasional negative comment on it. So maybe if i get this haircut she'll hate it at first, and then get used to it?? i hope so at least . But yeah she wants me to grow out my hair and whenever i bring it up to her or argue about it to her she settles on letting my cut it after my graduation from school. It's a step towards the right direction but now i talk about cutting my hair sometimes and she just flat out says no. Maybe she said she would let me cut my hair later to shut me up... can someone help me figure out how to get my hair cut with my moms permission? i honestly don't care if my mom hates it i just want to cut it so bad because it would give me so much gender euphoria and it would make me love myself a lot more. btw my mom is homophobic and transphobic (obviously) This is the haircut i want, i made sure to have a picture of a fem person so my mom could recognize that girls can still look girlish with this haircut. I didnt send this picture to my mom yet so maybe i should?
  3. So I just thought I would put this on a forum, but I've just ordered my third binder. It's a size larger than usual because I intend to use it for exercise and other activities like singing and swimming. My only concern is that I've heard that binders don't last long in water, but the company that made the binder (Spectrum) says it's made out of sporting material. Should I use the binder for swimming or not, because I might be fine just using the sports bras I've been using before or buying a better compression one and using this one just for swimming, and I don't want to ruin £38 immediately, but I also want more gender affirming swimwear?
  4. (Posting to a different section because I got no responses) So I am AFAB, trans and non-binary, and I have decided that in the future I will get top surgery and start dressing more androgynous/masculine. There’s just a few obstacles. First of all, my parents are transphobic, and I live in the same house as them, and probably will for a couple more years. I’m kinda scared of medically transitioning while living in the same house with them. Even when I do leave the house, I have this constant fear that one day, while I’m busy living my life, my parents will ask to see me again and I’ll have no response. I don’t hate my parents to the point where I’d disown them (even if they’re LGBTQ-phobic). Secondly, because of my gender, being genderfluid, my chest dysphoria fluctuates, making me question whether I should really get top surgery or not. I have considered other surgeries like vocal coaching and non-surgical options and I am undecided on them. Even figuring out what my new full name should be is hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?
  5. Do you ever feel like every day people put you in a box based on who they think you should be? It's not like I think I'm the only one or anything, but every day I feel trapped inside that box and I cant move an inch without scrutiny. It's not like I can come out to anyone, because I'm still figuring things out and my mom is homophobic. The shi**y thing about this is that I feel like everyone is so focused on what I should be...especially when I dont act like it. Especially when the conversation turns to a future partner and I just wanna tell people the truth but I cant because I cant live five more years of my life knowing no one will see me for who I am, no matter what I identity as. It's always a label like boy or girl or nonbinary. Lesbian or gay or... WHATEVER but cant we just move beyond those things and just accept people as people... I would say more but I think I said enough for one night. Sorry for the length I will hopefully do better next time
  6. I grew up in a traditional Christian family, so I didn’t allow myself to question my identity until about a year and a half ago. When I first realized that I probably wasn’t straight or cis, it scared the living heck out of me. After all, I wasn’t allowed to be anything other than cis and straight, or I wouldn’t be allowed through the gates of Heaven. For so long I felt guilty about who I was, like I was flawed in some way that I couldn’t control. But a few months ago I figured out that I don’t really believe in God, and let me tell you, I have never felt so light and free. Because of this, I can finally continue exploring my identity without this dark cloud of guilt hovering over my head. But now, everything that I thought I knew about my gender identity has simply drifted away, and it feels like I’m back at square one. I used to be so sure that I was nonbinary, but now I’m thinking that I might be a demiboy, or maybe I’m just a trans guy who likes feminine things. But what if I’m not? I mean, it seems like my gender identity just keeps changing with each season, so I’m not exactly sure what I am anymore. (I applaud you if you have read this far. It seems like my posts always end up turning into entire essays lol.) Any advice/kind words would be greatly appreciated!
  7. Ive know that i was trans (transmasc) since i was 11, but recently ive been a bit confused. I identify as a trans non-binary and use he/ze/they pronouns. Ive never worried about being misgenderd, cuz i live in a coutry where a lot of the language is gender neutral (still misgendering happens, but its a lot less). Only recently have i been confused, like when i was called someones boy best friend. It felt strange. Could it be im just not used to it? Calling myself a boy feels wrong but calling myself a person also doesnt seem right. It might just be that ive been misgenderd up until now and its my first time being accepted. Still id like to hear someone elses thoughts on this.
  8. Hi, Ive read your book and i’ve really been enjoying it. When i found out about this website i was super excited and wanted to check it out. i’ve been struggling with my gender a lot recently, and it’s been very overwhelming since i’ve just been starting secondary school. i know i’m young so i’m not really expected to be thinking about my gender or experimenting with it, but ever since i have been i’ve been super confused and anxious. i think im genderfluid but im also not sure. i came out to my parents as transgender (mtf) and im not to sure how they felt about it. ive recently got my period and it’s made me feel super bad about my body. im also developing boobs which i am not happy about. i know i don’t have to have a label just yet but i don’t like not knowing how i feel. it makes me feel very anxious and stressed about my body. can you give please me some advice?
  9. Hey guys i dont know how to put this and i am doing for the first time so i am sorry if i do anything wrong. Just a few months ago i had perfect life with awesome girlfriend and tons of friends and i was 100% sure i was straight, but we broke up and me stupid just decided that it will be best to be as asocial as possible which would not be such a big problem but it is already more than 6 months and i still can not talk to anyone no matter how hard i try and on top of that not a long time ago i started questioning my sexuality and gender too which just totaly broke me and i have no idea what to do. I will be glad for any help or advice i can get (Male,16y.o.)
  10. So I’m really drained right now of dysphoria which really isn’t doing a lot of good for me right now because I want to talk about how I’m feeling but my hands and brain won’t actually let me properly type and this is taking a lot of energy already. So I’m writing in note form, summarising what I’ve been thinking and feeling, especially over the last few days: - Feeling dysphoric because my parents wouldn’t accept me for who I am - Knowing I can’t come out so I have to get misgendered everyday - I use he/she/they pronouns but I hate the repetition and singular use of “she/her” pronouns because it’s my birth pronouns and I’m not a girl - Internalised enbyphobia as I feel invalid because of my parents’ beliefs, leading me to feel ashamed because I’m also internally and unintentionally invalidating other nonbinary people at times in the process - Denial. Surely I can’t be nonbinary? Where has this all come from as I was fine identifying as a girl before? I know this is dumb because the dysphoria and euphoria I feel is very much real. I’m not comfortable being a girl - Scared of what other people’s views on nonbinary people will be when I go to my new environment (college). What if the friendship group I get into doesn’t accept me when I come out? - Feeling wrong for using a new name before coming out as nonbinary. Also, what happens when I’m out in the street with parents and I could potentially bump into one of them and they address me by that name? Do I play it off as a nickname/joke name/inside joke between the group? - Haha, I also have to tell my tutor for my course about my new name which will mean I’ll have to come out to them immediately, as my birthname will probably be on the system, just so the other people on my course don’t get confused and I have to out myself to them. I’ve thought about writing it in a note, and I think I’ll go with that, as it won’t cause as much anxiety as me forcing myself to actually tell them face to face and ending up not doing it because it’s too anxiety-inducing. - What if everything at college goes downhill and I end up not telling people my name so I have to get deadnamed? So yeah, I’m glad I did put it all in note form because, as it turns out, there’s a lot. Also I’m less drained right now after getting it all out which is good.
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