Coming out advice?

[Kalopsia]

Hi. I’m turning 18 soon and I want to come out to my mom. I’m so freaking terrified though. She’s always been pretty supportive of the lgbtq community, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna apply to me. I can still remember as a kid whenever I would say, “Okay, I need to tell you something serious.” her immediate response (while genuinely looking relieved and happy) when I was done was with whatever announcement I was making was always “Oh thank God, I thought you were gonna tell me you liked girls. I don’t think I could handle that today.”   …so she kinda knows? I think? She suspects it? And already knows she can’t handle the news? It’s happened multiple times. It’s like every time I open my mouth to say something serious she starts holding her breath. She’s the only family I have left, if she doesn’t accept me I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose her. How do I do this in a way that doesn’t leave her disgusted, or disappointed, or looking at my differently?

[illumi]

honestly i have no clue. since shes already reluctant about hearing it maybe just directly come out to her instead of taking it slow. but again you dont have to come out if you dont want to. its mot mandatory. unless it already caused you some kind of emotional distress then you should get it off your chest asap

[Overthinker22]

Because your 18 just say it bluntly. If she hasn't seen this coming then your mom doesn't really know you. trust me your mom most likely suspects it already.

[Kalopsia]

3 hours ago, sevan said:

honestly i have no clue. since shes already reluctant about hearing it maybe just directly come out to her instead of taking it slow. but again you dont have to come out if you dont want to. its mot mandatory. unless it already caused you some kind of emotional distress then you should get it off your chest asap

Yeah, I think it might be best to just outright say it? And I really want to, her approval means the world to me. But I also really don’t want to for the exact same reason. It means the world to me and I’m self aware enough to know that I’m gonna slowly fall apart if she disapproves. Also, -quick left turn here- It doesn’t help that my best friend (whom recently came out) has now started flirting with me. I’ve been in love with her for years now, and I want to date her and be happy and bring her home to meet my mom. I want Mom to walk me down the aisle someday, and be happy for me, and proud that I found someone to spend the rest of my life with. (Even if that person doesn’t end up being my best friend, but here’s to hoping.) I just feel so lost. And I’m kinda spiraling right now lol, sorry for ranting.

[Kalopsia]

3 hours ago, Overthinker22 said:

Because your 18 just say it bluntly. If she hasn't seen this coming then your mom doesn't really know you. trust me your mom most likely suspects it already.

I think she see’s it coming but doesn’t want to if that makes sense? She’s more in denial right now than I was (though middle school me did have quite the delusions of grandeur), and I just really want her to be supportive of me. 

Edited November 13, 2022 by KC
Typo

[emnma]

if youre able to move out or find somewhere safe to stay if she turns out not to be supportive, i would do it. I was fortunate enough to have parents who were supportive, but i know people who have been kicked out and have had to couch hop for weeks before being able to go back home because of legal reasons. I dropped hints to my family, at first kind of subtle but then really obvious. they werent very surprised when i told them, they just told me to stay safe and that it doesnt matter who i love, as long as they treat me right. she (your mom), may need some time to adjust to the fact that you may have a woman in your life instead of a man, but she'll come around, especially for her own daughter.

[Animallover299]

I don’t know much about coming out however I do know that - don’t be afraid to me who you are and If people can’t expect That then that’s there problem not yours

 

[omni]

On 11/12/2022 at 6:45 PM, Kalopsia said:

Hi. I’m turning 18 soon and I want to come out to my mom. I’m so freaking terrified though. She’s always been pretty supportive of the lgbtq community, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna apply to me. I can still remember as a kid whenever I would say, “Okay, I need to tell you something serious.” her immediate response (while genuinely looking relieved and happy) when I was done was with whatever announcement I was making was always “Oh thank God, I thought you were gonna tell me you liked girls. I don’t think I could handle that today.”   …so she kinda knows? I think? She suspects it? And already knows she can’t handle the news? It’s happened multiple times. It’s like every time I open my mouth to say something serious she starts holding her breath. She’s the only family I have left, if she doesn’t accept me I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose her. How do I do this in a way that doesn’t leave her disgusted, or disappointed, or looking at my differently?

you should do it if she's supportive what do u have to lose u only gain

[Luie]

On 11/13/2022 at 2:45 AM, Kalopsia said:

Hi. I’m turning 18 soon and I want to come out to my mom. I’m so freaking terrified though. She’s always been pretty supportive of the lgbtq community, but I’m not sure if it’s gonna apply to me. I can still remember as a kid whenever I would say, “Okay, I need to tell you something serious.” her immediate response (while genuinely looking relieved and happy) when I was done was with whatever announcement I was making was always “Oh thank God, I thought you were gonna tell me you liked girls. I don’t think I could handle that today.”   …so she kinda knows? I think? She suspects it? And already knows she can’t handle the news? It’s happened multiple times. It’s like every time I open my mouth to say something serious she starts holding her breath. She’s the only family I have left, if she doesn’t accept me I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose her. How do I do this in a way that doesn’t leave her disgusted, or disappointed, or looking at my differently?

Heyy @Kalopsia, Luie here, one of the support mentors. Wanted to check in, how have you been?