come out Comeing out to the remainder of my family (Who I do not think are accepting)

[ArtemisArt]

I have come out to most of my family that I see semi-often, but now I have come to the issue of comeing out to my grandma and grandpa.  If I could, I would wait a few more years, maybe untill I left for collage, but I have recently started to embrace myself more than ever before, and have been going to pride events and getting to know more about this community that I am part of.  Now, I know my grandma is ok with me having LGBTQ+ friends, even though she seemed a bit sceptical about my non-binary 'best freind'.  The real issue is that she is the music teacher at my school, and rumors have receltly started going around that I am gay.  She is quite litteraly one of the only people in the school that does not know.  All of the teachers know, most of the students, even some of the other staff members.  Part of me wonders if she aleady knows, as I have not exactly been sublte about it.  There is the flirting with one of my best freinds who is also a girl, to my constand wearing of a jean jacket and bandana (of which I have been told by all of my freinds is one of the most gay looks they have ever seen)  to the love is love pin on said jean jacket, to the pride sticker on my water bottle and the pride flag in my locker, to the fact that my aunt and uncle litteraly took me to a pride festavel while my grandma grampa and I where visting.  It is starting to feel off, her not knowing, yet I am scared of how she will react, as she is my ride for the thirty minutes home from school.  Now, there is the chance I can hold it out until the end of the year when she retires, but even then it is getting hard not to talk about my 'best freind' who I am really dating.  (Which really suprises me that she has not seemed to figure it out as they came to my play and was very flirty and hand hold-y with me)  Speaking of plays, that brings up my next dilema, I am now going to be in a play directed by a well known in out area out gay actor and puppeteer (for how anti-gay anti-trans, and full of bigoted people this part of my state is, is really impressive)  I would love to be able to fully embrace that part of myself when talking to people after the play, as it is part of what his plays are known for and I am a girl playing Petter Pan, sure that is how it is done traditionaly, but around here you typicaly expect a boy to be playing him (this will be my second time with the part)  I am almost certan people will ask questions about that.  Comeing out to my grandpa is eaqualy as scary, if not more so.  We have always been close,  everyone was mad when my mom got pregent, her senior year of highschool, yet when I was born the attitudes changed.  It is always said I am the favortie, out of the children and grandchildren.  Even when my grandma really wants something he grills, and wants it in the next week, they make me ask.  He helped me become great at fishing, and has told me some of his grilling sectets.  I do not want this to change, yet that is my fear.  I love them both, and know they both love me, but it is scary to come out when they have shown signes of not accepting before, even this week I walked into his shop after school to say hi to find Fox news playing and anti-LGBTQ+ segment, and while it could of been him just not willing to change the channal or him not really watching it, I feel watching Fox News itself is a warning to be catius about comeing out to that person.  I do not want the evening eating good food, the summer camping trips, the Fourth of July celebrations, and the overall amazing relation ship I have with my grandparents to dissapre, to be shatterd because I do not like boys.  Please give me any advice you might have, it will be greatly appriceated, just know, there is a 50-75% chance I chicken out and do nothing.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I just want to start by saying how amazing it is to see how you're embracing your authentic self in so many ways; it takes a lot of courage to do that, and it seems like you're really living your best life in so many areas which is brilliant. How does it for you being authentic in those spaces? I hope it is bringing you a lot of joy; I imagine it is.

It's interesting that you have wondered about whether your grandma knows already or not, because as I was reading your topic, I thought that maybe she already has an idea and is just waiting for you to tell her. It seems like you're pretty out and proud in school which she has likely to have noticed; what do you think? It really sounds like you're ready to take this next step, and the thing is, even if your grandparents have a tricky reaction at first, my experience of supporting people who have been in this position tells me that most of the time, it eventually passes. The best thing to remember is that your grandparents love you very much and love really is a strong factor in helping people to open up their minds and change their views. What do you think? 

[ArtemisArt]

Hey, it has deffinantly been nice being so authentic to myself, and I have been enjoying it.  I will admit I was quiet tired when I wrote that, and I made it sound morel like I think she knows than I actualy do.  Every one of my friends are carful to cut any talk of my sexuality or partner when we pass her room, or when she walked over to our lunch table.  They have actually gotten a scheem together to have one of them come out as gay to her  (even through she is not)  To see how she reacts, before telling her it was not the truth.  (I have told them to please not do this, but they are unpriditable at best) I agree that they will love me no matter what, but it scares me to think about anything changing like that while we live so close and see eachother so often.  I am really thinking waiting for me to go to collage is the best bet, and telling them before I leave or while I am vistiting, and then I will be older, so there is less of a chance as it being chalked up to 'just a phase'  or  ' you will change your mind when you meet the right boy'.  Another thing I am worried is that they might blame it on my friends, as I am not exactly secret that most of my friends are in the LGBTQ+ community.  I do not know much on thier political views, but I have heard them make some comments that give me a rough idea, and that consernes me that they might at least partly agree with the whole 'groomers' thing, and that that is why there are so many out LGBTQ+ individuals right now.  (Instead of it being the safest it has almost ever been to be out, and like.... look at mythology, of many diffrent civilizations, there were numerus LGBTQ+ couples and gendernoncomforimng indivuduals)  I know that my fears are problable for nothing, but I have discovered that I am nothing if not anxuise over a lot of things, ecpesialy with loosing family in anyway.  

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It sounds like you pretty much have a good answer already, which is to wait until you go to college. You have to do what is right for you and your situation. You know your life the best and what needs to happen to make things as easy as possible, so my advice is to trust that you are your own expert in this and to follow your gut feeling. What do you think?

Also, I just want you to know that for a lot of people, there can be a period after coming out where there are awkward questions like you pointed out, such as how it might be a phase and that you might change your mind. This usually disappears after a while and it usually comes down to people just needing time to process and come to terms with your news.