What's my real sexuality??

[Niharika bakakaka]

About two months ago i was talking to my friend on a call and suddenly had this weird tensed feeling and I cut the call. After that I started thinking am I a lesbian. But that term didn't quite settle down perfectly with me because I've ALWAYS been very attracted to guys and it's deep and this feeling keeps fluctuating sometimes I feel like I'm bi sometimes I don't. But bi also doesn't quite sit with me perfectly. And my honest opinion no offense but I don't want to be a bi or lesbian and I keep crying on the thought if I'm one I've never felt attracted to girl but then when I think about this thought of liking girls it's more like I believe it and keep trying to make my self attracted to girls and then the attraction to boys keeps decreasing slowly. But when I won't think abvout it at all nothing happens I'm not attracted to girls anymore and back on simpingfor guys. I really want to know what to do because there's a guy I have a slight crush on and I don't want to continue liking him with this doubt in my head feels very unfair to him. I'm not sure if it's a hardcore crush or just because he's nice and bold and ok ahem cute. I'm confused about how a crush feels too I really don't know anything.

I've take alot of quizzes and read alot of article's. Many quizzes say I'm heterosexual. But whats with the this attraction with girls is it just a phase, sexual fluidity or what? Even when I was a kid I never felt attracted towards girl I just felt comfortable and friendly around them. 

Help me please ?

15 year old girl

Edited December 7, 2021 by Niharika Garg

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Welcome to our community - I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I think it sounds like you're feeling quite confused and overwhelmed at the moment, is that fair to say? Questioning your sexuality can be quite a hard period to get through, and we usually want all of the answers immediately. However, getting to know yourself can take a while, and there's no fast and easy way, it just happens naturally. I think it's important to go with the flow and take your time to work through this, as you might stress yourself out otherwise; what do you think?

I'm wondering, if your friend asked you what a crush is, what do you think you'd say?

[Niharika bakakaka]

25 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Welcome to our community - I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I think it sounds like you're feeling quite confused and overwhelmed at the moment, is that fair to say? Questioning your sexuality can be quite a hard period to get through, and we usually want all of the answers immediately. However, getting to know yourself can take a while, and there's no fast and easy way, it just happens naturally. I think it's important to go with the flow and take your time to work through this, as you might stress yourself out otherwise; what do you think?

I'm wondering, if your friend asked you what a crush is, what do you think you'd say?

Hey monsoon

Yes I'm very stressed and overwhelmed about this I cry about this topic at night because I don't want to like girls nor have i ever felt this way but idk how this come up and the friend I was talking to is also questioning her sexuality.

I do wish to stop thinking about this but I want answers to help myself and the guy I like. If my friend asks what a crush is I'd say it's when you're comfortable around the person you are yourself you want him to touch you and protect you handsome cute and bold can cry and be himself in front of me and has good hair and voice.

 

 

 

Edited December 7, 2021 by Niharika bakakaka

[Monsoon]

On 12/7/2021 at 9:36 AM, Niharika bakakaka said:

Hey monsoon

Yes I'm very stressed and overwhelmed about this I cry about this topic at night because I don't want to like girls nor have i ever felt this way but idk how this come up and the friend I was talking to is also questioning her sexuality.

I do wish to stop thinking about this but I want answers to help myself and the guy I like. If my friend asks what a crush is I'd say it's when you're comfortable around the person you are yourself you want him to touch you and protect you handsome cute and bold can cry and be himself in front of me and has good hair and voice.

Hey there,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling very stressed and overwhelmed; questioning your sexuality is really confusing and can lead to a lot of emotional conflict, but I'm glad that you're being open with us about how you're feeling, as even just talking about it can help to take some of that weight off your shoulders. How have you found it opening up to us here?

Also, thank you for describing what a crush is. I'm wondering, how does that compare to the way you feel about girls? Also, would you like to tell me more about what's going on with the guy you like?

[Niharika bakakaka]

Thanks dude it feels a bit better to talk it out a girl crush idk I've never had one it's just one fine day I felt this werid feeling about girls but before that I've never had a crush on any girl. This guy I am not sure tho I have a crush on is very very nice he teases me he's kind and bad at the same time he's cute and naughty at the same time and is a topper and is there when I am nit in a good state tho I haven't told him about these bisexual tendencies. No offense but one if the reason I don't want to be bi is that what if he won't like me anymore and loses his intrest in me? I just fund girls attractive I don't want to spend my life with them or have any sexual intercourse with them I don't know what's going on sometimes I'm sure I'm straight sometimes I'm not 

I'm sure I'm the most confused person I'm my country rn .

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Ah, okay. It sounds like you're thinking about how potentially being bisexual may have a negative impact on your life. I guess I'm wondering, if he did feel negatively about it, do you think he deserves to be in your life? Also, it's completely okay to be confused. Many people question their sexuality, and it's really good that you're being open about it. I know it might not seem like it now, but it will pass, it just takes time and experience. What do you think?

[Niharika bakakaka]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, okay. It sounds like you're thinking about how potentially being bisexual may have a negative impact on your life. I guess I'm wondering, if he did feel negatively about it, do you think he deserves to be in your life? Also, it's completely okay to be confused. Many people question their sexuality, and it's really good that you're being open about it. I know it might not seem like it now, but it will pass, it just takes time and experience. What do you think?

I think he does everyone has their opinion and rn were teens sooner or later he'll realise that these things are pretty normal but most prolly he won't take it in a negative way that it if I'm a sure shot bi. I really hope this passes because when I see a girl I might find her attractive or pretty it a bit tingly feeling but I don't want to date her or that kiss her immediately feeling never has come so yes.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, exactly. I think that some people grow up in a way where their family has certain views that are quite negative towards some groups of people, like LGBTQ+, and they then up picking up these views. However, once they come into contact with people who have different identities/sexualities, they often change their minds and become more accepting and open. What do you think? 

Also, I'm just wondering, how would it feel if these feelings towards girls didn't go away? What if they don't pass? 

[Niharika bakakaka]

I'm not like pretty sure idk but dating a girl to me doesn't fit to me like idk even rn when I think about guys it's lik weird but dating a girl idk I'm just not feeling that full thing it's like something is missing or something is incomplete. If these feelings don't pass away I might experiment but that is like very very less likely to happen.

Hey monsoon thanks for helping me out you're really making me feel good day by day thanks dude.

Umm is it normal to be sexually attracted to girls when you're in puberty? Or for straight girls?

Arigato.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear that you're finding our conversation helpful :)

I think that if the feelings do carry on, then yeah, maybe see if you can explore them a little further and figure out what they mean for you, your life, and your identity. What do you think? With being attracted to girls, this is completely normal regardless of whatever your identity is and what stage of life you're in. I think that a lot of people can experience sexual orientation confusion at some point, and it's completely normal. What do you think? 

[Niharika bakakaka]

17 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear that you're finding our conversation helpful :)

I think that if the feelings do carry on, then yeah, maybe see if you can explore them a little further and figure out what they mean for you, your life, and your identity. What do you think? With being attracted to girls, this is completely normal regardless of whatever your identity is and what stage of life you're in. I think that a lot of people can experience sexual orientation confusion at some point, and it's completely normal. What do you think? 

But I don't want them to continue it's like deep in my heart j still feel girls only make me make them love in a platonic way even these days when I thinking about all of this I get dreams of guys my crush and all a dream of a girl has happened only once in my whole life and that wasn't with me with some other girl. These feelings I really don't want them to continue. Like sexuality attraction there it is, but when it comes down to dating a girl no I don't want to do that nor do I wanna have any intercourse with girls. Idk what's going on.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I just want to say that it's okay to not know what's going on; plenty of people experience this kind of confusion, and it's a completely normal part of understanding who you are. I can see that you don't want them to continue, but I think that those feelings are there for a reason, and it's important to allow yourself the space to let them in and see what they're all about. I think that by pushing them away, it can then take longer to figure out your identity and can end up making the process much more stressful. What do you think? 

[Niharika bakakaka]

On 12/13/2021 at 2:38 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I just want to say that it's okay to not know what's going on; plenty of people experience this kind of confusion, and it's a completely normal part of understanding who you are. I can see that you don't want them to continue, but I think that those feelings are there for a reason, and it's important to allow yourself the space to let them in and see what they're all about. I think that by pushing them away, it can then take longer to figure out your identity and can end up making the process much more stressful. What do you think? 

Its been pretty long I've given these feelings enough space and they made me cry everything and the only conclusion I've reached is that yes I do like boys and I'm sure of that and girls maybe make me feel a bit attracted to them but it's nothing big at all. I prefer the platonic relationship over a romantic or sexual one.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

From what you’ve said there, it sounds like you might have your main answer for now. What do you think? Also, thank you for telling me about what kind of relationship you’d prefer. What do you like more about platonic relationships compared to the other two? :)