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  1. I've always thought I was your typical straight guy, all my friends were straight and I went to a very heteronormative all boys' high school for a while, so we basically talked about girls a lot of the time. I used to look at other guys and imagine scenarios hanging out with them, or thinking they were attractive. I thought this was normal for ages but my friends gave me weird looks and disagreed when I finally decided to bring it up. As I got a little older, I started crushing on one of my guy friends and even had a dream about kissing him, which scared the shit out of me. I'd always assumed I was 100% straight - I've always had crushes on girls and my only ever relationship had been with a girl. I thought it was just a weird psychological kind of thing and ended up isolating myself from him. I tried to pretend us falling out of contact was a natural thing, but I don't think it was. I lost all my friends, and I convinced myself I was in the wrong. It was impossible to be social, I couldn’t be around them - around him - without my head swimming. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I was scared. I moved to a co-ed school for my last year of high school, where the LGBTQ+ community was way more accepted. I found it really hard to make friends with the typical 'straight nerds' I'd been hanging out with all my life prior to that point, and ended up falling into a group of artsy students who were all part of the LGBTQ+ community. I didn't think I'd be able to hang out with them, as I didn't have much in common with any of them. The opposite happened. I ended up being 'adopted' into the group as their 'pet straight dude' and it was a really honest and rewarding relationship with all of them. They were very different than I was used to, but eventually that became a good thing, and I regret I only had a year to be… more honest with myself around them? I never asked them about my sporadic attraction to guys because at the time, I was still 100% convinced that was just a confusion and that I was very much straight. Recently I moved away from home in New Zealand to the UK: most of my parents’ family is over here, and I’m planning to go to university here in September. I recently found out that Netflix were releasing a show called Heartstopper that a lot of my friends back home in New Zealand were posting about on Instagram and recommending. I watched it the night it came out and it kind of… unlocked something? I’ve always been a sucker for romance, but this was different. Watching the first ‘kiss scene’ I was like ‘oh shit, I am a lot gayer than I thought I was’ and I don’t know how to feel about it. I haven’t had a relationship since the one time I dated a girl in Year 9 - nearly five years ago. Is this just a side-effect of not having a proper relationship? Am I just projecting this thing for guys onto myself out of loneliness? I still like girls, I think. I haven’t had an actual crush in two years, but I’m still attracted to girls physically. I’ve not told this to anyone I know. I don’t know where this has come from or where I stand. I don’t even know what this feeling is called! I don’t think I’m gay, but I am honestly not sure anymore. Just… throwing this anonymously onto the Internet in the hope somebody will read it, or maybe even help me understand what is happening to me. Also, Heartstopper is a fantastic show. I absolutely recommend it. Thanks in advance, Jeb
  2. I have only dated and been sexually involved with men my whole life. I have always found women attractive, but I don’t think sexually attractive. I have kissed women a few times and it was nice. I’m having trouble determining how I feel, which I know a complete stranger can’t do for me. I’m physically attracted to both men and women, but only sexually attracted to men.. I know this is normal in most cases, but just would like some in-site! Thank you :) my name is Hannah btw (she, her)
  3. Hi! My name is Jess and I'm from the UK. My pronouns are either she/her or she/them (I'm not sure yettt). I love nature and animals, I like to crochet, I love music (indie and rock) and I practice electric guitar and bass in a beginner band. I don't have any pets currently but I'd love to have some :). I'm here because I'm confused (hence the username haha) about my sexuality and a little bit about my pronouns and I think it would be nice to talk to people about it and any shared interests! Thank you :)
  4. hii! i'm a girl and i've always thought i was straight up until now but recently i think i've been developing feelings for this one girl. we only recently got to work with each other in various events and activities and i've slowly realized the feelings i have towards her right now are feelings i would typically get for any guy crush. to be honest i'm not even sure what i'm feeling right now or if i simply like her as a person, but she's such a wonderful person and i really enjoy spending time with her. i look forward to her texts and worry if she seems tired or stressed or upset and feel a hint of jealousy (?) if she seems really close to other people. i honestly don't even know how to label it right now and i'm really confused. could it just be a passing thing or is it a start to a new realization? how do i even label what i'm feeling right now? and what should i do to get closer to her? does anyone have similar experiences and how they dealt with it? thank you!
  5. Ever since I met my current friend group in September they have dropped hints that they thought I was bisexual, or queer in general. I always vehemently denied their assertions and it frankly made me angry that they felt they knew me better than I know myself. Then, on Saturday night I got drunk with this friend group and I started flirting with girls at a club which was unusual for me. Normally I would be more interested in flirting with guys but I had just gotten out of a situationship with a guy and I really didn't want to talk to any more men. It felt right to flirt with girls, mind you I was drunk, but at the same time I was embarrassed that I wanted to do it at all. The other thing is that since arriving at university I haven't enjoyed any sexual experiences I've had with men. I thought it was normal to dislike things like kissing until I opened up to my friends and they told me they like kissing even with boys they don't find to be extremely attractive. That definitely got me thinking about my sexuality and whether its more complicated than I initially anticipated. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I definitely want to take a break from talking to men but I also don't know how to figure everything else out. My friends are super supportive but I'm just not there yet, I still feel so overwhelmed.
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