Stuck in a situationship?

[Rovianova_567]

Not sure about the relationship I am having with a guy I am dating. We nearly talk everyday and go on actual dates with each other. We even act like a couple in public with holding hands and kissing. We both admitted that we weren't sure if we wanted to be in a relationship but we both really like each other. 

Edited September 15, 2021 by Rovianova_567
mispelling

[Monsoon]

Hey @Rovianova_567

It sounds like you're getting on really well with eachother and having a great time. How does it feel when you're together? It's interesting that you aren't sure if you want to be in a relationship, and I'm wondering, what is holding you back? 

[Rovianova_567]

It feels very comforting to me and nice. Well what's holding me back is managing school and work at the same time with school activities. I'm not sure if I can handle a relationship at the same time.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Aww, it sounds like you're having a great time with them

I think that if something is really worth it, then you will be surprised what you can actually make work. Do you think that you could balance it all? 

[Rovianova_567]

I would like to think that I can balance it but recently he told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship because of school and work. He admitted that he didn't want to hurt me at all. Not sure what I should do.

[Monsoon]

12 hours ago, Rovianova_567 said:

I would like to think that I can balance it but recently he told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship because of school and work. He admitted that he didn't want to hurt me at all. Not sure what I should do.

Hey,

Ah, okay. How did it feel when he said he didn't want to be in a relationship because of school and work? I'm wondering, have you told him that you think you can balance it? I remember you saying that you both really like each other, and I guess that if you want it to work, then you will find a way of making it happen despite having school and work to think about. 

[Rovianova_567]

It felt a little upsetting but I understandable since I am also a student and working. I did tell him that I can balance it.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I noticed that it's been a couple of weeks since since you first came to us, and I just wanted to know how everything is going with him at the moment? What happened when you said you can balance it? 

[Rovianova_567]

Hello again, As in an update we have decided to stay casual with each other due to our ongoing busy schedules. We knew that the timing wasn't right and that it is the best option is to stay as close friends that like spending time with each other especially when one is feeling down and upset. I'll see how this goes but for now it is okay with me with being casual with him. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear that you're okay with being casual, and do keep us updated with it all. How is everything else for you at the moment? Would you like support with anything? 

[Rovianova_567]

Lately it has been stressful for me to manage my stress with schoolwork due to the overwheming amount of homework because I was worried about this situation. I am also experiencing bullying (but not directly in front of my face) because I was team leader of my group project with these other girls. where half of them aren't doing the work. Somehow I had to apologize about being harsh on them when really it is mainly their fault. I feel as though my life is a mess.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling stressed and like your life is a mess at the moment. I'm wondering, how do you usually manage your stress? What kind of things do you like to do to calm down? Here is a support guide on this which you might find helpful: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/101-ultimate-ways-chill-reduce-stress/ 

Also, that's a shame about the bullying. Is there anyone you can tell who might be able to help? 

 

[Rovianova_567]

I usually manage my stress with talking with a  friend , playing with my dog, listening to music, or working out. Other ways I like to calm down it to go for a drive and go to the beach/mountains., dance and sing, Thank you for the Reduce Stress guide. As for the bullying, I have told my older sister to help me get back up on my feet and realize that it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't take it to heart. 

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It's great to hear about how you manage stress. I like to ask people what helps them because when people can identify how to support themselves, it is more powerful than someone else recommending things to do, and it's more likely for people to follow their own advice than that of someone elses. What do you think? Also, did you find the chat with your sister helpful? 

[Rovianova_567]

 After talking with my sister, I was helpful and supportive of her but the stress is too much where I am crying everytime I study. There's so much to do in under a short amount of time to memorize everything. Otherwise I will fail my classes and will extend my time in school. I am so overwhelmed that I think it is impossible by the large amount of things to study and find it hard to breathe.

[Monsoon]

Hey @Rovianova_567

I'm sorry to hear that you are crying every time you study. It sounds like you're under a lot of stress right now. Despite how upset you are when you're studying, are you managing to make good progress with what you're doing? I'm wondering, what's working well when it comes to your studying at the moment? 

[Rovianova_567]

I'm making slow and steady progress in terms of studying and now planning to talk with a therapist to combat ways to manage stress better. So far I have tried doing standards, repeating things in order and starting over again from the top, and now I'm learning to use Memory Palace where you would imagine a room and place a term and definition to a certain object in the room and so as reference I can refer back to the "room" to jog my memory

 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

How are you feeling today?

All of that sounds great. From what you've said, it sounds like you have a clear method for studying and plenty of strategies to try out. I'm wondering, did you have a look at the link I sent you earlier? If so, which strategies do you think could help? 

[Rovianova_567]

Hi, thanks for asking about how I am feeling.

I am feeling still a bit mentally and physically tired because of my lack of sleep and workload. I did have a look at the link you have sent earlier and the strategies I think could help is to watch something funny,  made honey tea (since I recently became sick),  danced my heart out with music, called an old friend to catch up and support her, played with my dogs, and organized my desk area.  I plan to also visit some friends over the weekend and to go an  date. :) In the meantime, I am working on sleeping earlier, taking more naps, drinking more water, and learning to avoid negativity.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

It's lovely to hear about all of the things you are trying to help you through this. I'm wondering, why don't you try them for a couple of weeks and then let us know how you're feeling at the end of it? :) 

 

[Rovianova_567]

Hi,

That sounds like a good plan! I'll put up an update within the next few weeks. :D

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Rovianova_567 said:

Hi,

That sounds like a good plan! I'll put up an update within the next few weeks. :D

Hey there,

Great; we look forward to hearing it. Would you like support with anything else at the moment?