Coming out

[jjk]

I'm out to my friends (Gay, started coming out since June 2021 with the help of red wine) a few family members but not the main ones of mum and dad. I've got a FWB and unsure if it's getting slightly more than that or not. I'm obviously wanting to tell my parents but I'm so scared with how and when. They always seem busy, and whilst I reckon my mum will be accepting, I doubt my dad will take it well. I've had a few events making me consider doing it, I've realised life is short after all but I just don't know where to start. I've tried chatting with friends and the FWB, he's been through it and is happily out and proud. I was crying on his shoulder a few weeks ago about it all (I rarely cry so this was a big step and showed me it was really starting to effect me). I feel like I'm getting to the point of wanting to be out and free but the doubts of my parent's reactions always hold me back, I don't want any negativity yet it seems I just can't face saying "Mum, Dad, I'm gay". I'm in a decent place, full time job etc but I just want this final part of my life to be revealed so I no longer feel the weight on my shoulders when I walk in the house. I know it's probably me overthinking things. Opinions? Anyone got any ideas how to start the conversation in a neutral way? I'd like to be out to them before Christmas then I can start 2023 in a better place (hopefully). But the fear is the worst bit.

Edited November 12, 2022 by jjk

[Monsoon]

On 11/12/2022 at 10:20 PM, jjk said:

I'm out to my friends (Gay, started coming out since June 2021 with the help of red wine) a few family members but not the main ones of mum and dad. I've got a FWB and unsure if it's getting slightly more than that or not. I'm obviously wanting to tell my parents but I'm so scared with how and when. They always seem busy, and whilst I reckon my mum will be accepting, I doubt my dad will take it well. I've had a few events making me consider doing it, I've realised life is short after all but I just don't know where to start. I've tried chatting with friends and the FWB, he's been through it and is happily out and proud. I was crying on his shoulder a few weeks ago about it all (I rarely cry so this was a big step and showed me it was really starting to effect me). I feel like I'm getting to the point of wanting to be out and free but the doubts of my parent's reactions always hold me back, I don't want any negativity yet it seems I just can't face saying "Mum, Dad, I'm gay". I'm in a decent place, full time job etc but I just want this final part of my life to be revealed so I no longer feel the weight on my shoulders when I walk in the house. I know it's probably me overthinking things. Opinions? Anyone got any ideas how to start the conversation in a neutral way? I'd like to be out to them before Christmas then I can start 2023 in a better place (hopefully). But the fear is the worst bit.

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us about this. It's completely normal to feel fearful in this situation. It can make us feel really vulnerable when we reveal this part of our lives, but remember, you're in a good position, and if it doesn't go how you planned, you have a support network around you to help you get through it. I'm wondering, even if your dad doesn't take it well, what's the worst that could happen? Could he eventually come around? Most parents do really, and that's because the strong love they have for their child helps them to be more open minded.