Bullying

[Treacle 246]

I've got a meeting with my head of year and the school nurse again on Monday to talk about what will be the next step we should take on. And also whats the next step with my sister will be because she has been making me feel really emotional lately. 

[Aurora]

On 1/13/2023 at 6:07 PM, Treacle 246 said:

I've got a meeting with my head of year and the school nurse again on Monday to talk about what will be the next step we should take on. And also whats the next step with my sister will be because she has been making me feel really emotional lately. 

Hi there, how did your meeting go today? I hope it went well and that you've been able to agree on the next steps on what needs to happen now. 

I'm sorry to hear that your sister had also been making you feel emotional lately. I would imagine that that must be a lot for you to deal with, especially with everything that's been going on at school. Would you like to tell me a bit more about what's been going on with your sister? 

[Treacle 246]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, how did your meeting go today? I hope it went well and that you've been able to agree on the next steps on what needs to happen now. 

I'm sorry to hear that your sister had also been making you feel emotional lately. I would imagine that that must be a lot for you to deal with, especially with everything that's been going on at school. Would you like to tell me a bit more about what's been going on with your sister? 

Hi Aurora 

The meeting went well and we agreed on having one to one meetings three times a week which will help alot with me and my mental health. 

Yes it is a lot to deal with my sister but I am starting to feel better. 

This is the background of what happened a few years ago. 

it happened 4 years ago, my sister decided to move out a year later she decided to listen to the lies about my mum from our families she twisted the truth that she got told from mum into lies she then tried to get me to join her side. like always she told me lies about my mum which I nearly believed but I knew what she was like with lies so I didn't believe her. she contacted me throughout the years we did answer messages but like always she told lies and she was being manipulative with me and trying to get me to turn on my mum. I didn't believe her but throughout the years of her contacting me I know now not to let her contact me or even speak to me due to everything she has put me through like selfharming in year 8 and year 9. she made me lose my confidence and when she does contact me it makes me feel worse throughout the day and she will be on my mind for a couple of days which leads to me being overwhelmed and anxious about everything during the day and when she does contact me some of the time I feel like contacting her but I then remembered when she contacted me before she would tell lies she won't ask about how I am and how I'm coping with school. it would mostly be about her. when we did use to message eachother it was always me who messages first. everytime we tried to meet up she says the same day something has come up or she can't meet anymore. so I've basically just given up with my sister because she doesn't want to meet me she doesn't want to see me. and when we try to meet up I ask if it will be alright to have someone there with me but she saids no and then sayd I can't meet. the reasons why I given up with my sister is because she tells lies non stop.she's too busy to meet up.she won't let me have anyone there when we try to meet up.she only tries to contact me at the beginning of a new term of school or a new year or a birthday or on a holiday/half term which then makes me feel anxious or overwhelmed the day I go back to school after half term or after my birthday. she also ignores me on the street when I'm with my mum.  

I don't know why it has gone like this 

 

 

 

 

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora 

The meeting went well and we agreed on having one to one meetings three times a week which will help alot with me and my mental health. 

Yes it is a lot to deal with my sister but I am starting to feel better. 

This is the background of what happened a few years ago. 

it happened 4 years ago, my sister decided to move out a year later she decided to listen to the lies about my mum from our families she twisted the truth that she got told from mum into lies she then tried to get me to join her side. like always she told me lies about my mum which I nearly believed but I knew what she was like with lies so I didn't believe her. she contacted me throughout the years we did answer messages but like always she told lies and she was being manipulative with me and trying to get me to turn on my mum. I didn't believe her but throughout the years of her contacting me I know now not to let her contact me or even speak to me due to everything she has put me through like selfharming in year 8 and year 9. she made me lose my confidence and when she does contact me it makes me feel worse throughout the day and she will be on my mind for a couple of days which leads to me being overwhelmed and anxious about everything during the day and when she does contact me some of the time I feel like contacting her but I then remembered when she contacted me before she would tell lies she won't ask about how I am and how I'm coping with school. it would mostly be about her. when we did use to message eachother it was always me who messages first. everytime we tried to meet up she says the same day something has come up or she can't meet anymore. so I've basically just given up with my sister because she doesn't want to meet me she doesn't want to see me. and when we try to meet up I ask if it will be alright to have someone there with me but she saids no and then sayd I can't meet. the reasons why I given up with my sister is because she tells lies non stop.she's too busy to meet up.she won't let me have anyone there when we try to meet up.she only tries to contact me at the beginning of a new term of school or a new year or a birthday or on a holiday/half term which then makes me feel anxious or overwhelmed the day I go back to school after half term or after my birthday. she also ignores me on the street when I'm with my mum.  

I don't know why it has gone like this 

Hi Treacle, thank you for explaining your situation with your sister some more. From what you've been telling me it sounds like you've been let down by your sister in the past and your current relationship you have with her is having a negative impact on your wellbeing. Is that right? Do you mind me asking, have you always had a difficult relationship with your sister or was there a time where the two of you got on well and were supportive of each other?  It's interesting to hear that she doesn't want you to bring anyone else along when the two of you have arranged to meet us. Can you think of a reason why that may be?

I'm wondering, what do you think would be the most important thing that would need to change for you to feel good about meeting/talking to your sister? 

I'm really glad to hear that you will be having one to one meetings three times a week at school. I would imagine that you can really do with having the space to talk to someone. Do you know who the meetings will be with? 

[Treacle 246]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi Treacle, thank you for explaining your situation with your sister some more. From what you've been telling me it sounds like you've been let down by your sister in the past and your current relationship you have with her is having a negative impact on your wellbeing. Is that right? Do you mind me asking, have you always had a difficult relationship with your sister or was there a time where the two of you got on well and were supportive of each other?  It's interesting to hear that she doesn't want you to bring anyone else along when the two of you have arranged to meet us. Can you think of a reason why that may be?

I'm wondering, what do you think would be the most important thing that would need to change for you to feel good about meeting/talking to your sister? 

I'm really glad to hear that you will be having one to one meetings three times a week at school. I would imagine that you can really do with having the space to talk to someone. Do you know who the meetings will be with? 

 

Hi Aurora,

Yes my relationship with my older sister has been quite negative throughout the years.  we used to be so close to eachother when we were little. she could try and let me have a friend their when we meet eachother. Yes I do need the space to talk to someone at school the meetings are finishing in April then I'm starting cousiling again. The meetings are with my head of year which is good because she knows my whole tire background since year 7. 

[Aurora]

On 1/17/2023 at 7:47 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora,

Yes my relationship with my older sister has been quite negative throughout the years.  we used to be so close to eachother when we were little. she could try and let me have a friend their when we meet eachother. Yes I do need the space to talk to someone at school the meetings are finishing in April then I'm starting cousiling again. The meetings are with my head of year which is good because she knows my whole tire background since year 7. 

Hi Treacle, I think that's a really good idea to have a friend with you when you meet up with your sister. Do you have a friend in mind? 

It sounds like you have a good plan in place at school now, too. Have the meetings with your head of year started yet? And if so, do you mind me asking how they are going? Has it made a difference to how you feel about going to school? 

[Treacle 246]

On 1/20/2023 at 1:20 PM, Aurora said:

Hi Treacle, I think that's a really good idea to have a friend with you when you meet up with your sister. Do you have a friend in mind? 

It sounds like you have a good plan in place at school now, too. Have the meetings with your head of year started yet? And if so, do you mind me asking how they are going? Has it made a difference to how you feel about going to school? 

Yes I do have a friend in mind that I'm able to take. Yes the meetings have started and I find it so much better to have the one to one meetings with my head of year 

[Aurora]

On 1/22/2023 at 12:19 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Yes I do have a friend in mind that I'm able to take. Yes the meetings have started and I find it so much better to have the one to one meetings with my head of year 

That sounds really positive  How are you feeling about everything right now? 

[Treacle 246]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

That sounds really positive  How are you feeling about everything right now? 

I'm feeling better about everything but I'm still experiencing having panic attacks most days

[Aurora]

18 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

I'm feeling better about everything but I'm still experiencing having panic attacks most days

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better about everything . Do you mind me asking, what you do when you have  a panic attack? 

[Treacle 246]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better about everything . Do you mind me asking, what you do when you have  a panic attack? 

Hi Aurora,

No I don't mind you asking.

I usually go outside the class and try and relax and get some fresh air. Take deep breaths and count to 10. 

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora,

No I don't mind you asking.

I usually go outside the class and try and relax and get some fresh air. Take deep breaths and count to 10. 

Thank you for sharing. Deep breaths can really help us in those situations to calm our body and tell our nervous system to calm down. Do you find that it works well for you? Let me know if not and I can share another technique with you if you like. 

[Treacle 246]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for sharing. Deep breaths can really help us in those situations to calm our body and tell our nervous system to calm down. Do you find that it works well for you? Let me know if not and I can share another technique with you if you like.

 

Yes taking deep breaths do help I just need to be reminded to take deep breaths when I'm feeling panicky 

[Aurora]

On 1/25/2023 at 5:23 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Yes taking deep breaths do help I just need to be reminded to take deep breaths when I'm feeling panicky 

Have you thought about wearing a bracelet or something like that to remind you to take deep breaths? Some people find that really helpful. There are lots of deep breath bracelets to buy or even make yourself. Do you think that might work?   

[Treacle 246]

On 1/27/2023 at 11:57 AM, Aurora said:

Have you thought about wearing a bracelet or something like that to remind you to take deep breaths? Some people find that really helpful. There are lots of deep breath bracelets to buy or even make yourself. Do you think that might work?   

I would but we can't wear bracelets at school. My school is s very strict on jewelry. But I am think if I explain to my head of year about it she might let me wear a bracelet. 

[Aurora]

On 1/28/2023 at 8:10 PM, Treacle 246 said:

I would but we can't wear bracelets at school. My school is s very strict on jewelry. But I am think if I explain to my head of year about it she might let me wear a bracelet. 

Do you think a bracelet might work? If you want you can let me know if your head of year agreed to it or not. 

How are you feeling today? 

[Treacle 246]

4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Do you think a bracelet might work? If you want you can let me know if your head of year agreed to it or not. 

How are you feeling today? 

Yes i think a bracelet would work. I'm speaking to my head of year tomorrow hopefully. I'm feeling alright today which is good had a 2 hour health and social care exam was a bit stressed but was alright. 

[Aurora]

19 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yes i think a bracelet would work. I'm speaking to my head of year tomorrow hopefully. I'm feeling alright today which is good had a 2 hour health and social care exam was a bit stressed but was alright. 

I'm really glad to hear that. Exams are always a bit stressful but it sounds like you did really well . I get the impression that things seemed to have settled down and that you are in a good space rn. Is that right? 

[Treacle 246]

On 1/31/2023 at 11:51 AM, Aurora said:

I'm really glad to hear that. Exams are always a bit stressful but it sounds like you did really well . I get the impression that things seemed to have settled down and that you are in a good space rn. Is that right? 

Yeah exams are stressful. Yeah I'm in a good space I feel better in my self. My head of year agreed with to have a bracelet on because she knows how hard it is for me to deal with breakdowns or anxiety/ panic attacks 

[Aurora]

On 2/1/2023 at 6:12 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah exams are stressful. Yeah I'm in a good space I feel better in my self. My head of year agreed with to have a bracelet on because she knows how hard it is for me to deal with breakdowns or anxiety/ panic attacks 

That's great news . I hope it helps to remind you to breath when you are feeling anxious or having a panic attack. 

Would you like anymore support with anything or are you good for now? 

[Treacle 246]

8 hours ago, Aurora said:

That's great news . I hope it helps to remind you to breath when you are feeling anxious or having a panic attack. 

Would you like anymore support with anything or are you good for now? 

Yeah i tried it today and it helped I had am anxiety and panic attack at the same time in science but it didn't seem to stop me from passing out. The reason that I had a panic and anxiety attack was that I had to do my English speaking exam today and my speech was about bullying and some people in my English class asked me very personal questions like what is it like to be bullied? Have you ever been bullied? My teacher stepped in and said it wasn't appropriate to ask those questions and they were very personal. I asked my teacher if I could just take a minute outside. My teacher then said yes. I went out the class and I literally just had a breakdown. I had my head of year, someone from welfare, and 2 English teachers came to check on me because I literally couldn't stop crying. I eventually dropped after half an hour. Went back into English after the lesson an English teacher took me into her class and said just take some deep breaths and slow down. I went to my next lesson with my head of year but as soon as I got there I broke down crying I had to literally ask a friend to get my head of year to come and talk to me. Which helped but she saw that I was really really upset about the questions being asked. So she decided to give a hug. She made me sit down next to her so I didn't pass out again. She kept giving me loads of hugs. 

[BreeKJM123]

On 9/16/2022 at 2:08 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I completely get why this is getting to you, and it has been going on for a while now hasn't it? It's completely normal to feel this way and it's good that you're speaking about it. I'm wondering do you know what your teachers have done to help? Also, have your parents spoke to the school? 

And have you reported this person (or people)? If so, has anyone done anything about it??

[Aurora]

On 2/3/2023 at 11:05 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah i tried it today and it helped I had am anxiety and panic attack at the same time in science but it didn't seem to stop me from passing out. The reason that I had a panic and anxiety attack was that I had to do my English speaking exam today and my speech was about bullying and some people in my English class asked me very personal questions like what is it like to be bullied? Have you ever been bullied? My teacher stepped in and said it wasn't appropriate to ask those questions and they were very personal. I asked my teacher if I could just take a minute outside. My teacher then said yes. I went out the class and I literally just had a breakdown. I had my head of year, someone from welfare, and 2 English teachers came to check on me because I literally couldn't stop crying. I eventually dropped after half an hour. Went back into English after the lesson an English teacher took me into her class and said just take some deep breaths and slow down. I went to my next lesson with my head of year but as soon as I got there I broke down crying I had to literally ask a friend to get my head of year to come and talk to me. Which helped but she saw that I was really really upset about the questions being asked. So she decided to give a hug. She made me sit down next to her so I didn't pass out again. She kept giving me loads of hugs. 

Thanks for sharing this with me. I can understand why this questions would have been really triggering for you. You mentioned before that you have been bullied for years and it's only natural that you feel really emotional about this. Sometimes letting all our feelings out can help us process things and can help us move forward. Do you mind me asking, how you are feeling now? Also, it sounds to me like your teachers were all really supportive, is that right? Please know that we are also here for you 

[Treacle 246]

On 2/6/2023 at 1:19 PM, Aurora said:

Thanks for sharing this with me. I can understand why this questions would have been really triggering for you. You mentioned before that you have been bullied for years and it's only natural that you feel really emotional about this. Sometimes letting all our feelings out can help us process things and can help us move forward. Do you mind me asking, how you are feeling now? Also, it sounds to me like your teachers were all really supportive, is that right? Please know that we are also here for you 

Hi Aurora,

I've only just saw your message been really stressed out and busy. I'm doing alright but I didn't want to go to English. Yeah the teachers were very supportive due to them knowing that I used to be bullied. 

 

The reason why I've been feeling stressed is this

being a young carer is quite hard to deal with especially when I'm not at school. due to it coming February half term.  I'm going to be really busy with revising and I'm not going to be able to have time for myself. I feel like I can't speak to my mum because she would become stressed, and I don't want to make her stress. The thing is she expects me to keep doing the housework on the weekend and when I have a lot of homework due during the week and I just want to get it done and out of the way. Since got exams coming up, I feel like I'm going to be stressed and I might not be able to get my revision done for upcoming exams. The days I'm not revising I just want a day to relax and look after my mental health which usually includes listening to music and doing a bit of tidying up in the kitchen and the living room or going out with friends or just spending time for myself to relax and don't feel as stressed or anxious about exams. I would like to speak to my mum about this, but I feel like I can't speak to her about this because I don't want her to feel stressed or anxious. 

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora,

I've only just saw your message been really stressed out and busy. I'm doing alright but I didn't want to go to English. Yeah the teachers were very supportive due to them knowing that I used to be bullied. 

The reason why I've been feeling stressed is this

being a young carer is quite hard to deal with especially when I'm not at school. due to it coming February half term.  I'm going to be really busy with revising and I'm not going to be able to have time for myself. I feel like I can't speak to my mum because she would become stressed, and I don't want to make her stress. The thing is she expects me to keep doing the housework on the weekend and when I have a lot of homework due during the week and I just want to get it done and out of the way. Since got exams coming up, I feel like I'm going to be stressed and I might not be able to get my revision done for upcoming exams. The days I'm not revising I just want a day to relax and look after my mental health which usually includes listening to music and doing a bit of tidying up in the kitchen and the living room or going out with friends or just spending time for myself to relax and don't feel as stressed or anxious about exams. I would like to speak to my mum about this, but I feel like I can't speak to her about this because I don't want her to feel stressed or anxious. 

Hi Treacle, thanks for sharing this with me. I didn't realise you are a young carer. It sounds like you have a lot going on and I can understand that this is adding to your stress. I get the impression that you want to look after yourself by making sure that you have enough time to relax and unwind in between learning for your exams. And that's really good and important. However at the same time you feel like you can't really do that because you are also caring for your Mum. Is that right? I can imagine it must be difficult to juggle so many things at once. You mentioned that you feel like you don't want to speak to your Mum because you don't want her to feel stressed or anxious. It's really kind of you to be so thoughtful. I'm wondering though, don't you think your Mum would want to know if you are feeling stressed? And do you think she would want to try and resolve this? Maybe you could come up with a plan together. What do you think?

Also, do you mind me asking, is the council aware that you are a young carer? I think you mentioned before that you live in the UK. Is that right? As far as I am aware you (or your Mum) can ask the council to come and do an assessment of your Mum's needs and your own needs and the two of you might be able to get some additional help (if you don't already). Do you think that might be helpful?