Bullying

[Treacle]

How do people deal with bullying going on I'm in my last year of secondary school and I've experienced bullying all my whole tire school life and I can't keep going on like this 

[Emberfrost12]

2 hours ago, Treacle said:

How do people deal with bullying going on I'm in my last year of secondary school and I've experienced bullying all my whole tire school life and I can't keep going on like this 

That sounds really tough, I'm going to tag in @Monsoon and @Aurora so that they can give you advice. I'm just going to say that my friends helped me get through being bullied, and that you can't give in to them.

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Treacle said:

How do people deal with bullying going on I'm in my last year of secondary school and I've experienced bullying all my whole tire school life and I can't keep going on like this 

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm really sorry to hear about the bullying. Bullying is awful for any length of time, but to have experienced it for as long a you have must be so difficult for you. What has it been like for you? 

[Treacle]

It's made me feel down alot and made me depressed anxious and jsut feel hopeless 

[Treacle]

20 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

That sounds really tough, I'm going to tag in @Monsoon and @Aurora so that they can give you advice. I'm just going to say that my friends helped me get through being bullied, and that you can't give in to them.

Thank you 

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, Treacle said:

It's made me feel down alot and made me depressed anxious and jsut feel hopeless 

Hey,

I'm really sorry about that. Can you tell me more about those feelings? Also, I'm wondering, do any adults know about what's going on? 

[Treacle]

23 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm really sorry about that. Can you tell me more about those feelings? Also, I'm wondering, do any adults know about what's going on? 

Yeah welfare, my science, history, pe and English teacher know what is going on. 

[Treacle]

2 hours ago, Treacle said:

Yeah welfare, my science, history, pe and English teacher know what is going on. 

I've selfharmed 3 times when I was bullied in year 9 and 10 I feel like crying and just don't want this to keep happening. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I completely get why this is getting to you, and it has been going on for a while now hasn't it? It's completely normal to feel this way and it's good that you're speaking about it. I'm wondering do you know what your teachers have done to help? Also, have your parents spoke to the school? 

[Treacle]

12 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I completely get why this is getting to you, and it has been going on for a while now hasn't it? It's completely normal to feel this way and it's good that you're speaking about it. I'm wondering do you know what your teachers have done to help? Also, have your parents spoke to the school? 

My teachers have helped me by having one to one talks with them and having meetings about it. They've also helped to get a therapist and a cousiler and a mentla health supporter they've given me alot of strategies to use. But the bullying has gone on for way to long the bullying had happened since year 1 in primary school and my primary school didn't know how to deal with the bullying and they didn't resllt help me. My mum has phoned the school and they said there trying to sort it out but it still going on 

Edited September 16, 2022 by Treacle

[Monsoon]

14 hours ago, Treacle said:

My teachers have helped me by having one to one talks with them and having meetings about it. They've also helped to get a therapist and a cousiler and a mentla health supporter they've given me alot of strategies to use. But the bullying has gone on for way to long the bullying had happened since year 1 in primary school and my primary school didn't know how to deal with the bullying and they didn't resllt help me. My mum has phoned the school and they said there trying to sort it out but it still going on 

Hey,

I'm sorry that it's still going on after all this time. I can imagine that, at this point, you're feeling pretty hopeless about it all. It sounds like the school aren't necessarily doing the right things to move this forward. I'm wondering, have your parents thought about speaking with the board of governors for the school? Every school has one, and they oversee how things are ran in school, and if she contacts them, they might be able to move things forward. What do you think?

[Treacle]

On 9/17/2022 at 9:53 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm sorry that it's still going on after all this time. I can imagine that, at this point, you're feeling pretty hopeless about it all. It sounds like the school aren't necessarily doing the right things to move this forward. I'm wondering, have your parents thought about speaking with the board of governors for the school? Every school has one, and they oversee how things are ran in school, and if she contacts them, they might be able to move things forward. What do you think?

I don't really know I don't think it will help because we did that last time and it made things alot worse. Any other ideas that I could use

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, Treacle said:

I don't really know I don't think it will help because we did that last time and it made things alot worse. Any other ideas that I could use

Hi there, I'm Aurora. I'm one of the other support mentors here. I thought I would jump in while Monsoon is away. I hope you don't mind. I'm really sorry to hear about what's been going on. That sounds really tough, especially if it's been going on for so long. And I'm sorry that speaking to the board of governors just made it worse. Do you mind telling me what  happened that made it worse? Also, would it be OK if you told us a little more about what has been going on? What have the others been doing and is it the whole class, a group of students or one person in particular. Please know that you are not alone and we are here to help

[Treacle]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I'm Aurora. I'm one of the other support mentors here. I thought I would jump in while Monsoon is away. I hope you don't mind. I'm really sorry to hear about what's been going on. That sounds really tough, especially if it's been going on for so long. And I'm sorry that speaking to the board of governors just made it worse. Do you mind telling me what  happened that made it worse? Also, would it be OK if you told us a little more about what has been going on? What have the others been doing and is it the whole class, a group of students or one person in particular. Please know that you are not alone and we are here to help

Hi aurora I don't mind you jumping in. Well had a meeting with the board about it. They suggested to have a meeting with the person who bullied me to say sorry. I agreed I don't know why I did. I went to the meeting with a teacher. The person was there who bullied me she said sorry but she said a reallt horrible comment on a message to me which I can't say sorry because I don't have the massage anymore. It's one person she has Bullied me eversince year 1 yes we both went to the same primary school. She says horrible comments like I have no friends my life I sad and lonely and she said who would be friends with me. She said a comment about how she Bullied me every day in primary school and that I would cry everytime she did bully me. I was so close to punhing her in the face but I didn't want to. Also thank you I needed to hear the last bit of your message. When the bullying happens now I usually go to the library and tell someone about it which usually makes me  end up crying. 

[Aurora]

13 hours ago, Treacle said:

Hi aurora I don't mind you jumping in. Well had a meeting with the board about it. They suggested to have a meeting with the person who bullied me to say sorry. I agreed I don't know why I did. I went to the meeting with a teacher. The person was there who bullied me she said sorry but she said a reallt horrible comment on a message to me which I can't say sorry because I don't have the massage anymore. It's one person she has Bullied me eversince year 1 yes we both went to the same primary school. She says horrible comments like I have no friends my life I sad and lonely and she said who would be friends with me. She said a comment about how she Bullied me every day in primary school and that I would cry everytime she did bully me. I was so close to punhing her in the face but I didn't want to. Also thank you I needed to hear the last bit of your message. When the bullying happens now I usually go to the library and tell someone about it which usually makes me  end up crying. 

Thank you for sharing what's been going on. I'm really sorry that this has been going on for such a long time. I'm glad to hear that you have been speaking to the school about what has been going on. I can understand your hesitance at not wanting to contact the board again as the meeting seemed to have made things worse. However, I would encourage you to keep telling them what is happening and to ask them for a different way forward as having a meeting didn't seem to help. What do you think?

Also, I just wanted to reassure you that none of this is your fault. It sounds to me like the girl you've been telling me about might be unhappy herself and this is how she is letting out her feelings. This doesn't make it OK for her to treat you like this! However, if the school could find a way to support her to express her unhappiness without lashing out at others that might help your situation. What do you think? 

[Treacle]

8 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for sharing what's been going on. I'm really sorry that this has been going on for such a long time. I'm glad to hear that you have been speaking to the school about what has been going on. I can understand your hesitance at not wanting to contact the board again as the meeting seemed to have made things worse. However, I would encourage you to keep telling them what is happening and to ask them for a different way forward as having a meeting didn't seem to help. What do you think?

Also, I just wanted to reassure you that none of this is your fault. It sounds to me like the girl you've been telling me about might be unhappy herself and this is how she is letting out her feelings. This doesn't make it OK for her to treat you like this! However, if the school could find a way to support her to express her unhappiness without lashing out at others that might help your situation. What do you think? 

The school has been telling the board because I don't really like speaking about what is happening. The board isn't really doing anything to really sort or stop the bullying going on. I went to my head of year to talk about it and she said she's sorting it out. Today no bullying happened but I fear that everyday it will just happen. 

Your last message I don't really think so since she has been bullying me ever since year 1 for some reason she has literally really hated me. And in year 9 or 10 it got so bad that I thought about ending my life... 

Edited September 20, 2022 by Treacle

[Aurora]

14 hours ago, Treacle said:

The school has been telling the board because I don't really like speaking about what is happening. The board isn't really doing anything to really sort or stop the bullying going on. I went to my head of year to talk about it and she said she's sorting it out. Today no bullying happened but I fear that everyday it will just happen. 

Your last message I don't really think so since she has been bullying me ever since year 1 for some reason she has literally really hated me. And in year 9 or 10 it got so bad that I thought about ending my life... 

I am sorry to hear that this has been going on for so long and that it keeps continuing. I'm glad you felt able to speak to your head of year and that she said that she's sorting it out. Did she tell you what she means by this? I think it would be important to have a plan in place with clear consequences if the bullying should happen again so everyone knows what's going on. Especially as this has been going on for so long and nothing the school has done so far has helped. Maybe you or your parents could ask the school to put this in place and share the plan with you. What do you think? 

Thank you for sharing that it got so bad in Year 9 and 10 that you thought about ending your life. I know it can be difficult to talk about this. How do you feel now? Are you still having these thoughts? Please know that this is a safe space and it's OK to tell me if you are. We're here for you

[Treacle]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

I am sorry to hear that this has been going on for so long and that it keeps continuing. I'm glad you felt able to speak to your head of year and that she said that she's sorting it out. Did she tell you what she means by this? I think it would be important to have a plan in place with clear consequences if the bullying should happen again so everyone knows what's going on. Especially as this has been going on for so long and nothing the school has done so far has helped. Maybe you or your parents could ask the school to put this in place and share the plan with you. What do you think? 

Thank you for sharing that it got so bad in Year 9 and 10 that you thought about ending your life. I know it can be difficult to talk about this. How do you feel now? Are you still having these thoughts? Please know that this is a safe space and it's OK to tell me if you are. We're here for you

No she didn't tell me what she meant by this but I think she was going to have a talk with them about it. Yeah we use to have a plan but before covid it didn't really work the last time we had a plan. The consequences to the bulling is that my head of year said a day in reset and a detention. I just feel hopeless and really Emotional lately I've cried 3 times last night. I have had a day that I did think about ending my life but I stopped myself before things escalated I'm with a therapist talking about it. Which is helping and I haven't had any more thoughts about ending my life. 

[Monsoon]

6 hours ago, Treacle said:

No she didn't tell me what she meant by this but I think she was going to have a talk with them about it. Yeah we use to have a plan but before covid it didn't really work the last time we had a plan. The consequences to the bulling is that my head of year said a day in reset and a detention. I just feel hopeless and really Emotional lately I've cried 3 times last night. I have had a day that I did think about ending my life but I stopped myself before things escalated I'm with a therapist talking about it. Which is helping and I haven't had any more thoughts about ending my life. 

Hey there,

I just wanted to jump in while Aurora is off as she will only be back on Friday. I'm glad to hear that you have not had any more thoughts about ending your life. Would you like to share what it was about talking to the therapist that helped you?

[Treacle]

9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I just wanted to jump in while Aurora is off as she will only be back on Friday. I'm glad to hear that you have not had any more thoughts about ending your life. Would you like to share what it was about talking to the therapist that helped you?

Talking to a therapist has helped by just talking about emotions and feelings and they've given me advice on if I have the thought again I can use the advice and I will be able to talk to her again 

[Aurora]

On 9/21/2022 at 3:52 PM, Treacle said:

No she didn't tell me what she meant by this but I think she was going to have a talk with them about it. Yeah we use to have a plan but before covid it didn't really work the last time we had a plan. The consequences to the bulling is that my head of year said a day in reset and a detention. I just feel hopeless and really Emotional lately I've cried 3 times last night. I have had a day that I did think about ending my life but I stopped myself before things escalated I'm with a therapist talking about it. Which is helping and I haven't had any more thoughts about ending my life. 

I'm glad to hear that talking to your therapist helps. It sounds like you are feeling pretty low at the moment and even though you are not having any more thoughts about ending your life, I'm wondering if it would still be helpful for you to talk to your therapist? What do you think?

How confident are you that the Head of Year is going to do something about the bullying that's been going on? How has this week been? 

[Treacle]

3 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm glad to hear that talking to your therapist helps. It sounds like you are feeling pretty low at the moment and even though you are not having any more thoughts about ending your life, I'm wondering if it would still be helpful for you to talk to your therapist? What do you think?

How confident are you that the Head of Year is going to do something about the bullying that's been going on? How has this week been? 

This week has been good accept from today. I had p.e last period and I didn't feel well while getting ready for p.e I collapsed when my head of year came to get everyone out. Carly had said a comment when she walked past me "she said oh look at her she never does p.e she's so weak.  Im 70% that my head of year has sorted it out. I've been referred to cousiling aswell yeah I will mention it to my therapist on Monday when she talks to me in school. 

[Aurora]

On 9/23/2022 at 6:08 PM, Treacle said:

This week has been good accept from today. I had p.e last period and I didn't feel well while getting ready for p.e I collapsed when my head of year came to get everyone out. Carly had said a comment when she walked past me "she said oh look at her she never does p.e she's so weak.  Im 70% that my head of year has sorted it out. I've been referred to cousiling aswell yeah I will mention it to my therapist on Monday when she talks to me in school. 

Hi Treacle, thanks for sharing what went on in PE. I can imagine it must have been upsetting to hear that comment. What did the others in your class say/do, when you collapsed?

I'm glad to hear though that the rest of your week was good and that you're quite confident that your head of year has sorted it out. Keep us posted how it goes. Also, how did your session with your therapist go today. Was it helpful talking to her? 

[Treacle]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi Treacle, thanks for sharing what went on in PE. I can imagine it must have been upsetting to hear that comment. What did the others in your class say/do, when you collapsed?

I'm glad to hear though that the rest of your week was good and that you're quite confident that your head of year has sorted it out. Keep us posted how it goes. Also, how did your session with your therapist go today. Was it helpful talking to her? 

I didn't really focus on the comment that Carly made to me I was just mostly focusing on myself to get my balance back. My friends supported me when i collapsed. Yes it was very helpful to talk to my therapist she suggested that I can have time out if the bullying carries on and gave me alot of advice on how to cope with it. I've got a meeting with the school nurse and miss Emsley to talk about the bullying thats been going lately and in the past. 

[Aurora]

13 hours ago, Treacle said:

I didn't really focus on the comment that Carly made to me I was just mostly focusing on myself to get my balance back. My friends supported me when i collapsed. Yes it was very helpful to talk to my therapist she suggested that I can have time out if the bullying carries on and gave me alot of advice on how to cope with it. I've got a meeting with the school nurse and miss Emsley to talk about the bullying thats been going lately and in the past. 

This all sounds really positive. How are you feeling about the situation now? 

Also, I just wanted to say that it's really interesting that you didn't focus on the comment Carly made and instead focused on yourself. How did that feel?