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Bullying


Treacle

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I just want to jump in and check on how on you before Aurora replies. I noticed what you said about wanting to give up, and I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? I might be reading too much into it, but better safe than sorry.ย  Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: When you do get back to us, can you let us know how you're doing?ย 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • https://kidshelpphone.ca/urgent-help - You can text, message them online, or call them on the number listed on this page (they are available 24/7)
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful.ย 
  • If youโ€™re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and itโ€™s completely free 24/7ย 
  • Remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and feelings are only temporary. We are here for you.
ย 

I'm doing alright now I just want to give up on doing exams and the bullying going on. Thank you for checking up on me letting you know I am safe.ย 

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27 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Treacle,

That's good to hear. What do you think is helping you to feel a bit better?ย 

Laughing with friends at school and seeing friends after school watching films.ย 

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7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I saw that Monsoon already checked in with you to see if you were feeling safe, If you are in crisis then you have the safety information Monsoon has given you.

I'm really sorry to hear that the bullying has started up again. That must be tough, especially if you're in the middle of your mock exams. Have you spoken to your Head of Year or the school nurse about this? It sounded like they've been taking this very seriously and I'm sure they would want to know if it's starting up again. Please know that we are here for you and even if it might not feel like it now, you can get through this!ย 

I've reported it to my head of year and I'm speaking to my therapist tomorrow afternoon about it and talking to the school nurse after school about it aswell because I'm not going through it for another year. I just wish sometimes there would be no pain in life and everything is painlessย 

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On 11/16/2022 at 10:16 PM, Treacle 246 said:

I've reported it to my head of year and I'm speaking to my therapist tomorrow afternoon about it and talking to the school nurse after school about it aswell because I'm not going through it for another year. I just wish sometimes there would be no pain in life and everything is painlessย 

I get what you're saying! I'm glad to hear you've reported it. You should not have to go through this again. Has the head of year and the school nurse done something about it? And how are you feeling today?ย 

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On 11/18/2022 at 2:15 PM, Aurora said:

I get what you're saying! I'm glad to hear you've reported it. You should not have to go through this again. Has the head of year and the school nurse done something about it? And how are you feeling today?ย 

Hi Aurora,

My head of year has not done anything about it I don't think. I had a meeting with the school nurse and she suggested to have a meeting with the people who have bullied me because we have told welfare,ย  head of year, school, and the school board and nothing to semes to be working. I agreed with the school nurse to do the meeting. I'm hoping it will stop the bullying going on for the last time.ย 

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On 11/19/2022 at 11:13 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora,

My head of year has not done anything about it I don't think. I had a meeting with the school nurse and she suggested to have a meeting with the people who have bullied me because we have told welfare,ย  head of year, school, and the school board and nothing to semes to be working. I agreed with the school nurse to do the meeting. I'm hoping it will stop the bullying going on for the last time.ย 

Thank you for letting me know. How do you feel about the meeting? Do you mind me asking, when it will be taking place? I agree with you - it's really important that the bullying is stopped. It's not OK that it keeps happening again and again. If you feel happy to, then please keep us updated and let us know how the meeting goes.ย 

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7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for letting me know. How do you feel about the meeting? Do you mind me asking, when it will be taking place? I agree with you - it's really important that the bullying is stopped. It's not OK that it keeps happening again and again. If you feel happy to, then please keep us updated and let us know how the meeting goes.ย 

I talked with the school nurse and she said to ask missย  ****** for a restorative meeting. Then she will decide when to do the meeting. Because nothing is working for the bullying. I don't even want to go to my maths lesson on Monday every fortnight.ย 

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18 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

I talked with the school nurse and she said to ask missย  ****** for a restorative meeting. Then she will decide when to do the meeting. Because nothing is working for the bullying. I don't even want to go to my maths lesson on Monday every fortnight.ย 

Is it the math lesson, where the bullying takes place? And can I ask, how you feel about a restorative meeting?ย 

Please know that none of this is your fault.ย In the meantime (until the meeting takes place) I wanted to remind you that you mentioned a couple of instances before, where you didn't let the hurtful comments get to you. I'm wondering whether it might be helpful to think back to those situations and remember what you did and what helped?

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On 11/22/2022 at 12:53 PM, Aurora said:

Is it the math lesson, where the bullying takes place? And can I ask, how you feel about a restorative meeting?ย 

Please know that none of this is your fault.ย In the meantime (until the meeting takes place) I wanted to remind you that you mentioned a couple of instances before, where you didn't let the hurtful comments get to you. I'm wondering whether it might be helpful to think back to those situations and remember what you did and what helped?

Hi aurora,

Yes it's always in maths. I don't really know but if that will stop the bullying im going to do the meeting. I didn't think about the hurtful comment because I was focusing on myself. I've had two breakdowns this week my head of year or welfare haven't talked to me about the meeting or the bullying. I've got a meeting with the school nurse tomorrow to talk about it.ย 

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On 11/23/2022 at 6:32 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Hi aurora,

Yes it's always in maths. I don't really know but if that will stop the bullying im going to do the meeting. I didn't think about the hurtful comment because I was focusing on myself. I've had two breakdowns this week my head of year or welfare haven't talked to me about the meeting or the bullying. I've got a meeting with the school nurse tomorrow to talk about it.ย 

Hiย @Treacle, thank you for the update. Is your maths teacher aware and do they do anything about it? How did the meeting with the school nurse go?ย 

It's interesting that you said that you were focussing on yourself. I'm wondering whether you could try that next time you hear a hurtful comment. Have you had a chance to look at the link I sent you before on how to ground yourself if you're feeling stressed. No problem if not but I'm wondering if any of those techniques might help. What do you think? Here is the link again, in case you've not had chance to look at it beforeย https://www.ditchthelabel.org/4-ways-to-ground-yourself-if-you-are-stressed/

If it's something you might want to try it might be best to practice it at home first when you're feeling calm already. Like this it'll be easier to remember what to do when you're feeling upset or overwhelmed. I really hope the situation gets resolved soon! We're here for you

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On 11/25/2022 at 1:25 PM, Aurora said:

Hiย @Treacle, thank you for the update. Is your maths teacher aware and do they do anything about it? How did the meeting with the school nurse go?ย 

It's interesting that you said that you were focussing on yourself. I'm wondering whether you could try that next time you hear a hurtful comment. Have you had a chance to look at the link I sent you before on how to ground yourself if you're feeling stressed. No problem if not but I'm wondering if any of those techniques might help. What do you think? Here is the link again, in case you've not had chance to look at it beforeย https://www.ditchthelabel.org/4-ways-to-ground-yourself-if-you-are-stressed/

If it's something you might want to try it might be best to practice it at home first when you're feeling calm already. Like this it'll be easier to remember what to do when you're feeling upset or overwhelmed. I really hope the situation gets resolved soon! We're here for you

Had the meeting with the school nurse broke down crying had three breakdowns. I told her that I've selfharmed and I'm starting to feel suicidal. I told my mum and she gave me a long hug. School nurse said she will tell welfare and miss xxx by the end of today.I have to have a restorative meeting with miss xxx and miss xx and school nurse with the bullies otherwise my mum will start getting the police involved because it's gotten really bad where I want to not be hereWith the bullies otherwise my mum will start getting the police involved because it's gotten really bad where I want to not be here. I've got a meeting with my head of year and the school nurse on Monday in the morning its not with the bullies it just me, the school nurse and my head of year to talk about the bullying and what would be the next step. My maths teacher doesn't hear it because they say it when she's not in the class or when she's at her desk. I'm telling the school nurse and my head of year about how I've been feeling since the bullying has happened and it's constant now.ย 

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On 11/25/2022 at 6:40 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Had the meeting with the school nurse broke down crying had three breakdowns. I told her that I've selfharmed and I'm starting to feel suicidal. I told my mum and she gave me a long hug. School nurse said she will tell welfare and miss xxx by the end of today.I have to have a restorative meeting with miss xxx and miss xx and school nurse with the bullies otherwise my mum will start getting the police involved because it's gotten really bad where I want to not be hereWith the bullies otherwise my mum will start getting the police involved because it's gotten really bad where I want to not be here. I've got a meeting with my head of year and the school nurse on Monday in the morning its not with the bullies it just me, the school nurse and my head of year to talk about the bullying and what would be the next step. My maths teacher doesn't hear it because they say it when she's not in the class or when she's at her desk. I'm telling the school nurse and my head of year about how I've been feeling since the bullying has happened and it's constant now.ย 

Hi there, just to let you know that I've had to block out your teachers names from your post as we don't allow people's surnames to be posted on here. This is to make sure that this is a safe space for everyone. Thank you for being so open with us and letting us know how much the bullying is affecting you.

I really hope your meeting today went well. Please keep us posted if you're happy to. It's good to hear that you've been reaching out and telling your Mum and the school nurse that you've been self harming and feeling suicidal. It sounds to me like they have been listening to you and have been taking this seriously. Is that right? How are you feeling now? Do you think you are safe? This is a safe space and it's OK to say if you are not feeling safe. We are here to support you. As you know, we're not a crisis team so we can't always get back to you straight away but we will get back to you as soon as we can. However, if you are in crisis please make sure you reach out to the following (I think Monsoon or Blondie may have already given you the info but juts in case, here is is again):

ย 

UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)

A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org

An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful.ย 

If youโ€™re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and itโ€™s completely free 24/7

I know it might not feel like this right now, but things will get better again and there are lots of people who care about you very much (including us).ย 

ย 

ย 

ย 

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Hi @Treacle, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing? Please know that we are here for you if you need us

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On 11/30/2022 at 1:43 PM, Aurora said:

Hi @Treacle, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing? Please know that we are here for you if you need us

Thank you I've been really this week and I've only had a chance to look at the messages. Things are looking positive but still got one bully who is not listening to my head of yearย 

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On 12/2/2022 at 3:52 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Thank you I've been really busy this week with meetings and I've only had a chance to look at the messages. Things are looking positive but still got one bully who is not listening to my head of year and it's driving us two mad because we don't know what else to say to themย 

ย 

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On 12/2/2022 at 3:52 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Thank you I've been really this week and I've only had a chance to look at the messages. Things are looking positive but still got one bully who is not listening to my head of yearย 

Thank you for the update. I'm sorry for the delay in my reply - I'm usually not online over the weekend.ย 

I'm sorry to hear that there is still one bully who is not listening to your head of year. Do you feel like this is being dealt with in school?ย 

From what you're saying though it sounds like overall things are much better. Is that right? Would you like to share what feels more positive?

ย 

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7 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for the update. I'm sorry for the delay in my reply - I'm usually not online over the weekend.ย 

I'm sorry to hear that there is still one bully who is not listening to your head of year. Do you feel like this is being dealt with in school?ย 

From what you're saying though it sounds like overall things are much better. Is that right? Would you like to share what feels more positive?

ย 

Hi Aurora. That's alright. Everything was going alright until today had 3 people in science saying mean comments calling me names and just being outright rude. I've had 3 breakdowns today had one last night. Yes school is doing alot about it. I don't fancy talking about the bullying with anyone. I was talking to my head of year and I had a break down and I was also talking to the school nurse also had another breakdown while talking to her I've broken down crying and also nearly passed out because I didn't feel like eating at break or lunch or in the morning due to feeling overwhelmed by the bullying and I couldn't cope I've broken down crying 4 times today nearly every lesson today. I'm just hoping I don't have anymore breakdowns tomorrow or tonight.ย 

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16 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora. That's alright. Everything was going alright until today had 3 people in science saying mean comments calling me names and just being outright rude. I've had 3 breakdowns today had one last night. Yes school is doing alot about it. I don't fancy talking about the bullying with anyone. I was talking to my head of year and I had a break down and I was also talking to the school nurse also had another breakdown while talking to her I've broken down crying and also nearly passed out because I didn't feel like eating at break or lunch or in the morning due to feeling overwhelmed by the bullying and I couldn't cope I've broken down crying 4 times today nearly every lesson today. I'm just hoping I don't have anymore breakdowns tomorrow or tonight.ย 

Hi there, that sounds really tough. I can imagine it must be really frustrating for you, that this keeps happening. But I'm glad to hear that the school is doing a lot about it.ย  When you say that you don't want to talk to anyone about it - do you mean your friends or do you mean the head of year and the school nurse?

Also, I'm wondering, can you think of anything that would help, to stop the rude and hurtful comments get to you? Maybe there is a sentence you could say to yourself, when this happens to remind yourself what a great person you are and that what they are saying is not true?ย 

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4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, that sounds really tough. I can imagine it must be really frustrating for you, that this keeps happening. But I'm glad to hear that the school is doing a lot about it.ย  When you say that you don't want to talk to anyone about it - do you mean your friends or do you mean the head of year and the school nurse?

Also, I'm wondering, can you think of anything that would help, to stop the rude and hurtful comments get to you? Maybe there is a sentence you could say to yourself, when this happens to remind yourself what a great person you are and that what they are saying is not true?ย 

Just don't want to keep talking about with friends and my head is year and the school nurse because it keeps bringing up memories when the bullying was constant. I've tried to say a sentence before when they say the hurtful comment but its really hard when it's been going for a long time and just can't block it out anymoreย 

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19 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Just don't want to keep talking about with friends and my head is year and the school nurse because it keeps bringing up memories when the bullying was constant. I've tried to say a sentence before when they say the hurtful comment but its really hard when it's been going for a long time and just can't block it out anymoreย 

I can understand that! It's not surprising that this is having an emotional impact on your wellbeing, especially as it's been going on for such a long time. I think it might be good to have a way of releasing your emotions so you can allow yourself the space to process what's going on. What to you think? I'm just wondering, if you don't want to keep talking about it, what do you think would help instead?

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5 hours ago, Aurora said:

I can understand that! It's not surprising that this is having an emotional impact on your wellbeing, especially as it's been going on for such a long time. I think it might be good to have a way of releasing your emotions so you can allow yourself the space to process what's going on. What to you think? I'm just wondering, if you don't want to keep talking about it, what do you think would help instead?

Hi Aurora

Yeah I think that's what I just need to do and give my self some space. I've had two breakdowns today. I feel like to keep talking about it but at the same time I don't want to keep talking about it.ย 

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On 12/7/2022 at 5:49 PM, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora

Yeah I think that's what I just need to do and give my self some space. I've had two breakdowns today. I feel like to keep talking about it but at the same time I don't want to keep talking about it.ย 

Hi there, sorry that I'm only getting back to you now. I've been away for a few days. How have you been and how are you feeling now?

I get that, sometimes it's good to talk about things and get it all out but at the same time it can make us feel upset to think and talk about it. I'm wondering whether it would help, if you just had one person at school who you can go to when you're feeling upset, rather than having to talk to several. What do you think?ย 

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4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, sorry that I'm only getting back to you now. I've been away for a few days. How have you been and how are you feeling now?

I get that, sometimes it's good to talk about things and get it all out but at the same time it can make us feel upset to think and talk about it. I'm wondering whether it would help, if you just had one person at school who you can go to when you're feeling upset, rather than having to talk to several. What do you think?ย 

I'm feeling alright today no bullying happened and I haven't had any breakdowns today which my head of year hugged me because she was proud of me and saying you so much stronger than ever. I've been sticking with my head of year but I'm still having my meetings with the school nurse

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19 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

I'm feeling alright today no bullying happened and I haven't had any breakdowns today which my head of year hugged me because she was proud of me and saying you so much stronger than ever. I've been sticking with my head of year but I'm still having my meetings with the school nurse

That sounds really positive. And it's really nice that your head of year noticed. Do you feel stronger than ever? And is it OK for you to have both to talk to or would you prefer if it was just one of them?ย 

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