homophobic family

[jonathan]

Hey! my name is Nathan! i’m a closeted gay guy from a very homophobic country in asia and my parents are very homophobic and very conservative. being gay is not really a thing here and it’s seen as a “sickness”. i love buying cute and feminime outfits online and hide it somewhere in my room because i don’t want my family to see them. i always get judged by my own family because of how i look and how i talk, and basically my whole appearance. once i dyed it my hair red, my mom forced me to dye it black or she’s gonna cut my hair off and so i dyed it black. and once i bought a colorful accessories she threw them out to the garbage because she said she hated me looking like a “girl”. and she forces me a lot to act “normal” or “masculine” and she basically hates everything i do. my siblings aren’t very accepting and they always call me with the F slur and they’re also embarrassed to be related to me. i always cry everyday and i’m mentally abuse. i can’t take it anymore and i always plan to runaway but i’m only 16. i don’t feel safe here anyone please help me.

[Sophia A]

Hey Nathan,

Im going through something a lot like what you’re dealing with. It’s so hard to see your parents not accept you for who you are. I just want you to know that you are a beautiful human being and you deserve to love who you want to love.  I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise you it will get better. Can i ask if there’s any possibility you’re parents would kick you out if you do come out? Is there any safe place you can stay? Sometimes it can be refreshing and safer to get away from all the toxicity you’re going through and just work it out on your own without dealing with all the stress and anxiety coming from your parents.

Sending love and positive energy your way. Stay strong friend! You’ll get through this. 

[jonathan]

29 minutes ago, Sophia Alvarez said:

Hey Nathan,

Im going through something a lot like what you’re dealing with. It’s so hard to see your parents not accept you for who you are. I just want you to know that you are a beautiful human being and you deserve to love who you want to love.  I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise you it will get better. Can i ask if there’s any possibility you’re parents would kick you out if you do come out? Is there any safe place you can stay? Sometimes it can be refreshing and safer to get away from all the toxicity you’re going through and just work it out on your own without dealing with all the stress and anxiety coming from your parents.

Sending love and positive energy your way. Stay strong friend! You’ll get through this. 

thank you so much for your love and support! that means a lot to me and No, i dont have anywhere else. and if i come out they would think im sick anf they would kick me out or send me to a church/therapist. running away doesn’t seem like a good option because i’m only 16 :(

[Monsoon]

Hello Nathan,

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your parents are very homophobic and how you always get judged. I can imagine that it must be quite stressful for you living at home, but I just want you to know that you can be your true self 100% here, no judgement. We are here for you, Nathan.

For your safety, it's important that you don't come out until you can live independently and move away. Is it illegal to be gay in your country? Also, it is not a good idea for you to run away as you've said. This would put you in danger because you're so young. I know that it's hard for you to keep all of this in, but your safety is our number one priority. There are other ways you can express your sexuality, for example, through the TV shows you watch, films, the friends you make, and online communities like this.

Before I support you any further, when you say you don't feel safe and 'mentally abuse', can I ask what you mean? I think I have a good idea from what you've told me, but I'm wondering if there is anything else you would like to tell me. By opening up to others, this can help to make a situation more positive and safe. We are here for you. 

[jonathan]

5 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hello Nathan,

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your parents are very homophobic and how you always get judged. I can imagine that it must be quite stressful for you living at home, but I just want you to know that you can be your true self 100% here, no judgement. We are here for you, Nathan.

For your safety, it's important that you don't come out until you can live independently and move away. Is it illegal to be gay in your country? Also, it is not a good idea for you to run away as you've said. This would put you in danger because you're so young. I know that it's hard for you to keep all of this in, but your safety is our number one priority. There are other ways you can express your sexuality, for example, through the TV shows you watch, films, the friends you make, and online communities like this.

Before I support you any further, when you say you don't feel safe and 'mentally abuse', can I ask what you mean? I think I have a good idea from what you've told me, but I'm wondering if there is anything else you would like to tell me. By opening up to others, this can help to make a situation more positive and safe. We are here for you. 

hey mansoon! thanks for your support! it truly means a lot to me. and yes it’s very stressful here. i plan to move out as soon as i have a job. i live in indonesia and it’s not illegal being gay here but it’s because there’s not much law about lgbtq but my country is very homophobic and there’s several muslim protesters against the lgbtq. people here are very close minded. when i said i’m mentally abuse it’s because i’m always scared being myself here. my siblings always call me the F slur, my parents always force me to be “normal” or “masculine” and they always hate how i dress. i always hide my favorite things from my family. i never go out of my room because whenever i do, they would make comments like “why are you so skinny?” “eat more” “don’t talk like a girl” “walk like a man” and i would always go back to my room and cry. like i said, people here are very conservative and indonesia is a very religious muslim country. but thank you so much for your support and advice you’re very kind 

[Monsoon]

Hello Nathan,

You are more than welcome for our support. We are here for you now, and you can talk to us about absolutely anything. It's good that you're planning to move out as soon as you have a job. I can completely get why you feel so stressed living where you do. Do you plan to move to a different country as well? 

Also, I'm sorry to hear about all of the things your family say to you. It can be tricky to not let these things get to us. When people tell us to not be our authentic selves and judge us for being who we are, it can really hurt because we all just want to be fully accepted. I just want you to know that you are not the problem. You are perfect the way you are, and I really want you to believe that. It's their attitudes that are the issue. How are you feeling after opening up to us? 

I'm wondering, have you spoken to them about how this makes you feel?