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How to come out to someone u trust when having a homophobic family


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Hi ummm I'm new on here so I have no clue how this works but i wanted to see if anyone had advice on how to come out to someone u trust (for me it's my two teachers) I have been raised in a homophobic and transphobic home for as long as I can remember and I found out I was transgender (ftm) at the age of 8 and I am 17 now and I don't know what to do. I want to be who I want to be but I can't even start t yet tell I leave foe college but I have a lot of gender dysphoria. I just don't know what to do or say.

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  • Digital Mentor

Heyy @delta, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. Welcome to our community, so glad to have you here with us 😊 

Firstly, I want to let you know how honoured we are that you shared about coming out with us, it's a huge thing and should be celebrated! Thank you.Celebrate We The Best GIF by Booksmart

I am sorry to hear that you come from a home where the people share homophobic and transphobic views. I can only imagine how terrifying it has been for you. It's good to hear though that you have two teachers you do feel safe to come out too. I know it can be confusing as to how you can approach this conversation with them.

A good way to start would be to book in some time with those teachers, perhaps during your lunch break or office hours or whenever it is possible for all three of your schedules to work, having the physical time allocated to you would be helpful. Additionally, give the teachers a heads up either through an email or in person that you're looking to have an important conversation which is urgent to you and would appreciate if they could make the time for it. if the timings don't overlap you could always tell the teachers one at a time which will allow more one-to-one support. How does this sound to you? 

After reading everything that you've shared I see why you have been going through feelings of gender dysmorphia, having a mismatch of our gender identity and biological sex can happen when our surroundings especially the ones we've grown up don't sync with it. I am sorry, I do hope that moving forward you have a more positive experience coming out to people, I can't guarantee it but I know you will find more accepting people who you can share your true self with, you truly deserve that. 

p.s. If you need help drafting a message/email for your teachers do let me know, I'd be happy to work with you in Confidential support which is on our platform. 


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