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So I am AFAB, trans and non-binary, and I have decided that in the future I will get top surgery and start dressing more androgynous/masculine. There’s just a few obstacles. First of all, my parents are transphobic, and I live in the same house as them, and probably will for a couple more years. I’m kinda scared of medically transitioning while living in the same house with them.  Even when I do leave the house, I have this constant fear that one day, while I’m busy living my life, my parents will ask to see me again and I’ll have no response. I don’t hate my parents to the point where I’d disown them (even if they’re LGBTQ-phobic). Secondly, because of my gender, being genderfluid, my chest dysphoria fluctuates, making me question whether I should really get top surgery or not.  I have considered other surgeries like vocal coaching and non-surgical options and I am undecided on them. Even figuring out what my new full name should be is hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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7 hours ago, Ryebread said:

So I am AFAB, trans and non-binary, and I have decided that in the future I will get top surgery and start dressing more androgynous/masculine. There’s just a few obstacles. First of all, my parents are transphobic, and I live in the same house as them, and probably will for a couple more years. I’m kinda scared of medically transitioning while living in the same house with them.  Even when I do leave the house, I have this constant fear that one day, while I’m busy living my life, my parents will ask to see me again and I’ll have no response. I don’t hate my parents to the point where I’d disown them (even if they’re LGBTQ-phobic). Secondly, because of my gender, being genderfluid, my chest dysphoria fluctuates, making me question whether I should really get top surgery or not.  I have considered other surgeries like vocal coaching and non-surgical options and I am undecided on them. Even figuring out what my new full name should be is hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?

I posted on your other post, it takes time for people to reply!

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On 5/20/2022 at 11:14 AM, Ryebread said:

So I am AFAB, trans and non-binary, and I have decided that in the future I will get top surgery and start dressing more androgynous/masculine. There’s just a few obstacles. First of all, my parents are transphobic, and I live in the same house as them, and probably will for a couple more years. I’m kinda scared of medically transitioning while living in the same house with them.  Even when I do leave the house, I have this constant fear that one day, while I’m busy living my life, my parents will ask to see me again and I’ll have no response. I don’t hate my parents to the point where I’d disown them (even if they’re LGBTQ-phobic). Secondly, because of my gender, being genderfluid, my chest dysphoria fluctuates, making me question whether I should really get top surgery or not.  I have considered other surgeries like vocal coaching and non-surgical options and I am undecided on them. Even figuring out what my new full name should be is hard. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Hey @Ryebread

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like you've got some really big decisions to make, and it's normal to feel confused and conflicted about the many different options. I think that at this point, the best thing to do is to take everything one step at a time and get plenty of advice, especially from professionals, around how you're feeling. What do you think? It won't always be like this by the way, and it will become clearer over time, and I guess there is something in learning to be patient with it and trust the process, but I know that's easier said than done. 

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