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I sent nudes to my bf's friend and the whole thing is a disaster


#strugglebus
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Okay, ik that sounds AWFUL. I am dating this one guy who I love SOOOO much, well his friend happens to be one of my really close friends. It started with his friend sending me nudes one day and I didn't send back, i had never done it before and wasn't planning on doing so. The next day he sent again and we had a very long conversation, long story short he convinced me to send my top half and I went to bed due to the fact I felt awful. The next morning I messaged that friend and said I couldn't do that anymore and I felt guilty, I ended up messaging my bf and telling him what happened in a SUPER LONG paragraph because I couldn't keep that from him. He was pissed, as he should be, but he didn't break up with me. I blocked the friend but then unblocked him to explain what had happened. After a lot more drama and me feeling like I was gonna vomit my bf ended up forgiving me and we are okay now. I'm just scared the friend is gonna start telling people what happened, what should I do?

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20 hours ago, #strugglebus said:

Okay, ik that sounds AWFUL. I am dating this one guy who I love SOOOO much, well his friend happens to be one of my really close friends. It started with his friend sending me nudes one day and I didn't send back, i had never done it before and wasn't planning on doing so. The next day he sent again and we had a very long conversation, long story short he convinced me to send my top half and I went to bed due to the fact I felt awful. The next morning I messaged that friend and said I couldn't do that anymore and I felt guilty, I ended up messaging my bf and telling him what happened in a SUPER LONG paragraph because I couldn't keep that from him. He was pissed, as he should be, but he didn't break up with me. I blocked the friend but then unblocked him to explain what had happened. After a lot more drama and me feeling like I was gonna vomit my bf ended up forgiving me and we are okay now. I'm just scared the friend is gonna start telling people what happened, what should I do?

Hi there, I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors.

I understand how stressful this can be. Are you able to have a conversation with your friend and directly ask him not to share and not to talk about it? It might be worth mentioning to him that it's illegal to share images like this, especially considering your age.

What do you think?

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On 7/7/2022 at 1:02 PM, #strugglebus said:

Okay, ik that sounds AWFUL. I am dating this one guy who I love SOOOO much, well his friend happens to be one of my really close friends. It started with his friend sending me nudes one day and I didn't send back, i had never done it before and wasn't planning on doing so. The next day he sent again and we had a very long conversation, long story short he convinced me to send my top half and I went to bed due to the fact I felt awful. The next morning I messaged that friend and said I couldn't do that anymore and I felt guilty, I ended up messaging my bf and telling him what happened in a SUPER LONG paragraph because I couldn't keep that from him. He was pissed, as he should be, but he didn't break up with me. I blocked the friend but then unblocked him to explain what had happened. After a lot more drama and me feeling like I was gonna vomit my bf ended up forgiving me and we are okay now. I'm just scared the friend is gonna start telling people what happened, what should I do?

Hey!

I would like to say I am so proud of you for telling your boyfriend about all of this- that takes a lot of bravery and isn't easy to do. Also, don't feel awful about something you were pressured into doing. I am so happy for you that your bf is understanding of this whole situation. I understand you are afraid of this guy blackmailing you with the pictures. My advice is block and report him before he does anything.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 7/7/2022 at 10:02 AM, #strugglebus said:

Okay, ik that sounds AWFUL. I am dating this one guy who I love SOOOO much, well his friend happens to be one of my really close friends. It started with his friend sending me nudes one day and I didn't send back, i had never done it before and wasn't planning on doing so. The next day he sent again and we had a very long conversation, long story short he convinced me to send my top half and I went to bed due to the fact I felt awful. The next morning I messaged that friend and said I couldn't do that anymore and I felt guilty, I ended up messaging my bf and telling him what happened in a SUPER LONG paragraph because I couldn't keep that from him. He was pissed, as he should be, but he didn't break up with me. I blocked the friend but then unblocked him to explain what had happened. After a lot more drama and me feeling like I was gonna vomit my bf ended up forgiving me and we are okay now. I'm just scared the friend is gonna start telling people what happened, what should I do?

First- the entire situation sounds terrible, I hope you're doing okay :( 

I think if you're comfortable  with it, maybe try to tell people close to you what happened, and explain your side of the story? Because him sending you nudes unsolicited was really uncalled for, and disrespectful to your relationship as friends.  That way other people can block him too, and you have a larger support system. Only if your comfortable though! Since sharing can be difficult, I think it would also be good to encourage the people you know to block him or not text the friend to avoid any conversation leading to nudes.  Just letting them know that something happened in between you two, and even if he was a close friend, you don't feel like you're on very good terms with him currently. 

I think just to safe, it would also be a good idea to get screenshots of your friend's texts. That way if he does try to share your nudes, you have prove that he sended first and that he coerced you into it. 

This is only my recommendation! Again hope you're doing okay, and your anxiety over the situation doesn't get too debilitating </3

 

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