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Bisexual? Bicurious? Straight?


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Hey guys so for the past couple years I have had trouble questioning my sexuality.  I have a boyfriend who I love for the past few years so I can’t experiment or anything. I think some girls are soo pretty and are hot. I think I’d have sex with a girl, but can’t see myself marrying one. Some say it’s just jealousy or like a deep admiration for one. After I first started questioning myself I found that I fit a lot of bi stereotypes (not that it matters, just made me question myself more)  
 

I feel like I for the definition of heteroromantic bisexual, but a lot of people in the community don’t like micro labels.  Im not pressuring myself to label my sexuality but I feel like I’d feel better if I understood more of what it is. i defiantly like guys, I’m just unsure of the girl part lol. Any advice is appreciated.

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Hey @Retroraccoon25! Welcome to the Community! 👋

I am Daisie a Community Warden here on the forums and I wanted to send you a warm welcome.  We have Trained Digital Mentors on hand to offer support and advice, and I wondered if you'd like to talk things through with one? I'll tag them in so you know who they are and so they can reach out to you. @Monsoon @Blondie @Aurora

If you need anything else in the meantime, feel free to give me a shout. 😊

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12 hours ago, Retroraccoon25! said:

Hey guys so for the past couple years I have had trouble questioning my sexuality.  I have a boyfriend who I love for the past few years so I can’t experiment or anything. I think some girls are soo pretty and are hot. I think I’d have sex with a girl, but can’t see myself marrying one. Some say it’s just jealousy or like a deep admiration for one. After I first started questioning myself I found that I fit a lot of bi stereotypes (not that it matters, just made me question myself more)  
 

I feel like I for the definition of heteroromantic bisexual, but a lot of people in the community don’t like micro labels.  Im not pressuring myself to label my sexuality but I feel like I’d feel better if I understood more of what it is. i defiantly like guys, I’m just unsure of the girl part lol. Any advice is appreciated.

Hey @Retroraccoon25!

Welcome to the DTL community :)

I'm one of the support mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I'm wondering, have you spoken to your boyfriend about how you're questioning your sexuality? I'm just thinking, would he be open to the idea of you potentially experimenting to figure out your sexuality?

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7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Retroraccoon25!

Welcome to the DTL community :)

I'm one of the support mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I'm wondering, have you spoken to your boyfriend about how you're questioning your sexuality? I'm just thinking, would he be open to the idea of you potentially experimenting to figure out your sexuality?

Hi! When I first started questioning I did tell him about it. This was a couple years ago. We have been dating for 4 years. Honestly neither of us are comfortable with doing that. I don’t really want to have feelings for anybody but him. We aren’t into having an open relationship or anything like that. If I started exploring a relationship with a girl I would feel like I’m cheating on him. I get that makes it harder—that I’m unwilling to explore other relationships, but I love him and want to respect our relationship. So, no, I would say he isn’t open to the idea, but neither am I lol. 

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Hey there,

That's fair enough. I think that with the position you're in, it might be that there has to be some acceptance of where you're at with your sexuality now as there wont be any experimenting. What do you think? I know this is easier said than done, but I thought I would float the idea anyway to see what your thoughts are. Also, try to take some reassurance in that people can still figure out their sexuality without experimenting, it can just be a long process that you have to be patient with. I think that in your kind of situation, there can be a need to know straight away, but our sexuality journeys are often long and complex.

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5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's fair enough. I think that with the position you're in, it might be that there has to be some acceptance of where you're at with your sexuality now as there wont be any experimenting. What do you think? I know this is easier said than done, but I thought I would float the idea anyway to see what your thoughts are. Also, try to take some reassurance in that people can still figure out their sexuality without experimenting, it can just be a long process that you have to be patient with. I think that in your kind of situation, there can be a need to know straight away, but our sexuality journeys are often long and complex.

Hey! I agree. If I could experiment it could be easier.  Sometimes these things take time. Sometimes I hear of people who don’t realize their sexuality until much later in life. It would be easier if someone could tell me who I am, but that’s not how life works lol. I guess it’s all just part of the journey. Thanks for the advice!! 

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