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May I please have some advice?


Eve_rose    

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I am bi. I have come out to my two closest friends and I want to come out to my dad and stepmom but I don't know if they will accept me or not. The topic of LGBTQ+ hasn't really come up at all. Yesterday I had one of my closest friends over and I told my dad that they go by they/them pronouns and I told him that they wanted to be referred to as they/then pronouns and he said that it would take some time for that to happen and he didn't understand what I was saying. Also this one time on a commercial or something like that there were two guys kissing and he kind of looked away and made a disgusted face. I am so confused he says one thing but does something else. Does anyone know what I should do?

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Girl same. My parents live in different houses and I have come out to my mom, but not my dad. Just do it whenever you feel comfortable enough. 

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On 4/11/2022 at 1:05 AM, Eve_rose said:

I am bi. I have come out to my two closest friends and I want to come out to my dad and stepmom but I don't know if they will accept me or not. The topic of LGBTQ+ hasn't really come up at all. Yesterday I had one of my closest friends over and I told my dad that they go by they/them pronouns and I told him that they wanted to be referred to as they/then pronouns and he said that it would take some time for that to happen and he didn't understand what I was saying. Also this one time on a commercial or something like that there were two guys kissing and he kind of looked away and made a disgusted face. I am so confused he says one thing but does something else. Does anyone know what I should do?

Hey @Eve_rose

Thank you for coming to the community for advice. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your dad made the disgusted face when he watched the commercial. How did that make you feel?

I'm wondering, if you told them now and they didn't react well, do you think it would always be like that, or could it change with time?

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digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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Responding to your question, it made me feel that he will not be comfortable seeing that. So say one day I want to introduce my girlfriend I would never be comfortable in the house with her because I know that my dad isn't comfortable. Also I do think in the slightest that maybe, just maybe he might be able to accept it over time, but that will take a long time to happen even if it does happen. I did come out to my stepmom and she took it well so that is a plus.

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Hey there,

Sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. I actually already wrote out a reply, but when I checked the day after, it didn't send; my bad. 

I'm glad it went well telling your stepmom; how are you feeling after doing that? Also, with the situation you're in with your dad, i'm wondering, would you like to read through this support guide and let me know what you think? https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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  • 3 months later...

Hi!! I came out to my mom but not my dad (I’m also bi) what I did is I made a paper basically explaining bisexuality, and I had the flag on there, and the definition, my pronouns (she/her they/them) kind of like that. I told her I wanted to talk to her and when she came it i just handed her the paper. It’s SO much easier than saying the words “I’m bisexual” trust me :))) 

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  • 2 months later...

I also came out to my mom not my dad, but she took it really well. Now I can finally put up all my flags i bought without her knowing, and i can be myself. It's been great since i came out now me and my girlfriend can be honest with my mom. 🙃

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  • 2 weeks later...
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