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hi so i have been friends with these 2 girls for 5 years, we've had our ups and downs but recently, around a couple of months ago, they said i make them feel bad and i always vent without asking and stuff like that. I obviously didn't know I did that so I apologized and changed for them. I liked who I changed into. I felt I wasn't so sensitive, I didn't jump to conclusions, I helped whenever I could. But the one girl didnt think so. Lets call her C. C said the other day i was a piece of garbage and brought up experiences from a couple months ago from when I was really judgy and bossy. She also told my other friends my 2 crushes while saying that I "thought the attention was always on me." Which I didn't. I hated attention on me. Loathed it even. And so I didnt say that because I was just in shock because she got so mad over nothing, like I didnt even say anything except ask if they were mad and she goes crazy and insults me. Keep in mind C is somebody whos incredibly stubborn, always is judgy, has absolutely no filter, and thinks she can say whatever and nobody will be affected by it. And me, I'm the quiet pushover who only wants my friends to be happy and do what they enjoy. But after she said that, she told one of my "friends" an experience  i did that i regret (it was done months ago) and i dont know what else she said. I have no other friends so thats why ive stayed with C and I and I has always been so kind and caring and has been with me through hell and helped me through it, but her and C are closer than I ever was with the both of them. Ive always had issues with being left out in the trio and they always claim im mad when im hurt. What do I do? I have no friends when I go back to school and i told C she constantly manipulates me and gaslights me (which she does) and thats when she called me a piece of garbage. She has made "jokes" that hurt me, she's made me insecure about my body and what I'm  wearing because shes so judgy, shes made me feel dumb on multiple occasions and has called me dumb, and had invalidated my feelings when i try to talk about them. But then she says i'm worse than her. But i know im not, but i cant be sure. Am i a bad person? My parents say im not. Same with my family and I. But C makes me second guess saying my opinion and saying how I feel, and she makes me feel like a horrible person. Also, C and I constantly back each other up and defend each other but they never defend me. 

Edited by val
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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Welcome to the Ditch the Label community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to the users.

It sounds like your friendship is really tricky at the moment; from what you've said, I can see that you've made an effort to take her feedback on board and improve the relationship, but that she is doing things to hurt you as well. How are you feeling about all of this? I can imagine it must be pretty hurtful and upsetting. 

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On 3/25/2022 at 5:54 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Welcome to the Ditch the Label community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to the users.

It sounds like your friendship is really tricky at the moment; from what you've said, I can see that you've made an effort to take her feedback on board and improve the relationship, but that she is doing things to hurt you as well. How are you feeling about all of this? I can imagine it must be pretty hurtful and upsetting. 

i am feeling hurt and i just feel sad they think i dont care about them. me and I talked a bit and it went well but me and C didnt and i have to see them tomorrow at school and i have so much anxiety i cant sleep. 

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Did you manage to fall asleep in the end? Also, how was it seeing them today?

hi i did manage to and i didnt go to school today bc im just really down and i have bad anxiety when thinking about it, i am talking to I and C i havent heard from thankfully i dont like her anymore (as a friend) so yeah im just worried for tmr bc my parents are making me go bc ive missed sm school

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11 hours ago, val said:

hi i did manage to and i didnt go to school today bc im just really down and i have bad anxiety when thinking about it, i am talking to I and C i havent heard from thankfully i dont like her anymore (as a friend) so yeah im just worried for tmr bc my parents are making me go bc ive missed sm school

Hey,

How do you think school will go tomorrow? Also, what can you do to help you calm down; what's worked before?

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

How do you think school will go tomorrow? Also, what can you do to help you calm down; what's worked before?

i think its goint to be ok, i talked to the school and they offered a bunch of help which im so grateful for and i usually listen to music or read to calm down, or eat ice cream😊

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

It's good to hear that you know of a few things to help you cam down when you need it. Would you like me to share some other tips with you as well? Also, would you like to let us know how school goes?

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It's good to hear that you know of a few things to help you cam down when you need it. Would you like me to share some other tips with you as well? Also, would you like to let us know how school goes?

yes and yes 

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4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It's good to hear that you know of a few things to help you cam down when you need it. Would you like me to share some other tips with you as well? Also, would you like to let us know how school goes?

school was ok I ended up not talking to me or even looking at me so i guess shes a puppet for C now lol but i almost had a breakdown mid class and ended up skipping a class and hid in the bathroom bc it was scary and my anxiety was going crazy but yea

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19 hours ago, val said:

school was ok I ended up not talking to me or even looking at me so i guess shes a puppet for C now lol but i almost had a breakdown mid class and ended up skipping a class and hid in the bathroom bc it was scary and my anxiety was going crazy but yea

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about the anxiety. Was this because of what happened, or is something else going on? 

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On 3/31/2022 at 6:59 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about the anxiety. Was this because of what happened, or is something else going on? 

it was a mix of what was going on and just because i have social anxiety😭 it freaks me out to be alone 

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6 hours ago, val said:

it was a mix of what was going on and just because i have social anxiety😭 it freaks me out to be alone 

Hey there,

That's interesting that you get freaked out when alone. What kinds of thoughts and feelings do you have when you're alone? 

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