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  1. I am currently a college student trying to find housing for next year. the people i initially was going to live in an apartment with turned toxic and cliquey, so I decided yesterday to find other people to live with. This has been really anxiety inducing and a tough decision (though I know it's for the better). It would have been more convenient to live with those people because I already know all of them, but I know it wouldn't be good for my mental health. I put out a message on my school's social platform that I was looking for roommates, and I'm feeling restless because no one has messaged me yet even though it has only been two days. I have until May 18th or so to get a group, but the thought of possibly not getting housing is eating at my soul. I have also decided I don't want to be friends with two of the people in that group. I've had a feeling for months now that these are not my kind of people and they are too abrasive and negative for me. I want to distance myself from them, but I have most of my classes in common with one of them, we live on the same floor, and we have spent a lot of time together this academic year. How do I slowly reduce my time with them without making things awkward?
  2. val

    friend drama

    hi so i have been friends with these 2 girls for 5 years, we've had our ups and downs but recently, around a couple of months ago, they said i make them feel bad and i always vent without asking and stuff like that. I obviously didn't know I did that so I apologized and changed for them. I liked who I changed into. I felt I wasn't so sensitive, I didn't jump to conclusions, I helped whenever I could. But the one girl didnt think so. Lets call her C. C said the other day i was a piece of garbage and brought up experiences from a couple months ago from when I was really judgy and bossy. She also told my other friends my 2 crushes while saying that I "thought the attention was always on me." Which I didn't. I hated attention on me. Loathed it even. And so I didnt say that because I was just in shock because she got so mad over nothing, like I didnt even say anything except ask if they were mad and she goes crazy and insults me. Keep in mind C is somebody whos incredibly stubborn, always is judgy, has absolutely no filter, and thinks she can say whatever and nobody will be affected by it. And me, I'm the quiet pushover who only wants my friends to be happy and do what they enjoy. But after she said that, she told one of my "friends" an experience i did that i regret (it was done months ago) and i dont know what else she said. I have no other friends so thats why ive stayed with C and I and I has always been so kind and caring and has been with me through hell and helped me through it, but her and C are closer than I ever was with the both of them. Ive always had issues with being left out in the trio and they always claim im mad when im hurt. What do I do? I have no friends when I go back to school and i told C she constantly manipulates me and gaslights me (which she does) and thats when she called me a piece of garbage. She has made "jokes" that hurt me, she's made me insecure about my body and what I'm wearing because shes so judgy, shes made me feel dumb on multiple occasions and has called me dumb, and had invalidated my feelings when i try to talk about them. But then she says i'm worse than her. But i know im not, but i cant be sure. Am i a bad person? My parents say im not. Same with my family and I. But C makes me second guess saying my opinion and saying how I feel, and she makes me feel like a horrible person. Also, C and I constantly back each other up and defend each other but they never defend me.
  3. I dont know if my friend treats me as a real friend. I trust her a lot and we call pretty often. But im not sure if she talks around my back and she does talk about others to me. I don't know if she also make fun of me in front of her friends. How can I try overcoming my worries?
  4. Hi.. I need your opinion how to deal with "occasionally" bully best friend. Whenever we are with new people or a distant friend group, she starts joking about me.. (like; how late im gonna be for a meeting, how my sense of humor sucks.....) She especially does that if there is a boy around she likes... (not to brag but i think that means she is threatened by me ). This friendship is 2 year old so i know when she is jealous of me (because she immidiately starts teasing me in front of people.) Like; She is making a tiktok for her summer memories and there is a ugly picture of me in every version she makes..... Thats our friendship......The current problem is there is an upcoming party with 10 more people (which im closer with). She already started joking about me in party planning text group. PARTY THAT I INVITED HER...... What should i do if she continues teasing me ? (I will definitely go to party because my another close friend and i planned it together)
  5. A close friend began acting distant, if not resentful, towards me, a few months ago. An insult, eye rolls, the silent treatment ensued, and I kept my distance for a few weeks for things to mellow. Just as we begin to act somewhat normal again—texting, joking—she asks for my help: she needs an invitation embedded into an email (aka, composing an email, and dragging the image into the body). The invitation was for a party I AM NOT invited to, that she is hosting! She profusely thanked me for my help (though I’m sure anyone else with basic computer skills could have assisted with the task, like her husband!), and didn’t say another word. It’s too psychopathic for me to understand intentionally hurting someone—especially a FRIEND—so maliciously. I did not give her any reaction, because I believe she was provoking, but she does know I’m mad as hell based on my ignoring her (unlike me) & body language a few days later. She cowered away. Is a “friend” like her even deserving of my piece of mind? Or a discussion? It feels so toxic!
  6. Hi, I am a college student, and when things were knew, when we didn't know each other, our college teacher made a group of 5 people, who were active in class in the beginning, the group included me. So I got close to this girl, we used to talk, but we didn't really know eachother as we had never met. Also I was kinda extrovert back then, now I guess I am not. So as time passed, I started feeling fake, with the group, I felt this is not me. I changed also, and I found new friends, with whom I connected more, related more and who were better for my mental health. And during this course of time, shit happened in my previous group and I got detached, but I was still connected with the girl I got close with, but then I realised that she was only good with me, otherwise she was not a good human being, she was fake, jealous and very competitive. But she stood for me, always. And lately, as we haven't been talking, like completely, neither of us text. But recently, as I got more marks in a college test, with my new group of friends, she kinda approached me. Now the issue is, I feel the friendship is done, it kinda feels toxic now, also she is not good with my new friends. And I am a overthinker, and I feel guilty about little things. So now, even when I am sure that I dont want that friendship, it still somehow makes me overthink that what if I am being a bad human being. See I know, I cant be a good person in everyones story, but I just get this doubt that am I doing bad to her. I know she has been there for me, and I have been there for her too, but then I guess how you treat others matter as well. So any suggestions what should I do ? And I guess we both know that friendship is done. Please help.
  7. I often blame my feelings on being a teenager, but this time I don't think I'm overreacting. I have been friends with this girl since primary school, and we re-connected 2 years ago. We have been inseparable ever since, except in the past 3 months her behaviour towards me has been questionable. I always make an effort to support her emotionally, I am myself around her but she doesn't put in much. The most I get is a reluctant 'well done' whereas I hype her up feeling genuinely proud of her achievements, making me want to dumb myself down as to not look as if I'm 'smarter' than her. After leaving me out today, I left school feeling so awful and began questioning my own character. I don't think I have hurt her, I did ask, but im just mentally deflated. She is not in anyway a bad person: she is known well for being extremely kind to others. So why am I feeling like this? I would really appreciate advice on whether I should just continue as I am or re-consider my friendships? thanks
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