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should my friend group drop someone from our group?


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the person that my group is thinking about dropping is honestly so inconsiderate to everyone around them. He has made fun of every interest I have, music taste, shows I watch, clothes, clubs and activities I participate in etc. I straight up don't listen to some artists now because of him. He is insensitive to other people's trauma. But I'm not sure what to do because he recently started drinking again and he will probably threaten to commit suc!de if we say anything. Any time he is criticized by anyone in our group he gets really defensive and says thing like "I can't believe you guys all hate me." the only he really likes in our friend group is my girlfriend. The current plan is to tomorrow  talk to him about his toxic behavior and because he really doesn't like the rest of us my girlfriend is going to do it, if he changes the way acts we won't drop him and if it goes badly and after a while he hasnt done anything we drop him. Should we reconsider or handle this in a different way?

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Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like they may be pretty emotionally vulnerable at the moment with what you said about the drinking and how they may threaten to take their life. If you think they will do that, could you let their family know that they may need to keep an eye on them to help them stay safe? If it helps, you could pass on the following information:

  • For people who are in a mental health crisis, they can call a support line to talk to someone immediately. Here is a list of worldwide numbers: https://www.befrienders.org
  • Also, if they feel like they might hurt themselves, they can call the emergency services for help straight away

Also, I think that with actually speaking to him, I think that when someone has a problem with another person, it's always best for them to speak to the person directly. However, as you all have a problem with him, it might be best for the person who is the most affected to speak with him alone and see how he reacts. I am just aware that he seems vulnerable and if more than one person does it close together, it could be overwhelming for him. What do you think?


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