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Friendship Problems (Just Recognized This 5 Minutes Ago)


welches_242    

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     I've slowly been falling out of contact with just about all of my friends. I only really talk to any of them at school. It just hurts a lot. I've become a bit of a floater - not really hanging out with anyone specifically - and I hate it. I love all the people I am friends with but at the same time I also love and thrive on having a stable friend group which I am currently lacking. With one friend group I'm only close with 2 or 3ish people while the other friend group is just unstable as heck. I know nothing will change unless I put an effort into fixing it, and I will be. 

     Additionally, my goals in school have changed from grade 9 to this semester which really has been throwing me around with who I am hanging out with and where I am in the building. Little things like this are constantly changing how close I am to any of my friends. I am still getting used to this, but I am working on it. 

    Furthermore, one of my newer friends is toxic and is not only hurting themself but everyone around them. I am going to start avoiding them if they keep what they are doing up. They keep pushing me and all my friends down not only to project their own insecurities, but also to make them feel like they are superior to everyone else. A couple friends and I are going to speak to a trusted adult as soon as possible to help handle the situation due to my toxic friend crossing a line. My current belief is that this toxicity is rooted in the stressful situations they continue to put themselves in. 

(I really liked my little hook/topic sentence. It really was direct and concise 🙂)

(I also am craving cookies rn)

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On 2/11/2024 at 1:53 AM, welches_242 said:

     I've slowly been falling out of contact with just about all of my friends. I only really talk to any of them at school. It just hurts a lot. I've become a bit of a floater - not really hanging out with anyone specifically - and I hate it. I love all the people I am friends with but at the same time I also love and thrive on having a stable friend group which I am currently lacking. With one friend group I'm only close with 2 or 3ish people while the other friend group is just unstable as heck. I know nothing will change unless I put an effort into fixing it, and I will be. 

     Additionally, my goals in school have changed from grade 9 to this semester which really has been throwing me around with who I am hanging out with and where I am in the building. Little things like this are constantly changing how close I am to any of my friends. I am still getting used to this, but I am working on it. 

    Furthermore, one of my newer friends is toxic and is not only hurting themself but everyone around them. I am going to start avoiding them if they keep what they are doing up. They keep pushing me and all my friends down not only to project their own insecurities, but also to make them feel like they are superior to everyone else. A couple friends and I are going to speak to a trusted adult as soon as possible to help handle the situation due to my toxic friend crossing a line. My current belief is that this toxicity is rooted in the stressful situations they continue to put themselves in. 

(I really liked my little hook/topic sentence. It really was direct and concise 🙂)

(I also am craving cookies rn)

Hi @welches_242 I'm now also craving cookies 🤤  I would love a homemade chocolate chip cookie right now. What about you? What are your favourite cookies? 

I'm sorry it's taken a while for me to reply to your post. From everything you've been telling me I get a sense that you are feeling a little bit lost at the moment. Is that right? You mentioned feeling like a bit of a floater and it sounds like this has happened gradually, which might be the reason why you've only just noticed. Also, it sounds more like it's the circumstance (eg where your classes are) and not because you've had a falling out or anything like that. Hopefully this means that it will be fairly easy to reconnect with your friends again. You mentioned that you are planning on fixing it. Can I ask, do you have any ideas on what you want to do? Don't worry if not - we can think of something together if you like. 

Thanks as well for sharing what's been going on with this newer friend you have. You strike me as very thoughtful and mature and I think it's great that you and your friends want to talk to a trusted adult.  The way your friend is treating everyone is not OK and it sounds like they could do with some help themselves.  Hopefully, by telling a trusted adult they can not only make sure that your friend stops treating you like this but also get your friend the help they need. Did you get a chance to speak to someone this week? 

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On 2/16/2024 at 6:15 AM, Aurora said:

Hi @welches_242 I'm now also craving cookies 🤤  I would love a homemade chocolate chip cookie right now. What about you? What are your favourite cookies? 

I'm sorry it's taken a while for me to reply to your post. From everything you've been telling me I get a sense that you are feeling a little bit lost at the moment. Is that right? You mentioned feeling like a bit of a floater and it sounds like this has happened gradually, which might be the reason why you've only just noticed. Also, it sounds more like it's the circumstance (eg where your classes are) and not because you've had a falling out or anything like that. Hopefully this means that it will be fairly easy to reconnect with your friends again. You mentioned that you are planning on fixing it. Can I ask, do you have any ideas on what you want to do? Don't worry if not - we can think of something together if you like. 

Thanks as well for sharing what's been going on with this newer friend you have. You strike me as very thoughtful and mature and I think it's great that you and your friends want to talk to a trusted adult.  The way your friend is treating everyone is not OK and it sounds like they could do with some help themselves.  Hopefully, by telling a trusted adult they can not only make sure that your friend stops treating you like this but also get your friend the help they need. Did you get a chance to speak to someone this week? 

I have been dying to make cookies for so long. My favourite are these smartie cookies my dad used to make for me and my siblings. I LOVE baking those. 

I've definitely been feeling a bit lost. 

I tried hanging out with my one friend group again for the week and I just didn't really click as well anymore with most of them. I definitely reconnected with a couple of them. However it is a large friend group (7/9ish people) so not everyone is as close with everyone). On another note, I definitely am starting to integrate into the other friend group I hang out with. There's two people in that group out of the 5/6ish I haven't been able to talk to as much, but they are still awesome.

Additionally, the unstable friend group has gotten considerably more stable in the past week. We talked to adults about problems and its getting dealt with. Half of us also got together and had a sleepover and things are going really well there.

Overall, its a really go with the flow thing and I've come to terms with that.

Also the friend is doing much better now. Still a couple minor issues but they have made efforts to feel better and have made a lot of progression to feeling better in the past week. 

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On 2/17/2024 at 7:41 PM, welches_242 said:

I have been dying to make cookies for so long. My favourite are these smartie cookies my dad used to make for me and my siblings. I LOVE baking those. 

I've definitely been feeling a bit lost. 

I tried hanging out with my one friend group again for the week and I just didn't really click as well anymore with most of them. I definitely reconnected with a couple of them. However it is a large friend group (7/9ish people) so not everyone is as close with everyone). On another note, I definitely am starting to integrate into the other friend group I hang out with. There's two people in that group out of the 5/6ish I haven't been able to talk to as much, but they are still awesome.

Additionally, the unstable friend group has gotten considerably more stable in the past week. We talked to adults about problems and its getting dealt with. Half of us also got together and had a sleepover and things are going really well there.

Overall, its a really go with the flow thing and I've come to terms with that.

Also the friend is doing much better now. Still a couple minor issues but they have made efforts to feel better and have made a lot of progression to feeling better in the past week. 

They sound delicious!! Makes me want to bake cookies right now! 

I know this might not be the most helpful thing to hear right now but I find that feeling a bit lost can be a natural part of human development. I think most of us will go through through phases where we're figuring things out and are for example learning new things about ourself. However,  some of our friends might not or they might be going through some different changes to us or they might be experiencing other things. During these times we might find it difficult to connect with them and we might not feel as close as we did. However, it doesn't mean that it will always feel like that. Things might change again or we might discover that we now have more in common with someone else and that they understand us better. It sounds like that might be something you're experiencing right now. Is that fair to say? How are you feeling about it all now? 

I'm really glad to hear that things are much better with the other friend of yours. And it's great that you've got some adult support there, too. It sounds like this has made a big difference, not only for you and your friends, who were being hurt but also for your friend who is struggling ❤️

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