IDK

[sflowergirl]

24 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

@Monsoon :) you may have skipped over because aurora was here :) 

hey HRU??

[Emberfrost12]

4 hours ago, sflowergirl said:

hey HRU??

Not great, I spent a double block (an hour and a half) arguing with someone about them joking about self harm, and they just pretended that they hadn't joked about it in the first place and eventually I got loud enough that the teacher told me to be quiet and pulled out the 'if you can't say anything else don't say anything at all' card. Like, damn, I'm not the one not being nice

[Emberfrost12]

2 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Not great, I spent a double block (an hour and a half) arguing with someone about them joking about self harm, and they just pretended that they hadn't joked about it in the first place and eventually I got loud enough that the teacher told me to be quiet and pulled out the 'if you can't say anything else don't say anything at all' card. Like, damn, I'm not the one not being nice

I'm thinking about telling the teacher what happened, and I know that my table group would support me. However....I don't want to deal with the conflict, but honestly the person who was joking about it is the SAME person as the person who gave my friend a tylenol without saying what it was, and I am so done with him

[sflowergirl]

6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Not great, I spent a double block (an hour and a half) arguing with someone about them joking about self harm, and they just pretended that they hadn't joked about it in the first place and eventually I got loud enough that the teacher told me to be quiet and pulled out the 'if you can't say anything else don't say anything at all' card. Like, damn, I'm not the one not being nice

what the actual frick WHO in the world would joke about something as serious as SH

I would if I were you tell the teacher I mean that is so crappy. I would probably be shouting at them, I have a really bad temper so I dont blame you for getting loud. 

[Monsoon]

On 10/24/2022 at 9:40 PM, Emberfrost12 said:

Totally possible, I think something happened when I was pretty young, because, ah, coping has never been something i'm good at. I mean, I bullied someone when I was nine-ish

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing that with me. When you say you think something when you were young, are you talking about the bullying or something else? Also, if you like, I can share some ways for you to feel more connected to your feelings. Just let me know if you'd like that :) 

[Aurora]

23 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Okay, that would be nice to keep thing organized

Hi there, I've sent you a confidential support request. I hope you got it

[Emberfrost12]

7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing that with me. When you say you think something when you were young, are you talking about the bullying or something else? Also, if you like, I can share some ways for you to feel more connected to your feelings. Just let me know if you'd like that :) 

Something else, I think that maaaybe having no friends in grades one, two, and three is still affecting me?

Yes please, I’d really appreciate that 

[Emberfrost12]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I've sent you a confidential support request. I hope you got it

Hmmm, my email said I did but it’s not showing up

[Emberfrost12]

3 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Hmmm, my email said I did but it’s not showing up

Nevermind, found it :)

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Something else, I think that maaaybe having no friends in grades one, two, and three is still affecting me?

Yes please, I’d really appreciate that 

Hey,

Would you like to tell me more about how having no friends in the past might still be affecting you?

Also, I'm glad to hear that you would really appreciate some strategies. From what you said, I think that you might be struggling to connect with your feelings in a way, and I think this because of what you said around feeling detached from your body, and this can be a sign of having distance from your emotional experiences. Is that fair to say? If I'm on the right tracks, let me know and we can then move forward. 

[Emberfrost12]

3 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Would you like to tell me more about how having no friends in the past might still be affecting you?

Also, I'm glad to hear that you would really appreciate some strategies. From what you said, I think that you might be struggling to connect with your feelings in a way, and I think this because of what you said around feeling detached from your body, and this can be a sign of having distance from your emotional experiences. Is that fair to say? If I'm on the right tracks, let me know and we can then move forward. 

It's kind of the theory I think would be most likely, so, when I was in primary and lower elementary, I went to a extremely small school, and there was no one else my age except one other person who, uh, we were kind of friends because we had to be, but we didn't really like each other. We both got really really mad at each other, and i'd say one of my earliest memories (Because I don't have a lot of early memories) is of me standing in a tree and yelling at her about something and all she responded with was 'I don't care'. The closest other memory i have to that time is of my teacher heavily, heavily implying that I wasn't doing a good enough job and wasn't good enough and the other person was ahead while I was behind. So that's great. So I think that this affects me now by making me protective of my friends/afraid to lose them and by making me think I'm not good enough.

I think you're on the right tracks, that sounds right

[Emberfrost12]

18 hours ago, sflowergirl said:

what the actual frick WHO in the world would joke about something as serious as SH

I would if I were you tell the teacher I mean that is so crappy. I would probably be shouting at them, I have a really bad temper so I dont blame you for getting loud. 

I don't know!!!! He jokes literally about everything, with one of his most common topics being 9/11, I mean damn man stop!!!!!! He joked about conversion therapy once without knowing it still exists, I was hella mad at me for that one. Worst part is I can't seem to stay mad at people so I keep on forgiving him. And he asked if he could commission me to draw something for him today and i said yes!!! At least I'm getting paid for it but I need to stop forgiving him

I was going to tell the teacher but she wasn't here today. And I'm not going to be mad enough tomorrow to do that

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

It's kind of the theory I think would be most likely, so, when I was in primary and lower elementary, I went to a extremely small school, and there was no one else my age except one other person who, uh, we were kind of friends because we had to be, but we didn't really like each other. We both got really really mad at each other, and i'd say one of my earliest memories (Because I don't have a lot of early memories) is of me standing in a tree and yelling at her about something and all she responded with was 'I don't care'. The closest other memory i have to that time is of my teacher heavily, heavily implying that I wasn't doing a good enough job and wasn't good enough and the other person was ahead while I was behind. So that's great. So I think that this affects me now by making me protective of my friends/afraid to lose them and by making me think I'm not good enough.

I think you're on the right tracks, that sounds right

Hey there,

It sounds like that experience with the person you were kind of friends with has left a big impact on you. Your feelings are completely valid, and when we are younger, it's much easier to absorb those negative messages. However, at this point, you have all of the emotional strength you need to change the way you think about this. When you feel like you're good enough, it would be helpful for you to say, in your head or out loud, why you are worthy of that friendship and what the other person likes about you. Making this kind of effort to change your thinking will help transform your self-esteem. Remember, you have all of this power already, and you can take the situation back into your own hands. 

Also, there are quite a few things you can do to reconnect with your feelings. 

1) For the next week or two, it would be helpful for you to keep a daily journal (this could be on paper on on your phone), and at the end of each day, it would be good to make a short note of your main emotional experiences throughout the day. So, for the events, try to write how they made you feel and why. 

2) When we feel detatched from our emotions, a part of this process can often involve pushing close people away. So, have a think about if you are shutting off people around you. If the answer is yes, set yourself a small target to achieve in the next week or two to reconnect with that person. 

What do you think?

[Emberfrost12]

6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like that experience with the person you were kind of friends with has left a big impact on you. Your feelings are completely valid, and when we are younger, it's much easier to absorb those negative messages. However, at this point, you have all of the emotional strength you need to change the way you think about this. When you feel like you're good enough, it would be helpful for you to say, in your head or out loud, why you are worthy of that friendship and what the other person likes about you. Making this kind of effort to change your thinking will help transform your self-esteem. Remember, you have all of this power already, and you can take the situation back into your own hands. 

Also, there are quite a few things you can do to reconnect with your feelings. 

1) For the next week or two, it would be helpful for you to keep a daily journal (this could be on paper on on your phone), and at the end of each day, it would be good to make a short note of your main emotional experiences throughout the day. So, for the events, try to write how they made you feel and why. 

2) When we feel detatched from our emotions, a part of this process can often involve pushing close people away. So, have a think about if you are shutting off people around you. If the answer is yes, set yourself a small target to achieve in the next week or two to reconnect with that person. 

What do you think?

Thank you for that, I’ll try it

I’ll try keeping the journal, I am historically really, really bad at remembering to write in it, but i’ll try. For the how I feel and why, do you want me to guess how I feel or try and figure it out?

i don’t think that I’ve been pushing anyone away, so I think I’m good for this one

[Emberfrost12]

Honestly though, I kind of feel like I brought all of this upon myself, or I'm making it up, because i feel perfectly okay even though I know I'm not. And I know this'll probably sound dumb, but...why do I need emotions? I seem to be getting on mostly fine without them, and if i do have them how am I going to manage them after not feeling them for so long? I'm not happy, but at least I'm not sad, so....

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Well, I think it might be difficult at times to know exactly how you’re feeling, so it might involve some educated guesses, but it would be helpful to write down any thoughts you’ve had and then try to think of an emoji face to go with it; what do you think about that?

Also, that’s a really good question about emotions. Although you feel like you’re doing fine without them, I think that they are just being pushed away, meaning that they aren’t processing. When this happens, they tend to all build up and then come out in ways you don’t like; what do you think? Emotions are so important because they help us to navigate life and are a great source of positive energy for us. They help us to connect, aspire, and reach goals.

[Emberfrost12]

28 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Well, I think it might be difficult at times to know exactly how you’re feeling, so it might involve some educated guesses, but it would be helpful to write down any thoughts you’ve had and then try to think of an emoji face to go with it; what do you think about that?

Also, that’s a really good question about emotions. Although you feel like you’re doing fine without them, I think that they are just being pushed away, meaning that they aren’t processing. When this happens, they tend to all build up and then come out in ways you don’t like; what do you think? Emotions are so important because they help us to navigate life and are a great source of positive energy for us. They help us to connect, aspire, and reach goals.

Okay, that makes sense

That also makes sense, thank you for that  :)

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Okay, that makes sense

That also makes sense, thank you for that  :)

That's okay!

Would you like to give that a go for the next couple of weeks and then let us know how it goes? There's no pressure if you don't though, it's completely up to you. 

[Emberfrost12]

9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

That's okay!

Would you like to give that a go for the next couple of weeks and then let us know how it goes? There's no pressure if you don't though, it's completely up to you. 

I'll tell you :)

[Monsoon]

9 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I'll tell you :)

I'll look out for your comment. Good luck with it all! :) 

[Emberfrost12]

I feel like I shouldn't be this dependent. Honestly, I feel like if I know I'm going nowhere, why should I try? If I have to put this much effort into just being at the same level as the next person, how am I going to have enough effort to go beyond? And why am I so weak? Other people have been through a million times the amount of crap I've been through, so why are they able to cope better than me? I know that this probably sounds petty and unnecessary, but I just need to throw this out there. I don't know

[Emberfrost12]

On 10/27/2022 at 1:57 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like that experience with the person you were kind of friends with has left a big impact on you. Your feelings are completely valid, and when we are younger, it's much easier to absorb those negative messages. However, at this point, you have all of the emotional strength you need to change the way you think about this. When you feel like you're good enough, it would be helpful for you to say, in your head or out loud, why you are worthy of that friendship and what the other person likes about you. Making this kind of effort to change your thinking will help transform your self-esteem. Remember, you have all of this power already, and you can take the situation back into your own hands. 

With that other person, it's extra bad because she got moved up a grade and I didn't...

[Emberfrost12]

I should be able to handle this on my own. Other people seem to be able to.

[Emberfrost12]

I mean, at this point I'm just selfish and dependant

[Emberfrost12]

I'm kind of tempted to hide all of these