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Emberfrost12
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27 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

But while it was better, it still wasn't great. I just want to give in, I know i don't have the strength to fight everything off, and i'm going to have to give in. The question is, how long do i try? Do I give in now and make it easier on myself, or do I keep fighting and give in when there's no other option? It's that or I become a different person who doesn't have these problems, and has a purpose, or I just stay myself and go nowhere in life. I know it's kind of weird, because I should want to be living just for the sake of living, but really, I need something to live FOR and I don't know what that is.

Also i've always had this strange idea that my body is not my own, which could be from dysphoria, or it could not, but for some reason I feel like my subconsciousness is another person who's just given up on taking my body back and just wants to help me, if that makes any sense? And part of the idea of getting rid of my personality/becoming neutral is that it would give my subconsciousness an opportunity to take my body back? I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's what i've been thinking. Idk

I'm glad to hear it was a little better but hear you when you say it's not great.

None of your feelings are weird - you are simply being open and honest which is a good thing. Firstly, can I check that you feel safe right now?

It's important for us to check in with you when you mention giving in, as although it's a valid feeling, I'd like to know you're safe.

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1 hour ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Today was a ton better.

She would've said it didn't matter and I didn't want to escalate that conversation

@Blondieย I think that you would agree with me that a students mental health and their well being is more important than the lesson

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5 minutes ago, TheOriginalAxel said:

@Blondieย I think that you would agree with me that a students mental health and their well being is more important than the lesson

Of course! 100%

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On 10/19/2022 at 11:18 AM, Emberfrost12 said:

Yeah, we all match in chaos levels and we go together really well. They accept me, and i'm really honest with them, so they know what's going on

u ok??

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4 hours ago, Blondie said:

I'm glad to hear it was a little better but hear you when you say it's not great.

None of your feelings are weird - you are simply being open and honest which is a good thing. Firstly, can I check that you feel safe right now?

It's important for us to check in with you when you mention giving in, as although it's a valid feeling, I'd like to know you're safe.

Yes, I think i'm safe

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3 hours ago, TheOriginalAxel said:

@Blondieย I think that you would agree with me that a students mental health and their well being is more important than the lesson

Yeah, however, i'd rather be struggling and around other people than struggling and on my own

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6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Yes, I think i'm safe

I'm glad to hear that. You can aways let us know if this changes - we're here for you.

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10 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Yeah, however, i'd rather be struggling and around other people than struggling and on my own

But you're not on your own. You'll never be alone. Everyone is here for you if you need us

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10 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Yeah, however, i'd rather be struggling and around other people than struggling and on my own

Hi there, thank you so much for being so open with us. I know it can be tough to talk about our thoughts. Please know that we are always here and you can talk to us about everything. From what you're saying it sounds like your thoughts and feelings are getting really intense at the moment. Is that right? I'm wondering if you've been able to see the counsellor at your school yet. If not, do you think you could ask someone about it again? From what you've been saying to sounds like you could really do with a safe space at school where you can talk about everything that's going on at the moment. What do you think?ย 

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1 hour ago, TheOriginalAxel said:

But you're not on your own. You'll never be alone. Everyone is here for you if you need us

ye we am here! talk to us!!! you are an great amazing person. I really wanna help. sending many hugs!

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6 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, thank you so much for being so open with us. I know it can be tough to talk about our thoughts. Please know that we are always here and you can talk to us about everything. From what you're saying it sounds like your thoughts and feelings are getting really intense at the moment. Is that right? I'm wondering if you've been able to see the counsellor at your school yet. If not, do you think you could ask someone about it again? From what you've been saying to sounds like you could really do with a safe space at school where you can talk about everything that's going on at the moment. What do you think?ย 

Yes.

I haven't, but I don't want to bother them

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6 hours ago, TheOriginalAxel said:

But you're not on your own. You'll never be alone. Everyone is here for you if you need us

I mean that I'd rather have other people around me than not

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6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Yes.

I haven't, but I don't want to bother them

I really want to reassure you that you are not a bother at all. You deserve good support.

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On 10/20/2022 at 1:59 PM, Emberfrost12 said:

But while it was better, it still wasn't great. I just want to give in, I know i don't have the strength to fight everything off, and i'm going to have to give in. The question is, how long do i try? Do I give in now and make it easier on myself, or do I keep fighting and give in when there's no other option? It's that or I become a different person who doesn't have these problems, and has a purpose, or I just stay myself and go nowhere in life. I know it's kind of weird, because I should want to be living just for the sake of living, but really, I need something to live FOR and I don't know what that is.

Also i've always had this strange idea that my body is not my own, which could be from dysphoria, or it could not, but for some reason I feel like my subconsciousness is another person who's just given up on taking my body back and just wants to help me, if that makes any sense? And part of the idea of getting rid of my personality/becoming neutral is that it would give my subconsciousness an opportunity to take my body back? I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's what i've been thinking. Idk

Can you help me with this? If you can?

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1 hour ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Can you help me with this? If you can?

Hey, sometimes it can take time to grow into ourselves and find our passions and purpose. It can help if we allow ourselves to be open to trying new things and being open to challenge ourself with new things.

It can be a bit nerve racking when we first try new things but also quite freeing. It takes practice so itโ€™s good to start making small changes initially. So for example you could try joining a new club or trying a new hobby. How does that feel?

How long has this feeling of disconnection from your body been happening? Iโ€™d like to understand more about this.

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On 10/22/2022 at 11:37 AM, Blondie said:

Hey, sometimes it can take time to grow into ourselves and find our passions and purpose. It can help if we allow ourselves to be open to trying new things and being open to challenge ourself with new things.

It can be a bit nerve racking when we first try new things but also quite freeing. It takes practice so itโ€™s good to start making small changes initially. So for example you could try joining a new club or trying a new hobby. How does that feel?

How long has this feeling of disconnection from your body been happening? Iโ€™d like to understand more about this.

I actually joined my school's dance club, then realized i don't actually want to dance, so now I'm doing lighting for the performance and it's very fun and is now something i'm looking forward to :)

Uh, I don't really know how long it's been happening, but at best guess, I'd say roughly two years. Because I realize It probably sounds kind of strange, I'm going to explain it by comparison to a house scenario because I realize that this is going to sound weird no matter how I say it. So pretty much, it's like I rented a house a long time ago, but the landlords didn't have any other option other than to rent it out, and I often forget that I don't own it and every time they ask for me to give the house back I refuse, because I think I own it. If that makes any sense?

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13 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I actually joined my school's dance club, then realized i don't actually want to dance, so now I'm doing lighting for the performance and it's very fun and is now something i'm looking forward to :)

Uh, I don't really know how long it's been happening, but at best guess, I'd say roughly two years. Because I realize It probably sounds kind of strange, I'm going to explain it by comparison to a house scenario because I realize that this is going to sound weird no matter how I say it. So pretty much, it's like I rented a house a long time ago, but the landlords didn't have any other option other than to rent it out, and I often forget that I don't own it and every time they ask for me to give the house back I refuse, because I think I own it. If that makes any sense?

Hey there,

That's great that you discovered how much you enjoy the lighting; how is that going? :)

Also, that doesn't sound weird at all, and thank you for explaining more. It sounds like your spirit is distant from your physical body, and this can happen when people have been through difficult experiences, as 'leaving your body' can often be a way to cope with emotional pain when you don't have the skills to deal with them in another way. What do you think about this?ย 

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4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's great that you discovered how much you enjoy the lighting; how is that going? :)

Also, that doesn't sound weird at all, and thank you for explaining more. It sounds like your spirit is distant from your physical body, and this can happen when people have been through difficult experiences, as 'leaving your body' can often be a way to cope with emotional pain when you don't have the skills to deal with them in another way. What do you think about this?ย 

Pretty good :) I like to think Iโ€™m pretty good at it

ย 

i donโ€™t know; like, I see how that could happen but I donโ€™t know what difficult experience Iโ€™ve been through that could make that happen?

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5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Pretty good :) I like to think Iโ€™m pretty good at it

i donโ€™t know; like, I see how that could happen but I donโ€™t know what difficult experience Iโ€™ve been through that could make that happen?

I was thinking a bit earlier, and a few things that happened around that time are that one of my friends changed schools that year, and someone else was trying to make friends with my one other friend so I bullied her, probably because a) She was very similar to me and I thought she was a replacement for me, and b)I didn't want to lose more friends because I didn't really have friends from kindergarten to grade three, because I didn't really fit in with anyone, and I was always at ends with the one other person my age at school because I thought she was better than me (Small schools suck)

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Hey there,

It doesn't have to be one thing in particular, it can be that over time, you may have learnt to avoid your feelings and do that by detaching from situations/experiences that have been emotional for you. What do you think?ย 

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Just now, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It doesn't have to be one thing in particular, it can be that over time, you may have learnt to avoid your feelings and do that by detaching from situations/experiences that have been emotional for you. What do you think?ย 

Totally possible, I think something happened when I was pretty young, because, ah, coping has never been something i'm good at. I mean, I bullied someone when I was nine-ish

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On 10/4/2022 at 5:21 AM, Aurora said:

I'm glad to hear you decided not to have it on you today. From what you are saying it sounds like it's your thoughts that are making you feel unsafe and unsettled. I think you're right, it's aboutย finding a way to change the thoughts/feelings you've been getting. There are some techniques that can help you do this. I can tell you about these on here if youย  like. However, it might be more effective if you can see a counsellor, who can support you through this. How would you feel about seeing a counsellor and is there eg a counsellor at your school, who you could see?ย 

Can you tell me about the techniques? They got bad again :(

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15 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Can you tell me about the techniques? They got bad again :(

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Of course, no problem. I was wondering, whether it might be helpful if we continue this in the confidential support? I've noticed that you are having a few different conversations within this thread and it might help to keep this separate so it doesn't confuse things. What do you think?ย ย 

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1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. Of course, no problem. I was wondering, whether it might be helpful if we continue this in the confidential support? I've noticed that you are having a few different conversations within this thread and it might help to keep this separate so it doesn't confuse things. What do you think?ย ย 

Okay, that would be nice to keep thing organized

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17 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Totally possible, I think something happened when I was pretty young, because, ah, coping has never been something i'm good at. I mean, I bullied someone when I was nine-ish

@Monsoonย :) you may have skipped over because aurora was here :)ย 

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