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This topic contains content which has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Death, Disordered Eating, Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Suicide, Other, War

My vent 😭😭😭😭

Leilaaaa
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Alpha9th
Alpha9th

@-Axel-, wait a minute. First of all, what problems do you think you causing here? I really don't understand. You are friendly, supportive and active member of community from my point of view. An

Harper
Harper

Hi there, what's up? I'll see if I can help :)

Leilaaaa
Leilaaaa

I love being here. I like supporting people and I am grateful for the support and kindness everyone has and keeps on showing me so thank you all! @Monsoon @sflowergirl @Alpha9th

Leilaaaa Mythological

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1 minute ago, mxhaxnaeem said:

Oh noo :( How are you right now? is there anything in specific you would like to talk about, I'm here to listen :)

I'm currently drinking a hot chocolate as before coming online I was having a panic attack. Plus I spoke to eating disorder people today which was beneficial but they weighed me which is negative because I just want to number to go down. But its slowly decreasing.

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Just now, -Axel- said:

I'm currently drinking a hot chocolate as before coming online I was having a panic attack. Plus I spoke to eating disorder people today which was beneficial but they weighed me which is negative because I just want to number to go down. But its slowly decreasing.

What is making you feel panicked at the moment? I know emotions are so confusing. I had a general question, have you talked to the people weighing you? is it possible to tell them you don't feel comfortable seeing the scale? I am happy that you talked to people about this, that is very brave of you!

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Leilaaaa Mythological

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Just now, mxhaxnaeem said:

What is making you feel panicked at the moment? I know emotions are so confusing. I had a general question, have you talked to the people weighing you? is it possible to tell them you don't feel comfortable seeing the scale? I am happy that you talked to people about this, that is very brave of you!

It's the unknown, unknown about what tomorrow will bring. I know people say things do get better buts it's getting harder.  I spoke to the lady weighing me today, and she coveted it up but then I was asking to know the number. Maybe because I really want to loose it? I'm not sure, I'm really not.

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Just now, -Axel- said:

It's the unknown, unknown about what tomorrow will bring. I know people say things do get better buts it's getting harder.  I spoke to the lady weighing me today, and she coveted it up but then I was asking to know the number. Maybe because I really want to loose it? I'm not sure, I'm really not.

Ohh, I understand what you mean. I am scared of the unknown as well, it makes a frustrated. I understand things are getting harder for you, but trust me, you WILL get through this. Its okay that you saw your number, it happens. Just curious, next time she weighs you, do you think you will ask?

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1 minute ago, mxhaxnaeem said:

Ohh, I understand what you mean. I am scared of the unknown as well, it makes a frustrated. I understand things are getting harder for you, but trust me, you WILL get through this. Its okay that you saw your number, it happens. Just curious, next time she weighs you, do you think you will ask?

I was telling myself before it happened that no I will not ask for the number because it will make me restrict food even more. But obviously, it didn't work and I asked. I honestly don't know they weigh me weekly not sure why but hey how silly can people be!

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1 minute ago, -Axel- said:

I was telling myself before it happened that no I will not ask for the number because it will make me restrict food even more. But obviously, it didn't work and I asked. I honestly don't know they weigh me weekly not sure why but hey how silly can people be!

Hey, I don't blame you honestly, this isn't your fault. Do you think there is something you could do so that you would not be hesitant in asking?

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1 minute ago, idk_anymore? said:

Hey, I don't blame you honestly, this isn't your fault. Do you think there is something you could do so that you would not be hesitant in asking?

Maybe distracting myself? Honestly, I'm trying drawing at the moment which is helping. But I'm not sure sorry.

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3 minutes ago, idk_anymore? said:

yes! that's good. What are some things you like to do?

When I draw? I tend to doodle whatever my mind tells me to do. I might draw lines and make a picture but the other day I drew my deceased dog, sad but I sleep with it beside me.

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Just now, -Axel- said:

When I draw? I tend to doodle whatever my mind tells me to do. I might draw lines and make a picture but the other day I drew my deceased dog, sad but I sleep with it beside me.

That's so sad to hear :( what about a happy drawing?

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Just now, idk_anymore? said:

aww- Thank you soo much, I hate seeing you down too :(

We all have different paths that cause us pain and grief, but supporting each other is better then suffering alone! I'm okay, talking little steps! 

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Just now, -Axel- said:

We all have different paths that cause us pain and grief, but supporting each other is better then suffering alone! I'm okay, talking little steps! 

I'm so happy to hear- I love helping people as well and supporting others does help!🙂❤

 

 

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Just now, idk_anymore? said:

I'm so happy to hear- I love helping people as well and supporting others does help!🙂❤

I cannot thank you enough for the support and love, it helps me! ❤. Literally all the kind and supportive comments, melts my heart because I've never felt so supported so I'm pleaded I found this website!♡

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Just now, -Axel- said:

I cannot thank you enough for the support and love, it helps me! ❤. Literally all the kind and supportive comments, melts my heart because I've never felt so supported so I'm pleaded I found this website!♡

Of courseee :) I'm here anytime don't ever hesitate to reach out to me- always here for you. You will always be loved and supported by us!

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Just a heads up- I'm going to take my medication and listen to a podcast before I try to sleep thank you for talking with me tonight, I hope you sleep well and take good care of yourself! I will catch up with you in the morning, much love ❤

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Just now, -Axel- said:

Just a heads up- I'm going to take my medication and listen to a podcast before I try to sleep thank you for talking with me tonight, I hope you sleep well and take good care of yourself! I will catch up with you in the morning, much love ❤

Of course <3 good luck and talk to you later, much love to you as well !

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness, Suicide

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6 hours ago, -Axel- said:

Why can't I just die. My nightmare yesterday night was about me drowning deliberately. Why can't it just happen. I'm in so much pain

Hey,

I just want you to know I've sent a message to check in. 

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