Rumours

[-Penny]

Soo, one of my best friends (Let’s call her Lyla) fell out with another girl in my friend group last week. She was totally fine with me, and we would chat and laugh like normal. Today, however, Lyla decides for some bizarre reason that me and my friends have been talking about her (not in a good way.) She, and 2 older girls confronted us in the school bathrooms and said that we had been talking **** about Lyla and her friends, and that they even had proof from messages (which they never showed us.) I honestly have no idea what they are talking about, until today I was under the impression that we were still friends! At lunch about 3 of Lyla’s friends came and asked us if we were talking about her, and also said stuff like “Don’t try to deny it, we already know you were talking about her.”

So at this point I’m really upset, but me and my friends still went to the last class (PE.) One of my friends was crying, for some reason… (I don’t even know why, nothing had happened to her!) so she told a teacher EVERYTHING that had happened with Lyla, which made it worse. The teacher took me, Lyla and my other friend into an office and it turns out Lyla had already spoken to her, and now the teacher thinks I have been talking about Lyla too, saying “I get you’re upset, but it is your fault too, for talking about her.” Like, seriously?! 
 

note: sorry if it’s confusing to read but it’d be rlly good if someone could give me some advice on what to do!!

Edited June 21, 2022 by Piper

[Daisie]

Hey @Piper Happy Wednesday to you.

I have read your post and I wondered if you’d find it helpful to talk this through with one of our Trained Digital Mentors? I’ll tag them in so they can reach out to you. @Blondie & @Aurora

If need anything in the meantime, please just give me a shout.

Edited June 22, 2022 by Daisie

[Aurora]

16 hours ago, Piper said:

Soo, one of my best friends (Let’s call her Lyla) fell out with another girl in my friend group last week. She was totally fine with me, and we would chat and laugh like normal. Today, however, Lyla decides for some bizarre reason that me and my friends have been talking about her (not in a good way.) She, and 2 older girls confronted us in the school bathrooms and said that we had been talking **** about Lyla and her friends, and that they even had proof from messages (which they never showed us.) I honestly have no idea what they are talking about, until today I was under the impression that we were still friends! At lunch about 3 of Lyla’s friends came and asked us if we were talking about her, and also said stuff like “Don’t try to deny it, we already know you were talking about her.”

So at this point I’m really upset, but me and my friends still went to the last class (PE.) One of my friends was crying, for some reason… (I don’t even know why, nothing had happened to her!) so she told a teacher EVERYTHING that had happened with Lyla, which made it worse. The teacher took me, Lyla and my other friend into an office and it turns out Lyla had already spoken to her, and now the teacher thinks I have been talking about Lyla too, saying “I get you’re upset, but it is your fault too, for talking about her.” Like, seriously?! 
 

note: sorry if it’s confusing to read but it’d be rlly good if someone could give me some advice on what to do!!

 

Hi Piper, I’m Aurora, I’m a support mentor here at Ditch the Label, as Daisy kindly pointed out in her post. That sounds like a tough situation to be in and I can understand why you are feeling upset. Do you think it might be a good idea to talk to Lyla on your own? I’m just wondering whether there is something else going in her life, for her to be like this. What do you think?    

 

[Emberfrost12]

18 hours ago, Piper said:

Soo, one of my best friends (Let’s call her Lyla) fell out with another girl in my friend group last week. She was totally fine with me, and we would chat and laugh like normal. Today, however, Lyla decides for some bizarre reason that me and my friends have been talking about her (not in a good way.) She, and 2 older girls confronted us in the school bathrooms and said that we had been talking **** about Lyla and her friends, and that they even had proof from messages (which they never showed us.) I honestly have no idea what they are talking about, until today I was under the impression that we were still friends! At lunch about 3 of Lyla’s friends came and asked us if we were talking about her, and also said stuff like “Don’t try to deny it, we already know you were talking about her.”

So at this point I’m really upset, but me and my friends still went to the last class (PE.) One of my friends was crying, for some reason… (I don’t even know why, nothing had happened to her!) so she told a teacher EVERYTHING that had happened with Lyla, which made it worse. The teacher took me, Lyla and my other friend into an office and it turns out Lyla had already spoken to her, and now the teacher thinks I have been talking about Lyla too, saying “I get you’re upset, but it is your fault too, for talking about her.” Like, seriously?! 
 

note: sorry if it’s confusing to read but it’d be rlly good if someone could give me some advice on what to do!!

Hey, that's really tough, maybe you should try to see those messages yourself, so that you can understand what they're talking about? And ask them to tell you why they think you've been doing this?

[-Penny]

8 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi Piper, I’m Aurora, I’m a support mentor here at Ditch the Label, as Daisy kindly pointed out in her post. That sounds like a tough situation to be in and I can understand why you are feeling upset. Do you think it might be a good idea to talk to Lyla on your own? I’m just wondering whether there is something else going in her life, for her to be like this. What do you think?    

Hi,

I tried talking to her, but she ignored me. She has told me when we were friends that she had home problems, and I totally understand that, but what I don’t get is why she suddenly seems to hate me.

[-Penny]

6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Hey, that's really tough, maybe you should try to see those messages yourself, so that you can understand what they're talking about? And ask them to tell you why they think you've been doing this?

Hi, every time they come over I ask for the proof, or the messages but they never show me. Today I asked Lyla why she was upset with me but she just ignored me…

[-Penny]

>> Update on the rumours thing >> 

 

At lunch today a really popular friend of Lyla’s came over to me and my friends’ table, with about 20 other random people who surrounded us. They were shouting and saying  “People have been saying you have been talking about multiple of my friends, just admit it even if you haven’t done it and everyone will stop bothering you!” But I know that if I say that I have been talking about them (even though I haven’t) they will just go and tell someone about it and use my ‘confession’ as more proof. A teacher told them to leave, because they were being too loud, but they came back in once the teacher left. This happened again as they started shouting. When they got sent away the 3rd time, they were all peering through the windows, and through the glass on the doors, practically blocking the exit. We decided to go into another area, because the lunch hall was crowded anyway, so we left using the back door.

There’s this building we call ‘T Block’, and me and 3 of my friends went in there because it is always quiet. But of course the group of people (still about 20 of them) came round the lunch hall and started following us all the way to the door of T Block. A teacher literally blocked the doorway because they were all trying to push through. To get past them all we had to go all the way round and behind the buildings. Then, to top it off, Lyla and her friends decided it was a good idea to shout my friend’s name from where they were sitting, making her cry. That sounds extreme but it was rlly stressful. (I heard my name a few times, along with a few comments on how I was apparently staring.) Lyla literally told the teacher how I was ‘staring’ — I accidentally made eye contact like 1 time when I looked at the questions the teacher wrote and apparently that’s staring now.

 

I have no idea what to do, it’s only gonna be the same tomorrow. I feel like they are watching all the time. Every time I get a wrong answer in a lesson at least 2 of them laugh, not even trying to hide it, either.

 

My life is so great rn :)

[Blondie]

11 hours ago, Piper said:

>> Update on the rumours thing >> 

At lunch today a really popular friend of Lyla’s came over to me and my friends’ table, with about 20 other random people who surrounded us. They were shouting and saying  “People have been saying you have been talking about multiple of my friends, just admit it even if you haven’t done it and everyone will stop bothering you!” But I know that if I say that I have been talking about them (even though I haven’t) they will just go and tell someone about it and use my ‘confession’ as more proof. A teacher told them to leave, because they were being too loud, but they came back in once the teacher left. This happened again as they started shouting. When they got sent away the 3rd time, they were all peering through the windows, and through the glass on the doors, practically blocking the exit. We decided to go into another area, because the lunch hall was crowded anyway, so we left using the back door.

There’s this building we call ‘T Block’, and me and 3 of my friends went in there because it is always quiet. But of course the group of people (still about 20 of them) came round the lunch hall and started following us all the way to the door of T Block. A teacher literally blocked the doorway because they were all trying to push through. To get past them all we had to go all the way round and behind the buildings. Then, to top it off, Lyla and her friends decided it was a good idea to shout my friend’s name from where they were sitting, making her cry. That sounds extreme but it was rlly stressful. (I heard my name a few times, along with a few comments on how I was apparently staring.) Lyla literally told the teacher how I was ‘staring’ — I accidentally made eye contact like 1 time when I looked at the questions the teacher wrote and apparently that’s staring now.

I have no idea what to do, it’s only gonna be the same tomorrow. I feel like they are watching all the time. Every time I get a wrong answer in a lesson at least 2 of them laugh, not even trying to hide it, either.

My life is so great rn :)

Hey Piper, this sounds like it needs an intervention, especially as teachers are now having to intervene. Do you know if your school ever does mediation? Basically getting everyone together and facilitating a chat where you all get to say your version / opinion of what is happening. That way it would finally air out what the root of the issue is. Could you ask school about this? 

[Emberfrost12]

17 hours ago, Piper said:

>> Update on the rumours thing >> 

At lunch today a really popular friend of Lyla’s came over to me and my friends’ table, with about 20 other random people who surrounded us. They were shouting and saying  “People have been saying you have been talking about multiple of my friends, just admit it even if you haven’t done it and everyone will stop bothering you!” But I know that if I say that I have been talking about them (even though I haven’t) they will just go and tell someone about it and use my ‘confession’ as more proof. A teacher told them to leave, because they were being too loud, but they came back in once the teacher left. This happened again as they started shouting. When they got sent away the 3rd time, they were all peering through the windows, and through the glass on the doors, practically blocking the exit. We decided to go into another area, because the lunch hall was crowded anyway, so we left using the back door.

There’s this building we call ‘T Block’, and me and 3 of my friends went in there because it is always quiet. But of course the group of people (still about 20 of them) came round the lunch hall and started following us all the way to the door of T Block. A teacher literally blocked the doorway because they were all trying to push through. To get past them all we had to go all the way round and behind the buildings. Then, to top it off, Lyla and her friends decided it was a good idea to shout my friend’s name from where they were sitting, making her cry. That sounds extreme but it was rlly stressful. (I heard my name a few times, along with a few comments on how I was apparently staring.) Lyla literally told the teacher how I was ‘staring’ — I accidentally made eye contact like 1 time when I looked at the questions the teacher wrote and apparently that’s staring now.

I have no idea what to do, it’s only gonna be the same tomorrow. I feel like they are watching all the time. Every time I get a wrong answer in a lesson at least 2 of them laugh, not even trying to hide it, either.

My life is so great rn :)

Maybe you should go back to the teacher you went to first, and have the teachers that saw Lyla's friends trying to get to you come to state that they were actually do that? Plus, maybe you can ask to see the proof with the teacher there?

[-Penny]

8 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey Piper, this sounds like it needs an intervention, especially as teachers are now having to intervene. Do you know if your school ever does mediation? Basically getting everyone together and facilitating a chat where you all get to say your version / opinion of what is happening. That way it would finally air out what the root of the issue is. Could you ask school about this? 

We talk to the same teacher but not together- they refuse to be on the same table as us in lessons let alone a conversation…

 

I talked to a teacher today about it but they just said to come back if anything else happens.

[-Penny]

3 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Maybe you should go back to the teacher you went to first, and have the teachers that saw Lyla's friends trying to get to you come to state that they were actually do that? Plus, maybe you can ask to see the proof with the teacher there?

The teachers didn’t actually realise anything was wrong, I think. They just wanted to get the people out because you’re not allowed to stand up in the lunch hall unless you’re leaving or arriving.

[Blondie]

5 minutes ago, Piper said:

The teachers didn’t actually realise anything was wrong, I think. They just wanted to get the people out because you’re not allowed to stand up in the lunch hall unless you’re leaving or arriving.

I definitely think this should be explained to them and tell them that you are open to having a mediation to sort it out. It kind of feels that it needs some positive action to 'disrupt' what's happening now so it doesn't escalate. 

[Emberfrost12]

2 hours ago, Piper said:

The teachers didn’t actually realise anything was wrong, I think. They just wanted to get the people out because you’re not allowed to stand up in the lunch hall unless you’re leaving or arriving.

Maybe try asking them to pay attention to it without telling the other group of people? See if they notice anything?

[-Penny]

>> Update!

 

So a teacher talked to the class…nothing happened so I’m hoping they are gonna stop. 

[Emberfrost12]

On 6/25/2022 at 4:31 PM, Piper said:

>> Update!

So a teacher talked to the class…nothing happened so I’m hoping they are gonna stop. 

I hope so too.

[Monsoon]

On 6/25/2022 at 11:31 PM, Piper said:

>> Update!

So a teacher talked to the class…nothing happened so I’m hoping they are gonna stop. 

Hey there,

When you say nothing happened, do you mean that the talk wasn't helpful or nothing else has happened since? Also, how are you feeling about everything? 

[-Penny]

On 6/29/2022 at 7:53 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

When you say nothing happened, do you mean that the talk wasn't helpful or nothing else has happened since? Also, how are you feeling about everything? 

They haven’t done anything else so hopefully they have just decided it’s not worth it…we often get dirty looks or a whisper but that’s better than it was :)

[Monsoon]

9 hours ago, Piper said:

They haven’t done anything else so hopefully they have just decided it’s not worth it…we often get dirty looks or a whisper but that’s better than it was :)

Hey,

Do you mean the students or the teacher? I'm glad to hear it's better than it was though. I'm just wondering, would you like support with anything else for now? 

[-Penny]

On 7/1/2022 at 1:44 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Do you mean the students or the teacher? I'm glad to hear it's better than it was though. I'm just wondering, would you like support with anything else for now? 

I meant the students, and I think it’s calmed down now. Thanks for supporting me through this guys ^^

[Monsoon]

No worries! If you need anymore support, let us know :)