Am I Demi????

[Julian Ali]

I think I might be Demi, but I already have a ton of labels/sexuality/gender identity I can't have more, right??

[Julian Ali]

What do I do?????

I don't feel a sexual attraction to people at first, I feel safe and emotionally understood, then I begin to grow more feelings for certain people, is this Demi or something else that makes me a freak??

I'm falling for a guy at my church, and I haven't ever felt a sexual attraction until recently, b4 i just felt understood and connected, as a friend.

Edited November 7, 2022 by Julian Ali

[Luie]

1 hour ago, Julian Ali said:

What do I do?????

I don't feel a sexual attraction to people at first, I feel safe and emotionally understood, then I begin to grow more feelings for certain people, is this Demi or something else that makes me a freak??

I'm falling for a guy at my church, and I haven't ever felt a sexual attraction until recently, b4 i just felt understood and connected, as a friend.

Heyy @Julian Ali, I am Luie of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

You are not a freak for wanting to be emotionally understood and feel safe around a person before forming a sexual attraction. It sounds like a tough thought to have that is looming over you. There is nothing wrong in having more than one label for yourself. It sounds to be that you are exploring and figuring what works and doesn't for you. A suggestion would be to give yourself time before jumping to any conclusions or wanting to fit in a box. How does this sound to you?

Also, what you're describing by definition does sound demi-sexual, however before choosing another label for yourself, I would love to understand whether it is important for you to have this label and if it is something that will make a difference for you?

[Julian Ali]

54 minutes ago, Luie said:

Heyy @Julian Ali, I am Luie of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

You are not a freak for wanting to be emotionally understood and feel safe around a person before forming a sexual attraction. It sounds like a tough thought to have that is looming over you. There is nothing wrong in having more than one label for yourself. It sounds to be that you are exploring and figuring what works and doesn't for you. A suggestion would be to give yourself time before jumping to any conclusions or wanting to fit in a box. How does this sound to you?

Also, what you're describing by definition does sound demi-sexual, however before choosing another label for yourself, I would love to understand whether it is important for you to have this label and if it is something that will make a difference for you?

Labels make HUGE differences in my life, if I am able to give myself a label it gives me immense satisfaction, I am an organization person. I have nothing that isn't organized. I felt like a cheater b4 i figured out i was poly. when i found that label i fel so relived bc i had a box, a place i fit. Not having a label isnt a problem its just something i wonder about and search for. I'm just unsure if i AM demi and maybe just overthinking this.

[Luie]

23 hours ago, Julian Ali said:

Labels make HUGE differences in my life, if I am able to give myself a label it gives me immense satisfaction, I am an organization person. I have nothing that isn't organized. I felt like a cheater b4 i figured out i was poly. when i found that label i fel so relived bc i had a box, a place i fit. Not having a label isnt a problem its just something i wonder about and search for. I'm just unsure if i AM demi and maybe just overthinking this.

I hear you and I respect how labels are extremely important for you. Kudos to you for being so well organized about things in your life. I was curious and did some digging about demi sexuality from what I've understood (which is similar to what you've shared earlier as well) is that it's sexual attraction towards someone when you have an emotional bond with the person. They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and may have any gender identity. So yes, it does sound like you do share that mindset and emotions, and you can have multiple labels, it is okay, there is absolutely no harm in it. 

A little food for thought, you're in your early teens, and I understand how having labels is helpful and  how crucial they can be, I hope you  know that you do not need permission from anyone to change any of the labels that perhaps don't fit with some other phase in your life including the current one. Sexuality can exist on a spectrum, and I hope over time you figure what/who adds to your life in a positive manner despite any labels 

How does this all sound to you? 

[Julian Ali]

19 hours ago, Luie said:

I hear you and I respect how labels are extremely important for you. Kudos to you for being so well organized about things in your life. I was curious and did some digging about demi sexuality from what I've understood (which is similar to what you've shared earlier as well) is that it's sexual attraction towards someone when you have an emotional bond with the person. They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and may have any gender identity. So yes, it does sound like you do share that mindset and emotions, and you can have multiple labels, it is okay, there is absolutely no harm in it. 

A little food for thought, you're in your early teens, and I understand how having labels is helpful and  how crucial they can be, I hope you  know that you do not need permission from anyone to change any of the labels that perhaps don't fit with some other phase in your life including the current one. Sexuality can exist on a spectrum, and I hope over time you figure what/who adds to your life in a positive manner despite any labels 

How does this all sound to you? 

This sounds awesome. You have definitely helped me . Thank you so much! I think I will give it a little more time before I decide for certain if this is me. 

[Luie]

You're welcome, Glad I could help    I'd love it if you could please take a moment to let us know how I did, using the form below. Thank you @Julian Ali