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I have come to the realization that I'm bisexual (yay!) but I have also realized that I suck at dating. I think I give off a really independent "undateable" vibe and I'm trying to do the opposite of that.  Especially now that I know I am interested in girls as well, I don't know where to start. How do I know someone's into me? What if I start hitting on a straight girl? How to I make myself seem more...available to others? Someone with experience please help.

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6 hours ago, Ambi said:

I have come to the realization that I'm bisexual (yay!) but I have also realized that I suck at dating. I think I give off a really independent "undateable" vibe and I'm trying to do the opposite of that.  Especially now that I know I am interested in girls as well, I don't know where to start. How do I know someone's into me? What if I start hitting on a straight girl? How to I make myself seem more...available to others? Someone with experience please help.

Hey there, I'm so pleased for you, that's a huge step!! Well done you! Firstly thank you for taking your time to tell us what you are feeling inside that's a huge step! Not knowing how to date someone is perfectly normal, when I first dated someone I was rubbish lol 😆. Being interested in girls is normal, as well as wanting to like boys too! If someone is into you, they might show a bit of flirting towards you, their actions might differ from what they normally are around people, they might want to get to know you more or want to take you out more often! If you start hitting on a girl who is into guys, then that's normal! As, you are experiencing what it's like! Just by being you is a good way to show others that you are available, if that makes sense? Obviously if you start to like someone you can tell them you're single etc,

Hugs! Xo

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  • Digital Mentor
6 hours ago, Ambi said:

I have come to the realization that I'm bisexual (yay!) but I have also realized that I suck at dating. I think I give off a really independent "undateable" vibe and I'm trying to do the opposite of that.  Especially now that I know I am interested in girls as well, I don't know where to start. How do I know someone's into me? What if I start hitting on a straight girl? How to I make myself seem more...available to others? Someone with experience please help.

Hey there!

I think that a good way to remove any potential negative vibes is to firstly, know your worth and be confident in that - be really aware of what your values are in a relationship. 
Also, do the things that you really enjoy so you’re in environments that you thrive in. You’re going to be your truest self there, chill and happy and people will see that!

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on topic of this, dose anyone know how to let people know that you are ready to date, lesbian, and can't let your family know? Or do I just have to live with it if it gets out?

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9 minutes ago, vega said:

on topic of this, dose anyone know how to let people know that you are ready to date, lesbian, and can't let your family know? Or do I just have to live with it if it gets out?

Do you mean you are scared to let your family know? Sorry if I'm confusing..

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yes, very scared. I know my mom will support me but I'm not sure about my dad and my grandpa would chase me away with a pitchfork and torch

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42 minutes ago, vega said:

yes, very scared. I know my mom will support me but I'm not sure about my dad and my grandpa would chase me away with a pitchfork and torch

I know it's not ideal but if it's going to cause major issues at home (like being thrown out) then we always suggest that people to wait until they are independent. If you feel your mom would be a support, maybe you could have a private chat with her and she might be able to give you some insight on how your dad might react.

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thanks, I'm hoping to wait a little to let them know though. I have good support with my friends but I don't want anyone to know yet other then them. So should I just not date 'till I'm older?

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11 minutes ago, vega said:

thanks, I'm hoping to wait a little to let them know though. I have good support with my friends but I don't want anyone to know yet other then them. So should I just not date 'till I'm older?

It's up to you lovely, we're here for you but do what you think is best! Hugs!

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13 minutes ago, vega said:

thanks, I'm hoping to wait a little to let them know though. I have good support with my friends but I don't want anyone to know yet other then them. So should I just not date 'till I'm older?

Would it be difficult to date without telling anyone / or anyone finding out?

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9 hours ago, vega said:

yes, i think

That does sound like it would be difficult and potentially stressful.

We're here for you and you can be your true self here. 

 

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