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Showing results for tags 'self worth'.
I’m living in China and have a Chinese boyfriend. Recently he started a douyin (chinese tiktok) account where he posts some casual moments in our (mixed race) relationship. The comments are wreaking me. People are saying he’s too good for me. That I’m average looking or that I look old or bluntly that I am not beautiful. They ask him why he doesn’t date a Chinese girl. There’s one video that’s really popular. And people are tearing me apart. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned my worth like this. And unfortunately, I find myself checking and rereading these comments endlessly. Every free second I’m opening this app and checking what new thing people have said. I feel like I’m not a human. And now I look in the mirror and I can only see what they saw. I look at my boyfriend and worry he will listen to them. I don’t want him to know how much it upsets me, so I sit in the bathroom and cry. Am I really ugly? I don’t want to think so. But so many people say I am.