longdistance Long distance and homophobia

[shy_sometimes]

Hi, you can just call me V i'm 17 years old.

So i met this girl online through wattpad, she's from indonesia while i'm from the caribbean, approximately 19000kms away T-T, i first met her in a comment section of a book where we talked alot and eventually she messaged privately, we talked a lot  and a lot about almost everything.. the time zones were different, 11hrs so usually at morning or night we talked most and we did and still do everyday. She's younger than me and absolutely brilliant, such an amazing person. We started talking on the comment section about 5-6 months ago but only really started talking late december, not long after my birthday and i've grown to like her so much in such a short time. April the 5th i sent one of those cute cheesy 'i love you' maths equation to solve because i saw them and she also told me she loved me. Each day i feel like i fall more in love w her and i've gotten to know her so much yet i crave to know more, to be with her and feel her hugs but *sigh* it's difficult.. I was actually the lucky one, with my mom being gay and i grew up with gay people being normal, never really experiencing much homophobia unlike her. Living in indonesia is tough especially because being gay is seen as a huge sin and she has to hide it because she can't disappoint her family again. It's been hard, she already told me to move on but then we just fall back into eachother and i've never felt this way. Sometimes it hurts, missing her, imagining her, imagining finally getting to cherish her (aahh i'm tearing up like bro).. sending eachother songs and expressing love, you won't believe how it actually feels, how great she actually is and intelligent.

Her mom will be the hardest to get through to and it hurts me that it hurts her because she can't properly communicate with her mom where her mom might be understanding, and she does try, she even told her sister about her liking me and it made me feel really happy just the sister was disappointed and that really let her down. Idk why i'm writing this actually.... just wanted to say it. Or maybe i'm just really missing her rn

And the only way we might see eachother is if after i do a bachelor's degree, i go to the school she will go to do her master's in another country, but that's still uncertain. but for rn i wanted to at least post something to her but i have no clue what will be good enough, but she likes spotify and i have an idea. Just really wanted to show her my appreciation to her so she knows someone does

This is about my guinnie, if you see this, i hope you don't hahaha

p.s sorry for typos, too sleepy to read all of that over...

[Daisie]

Hey V, welcome to the community and nice to meet you!

I am Daisie a Community Warden here on the forums, and I wondered if you would find it useful talking things through with one of our Trained Mentors?

I will tag them in so you know who they are and so they can get in touch. @Monsoon & @Blondie

Look forward to seeing you around!

[Blondie]

3 hours ago, shy_sometimes said:

Hi, you can just call me V i'm 17 years old.

So i met this girl online through wattpad, she's from indonesia while i'm from the caribbean, approximately 19000kms away T-T, i first met her in a comment section of a book where we talked alot and eventually she messaged privately, we talked a lot  and a lot about almost everything.. the time zones were different, 11hrs so usually at morning or night we talked most and we did and still do everyday. She's younger than me and absolutely brilliant, such an amazing person. We started talking on the comment section about 5-6 months ago but only really started talking late december, not long after my birthday and i've grown to like her so much in such a short time. April the 5th i sent one of those cute cheesy 'i love you' maths equation to solve because i saw them and she also told me she loved me. Each day i feel like i fall more in love w her and i've gotten to know her so much yet i crave to know more, to be with her and feel her hugs but *sigh* it's difficult.. I was actually the lucky one, with my mom being gay and i grew up with gay people being normal, never really experiencing much homophobia unlike her. Living in indonesia is tough especially because being gay is seen as a huge sin and she has to hide it because she can't disappoint her family again. It's been hard, she already told me to move on but then we just fall back into eachother and i've never felt this way. Sometimes it hurts, missing her, imagining her, imagining finally getting to cherish her (aahh i'm tearing up like bro).. sending eachother songs and expressing love, you won't believe how it actually feels, how great she actually is and intelligent.

Her mom will be the hardest to get through to and it hurts me that it hurts her because she can't properly communicate with her mom where her mom might be understanding, and she does try, she even told her sister about her liking me and it made me feel really happy just the sister was disappointed and that really let her down. Idk why i'm writing this actually.... just wanted to say it. Or maybe i'm just really missing her rn

And the only way we might see eachother is if after i do a bachelor's degree, i go to the school she will go to do her master's in another country, but that's still uncertain. but for rn i wanted to at least post something to her but i have no clue what will be good enough, but she likes spotify and i have an idea. Just really wanted to show her my appreciation to her so she knows someone does

This is about my guinnie, if you see this, i hope you don't hahaha

p.s sorry for typos, too sleepy to read all of that over...

Hi V, this sounds like it's been a really positive experience (for both of you) meeting them and getting to know them online. Long distance relationships can be tricky to navigate of course but no matter the outcome, the relationship you have is valid and important and we learn so much. 

Can I ask if you have been able to be sure that you know that it is her that you are talking to? I'm not trying to put a damper on things at all - just looking out for your safety! 

 

[shy_sometimes]

14 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hi V, this sounds like it's been a really positive experience (for both of you) meeting them and getting to know them online. Long distance relationships can be tricky to navigate of course but no matter the outcome, the relationship you have is valid and important and we learn so much. 

Can I ask if you have been able to be sure that you know that it is her that you are talking to? I'm not trying to put a damper on things at all - just looking out for your safety! 

Hi, Yes i'm sure it's actually her and who she says she is, earlier on in texting she had sent a picture and i also of myself a while after, and we both know which school we attend etc. Thanks for asking about that 

[Monsoon]

On 4/24/2022 at 2:24 AM, shy_sometimes said:

Hi, Yes i'm sure it's actually her and who she says she is, earlier on in texting she had sent a picture and i also of myself a while after, and we both know which school we attend etc. Thanks for asking about that 

Hey,

I think it's really good to be extra safe just to make sure they are who they say they are. Could you try doing a video call just incase?