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I'm thinking about coming out to my homophobic parents i'm Bi but I don't know what they'll say.


lKail
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Please keep this thread to support-based messages.Β 

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  • Digital Mentor
On 2/4/2022 at 8:01 AM, XxhelloxX said:

Well it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable being drug into the drunk fights and seeing them like that.

Yeah, I can see how that would feel, especially as the child of the people fighting. I'm wondering, have you ever told them how it makes you feel? If so, how did it go?

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On 12/2/2021 at 2:48 AM, Phantom said:

Coming out can be important, but it’s important to be safe first. If you’re worried about your parents being upset with you or hurting you, it mTags: B&M Global Solutions reviews, BM global solutions, B&M Global Solutions, Shaivya nautiyalay not be best to come out yet. I’m transgender and I know how much being in the closet sucks but I think not being accepted would make me feel even worse.

Yes you are right

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I have once when they were fighting but my mom was just trying to go to bed and so my dad kept bringing stuff up and then she said that it was hurting both mine and her feelings and then he said" I wish I wasn't her father" or something like that, and so I told him to just go sleep in the motor home because I hated the way he was talking to me and my mom and then I said that I wanted him to leave me alone for the night and the next day.

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  • Digital Mentor
3 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

I have once when they were fighting but my mom was just trying to go to bed and so my dad kept bringing stuff up and then she said that it was hurting both mine and her feelings and then he said" I wish I wasn't her father" or something like that, and so I told him to just go sleep in the motor home because I hated the way he was talking to me and my mom and then I said that I wanted him to leave me alone for the night and the next day.

I'm really sorry to hear he said that to you. How did it feel when you heard that? I'm wondering, could it be worth speaking to them about how you feel around being pulled into arguments when they are calm and not in conflict? People are more likely to be empathetic and understanding when they are calm.Β 

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I honestly don't want to bring it up at all because they get rude very easily and I was just in shock and really sad when he said that to me, because he's been the one I could talk to when me and my mom weren't getting along.

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  • Digital Mentor

Yeah, I totally get that you were in shock and sad about what he said; your reaction is completely valid and normal. Why do you think he said that? Do you think he meant it?Β 

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  • Digital Mentor
20 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

Honestly I don't even know why he would say anything like that and I don't know if he did really mean it.

I wonder, when he is mad, does he tend to say things that are quite extreme/things that he doesn't mean? If so, can you tell me another example?Β 

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Often when he is drunk ya but I honestly can't even remember another one that he has said because I like to forget the things he does say.

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  • Digital Mentor
15 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

Often when he is drunk ya but I honestly can't even remember another one that he has said because I like to forget the things he does say.

Yeah, I totally understand the wanting to forget element of this. I think it's important to keep in mind that when people are drunk, they turn into different people and say things that don't actually represent how they truly feel; I think everyone who has been drunk before can relate to that. What do you think?

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  • Digital Mentor
14 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

Yea I understand that just I hate when he gets drunk and fights with my mom, and then says that kind of stuff to us.

Yeah, I totally get that; it's so hurtful, and even though you're aware that people often say things they don't mean when they're drunk, it must be so hard to not take it personally. Why do you think he does things like this?Β 

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It is really hard not to take it like its directed at myself, and IΒ  don't know why he says that kind of stuff when he is drunk.

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About how I feel about him talking to us like that? I am pretty sure she knows because whenever he's hugging me when he's drunk, my mom tells him that its making me uncomfortable.

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  • Digital Mentor
12 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

About how I feel about him talking to us like that? I am pretty sure she knows because whenever he's hugging me when he's drunk, my mom tells him that its making me uncomfortable.

Yeah, I'm wondering, could you have a conversation with her about what he's said? Also, on top of the hurtful things he has said and hugging you, does he do anything else that makes you feel uncomfortable?Β 

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Nah not really because I can't remember anything else he has said really, also I told my dad that I was Bi today and he said "You don't know what you are because your just a little girl still"...EVEN THOUGH I'M THIRTEEN .

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  • Digital Mentor
4 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

Nah not really because I can't remember anything else he has said really, also I told my dad that I was Bi today and he said "You don't know what you are because your just a little girl still"...EVEN THOUGH I'M THIRTEEN .

I think that although you can't remember anything else he has said, what he said about how he wishes he wasn't your father is significant, and she might be able to talk it through with you to help you feel better. What do you think?Β 

Also, that's great that you came out to him. I know he didn't react in the way you wanted him to, but how does it feel now you've revealed this part of your identity?Β 

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I have really just felt like he now knows that part of me...the true me, and my older sister is now staying with us and I told her about me being Bi and well she said that she accepted me but I needed time to figure out if that was truly me, and I said okay.

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  • Digital Mentor

Yeah, I can imagine that it feels quite nice to be out. Also, it’s interesting that your sister said that. Do you think you need more time, or are you pretty confident in your sexuality?Β 

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I know that I am Bi but I feel like just a little more time might help me confirm it, and yea I didn't know if she would accept me or not.

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  • Digital Mentor
9 hours ago, XxhelloxX said:

I know that I am Bi but I feel like just a little more time might help me confirm it, and yea I didn't know if she would accept me or not.

Hey there. If you need to take time, then that's more than okay. Being confident in knowing your sexuality can take a while, and when you think about it, there's no rush really :)

Although your dad said you're too young, do you think he is fine with the idea of you being bi?

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