Hi, I have been questioning my sexuality and somehow I think I am bi. I told one of my closest friends about and I thought she loved me just the way I am. Boy was I wrong. She started to discuss on how I should date guys more and forget that l like girls. I felt really offended. She's saying I want to protect you from the ugly world. Yes I know this reality is messed up, but you should love me just the way I am. What should I do about her?
Again my ex boyfriend says he wants to know if I am straight or lesbian. I don't know how to come out to him. I don't want to look like I want attention from him. I just want him to know who I really am. What should I do? I am already installing a mental breakdown into my brain. Please help me...
My name is Jason. I'm a 17yo trans man, still in school. I present male online and around my friends (who I am out to), obviously dressing like a typical guy on a daily basis. I'd say I probably pass for the most part as long as you don't look at my face, but that's kind of besides the point. I'm neither out to my school nor to my parents, and I wanted to fix that.
The thing with my parents is that they're kind of transphobic. I can't really say how transphobic, but they've definitely made comments like "This person is a man—but that's what they want you to think" or "These boys' parents force them to be women" etc. Not to mention they're extremely enbyphobic (though that doesn't exactly concern me personally as I am a binary man—it's still wrong, obviously). Despite all this, I really really want to come out to them and I know how I want to do it (giving them a gender reveal card that says "It's a boy!" before I leave on a school trip, though I'd have to make sure they realize I'm referring to myself so they don't think I'm pregnant or something???), I'm just extremely nervous and I'm not quite sure what exactly I'd want to tell them. I don't even know if it's a good idea, but I'm willing to try. The worst they could do is simply disregard it and reprimand me about it, but I know I probably wouldn't get grounded or anything like that. I really want to start medically transitioning—at the very least get more masculine clothing than the extremely limited amount I have at the moment.
For school, I just genuinely have no clue how I'd do that. My entire class isn't exactly garbage, but I wouldn't say they're all that supportive of the LGBT community. They're the "I don't really care if you're straight or gay" kind, I feel. I don't really know how the teachers would be with this cause the vast majority of them don't show their own opinions or beliefs (as that isn't allowed for teachers to do where I live). My friend suggested I e-mail our class's main teacher, but I really don't know what I'd write and what I'd want to do after coming out to literally just one teacher. I don't think she really realizes how mortifying the idea of coming out is to me though (she's ace and her own coming out went really smoothly).
I'm looking for advice, maybe tips and experiences from people who have already come out as non-cis to their parents/school, and just ideas of what to say to either when I do actually come out.
Hey everyone! I'm new here, don't know how it works, but i'm gonna give it a try.
Im genderfluid, AFAB (assigned female at birth), and my pronouns change. I want to come out to my cisgender straight boyfriend, who doesn't know much about genders and pronouns, He was supportive when i came out as bisexual, but i'm not sure if he will be okay with this and i don't know how to tell him. My lgbt friend told me to not rush it and take my time, but sometimes i feel more enby or even masculine, and everytime he uses she/her pronouns i feel like trowing up (in my native language, we don't have neutral pronouns and use feminine and masculine for almost every word).
I don't know what to do, if anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.
I’m bisexual however I am terrified of coming out to my parents. My parents are old-fashioned but I don’t know if that means they are homophobic, that would make coming out to them even harder. I don’t know how to ask if they support the “community”, I’ve been hoping it would just come out naturally but it hasn’t. I need ideas on both figuring out if they are homophobic and actually coming out to them…
So I’m really drained right now of dysphoria which really isn’t doing a lot of good for me right now because I want to talk about how I’m feeling but my hands and brain won’t actually let me properly type and this is taking a lot of energy already. So I’m writing in note form, summarising what I’ve been thinking and feeling, especially over the last few days:
- Feeling dysphoric because my parents wouldn’t accept me for who I am
- Knowing I can’t come out so I have to get misgendered everyday
- I use he/she/they pronouns but I hate the repetition and singular use of “she/her” pronouns because it’s my birth pronouns and I’m not a girl
- Internalised enbyphobia as I feel invalid because of my parents’ beliefs, leading me to feel ashamed because I’m also internally and unintentionally invalidating other nonbinary people at times in the process
- Denial. Surely I can’t be nonbinary? Where has this all come from as I was fine identifying as a girl before? I know this is dumb because the dysphoria and euphoria I feel is very much real. I’m not comfortable being a girl
- Scared of what other people’s views on nonbinary people will be when I go to my new environment (college). What if the friendship group I get into doesn’t accept me when I come out?
- Feeling wrong for using a new name before coming out as nonbinary. Also, what happens when I’m out in the street with parents and I could potentially bump into one of them and they address me by that name? Do I play it off as a nickname/joke name/inside joke between the group?
- Haha, I also have to tell my tutor for my course about my new name which will mean I’ll have to come out to them immediately, as my birthname will probably be on the system, just so the other people on my course don’t get confused and I have to out myself to them. I’ve thought about writing it in a note, and I think I’ll go with that, as it won’t cause as much anxiety as me forcing myself to actually tell them face to face and ending up not doing it because it’s too anxiety-inducing.
- What if everything at college goes downhill and I end up not telling people my name so I have to get deadnamed?
So yeah, I’m glad I did put it all in note form because, as it turns out, there’s a lot. Also I’m less drained right now after getting it all out which is good.