Dino’s Blog 2

[TinyDinos]

It just feels so hard to breathe right now 

[Duckie]

3 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Hi! I missed you over the weekend for sure :)

my dentist appt. went fine, I was kinda anxious but was able to calm down, the people were nice, and my main dentist was the same as my sisters’ so I’d met him before and that helped. My allergy is still on the rampage unfortunately, so it was a little bit hard to sleep yesterday even with the help of calamine lotion and cortisone gel :( It’ll heal eventually though so im trying to just ignore it and not let it scar if I can help it.

usually im not too good about being mindful of it, but that day it just happened to go that way and im grateful for that even if things didn’t quite work out. The diffuser is great! I got a new one (one for me and another for my sister as a Christmas gift so she doesn’t have to use mine) and used it yesterday and my hair looked amazing! It made my day honestly. Yeah I don’t know quite why it stopped working, but I figured it was either an accident or she didn’t realize something she did broke it because she quickly offered to help me pay for a new one and she doesn’t do that unless she’s genuine. I reassured her I wasn’t upset with her and not to worry about it, and honestly it’s true, even if she came to me saying that she broke it she obviously didn’t do it on purpose and it was bound to happen eventually. Plus I wasn’t really mad at her as much as the situation, so I just tried to treat it as if I wasn’t extra sensitive and emotional that day and she feels better about it.

There was dog hair that had to be swept up and that was the only specific thing. She complained about other stuff that was already cleaned up, and when it comes to sweeping, she said we’ve never done it (even though we have several times) and then when I offer to help so she doesn’t have to do it, so snaps at me that she’s already doing it and tells me to go be useful somewhere else. There’s no winning when she’s in a mood like that unfortunately. Something similar happened last night too and it’s annoying but harmless. As far as the passing through goes even if it’s to a minimum she says i do it all of the time and that I know better so I just don’t bother unless I have to leave for the restroom which she doesn’t care about. Yeah I’ve spoken with her. She usually just acts like everything’s fine after we fight which is irritating in the moment but I guess I prefer that to when she gives me silent treatment which thankfully isn’t often. But we’ve talked a bunch over the past several days, just not about anything like this y’know? Just casual life stuff

Hi @TinyDinos,

I am so happy that the dentist appointment went alright and that you felt safe going to this dentist. Sorry to hear your allergy is still acting up. Having tons of skin allergies myself I know how difficult these flare ups can be! Hopefully it goes away very soon.

It sounds like you and your sister are really close. It was so incredibly nice of you to not only forgive her, but to also get her her own diffuser for Christmas. That is such a thoughtful gift considering how much she likes yours! I've got to try one now! I've got an alright hair dryer, so maybe I can just add a nozzle to it. You did really well for acting in a kind manner even though you were feeling uspet and flustered at that moment. It is especially hard to be kind and forgiving when you're already having a bad day.

It sounds to me like maybe your mom has a lot going on right now. What do you think? I don't think either of those things validates snapping at you, but maybe working from home is causing her a lot more stress than she admits. This doesn't excuse snapping and accusing you etc. but it does explain it. Maybe you could gently bring up with her that you sometimes feel like you do everything right but still gets snapped at and how it makes you feel? It is your house too and I understand that you want to keep everyone happy and all, but grounding you for a week over some dog hair sounded a bit harsh. 

1 hour ago, TinyDinos said:

I’m so stressed out over school right now. My college English class has disappeared from my roster. My graduation is hinged on that class and now it’s just gone out of nowhere. I contact IT and they say it looks like I was dropped for inactivity despite the fact that I was active in the course yesterday. They say to contact my instructor, I call, no answer, I email, no reply. My mom told me she thinks I’m overreacting, and to calm down. I try to calm down and she asks how things are going and I tell her, and she asks why it would be showing me as inactive, and I tell her what I’ve done today to handle it, I told her I don’t understand why I would be dropped because I was active yesterday and I had a grade of B in the class. She starts hounding me asking why it was only a B and not an A, and I told her it was because I missed replies to a discussion post and she starts pressing as to why I missed it and then scolded me saying “I told you this wasn’t like high school, I told you” instead of helping. Then she wonders why I was panicking in the first place. I just had to work too. Im so exhausted and just feel like crying but I have nowhere to go right now. Just overall wanting to disappear just like that stupid class because I’m failing so hard right now I don’t know  the point even is in trying

Oh shoot, that would make me so stressed! I mean mistakes happen and all, but you are already feeling pressured by your workload so you really don't need more stuff on your plate. Is there someone else you can contact if you can't get in touch with your instructor in the next few days? I completely get that this would make you anxious. But please know that you've done the right thing and you've done everything you can. They will have to work this out.

I'm sorry your mom didn't say anything to reassure you like you would have needed at that point. Having A's or B's is beside the point if the issue is that your course is completely gone from your courses. It sounds a bit like she was undermining your feelings, if you don't mind me saying so. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but it sounds like she doesn't understand how this would affect you. Your feelings are valid and you've done nothing wrong. Maybe you could CC everyone else from that same department including a principal or director of studies etc. into that first original email chain where your teacher isn't replying. It might make them deal with it quicker.

Are you OK? 

[TinyDinos]

41 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

I am so happy that the dentist appointment went alright and that you felt safe going to this dentist. Sorry to hear your allergy is still acting up. Having tons of skin allergies myself I know how difficult these flare ups can be! Hopefully it goes away very soon.

It sounds like you and your sister are really close. It was so incredibly nice of you to not only forgive her, but to also get her her own diffuser for Christmas. That is such a thoughtful gift considering how much she likes yours! I've got to try one now! I've got an alright hair dryer, so maybe I can just add a nozzle to it. You did really well for acting in a kind manner even though you were feeling uspet and flustered at that moment. It is especially hard to be kind and forgiving when you're already having a bad day.

It sounds to me like maybe your mom has a lot going on right now. What do you think? I don't think either of those things validates snapping at you, but maybe working from home is causing her a lot more stress than she admits. This doesn't excuse snapping and accusing you etc. but it does explain it. Maybe you could gently bring up with her that you sometimes feel like you do everything right but still gets snapped at and how it makes you feel? It is your house too and I understand that you want to keep everyone happy and all, but grounding you for a week over some dog hair sounded a bit harsh. 

Oh shoot, that would make me so stressed! I mean mistakes happen and all, but you are already feeling pressured by your workload so you really don't need more stuff on your plate. Is there someone else you can contact if you can't get in touch with your instructor in the next few days? I completely get that this would make you anxious. But please know that you've done the right thing and you've done everything you can. They will have to work this out.

I'm sorry your mom didn't say anything to reassure you like you would have needed at that point. Having A's or B's is beside the point if the issue is that your course is completely gone from your courses. It sounds a bit like she was undermining your feelings, if you don't mind me saying so. I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but it sounds like she doesn't understand how this would affect you. Your feelings are valid and you've done nothing wrong. Maybe you could CC everyone else from that same department including a principal or director of studies etc. into that first original email chain where your teacher isn't replying. It might make them deal with it quicker.

Are you OK? 

Yeah I’m glad it went well too. I was really nervous at first and I think the lady who was working with me could tell so she started talking with me about school, how learning to drive was coming along, etc. and that helped too. Yeah I hope it goes away soon too because it’s so annoyingly itchy and it hurts if there’s any pressure on it so I have to be careful but the swelling makes that difficult.

yeah I love my sisters. They’re my best friends and I like showing them that appreciation as often as possible. I guess with all we’ve been through together, they’re the only ones who actually get what I’m going through because they’ve lived it too. I still wanna protect them from some things because I’m still their big sister, but it’s also nice knowing that I’m not the only one who’s gone through this. If nothing else we have each other. The diffuser I have is just the hair dryer that comes with the diffuser attachment, so im sure there’s a nozzle attachment for the one you have too, you’ve just gotta find one that fits I think. Thank you for all of your kind words of encouragement and support, it really does mean a lot.

I’ve talked with her before about how impossible it feels to do everything right sometimes, and how even if I do everything else right it feels like the only things that get focused on are the things I didn’t do. Long story short she didn’t take it very well. She said I was being over dramatic and a bunch of other stuff so I just don’t bother anymore. I really do love her and she’s an awesome person and mother, I just wish I could make her happy more often if that makes sense. I think that when she was growing up, her mother was extremely abusive both physically and emotionally, and she’s used to having her feelings invalidated and having to “suck it up” so to speak, so that’s really all she knows. I know it’ll help me in the long run and she doesn’t mean to hurt me with the way she speaks, but I guess I kinda wish it was done gentler? I dont think it’s realistic or that I’d grow at all that way, but sometimes I think I need my mom to comfort me rather than my boss/teacher telling me what I’m doing wrong, and I don’t think she gets that. Either way I’m ungrounded today, as it was just until after the weekend, and it was just video games. I wasn’t as upset over the loss of privileges as much as the false accusations 

im just really anxious. I contacted the Admissions Department now to try to get this remedied but I’m just so nervous that this isn’t gonna work. My mom doesn’t really do the whole comforting thing. I’m just kinda used to it, esp when it comes to school. I’m not too okay right now, but I’m listening to music and hopefully things will get better soon. 

[Duckie]

13 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah I’m glad it went well too. I was really nervous at first and I think the lady who was working with me could tell so she started talking with me about school, how learning to drive was coming along, etc. and that helped too. Yeah I hope it goes away soon too because it’s so annoyingly itchy and it hurts if there’s any pressure on it so I have to be careful but the swelling makes that difficult.

yeah I love my sisters. They’re my best friends and I like showing them that appreciation as often as possible. I guess with all we’ve been through together, they’re the only ones who actually get what I’m going through because they’ve lived it too. I still wanna protect them from some things because I’m still their big sister, but it’s also nice knowing that I’m not the only one who’s gone through this. If nothing else we have each other. The diffuser I have is just the hair dryer that comes with the diffuser attachment, so im sure there’s a nozzle attachment for the one you have too, you’ve just gotta find one that fits I think. Thank you for all of your kind words of encouragement and support, it really does mean a lot.

I’ve talked with her before about how impossible it feels to do everything right sometimes, and how even if I do everything else right it feels like the only things that get focused on are the things I didn’t do. Long story short she didn’t take it very well. She said I was being over dramatic and a bunch of other stuff so I just don’t bother anymore. I really do love her and she’s an awesome person and mother, I just wish I could make her happy more often if that makes sense. I think that when she was growing up, her mother was extremely abusive both physically and emotionally, and she’s used to having her feelings invalidated and having to “suck it up” so to speak, so that’s really all she knows. I know it’ll help me in the long run and she doesn’t mean to hurt me with the way she speaks, but I guess I kinda wish it was done gentler? I dont think it’s realistic or that I’d grow at all that way, but sometimes I think I need my mom to comfort me rather than my boss/teacher telling me what I’m doing wrong, and I don’t think she gets that. Either way I’m ungrounded today, as it was just until after the weekend, and it was just video games. I wasn’t as upset over the loss of privileges as much as the false accusations 

im just really anxious. I contacted the Admissions Department now to try to get this remedied but I’m just so nervous that this isn’t gonna work. My mom doesn’t really do the whole comforting thing. I’m just kinda used to it, esp when it comes to school. I’m not too okay right now, but I’m listening to music and hopefully things will get better soon. 

Hi @TinyDinos,

Awww that's wonderful. How kind of the lady to find a way to distract you and calm you down when you were feeling nervous. I always love when people show compassion like that.

You and your sisters seem really close. I am so happy for you to have them. You seem to really take care of them too :) Will defo get a diffuser now! Anything to blow a bit of life into my scraggly birdsnest xD

It sounds like you've done everything to explain to your mom that you wish she would have reasonable expectations, and to voice them in a gentler way. Maybe a part of her wants to understand, but another part of her doesn't feel capable of understanding this, because she is talking to you the way her parents used to talk to her. You are very mindful of her journey and she is still a really great mom and all. This part just might always be a bit snippier than you would have preferred. Are you OK with that? Out of curiosity, how do you reckon she would react if you said things in the same way to her? Do you think she would react or just go on as usual? I am asking this because I am curious if it will help her realise thart this is the way she talks. Not suggesting you do it or anything; just wondering if this situation has occured before.

I completely get that this would make you feel anxious. Especially when you are left to play the waiting game. You have done everything you can now to rectify this mistake so hopefully they will get back to you soon. I'm thinking they need to do some communication in between themselves and then sort this in the next few days. Are you still able to get on with your school work despite this?

[TinyDinos]

6 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

Awww that's wonderful. How kind of the lady to find a way to distract you and calm you down when you were feeling nervous. I always love when people show compassion like that.

You and your sisters seem really close. I am so happy for you to have them. You seem to really take care of them too :) Will defo get a diffuser now! Anything to blow a bit of life into my scraggly birdsnest xD

It sounds like you've done everything to explain to your mom that you wish she would have reasonable expectations, and to voice them in a gentler way. Maybe a part of her wants to understand, but another part of her doesn't feel capable of understanding this, because she is talking to you the way her parents used to talk to her. You are very mindful of her journey and she is still a really great mom and all. This part just might always be a bit snippier than you would have preferred. Are you OK with that? Out of curiosity, how do you reckon she would react if you said things in the same way to her? Do you think she would react or just go on as usual? I am asking this because I am curious if it will help her realise thart this is the way she talks. Not suggesting you do it or anything; just wondering if this situation has occured before.

I completely get that this would make you feel anxious. Especially when you are left to play the waiting game. You have done everything you can now to rectify this mistake so hopefully they will get back to you soon. I'm thinking they need to do some communication in between themselves and then sort this in the next few days. Are you still able to get on with your school work despite this?

Yeah I think compassion is the best weather from strangers or when you show it to someone else yourself. I try to do that if possible but y’know, nobody’s perfect and I’m still really mean a majority of the time I think. idk ask my sisters lol. And yesss! The diffuser definitely helps with frizz and all that. My hair is suuuuper curly (between type 3b and 3c, but closer to 3b) and I have a lot of it haha, when straightened it’s down to the backs of my knees in length, and it’s super thick, using the diffuser made it a breeze to deal with for like two days which I was super grateful for. 

I’ve just kinda come to accept that from her I guess. I do kinda wish it wasn’t as snappy, especially because I do work really hard too and I feel very invalidated not just from her but my siblings too, but like, I think it’s worse coming from her. My sisters are immature, they’re kids, they’re gonna say all kinds of things that don’t matter. But when my mom validates things like that it becomes hurtful because my parent agrees in saying that I don’t do anything to help and I don’t work hard and I haven’t earned anything that I have, and that’s that part that sucks. It’s not something that happens all of the time, but it’s those things that get remembered I guess. It’s a lot easier to remember negative things than nice ones, just because I think after one negative thing happens, there’s always that wariness when something good happens, like a constant “what if this isn’t true? What if im being tricked here?” Y’know?

i highly doubt if I spoke to her the way she spoke to me she would take it in any other way besides disrespectful :/ I say this because even when talking to her nicely she turns prickly if anyone says anything contrary to what she’s saying. For example, a few nights ago we were all cleaning and she stops randomly and snaps saying that my sisters and I aren’t helping. I tell her “no, I just cleaned up the music stuff we brought out, put away all of my school materials and cleaned off the dining room table of anything that didn’t belong” and she got more snippy saying how that wasn’t true, and when she was looking at me I was wandering around idly and started walking around like a zombie mimicking what she was talking about. Then she said for me to stop wasting time trying to debate with her and go be useful and helpful and sent me to clean the bathrooms. I get this I wasn’t really a recommendation as much as a “what if” scenario, but yeah I don’t think she’d take too kindly to that unfortunately :/

as far as the college nightmare goes, hopefully this will be fixed soon. Admissions got back to me fairly quickly and gave me instructions to give to my Professor to be reinstated, and I did what they said, CCing them in so they could see if she replied or not (and surprise surprise, she didn’t.) so I emailed AGAIN and they just gave me new instructions for what to do next. A whole day wasted that I could’ve spent working in that class. In the meantime I’m just working in my other class that I still have access to so I don’t fall behind.

[Duckie]

3 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah I think compassion is the best weather from strangers or when you show it to someone else yourself. I try to do that if possible but y’know, nobody’s perfect and I’m still really mean a majority of the time I think. idk ask my sisters lol. And yesss! The diffuser definitely helps with frizz and all that. My hair is suuuuper curly (between type 3b and 3c, but closer to 3b) and I have a lot of it haha, when straightened it’s down to the backs of my knees in length, and it’s super thick, using the diffuser made it a breeze to deal with for like two days which I was super grateful for. 

I’ve just kinda come to accept that from her I guess. I do kinda wish it wasn’t as snappy, especially because I do work really hard too and I feel very invalidated not just from her but my siblings too, but like, I think it’s worse coming from her. My sisters are immature, they’re kids, they’re gonna say all kinds of things that don’t matter. But when my mom validates things like that it becomes hurtful because my parent agrees in saying that I don’t do anything to help and I don’t work hard and I haven’t earned anything that I have, and that’s that part that sucks. It’s not something that happens all of the time, but it’s those things that get remembered I guess. It’s a lot easier to remember negative things than nice ones, just because I think after one negative thing happens, there’s always that wariness when something good happens, like a constant “what if this isn’t true? What if im being tricked here?” Y’know?

i highly doubt if I spoke to her the way she spoke to me she would take it in any other way besides disrespectful :/ I say this because even when talking to her nicely she turns prickly if anyone says anything contrary to what she’s saying. For example, a few nights ago we were all cleaning and she stops randomly and snaps saying that my sisters and I aren’t helping. I tell her “no, I just cleaned up the music stuff we brought out, put away all of my school materials and cleaned off the dining room table of anything that didn’t belong” and she got more snippy saying how that wasn’t true, and when she was looking at me I was wandering around idly and started walking around like a zombie mimicking what she was talking about. Then she said for me to stop wasting time trying to debate with her and go be useful and helpful and sent me to clean the bathrooms. I get this I wasn’t really a recommendation as much as a “what if” scenario, but yeah I don’t think she’d take too kindly to that unfortunately :/

as far as the college nightmare goes, hopefully this will be fixed soon. Admissions got back to me fairly quickly and gave me instructions to give to my Professor to be reinstated, and I did what they said, CCing them in so they could see if she replied or not (and surprise surprise, she didn’t.) so I emailed AGAIN and they just gave me new instructions for what to do next. A whole day wasted that I could’ve spent working in that class. In the meantime I’m just working in my other class that I still have access to so I don’t fall behind.

Hi @TinyDinos,

Of course nobody's perfect. We all have moments when we just can't be asked to be polite and understanding all the time. We all get flustered and frustrated, but the main point is that we reflect on our actions and think about how we would like to be treated and how we would like to treat others.

I can't help but think that your mom isn't very in touch with her feelings and how they affect others. It seems that she isn't able to see a scenario where anyone else has a valid point and it's a shame because you are not a child anymore and you are going to disagree with her occassionally. There might be a part of her that hasn't yet grasped that you and your sisters are growing up and that you are going to want to do things your own way. It does sound like you can't really win. Does she ever thank you or show appreciation for the things you do? I'm not saying she isn't appreciating you, but only asking if she actually says that she does every now and then. Sometimes parents get into a pattern where they will only say when you've done something wrong rather than point out all or any of the things their children have done right. It might be a habit that she's not being too mindful about. But regardless it sounds a bit damned if you do damned if you don't. Maybe it's whom she had to become to cope once upon a time. What do you think?

Sorry to hear that. Omg why isn't your Professor answering emails!? Literally their job to do so! It's a good thing Admissions can see how much effort you're putting into this. I really hope you receive an answer soon. Well done for getting in touch with Admissions. At least you're on their radar now!

[TinyDinos]

5 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

Of course nobody's perfect. We all have moments when we just can't be asked to be polite and understanding all the time. We all get flustered and frustrated, but the main point is that we reflect on our actions and think about how we would like to be treated and how we would like to treat others.

I can't help but think that your mom isn't very in touch with her feelings and how they affect others. It seems that she isn't able to see a scenario where anyone else has a valid point and it's a shame because you are not a child anymore and you are going to disagree with her occassionally. There might be a part of her that hasn't yet grasped that you and your sisters are growing up and that you are going to want to do things your own way. It does sound like you can't really win. Does she ever thank you or show appreciation for the things you do? I'm not saying she isn't appreciating you, but only asking if she actually says that she does every now and then. Sometimes parents get into a pattern where they will only say when you've done something wrong rather than point out all or any of the things their children have done right. It might be a habit that she's not being too mindful about. But regardless it sounds a bit damned if you do damned if you don't. Maybe it's whom she had to become to cope once upon a time. What do you think?

Sorry to hear that. Omg why isn't your Professor answering emails!? Literally their job to do so! It's a good thing Admissions can see how much effort you're putting into this. I really hope you receive an answer soon. Well done for getting in touch with Admissions. At least you're on their radar now!

Yeah of course. 

she definitely is on the stricter side about certain things. We can debate occasionally if she’s in the mood, but never when we’re getting in trouble, whether the punishment is deserved or not. Only some situations are checkmate scenarios so to speak. It does feel sometimes that there’s no winning with her, but she’s great a majority of the time so I just kinda leave it alone. She does tell me that she appreciates me fairly consistently, so I don’t really think I’m allowed to complain when it comes to this stuff haha. I feel kinda bad when I do complain because she really is amazing and I feel like I’m ungrateful for everything as soon as I start whining about trivial things like being grounded tbh. The only times she doesn’t appreciate what I’m doing is like, when it’s stuff that “expected of me” like babysitting my sisters, or doing chores without being asked etc. but it’s only a problem for me when she not only doesn’t acknowledge that I did it right in the first place, but goes as far as to claim I didn’t do it/ have never done it. Then it just feels like all my hard work is for nothing if that makes sense. She also does this about school. We’ve been raised with the mentality of “school is our only job so there’s no excuses for bad grades”, so not being congratulated on good performance, high expectations, and pressure pertaining to school are normal, although that doesn’t make it any easier. This year has been the hardest trying to explain to her how much this has affected me because I think she just really doesn’t understand how anxious school makes me now. Between the pressure to perform well and go to college, and the stress of having to just get the highest grade by any means necessary is difficult, and it’s very invalidating when I’m crying from the stress in front of her and I just get told that I’m blowing things out of proportion. We argue really only over school because she wants me to keep achieving more and more and I’m trying to slow down a bit. I’ve already been skipped twice and I’m going to graduate in winter with 25 college credits (I’ll be 16 when this happens) and it still just feels like it’s not enough sometimes. I think she wants the best for me and thinks I’m shying away from potential but I’m just overwhelmed by pressure to perform well and she doesn’t see things that way I guess. She has started acknowledging my good performance in class this school year though after a particularly bad fight we had a little under a a year ago however and I’m really grateful for that. Ugh, my relationships with the adults in my life are so strained I think it’s actually making me dizzy. I’m usually so good with pleasing people, especially adults, so it’s weird to me that I’m struggling so much with the people who I’m supposed to feel the most at ease with. I just don’t know what piece of this puzzle I’m missing.

College update though, I’m reinstated in the class FINALLY. My Professor got back to me in the afternoon with some BS excuse for dropping me from the class, and after a lot of sucking up and explaining how I was sick and everything, she was not a very nice person and gave me hell while getting resituated in the class. Being entirely honest, it doesn’t really matter, I got what I wanted, but I don’t get how some people can just talk to strangers however they want and just be fine with it. She was like, genuinely mean and was just cool with it. She knows I’m still in high school taking her class. She knows I’m just 16, and she literally couldn’t be bothered to do her job for two days but she still had enough energy to be unsavory towards me. Being entirely honest I think she’s just being salty because she probably got in trouble since I had to get her boss involved to get her to reply to an email . But like, it’s whatever. I stayed respectful, and I ultimately got what I wanted so I really can’t complain. 

[Duckie]

7 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah of course. 

she definitely is on the stricter side about certain things. We can debate occasionally if she’s in the mood, but never when we’re getting in trouble, whether the punishment is deserved or not. Only some situations are checkmate scenarios so to speak. It does feel sometimes that there’s no winning with her, but she’s great a majority of the time so I just kinda leave it alone. She does tell me that she appreciates me fairly consistently, so I don’t really think I’m allowed to complain when it comes to this stuff haha. I feel kinda bad when I do complain because she really is amazing and I feel like I’m ungrateful for everything as soon as I start whining about trivial things like being grounded tbh. The only times she doesn’t appreciate what I’m doing is like, when it’s stuff that “expected of me” like babysitting my sisters, or doing chores without being asked etc. but it’s only a problem for me when she not only doesn’t acknowledge that I did it right in the first place, but goes as far as to claim I didn’t do it/ have never done it. Then it just feels like all my hard work is for nothing if that makes sense. She also does this about school. We’ve been raised with the mentality of “school is our only job so there’s no excuses for bad grades”, so not being congratulated on good performance, high expectations, and pressure pertaining to school are normal, although that doesn’t make it any easier. This year has been the hardest trying to explain to her how much this has affected me because I think she just really doesn’t understand how anxious school makes me now. Between the pressure to perform well and go to college, and the stress of having to just get the highest grade by any means necessary is difficult, and it’s very invalidating when I’m crying from the stress in front of her and I just get told that I’m blowing things out of proportion. We argue really only over school because she wants me to keep achieving more and more and I’m trying to slow down a bit. I’ve already been skipped twice and I’m going to graduate in winter with 25 college credits (I’ll be 16 when this happens) and it still just feels like it’s not enough sometimes. I think she wants the best for me and thinks I’m shying away from potential but I’m just overwhelmed by pressure to perform well and she doesn’t see things that way I guess. She has started acknowledging my good performance in class this school year though after a particularly bad fight we had a little under a a year ago however and I’m really grateful for that. Ugh, my relationships with the adults in my life are so strained I think it’s actually making me dizzy. I’m usually so good with pleasing people, especially adults, so it’s weird to me that I’m struggling so much with the people who I’m supposed to feel the most at ease with. I just don’t know what piece of this puzzle I’m missing.

College update though, I’m reinstated in the class FINALLY. My Professor got back to me in the afternoon with some BS excuse for dropping me from the class, and after a lot of sucking up and explaining how I was sick and everything, she was not a very nice person and gave me hell while getting resituated in the class. Being entirely honest, it doesn’t really matter, I got what I wanted, but I don’t get how some people can just talk to strangers however they want and just be fine with it. She was like, genuinely mean and was just cool with it. She knows I’m still in high school taking her class. She knows I’m just 16, and she literally couldn’t be bothered to do her job for two days but she still had enough energy to be unsavory towards me. Being entirely honest I think she’s just being salty because she probably got in trouble since I had to get her boss involved to get her to reply to an email . But like, it’s whatever. I stayed respectful, and I ultimately got what I wanted so I really can’t complain. 

I completely get that. Thank you for explaining it so well. I can understand that she wants you to do well in school. I think it is what all parents want for their kids, because it just opens up a lot more opportunities in life for them. But that said, there's not going to be a catastrophical consequence if you got B's and C's occassionally. So many people can't deal with school full stop and struggle to find things that they are interested in, as well as studying this independently. So you truly have done amazingly and the most important thing is that you feel happy with your own achievements. It's not worth burning out for of course. But considering it's been a long while since your mom was in school herself, she might have lost touch with how much work it is. Looking back I think college was a lot harder than uni, because there although the subjects were less advanced, there were more of them and school overall is just a lot more intense when you are studying multiple things at once. Do you know what you would like to do after you've graduated?

Omg finally! I am so happy for you! How do you feel now that you're back in the class? I can't believe the professor had to be so rude to you about it. Regardless what she thinks in regards to attendance and whatnot I still don't think it's the proper way to go about it to just drop you from the class without so much as a notification. That is really unprofessional. It's good if she got in trouble because I'm pretty sure she isn't authorised to just drop you from a class like that. But you definitely have the right mindset about this - you got what you wanted and you can be proud to know that you didn't lose your cool when the professor was rude to you.

[TinyDinos]

6 hours ago, Duckie said:

I completely get that. Thank you for explaining it so well. I can understand that she wants you to do well in school. I think it is what all parents want for their kids, because it just opens up a lot more opportunities in life for them. But that said, there's not going to be a catastrophical consequence if you got B's and C's occassionally. So many people can't deal with school full stop and struggle to find things that they are interested in, as well as studying this independently. So you truly have done amazingly and the most important thing is that you feel happy with your own achievements. It's not worth burning out for of course. But considering it's been a long while since your mom was in school herself, she might have lost touch with how much work it is. Looking back I think college was a lot harder than uni, because there although the subjects were less advanced, there were more of them and school overall is just a lot more intense when you are studying multiple things at once. Do you know what you would like to do after you've graduated?

Omg finally! I am so happy for you! How do you feel now that you're back in the class? I can't believe the professor had to be so rude to you about it. Regardless what she thinks in regards to attendance and whatnot I still don't think it's the proper way to go about it to just drop you from the class without so much as a notification. That is really unprofessional. It's good if she got in trouble because I'm pretty sure she isn't authorised to just drop you from a class like that. But you definitely have the right mindset about this - you got what you wanted and you can be proud to know that you didn't lose your cool when the professor was rude to you.

Yeah and I know she really does want the best for me as she’s told me so before, but she’s missing tact. She’s really good at school too. She helps me with my work when I have questions but she’s also a very motivated person by nature and I don’t think she realized that I don’t really have that constant grit so to speak. I like achieving my goals, but some days I genuinely can’t even be bothered to muster up enough energy to sit up in my bed, let alone write a college-level essay. Part of it is my fault though. I’ve performed so highly for so long I think it set an expectation for my abilities and they maintain that expectation. My poor sisters feel the pressure from that too unfortunately I inadvertently made them feel the need to perform like I did academically and I didn’t mean to. I’ve reassured them that nobody expects them to do things like me and that they’re doing amazing things as well without comparing themselves to me and they seem okay with that, but I can tell they still compare themselves. It’s hard to change a mindset. 

After I graduate I’m trying to get my GED out of the way (and I’m already partially there) so by the end of this academic year (hopefully) I’ll be graduating high school and get my associates degree in college. I’m currently a professional musician and music teacher so I’ll probably go the music route after that. I’m also thinking about going to CBU but we might be moving within the next year or so, so idk yet. 

im just relieved that I was able to get back in I had to fight so hard to get into it in the first place I didn’t want to lose it. But hey, at the end of the day I’m in it and that’s all that matters. That teacher was just a nightmare to deal with, I’m glad that’s over now. She said according to school policy she dropped me without prior notice she also said she was trying to protect my academic standing and dropped me with my best interests in mind, but I’m calling BS on that one. None of our interactions lead me to believe she was doing it because she cared about my best interest. She got whatever she got, and I got back in the class . Honestly I’m just gonna smile a lot, and hope that she keeps giving me what I want lol. Either way she’s about to be annoyed with me, she wants me to respond to all of her announcements and whatnot, fine. She’s about to be really sick of seeing my name pop up in her notifs fr. She was literally so weird over nothing I submitted a paper and she emailed me because I put my first name on the paper and the course uses my middle name because of a mistake. She got all weird like “who is *my first name* who is that??” All weird lol

[Duckie]

17 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah and I know she really does want the best for me as she’s told me so before, but she’s missing tact. She’s really good at school too. She helps me with my work when I have questions but she’s also a very motivated person by nature and I don’t think she realized that I don’t really have that constant grit so to speak. I like achieving my goals, but some days I genuinely can’t even be bothered to muster up enough energy to sit up in my bed, let alone write a college-level essay. Part of it is my fault though. I’ve performed so highly for so long I think it set an expectation for my abilities and they maintain that expectation. My poor sisters feel the pressure from that too unfortunately I inadvertently made them feel the need to perform like I did academically and I didn’t mean to. I’ve reassured them that nobody expects them to do things like me and that they’re doing amazing things as well without comparing themselves to me and they seem okay with that, but I can tell they still compare themselves. It’s hard to change a mindset. 

After I graduate I’m trying to get my GED out of the way (and I’m already partially there) so by the end of this academic year (hopefully) I’ll be graduating high school and get my associates degree in college. I’m currently a professional musician and music teacher so I’ll probably go the music route after that. I’m also thinking about going to CBU but we might be moving within the next year or so, so idk yet. 

im just relieved that I was able to get back in I had to fight so hard to get into it in the first place I didn’t want to lose it. But hey, at the end of the day I’m in it and that’s all that matters. That teacher was just a nightmare to deal with, I’m glad that’s over now. She said according to school policy she dropped me without prior notice she also said she was trying to protect my academic standing and dropped me with my best interests in mind, but I’m calling BS on that one. None of our interactions lead me to believe she was doing it because she cared about my best interest. She got whatever she got, and I got back in the class . Honestly I’m just gonna smile a lot, and hope that she keeps giving me what I want lol. Either way she’s about to be annoyed with me, she wants me to respond to all of her announcements and whatnot, fine. She’s about to be really sick of seeing my name pop up in her notifs fr. She was literally so weird over nothing I submitted a paper and she emailed me because I put my first name on the paper and the course uses my middle name because of a mistake. She got all weird like “who is *my first name* who is that??” All weird lol

Hi @TinyDinos,

I think it's very mindful of you to consider how your achievements might reflect on your little sisters. And you might be on to something regarding people expecting a certain standard from you education wise, because you've only ever gone above and beyond before. I bet you can't wait to be done with it! The mind is like a battery - it can run for longer than you thought was possible, but it still needs to be recharged. Are you getting enough time for yourself and for pursuing things that are important for your well-being?

Oh wow! I didn't realise I was speaking to a fellow musician! What do you play? :)

So am I! That sounds so stressful for you! OMG what a load of shit... how is it in YOUR BEST INTEREST to be dropped without explanation, when she didn't have reason to drop you in the first place! xD The logic is imploding! She is clearly fed up with her job, but you left this situation as the bigger person and that's going to really piss her off! 

[TinyDinos]

On 9/28/2023 at 4:13 AM, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

I think it's very mindful of you to consider how your achievements might reflect on your little sisters. And you might be on to something regarding people expecting a certain standard from you education wise, because you've only ever gone above and beyond before. I bet you can't wait to be done with it! The mind is like a battery - it can run for longer than you thought was possible, but it still needs to be recharged. Are you getting enough time for yourself and for pursuing things that are important for your well-being?

Oh wow! I didn't realise I was speaking to a fellow musician! What do you play? :)

So am I! That sounds so stressful for you! OMG what a load of shit... how is it in YOUR BEST INTEREST to be dropped without explanation, when she didn't have reason to drop you in the first place! xD The logic is imploding! She is clearly fed up with her job, but you left this situation as the bigger person and that's going to really piss her off! 

Thanks. I honestly had no idea it happened until meeting my friend who has an older brother a little bit similar to me and she felt super pressured and was talking to me about it, then my sister wound up confessing to me months later that she felt that way described almost exactly how my friend had and I kinda had a moment like “woah, this thing is happening in my family too.” It was weird but still good to be aware of.

yeah I am really ready to be done haha. I just made plans with my counselor yesterday to solidify more college classes for the next semester and I will officially graduate high school early w a bunch of extra credits and I’ll graduate college early too bc of the college credit I got ahead of time, so the hard work is worth it! I feel great about it. I like that analogy about the battery. I think I’m doing okay, I tend to lean more towards working harder, rest later, but I do have enough recharge time I think. I spend a good amount of time with my family and I listen to stuff I enjoy while I’m working so it doesn’t feel too much like work. It’s also great to homeschool bc of that, I can work at whatever pace I want, so I can do things like what I did this week, and do my work early so I can have a day off. I finished all of my work for the week yesterday so I have no work today! 

hehe yep! I didn’t realize you were a musician too! I play a bunch of instruments, mainly strings. I play piano, ukulele, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, drums, clarinet, various Latin percussion, and I sing. As far as teaching goes though I only teach guitar (acoustic and electric, respectively), ukulele, piano, and voice, as well a group class geared towards introduction to music theory. Lots of fun! What do you play? :)

literally what I was saying!!! Like, how is it protecting me to be dropped from the class IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR? And shouldn’t that be my choice to fail the class vs withdraw?? Especially because she did it after the deadline passed, so I’d have to pay a withdrawal fee. All around just not cool. But my parents and teachers and all that are all on my side on this so I know I’m not going crazy lmao. These credits are gonna be so sweet though after all of the fighting I had to do for them. Anybody who knows me can tell you i am in no way a spiteful person, but I am going to absolutely RELISH in this small but important victory haha. Next semester I’m just doing math (a little nervous but it’s better than dealing with this lady in English) and government so it’s gonna be mostly easy. But then I’m doneeeee :D

[Duckie]

On 9/29/2023 at 3:51 PM, TinyDinos said:

Thanks. I honestly had no idea it happened until meeting my friend who has an older brother a little bit similar to me and she felt super pressured and was talking to me about it, then my sister wound up confessing to me months later that she felt that way described almost exactly how my friend had and I kinda had a moment like “woah, this thing is happening in my family too.” It was weird but still good to be aware of.

yeah I am really ready to be done haha. I just made plans with my counselor yesterday to solidify more college classes for the next semester and I will officially graduate high school early w a bunch of extra credits and I’ll graduate college early too bc of the college credit I got ahead of time, so the hard work is worth it! I feel great about it. I like that analogy about the battery. I think I’m doing okay, I tend to lean more towards working harder, rest later, but I do have enough recharge time I think. I spend a good amount of time with my family and I listen to stuff I enjoy while I’m working so it doesn’t feel too much like work. It’s also great to homeschool bc of that, I can work at whatever pace I want, so I can do things like what I did this week, and do my work early so I can have a day off. I finished all of my work for the week yesterday so I have no work today! 

hehe yep! I didn’t realize you were a musician too! I play a bunch of instruments, mainly strings. I play piano, ukulele, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, drums, clarinet, various Latin percussion, and I sing. As far as teaching goes though I only teach guitar (acoustic and electric, respectively), ukulele, piano, and voice, as well a group class geared towards introduction to music theory. Lots of fun! What do you play? :)

literally what I was saying!!! Like, how is it protecting me to be dropped from the class IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR? And shouldn’t that be my choice to fail the class vs withdraw?? Especially because she did it after the deadline passed, so I’d have to pay a withdrawal fee. All around just not cool. But my parents and teachers and all that are all on my side on this so I know I’m not going crazy lmao. These credits are gonna be so sweet though after all of the fighting I had to do for them. Anybody who knows me can tell you i am in no way a spiteful person, but I am going to absolutely RELISH in this small but important victory haha. Next semester I’m just doing math (a little nervous but it’s better than dealing with this lady in English) and government so it’s gonna be mostly easy. But then I’m doneeeee :D

Hi @TinyDinos

You're absolutely right! Growing up with a big brother who was pretty much always better at everything than me (except his general behaviour, lol), it is the kind of thing I would have liked him to be mindful of. It sounds like you and your sisters are really close for her to confess this to you :)

It sounds like you are working extra hard now to ensure you can take it easier in the future. Is that fair to say? It sounds like homeschooling has been an ideal way of working for you. A lot of people would find it hard to study independently like you have and be responsible for their own workload and time. Are your sisters home schooled too?

I did a college degree in music and production back in the days :) My main instrument is singing, which I do very well. I am useless with instruments as it turns out, but my singing makes up for it. I have a little turqouise ukulele that I like to practise from time to time, so any advice you might have on how to improve my uke playing would be amazing! I got it when I went through a breakup a few years back, so it's known as 'the breakup ukulele'  I loved studying music history and my favourite genre to play is jazz, blues and classical rock. Although my voice is more built for emotional ballads, conflictingly enough.

Omg, did you have to pay the fee in the end? It sounds like this teacher was just in a bad mood and took it out on you to be honest. Have you heard from her since? Have you raised a formal complaint about this? No pressure or anything to do so, but it does sound like this was deliberate from her side. I can't wait for you to finally be done! You have worked so hard for this and you have done so well. Your mom must be so proud :)

[TinyDinos]

On 10/1/2023 at 12:43 PM, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos

You're absolutely right! Growing up with a big brother who was pretty much always better at everything than me (except his general behaviour, lol), it is the kind of thing I would have liked him to be mindful of. It sounds like you and your sisters are really close for her to confess this to you :)

It sounds like you are working extra hard now to ensure you can take it easier in the future. Is that fair to say? It sounds like homeschooling has been an ideal way of working for you. A lot of people would find it hard to study independently like you have and be responsible for their own workload and time. Are your sisters home schooled too?

I did a college degree in music and production back in the days :) My main instrument is singing, which I do very well. I am useless with instruments as it turns out, but my singing makes up for it. I have a little turqouise ukulele that I like to practise from time to time, so any advice you might have on how to improve my uke playing would be amazing! I got it when I went through a breakup a few years back, so it's known as 'the breakup ukulele'  I loved studying music history and my favourite genre to play is jazz, blues and classical rock. Although my voice is more built for emotional ballads, conflictingly enough.

Omg, did you have to pay the fee in the end? It sounds like this teacher was just in a bad mood and took it out on you to be honest. Have you heard from her since? Have you raised a formal complaint about this? No pressure or anything to do so, but it does sound like this was deliberate from her side. I can't wait for you to finally be done! You have worked so hard for this and you have done so well. Your mom must be so proud :)

Hey! Sorry for being gone for so long :( life has been a bit hectic because I’ve been sick again and busy w school with exams and papers and whatnot. I’m still alive though I promise! 

haha yeah, talking with a friend in that position really helped me be a bit more self aware for sure, and I’m glad my sister trusted me enough to talk it through w me. I’m doing great in school rn! A’s in both classes :) I’ll also finish high school with a years worth of my associates degree done so I’m feeling pumped about that I also have my driving test on Nov. 1st so maybe I’ll be driving soon! lots of good vibes rn ig. My sisters are homeschooled too, and it’s pretty chill. We’re pretty good about working for the most part and we finish early so it works great. 

No way!!!! That’s so epic! Ukulele is my second best instrument (after guitar) and it’s the one that made me fall in love with strings :) ive been playing ukulele for a little over six years now, and I really love it. If you have any questions at all lmk! I’d love to teach whatever I can :) I also love that it’s the “breakup ukulele” lol. I’ve learned that voice is an instrument like any other, and can be very versatile. Guitar can be used to play many different styles as long as you adjust the technique to match the genre. Same goes for voice :) it sounds like you’ve got a super powerful one too! Id try emulating little vocal techniques you hear in your favorite music and practicing them, it’s a great way to learn! Some awesome yt channels I love for vocal training and techniques are Cheryl Porter, and Aussie Vocal Coach, respectively. Their content is awesome! I could honestly talk about music all day if you let me haha  

OKAY I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THAT TEACHER!

I didn’t pay anything because I was reinstated, which was awesome. She genuinely disliked me I think, and that’s like, super weird for me, because I’m REALLY good at communicating with adults, like in my entire school career, I’ve only had one teacher who disliked me for something entirely out of my control. But every other teacher I’ve ever had has said nothing but what a pleasure it is to work with me and how easy I make their job etc, like I’ve literally had two teachers who have liked me so much that they delegated tasks to me that involved helping other students because they thought I could explain it better, like, I am a grade A teacher’s pet and I’m not even exaggerating, so it’s weird if an adult at all, let alone a teacher, dislikes me or gives me a hard time. This being said, I figure, my writing assignments in that class are heavily weighted, and my professor has office hours to edit your paper etc. so I schedule time with her and I spend almost three hours on this call working with her. She showed me EVERYTHING, I mean every single thing I could use to improve my draft, and she said my writing skills were strong and she gave me a bunch of pointers to get as many points as possible, and like worked with me in an older assignment and gave me an extension on it until Monday to work on it. Why is she being so nice to me all of a sudden? Because I talked to her. 

as it turns out, she’s an older lady (been teaching for over 50 years) and she’s had high schoolers in her class before and hates them. They’re immature, and don’t take the class seriously. (She told me about one kid who used AI to write his papers and was just overall a bad student.) it came up in conversation that I was born in New York rather than in California (where I’m at now) and her whole tone changed. I mean, like full 180. She went on and on about how she could tell i wasn’t immature and irresponsible like the other California teens, and how she trusts me and all that and told me to come back to her office hours whenever I’d like and where to get Extra Credit points and all of that. Like, I totally became friends with the scary English teacher on accident lmao. So yeah that’s how my hectic week went, and she isn’t giving me trouble anymore haha.

[Duckie]

11 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

Hey! Sorry for being gone for so long :( life has been a bit hectic because I’ve been sick again and busy w school with exams and papers and whatnot. I’m still alive though I promise! 

haha yeah, talking with a friend in that position really helped me be a bit more self aware for sure, and I’m glad my sister trusted me enough to talk it through w me. I’m doing great in school rn! A’s in both classes :) I’ll also finish high school with a years worth of my associates degree done so I’m feeling pumped about that I also have my driving test on Nov. 1st so maybe I’ll be driving soon! lots of good vibes rn ig. My sisters are homeschooled too, and it’s pretty chill. We’re pretty good about working for the most part and we finish early so it works great. 

No way!!!! That’s so epic! Ukulele is my second best instrument (after guitar) and it’s the one that made me fall in love with strings :) ive been playing ukulele for a little over six years now, and I really love it. If you have any questions at all lmk! I’d love to teach whatever I can :) I also love that it’s the “breakup ukulele” lol. I’ve learned that voice is an instrument like any other, and can be very versatile. Guitar can be used to play many different styles as long as you adjust the technique to match the genre. Same goes for voice :) it sounds like you’ve got a super powerful one too! Id try emulating little vocal techniques you hear in your favorite music and practicing them, it’s a great way to learn! Some awesome yt channels I love for vocal training and techniques are Cheryl Porter, and Aussie Vocal Coach, respectively. Their content is awesome! I could honestly talk about music all day if you let me haha  

OKAY I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THAT TEACHER!

I didn’t pay anything because I was reinstated, which was awesome. She genuinely disliked me I think, and that’s like, super weird for me, because I’m REALLY good at communicating with adults, like in my entire school career, I’ve only had one teacher who disliked me for something entirely out of my control. But every other teacher I’ve ever had has said nothing but what a pleasure it is to work with me and how easy I make their job etc, like I’ve literally had two teachers who have liked me so much that they delegated tasks to me that involved helping other students because they thought I could explain it better, like, I am a grade A teacher’s pet and I’m not even exaggerating, so it’s weird if an adult at all, let alone a teacher, dislikes me or gives me a hard time. This being said, I figure, my writing assignments in that class are heavily weighted, and my professor has office hours to edit your paper etc. so I schedule time with her and I spend almost three hours on this call working with her. She showed me EVERYTHING, I mean every single thing I could use to improve my draft, and she said my writing skills were strong and she gave me a bunch of pointers to get as many points as possible, and like worked with me in an older assignment and gave me an extension on it until Monday to work on it. Why is she being so nice to me all of a sudden? Because I talked to her. 

as it turns out, she’s an older lady (been teaching for over 50 years) and she’s had high schoolers in her class before and hates them. They’re immature, and don’t take the class seriously. (She told me about one kid who used AI to write his papers and was just overall a bad student.) it came up in conversation that I was born in New York rather than in California (where I’m at now) and her whole tone changed. I mean, like full 180. She went on and on about how she could tell i wasn’t immature and irresponsible like the other California teens, and how she trusts me and all that and told me to come back to her office hours whenever I’d like and where to get Extra Credit points and all of that. Like, I totally became friends with the scary English teacher on accident lmao. So yeah that’s how my hectic week went, and she isn’t giving me trouble anymore haha.

Hi @TinyDinos,

No worries at all dear. Sorry to hear that you have been sick and that things have been hectic. Are you feeling any better now?

I am so excited for all the good things that are coming! How exciting that you might potentially be driving soon too! It sounds like you are really looking out for your sisters and that's so wonderful to hear 

I suck at any instrument, but I thought ukulele is something pretty much anyone can learn. So I can play a few songs, but I don't know how to chuck. Have you got any advise for me on how or where I can learn this? :) What's your favourite music genre? I've done singing lessons for close to 15 years and it's amazing how many new things I can still learn. Do you play in a band or anything? :)

Oh wow, it sounds like this teacher got something to think about, which is great to hear. If she's been teaching for 50 years, she might just be fed up and not pay as much attention to individuals as she would have liked to. It might also be her way of apologising by giving you some extra attention and actually getting to know you. Regardless it's good that she's turned that frown upside down and is going through such efforts to help you improve your writing. Sounds like something really good came out of this really stressful time! Maybe you made her regain her passion for teaching :)

[TinyDinos]

4 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

No worries at all dear. Sorry to hear that you have been sick and that things have been hectic. Are you feeling any better now?

I am so excited for all the good things that are coming! How exciting that you might potentially be driving soon too! It sounds like you are really looking out for your sisters and that's so wonderful to hear 

I suck at any instrument, but I thought ukulele is something pretty much anyone can learn. So I can play a few songs, but I don't know how to chuck. Have you got any advise for me on how or where I can learn this? :) What's your favourite music genre? I've done singing lessons for close to 15 years and it's amazing how many new things I can still learn. Do you play in a band or anything? :)

Oh wow, it sounds like this teacher got something to think about, which is great to hear. If she's been teaching for 50 years, she might just be fed up and not pay as much attention to individuals as she would have liked to. It might also be her way of apologising by giving you some extra attention and actually getting to know you. Regardless it's good that she's turned that frown upside down and is going through such efforts to help you improve your writing. Sounds like something really good came out of this really stressful time! Maybe you made her regain her passion for teaching :)

I’m okay, my stepdad thinks it’s just allergies, but it’s a stubborn cough. That means I’ve also been a bit achey and having a bit of trouble breathing lately but I think that’s just because I’m still regaining my normal lung capacity after having COVID, so the cough just triggered that I think. I’m okay overall though :)

I think any instrument can be learned with enough time, practice, and most importantly passion. Ukulele is a great starter instrument for sure! Chucking is one of those funky things that is hard to teach. That’s the cool thing about ukulele, there isn’t really a wrong way to play it! What I like to do is to mute the strings on the neck, and use my palm to hit the strings while strumming. One of my friends likes to smack her hand onto the front of the strings kind of like a clap on the face of her uke, those are the two most popular ways I’ve seen. I’d recommend whatever feels most comfortable to you, because again, there is t really a wrong way to do it! It just takes practice for sure :)

legit! I’m glad she’s being nicer to me now haha, but I just wonder why someone would be so upset over something like what state I’m from

[TinyDinos]

WARNING: TMI, CENSORED CURSING, MEDICAL STUFF, SHORT TALK ABOUT PERIODS. IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFY, DON’T READ.

 

Spoiler

As if it weren’t enough to hate myself atm, I wake up looking like there was a crime scene in my f***ing bed. And on top of that it’s making me break out and the cramps are horrible. Fml. The worst part is there’s something wrong with me (of course there is) and we think I’ve got PCOS which makes it last longer and heavier and over all more painful, and I’m at high risk for anemia. (Neither of these are confirmed because I need the lab tests and whatever but I hate doing work because of the needle and I’m avoiding reminding my mom, hoping she forgot.) Basically, I’m suffering. What’s new, 

 

[TinyDinos]

Oh I’m getting my nose pierced on Nov. 20th as an early bday gift (my bday is in dec.) and I’m kinda excited. I’ve been wanting it for 4 years and now I’ll finally have it.

[Duckie]

44 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

WARNING: TMI, CENSORED CURSING, MEDICAL STUFF, SHORT TALK ABOUT PERIODS. IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFY, DON’T READ.

  Reveal hidden contents

As if it weren’t enough to hate myself atm, I wake up looking like there was a crime scene in my f***ing bed. And on top of that it’s making me break out and the cramps are horrible. Fml. The worst part is there’s something wrong with me (of course there is) and we think I’ve got PCOS which makes it last longer and heavier and over all more painful, and I’m at high risk for anemia. (Neither of these are confirmed because I need the lab tests and whatever but I hate doing work because of the needle and I’m avoiding reminding my mom, hoping she forgot.) Basically, I’m suffering. What’s new, 

Hi TinyDinos,

That sounds really hard for you to deal with every month. I think it is definitely worth checking if you have PCOS, because they might be able to prescribe you something to make you feel more stable in your condition. I have friends with PCOS and some are for example prescribed with birth control pills just to stabilize their periods for example. But regardless of what is causing it, it might be worth checking up so that you won't have to struggle more than needs be. I always tell nurses and hospital staff that I'm afraid of needles and they are usually really gentle with me because of this (no one of them has ever mentioned the irony of me having a tattoo and saying I don't like needles). How would you feel about doing this?

43 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

Oh I’m getting my nose pierced on Nov. 20th as an early bday gift (my bday is in dec.) and I’m kinda excited. I’ve been wanting it for 4 years and now I’ll finally have it.

Oh wow, that's really exciting! What kind of piercing are you going for and what design? Are you thinking a stud or like a ring? Septum or nostril? 

[TinyDinos]

2 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi TinyDinos,

That sounds really hard for you to deal with every month. I think it is definitely worth checking if you have PCOS, because they might be able to prescribe you something to make you feel more stable in your condition. I have friends with PCOS and some are for example prescribed with birth control pills just to stabilize their periods for example. But regardless of what is causing it, it might be worth checking up so that you won't have to struggle more than needs be. I always tell nurses and hospital staff that I'm afraid of needles and they are usually really gentle with me because of this (no one of them has ever mentioned the irony of me having a tattoo and saying I don't like needles). How would you feel about doing this?

Oh wow, that's really exciting! What kind of piercing are you going for and what design? Are you thinking a stud or like a ring? Septum or nostril? 

Yeah I’ve heard. Even being gentle I’m terrified. I’m low-key worried about the nose ring bc of that lol. I have a bunch of ear piercings but they just used the piercing gun rather than the regular needle and it was quick so I didn’t think much about it and it didn’t bother too much. My mom says the nose one is different so we’ll wait and see. I think my excitement trumps my fear though haha. This isn’t like going to the dentist or physician lol, I get a nose ring out of it. I kinda want a tattoo but I think I’d be too scared lol. My mom said I’d probably pass out lol. Who knows?

im really hyped about it! I’ve been waiting to make sure I really really wanted it (I’m cautious about making pretty permanent changes to my body esp piercings) and I’m so excited. I’m probably getting a stud to start on my nostril. I might switch it out for a ring after it heals and see if I like it but I haven’t decided yet :) I also might get a septum one in the future but I’m not sure yet. My sister really wants a septum piercing but I’m not sure if she should get one yet lol. 

[Duckie]

11 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah I’ve heard. Even being gentle I’m terrified. I’m low-key worried about the nose ring bc of that lol. I have a bunch of ear piercings but they just used the piercing gun rather than the regular needle and it was quick so I didn’t think much about it and it didn’t bother too much. My mom says the nose one is different so we’ll wait and see. I think my excitement trumps my fear though haha. This isn’t like going to the dentist or physician lol, I get a nose ring out of it. I kinda want a tattoo but I think I’d be too scared lol. My mom said I’d probably pass out lol. Who knows?

im really hyped about it! I’ve been waiting to make sure I really really wanted it (I’m cautious about making pretty permanent changes to my body esp piercings) and I’m so excited. I’m probably getting a stud to start on my nostril. I might switch it out for a ring after it heals and see if I like it but I haven’t decided yet :) I also might get a septum one in the future but I’m not sure yet. My sister really wants a septum piercing but I’m not sure if she should get one yet lol. 

I know what you mean. I always look away and think about something else. I think the nurses prefer when you tell them to be fair, because it means they are better prepared, and usually gentler with you. I had a blood test the other week and I just look away and the nurse asked me questions about other things, which really helped, so it was OK in the end. Maybe you could do your nose piercing with your eyes closed, or ask not to have a mirror facing you? When I had my first and only tattoo I didn't really think of it as a needle to be honest. It was more of a burning sensation, but not anywhere near as painful as I had anticipated (I guess it also depends on the size of the tattoo and the placement).

I'm really excited for you too! Have you got an appointment pencilled in? :)

[TinyDinos]

7 hours ago, Duckie said:

I know what you mean. I always look away and think about something else. I think the nurses prefer when you tell them to be fair, because it means they are better prepared, and usually gentler with you. I had a blood test the other week and I just look away and the nurse asked me questions about other things, which really helped, so it was OK in the end. Maybe you could do your nose piercing with your eyes closed, or ask not to have a mirror facing you? When I had my first and only tattoo I didn't really think of it as a needle to be honest. It was more of a burning sensation, but not anywhere near as painful as I had anticipated (I guess it also depends on the size of the tattoo and the placement).

I'm really excited for you too! Have you got an appointment pencilled in? :)

That’s cool. Thanks for the advice, I’ll def use that. Last time I got my blood drawn the nurse literally had to tell me to breathe because I was about to pass out from sheer panic :l

i do! Nov. 20th.

my mom also just told me that she signed me up an art student for the same rate I teach for, and that a church that we help out with sometimes booked me to play bass for $100 so I’m making some extra moneyyyy

As you can tell I’m excited, and in a pretty good mood, I think because it’s raining over here and I love it

[Duckie]

19 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

That’s cool. Thanks for the advice, I’ll def use that. Last time I got my blood drawn the nurse literally had to tell me to breathe because I was about to pass out from sheer panic :l

i do! Nov. 20th.

my mom also just told me that she signed me up an art student for the same rate I teach for, and that a church that we help out with sometimes booked me to play bass for $100 so I’m making some extra moneyyyy

As you can tell I’m excited, and in a pretty good mood, I think because it’s raining over here and I love it

Hi @TinyDinos,

I'm happy you found my advice helpful. Defo worth checking up PCOS to avoid too much struggle in the future. How would you feel about making an appointment now?

Yay! That's not too long away! 

Oh wow, that's fantastic news that you can make some extra money on the side!

So good to hear you excited! A lot of good and exciting things are coming your way by the sounds of it! I'm excited for you 

[TinyDinos]

On 10/26/2023 at 4:37 AM, Duckie said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

I'm happy you found my advice helpful. Defo worth checking up PCOS to avoid too much struggle in the future. How would you feel about making an appointment now?

Yay! That's not too long away! 

Oh wow, that's fantastic news that you can make some extra money on the side!

So good to hear you excited! A lot of good and exciting things are coming your way by the sounds of it! I'm excited for you 

Sorry for being gone. 

I do wanna follow up despite hating the needle part, but my mom assured me she hasn’t forgotten there just hasn’t been a chance in the schedule to take me and that she’s working on it.

I am very excited.I also have my driving test next Tuesday. And I officially have the art student, we just need to solidify scheduling but they’re gonna learn from me fs.

a lot of good things.

[Luie]

18 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Sorry for being gone. 

I do wanna follow up despite hating the needle part, but my mom assured me she hasn’t forgotten there just hasn’t been a chance in the schedule to take me and that she’s working on it.

I am very excited.I also have my driving test next Tuesday. And I officially have the art student, we just need to solidify scheduling but they’re gonna learn from me fs.

a lot of good things.

Heyy @TinyDinos, that all does sound like good things. Just checking in, how are you doing? How's the weekend been for you? 

[Duckie]

On 11/4/2023 at 3:51 PM, TinyDinos said:

Sorry for being gone. 

I do wanna follow up despite hating the needle part, but my mom assured me she hasn’t forgotten there just hasn’t been a chance in the schedule to take me and that she’s working on it.

I am very excited.I also have my driving test next Tuesday. And I officially have the art student, we just need to solidify scheduling but they’re gonna learn from me fs.

a lot of good things.

Omg best of luck for your driving test! I am really excited for you 

How are you?