Dino’s Blog 2

[Megs-]

Just to say dino, I understand you’re going through a lot right now with your sister etc, but I honestly admire how strong you are. And, the fact that you’re not letting this ruin your mood. I understand that her doing this is a big impact on you but, you’re so strong! I believe in you

[Megs-]

Hey dino, not sure what time it is for you right now but, I wanted to check in and ask how you are? I know things were very rough for you recently and I want to admire your attitude towards your sister and the way you handled the situation. You were incredibly strong and very with it when you knew what she wanted to do and with getting a reaction from you. How are things today, with regards to your mental wellbeing and your situation with your sister? I really hope you’re okay as can be as you deserve to feel safe & cared about. You have 1-2-1 support too which @Digital Mentor will support you. I’m always here if you need anything, I love you very much and so glad you’re back on the forum. Hugs hugs  

[TinyDinos]

My mental health is slipping :(

it makes me sad because I really did think I was getting better but I feel like I've lost all of my progress. My room is a mess, my body is exhausted, my relationships are strained and my grades are garbage. Graduation is in 2 days and I'm scared. If I don't pass one of these classes, I won't graduate. If I don't get it together I'm gonna lose my job. If I don't hurry up and get my life together I'm gonna keep being a failure. I've already been told that all I'm producing in my life is failure just last week. Why can't I do anything?

I feel lethargic. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't have hobbies really. I just wanna sleep. Never have to move from my bed. I know that when i feel like this, thats when things are getting bad again. When I start to not care as much. When I feel myself fading into the background. When my eyelids are still heavy despite my longer than usual sleep. When I don't want to see anyone or anything. Just to be tucked away in my messy room with my dog maybe. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I just know I need to get over it before life leaves without me and I let everyone down.

[Lennie]

14 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

My mental health is slipping :(

it makes me sad because I really did think I was getting better but I feel like I've lost all of my progress. My room is a mess, my body is exhausted, my relationships are strained and my grades are garbage. Graduation is in 2 days and I'm scared. If I don't pass one of these classes, I won't graduate. If I don't get it together I'm gonna lose my job. If I don't hurry up and get my life together I'm gonna keep being a failure. I've already been told that all I'm producing in my life is failure just last week. Why can't I do anything?

I feel lethargic. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't have hobbies really. I just wanna sleep. Never have to move from my bed. I know that when i feel like this, thats when things are getting bad again. When I start to not care as much. When I feel myself fading into the background. When my eyelids are still heavy despite my longer than usual sleep. When I don't want to see anyone or anything. Just to be tucked away in my messy room with my dog maybe. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I just know I need to get over it before life leaves without me and I let everyone down.

Hi @TinyDinos, I'm Lennie, one of the Support Mentors. Nice to hear from you again, although I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It's especially difficult when multiple parts of our lives aren't going the way we want them to. It can feel like they are accumulating and nothing is going right, which is an overwhelming feeling. So it's totally understandable that you feel as though you just want to hide away from the world for a while.

When things get like this, it can be helpful to focus on one thing at a time to help combat that feeling of being swamped. Prioritising and focusing on the most important thing that you can act upon can be a really good starting point. In this case, would it be passing this class so that you can graduate? If there is any work outstanding, then this might be a good place to begin. Perhaps the work is all done though and you are just waiting to hear back.

Either way, whatever you start with, it can help to try to focus on this one task and do your best to put everything else into the background. Easier said than done, I know. But if you manage to complete one task - even if it's a small one - it's often surprising how much of a relief this can feel. Suddenly that wall of issues you were facing can seem more manageable. 

Of course, when you're feeling emotionally drained, tackling these big issues in your life as a to-do list can feel like just another chore. But chipping away at these things one by one really can help to give you back a sense of control and positive momentum. 

Also, from reading your post, it sounds like you are being very hard on yourself. I noticed that in your previous posts, even when you were annoyed with your sister, you still acknowledged the things that were positive about her, which was kind and insightful of you. Yet I don't see that kindness here when you are calling yourself a "failure". Try to remember that you are you dealing with a lot and you've actually been doing well. You're juggling a job, school, and all the other stuff daily life throws at us. That in itself is something to be applauded. Can I ask, is there anything specifically you can pick out that you have done well or that you are proud of recently?

You also say you have no hobbies, but I think that I read you play bass. If so, is that something that maybe you can get back to? You're right, hobbies are important and can really help us through tough times, so do try to make time for them, whether that's playing bass or something else you enjoy.

How does that sound? Do you think tackling things one at a time might be a useful strategy?

We are here for you and will have our fingers crossed for you that graduation works out well. In the meantime, please let us know how you are, whenever you feel like posting. And if you ever want to chat with a mentor 1-2-1, in private, you can get in touch via Confidential Support (https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support).

 

 

 

 

[TinyDinos]

Graduation is tomorrow. I feel sick.

[TinyDinos]

9 hours ago, Lennie said:

Hi @TinyDinos, I'm Lennie, one of the Support Mentors. Nice to hear from you again, although I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It's especially difficult when multiple parts of our lives aren't going the way we want them to. It can feel like they are accumulating and nothing is going right, which is an overwhelming feeling. So it's totally understandable that you feel as though you just want to hide away from the world for a while.

When things get like this, it can be helpful to focus on one thing at a time to help combat that feeling of being swamped. Prioritising and focusing on the most important thing that you can act upon can be a really good starting point. In this case, would it be passing this class so that you can graduate? If there is any work outstanding, then this might be a good place to begin. Perhaps the work is all done though and you are just waiting to hear back.

Either way, whatever you start with, it can help to try to focus on this one task and do your best to put everything else into the background. Easier said than done, I know. But if you manage to complete one task - even if it's a small one - it's often surprising how much of a relief this can feel. Suddenly that wall of issues you were facing can seem more manageable. 

Of course, when you're feeling emotionally drained, tackling these big issues in your life as a to-do list can feel like just another chore. But chipping away at these things one by one really can help to give you back a sense of control and positive momentum. 

Also, from reading your post, it sounds like you are being very hard on yourself. I noticed that in your previous posts, even when you were annoyed with your sister, you still acknowledged the things that were positive about her, which was kind and insightful of you. Yet I don't see that kindness here when you are calling yourself a "failure". Try to remember that you are you dealing with a lot and you've actually been doing well. You're juggling a job, school, and all the other stuff daily life throws at us. That in itself is something to be applauded. Can I ask, is there anything specifically you can pick out that you have done well or that you are proud of recently?

You also say you have no hobbies, but I think that I read you play bass. If so, is that something that maybe you can get back to? You're right, hobbies are important and can really help us through tough times, so do try to make time for them, whether that's playing bass or something else you enjoy.

How does that sound? Do you think tackling things one at a time might be a useful strategy?

We are here for you and will have our fingers crossed for you that graduation works out well. In the meantime, please let us know how you are, whenever you feel like posting. And if you ever want to chat with a mentor 1-2-1, in private, you can get in touch via Confidential Support (https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support).

Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before! I’m sorry for the less than pealing first impression, I’m usually better with people It’s nice to meet you! I’m Dino :)

Yeah I wound up just grinding what I could do for this class. The one that I need to graduate doesn’t accept late work. However I got full marks on both Extra Credit assignments, and I’m taking the final today. My grade is hinged on this final. I need at least a 70 I think or something like that, obviously I’m aiming to ace it because I really need the points. My other class won’t even let me access the work until tomorrow, and I graduate tomorrow so I’m not taking it obviously. I’ll probably take it on Saturday so I can study on Friday. Everything is due Saturday. These deadlines are suffocating me I’m running out of time because I was stupid in the first place. Ugh. 

I find it hard to compliment myself.. every time I do it comes off as cocky or arrogant and I don’t want to be either of those things y’know? Plus most of the time it feels like I’m lying to myself and everyone around me when I gas myself up. It feels like false advertising. It’s easy to talk about how great my sister is, everyone knows how great she is. But my best qualities t9 everyone else is how obedient I am, and how low matinence I am. And most importantly how smart I am. But I can’t even pass one f***ing class. So my self image is less than stellar right now. at the very least I’m proud of myself for sleeping more. That’s about it. 

I do like playing bass, I play a lot of instruments but bass is my favorite. I play at least every Sunday and most Mondays but it feels more for work than fun. I usually like art too but I’m just not feeling it lately, I have no motivations. And the way life is set up from here on out in the “real world” I can’t have hobbies. I have to choose between work and what makes me happy, I hate it. I don’t want to have to sacrifice my happiness for another dollar in my pocket but that’s the way the world works. If I want the chance to maybe have fun 60 years from now, I better work hard, and be polite, and suck up so I can keep my job but also be bold and stand my ground when something bothers me, but don’t talk back because my attitude is gonna get me fired. Don’t think you’re better than everyone else because you’re replaceable in a heartbeat, but own your space and be confident in your abilities because nobody can do it like you. This contradictory poison makes my head spin so fast I just can’t do anything but go through the motions every day. I hate that too. The numbness is awful.

i just really hope I won’t be this way forever but it sure feels like it. High school is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. And I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I really don’t. It just feels like all of the worst things in my life started when that transition was made. My freshman year was when COVID hit. I was stuck in that house with my two little sister while my parents screamed upstairs about every little thing. My dad scared us so badly. My parents got divorced. We’re safe but the fear will never go away fully I think. Now I have to grow up. I hate it

[TinyDinos]

@Lennie I replied, it just has to be modded

[TinyDinos]

I passed my final. I am allowed to graduate!/

[Aurora]

12 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

I passed my final. I am allowed to graduate!/

Hi @TinyDinos it really lovely to hear from you!! 

I can see that you are already talking to @Lennie about the other things going on in your life but I just wanted to say:

HUGE BIG CONGRATULATIONS ON PASSING YOUR FINAL!! That is truly wonderful news and I am so, so happy for you

[Lennie]

15 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before! I’m sorry for the less than pealing first impression, I’m usually better with people It’s nice to meet you! I’m Dino :)

Yeah I wound up just grinding what I could do for this class. The one that I need to graduate doesn’t accept late work. However I got full marks on both Extra Credit assignments, and I’m taking the final today. My grade is hinged on this final. I need at least a 70 I think or something like that, obviously I’m aiming to ace it because I really need the points. My other class won’t even let me access the work until tomorrow, and I graduate tomorrow so I’m not taking it obviously. I’ll probably take it on Saturday so I can study on Friday. Everything is due Saturday. These deadlines are suffocating me I’m running out of time because I was stupid in the first place. Ugh. 

I find it hard to compliment myself.. every time I do it comes off as cocky or arrogant and I don’t want to be either of those things y’know? Plus most of the time it feels like I’m lying to myself and everyone around me when I gas myself up. It feels like false advertising. It’s easy to talk about how great my sister is, everyone knows how great she is. But my best qualities t9 everyone else is how obedient I am, and how low matinence I am. And most importantly how smart I am. But I can’t even pass one f***ing class. So my self image is less than stellar right now. at the very least I’m proud of myself for sleeping more. That’s about it. 

I do like playing bass, I play a lot of instruments but bass is my favorite. I play at least every Sunday and most Mondays but it feels more for work than fun. I usually like art too but I’m just not feeling it lately, I have no motivations. And the way life is set up from here on out in the “real world” I can’t have hobbies. I have to choose between work and what makes me happy, I hate it. I don’t want to have to sacrifice my happiness for another dollar in my pocket but that’s the way the world works. If I want the chance to maybe have fun 60 years from now, I better work hard, and be polite, and suck up so I can keep my job but also be bold and stand my ground when something bothers me, but don’t talk back because my attitude is gonna get me fired. Don’t think you’re better than everyone else because you’re replaceable in a heartbeat, but own your space and be confident in your abilities because nobody can do it like you. This contradictory poison makes my head spin so fast I just can’t do anything but go through the motions every day. I hate that too. The numbness is awful.

i just really hope I won’t be this way forever but it sure feels like it. High school is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. And I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I really don’t. It just feels like all of the worst things in my life started when that transition was made. My freshman year was when COVID hit. I was stuck in that house with my two little sister while my parents screamed upstairs about every little thing. My dad scared us so badly. My parents got divorced. We’re safe but the fear will never go away fully I think. Now I have to grow up. I hate it

Hi @TinyDinos - let me start by saying a huge CONGRATULATIONS for passing your finals and being able to graduate now! That's huge, so WELL DONE!! .

That's certainly a big one to tick off that imaginary list I spoke about. How are you feeling? I hope you allow yourself a few moments to reflect and feel proud of what you have done. Especially when you factor in all the other challenges and setbacks you've been dealing with along the way. Please do take a moment for that, because it's so easy to just think 'phew' and then just onto the next thing. It's really worth trying to reflect and punctuate life by taking moments to reflect, feel proud, feel grateful, or just recognise whatever feeling comes to you in that moment.

On a related note, this achievement is definitely something to factor into your self-image: feel proud. There's nothing arrogant or cocky about that. Again, sometimes it helps to shift the perspective as though you were talking with a friend. I'm sure you wouldn't say or think a friend was arrogant or cocky for being happy they had managed to graduate. Similarly try not to undermine your achievements by thinking 'well other students performed better than me so it's not that great'. You can't compare yourself to them because they haven't gone through the same experiences as you. I know you didn't say this part but this kind of negative social comparison is common and I just thought it was worth mentioning.

I also wanted to acknowledge your point about the contradictions and many negative aspects of working life you brought up. I think you are remarkably insightful here and seemed to have recognised many issues in a way that took me a lot longer to figure out. You're right, there are lots of exploitative and unequal parts of the system of working life, I certainly won't deny that. But let me give you my best (but genuine) positive spin on this pessimistic perspective.

Firstly, there is a renewed momentum gathering steam in the US for unions that advocate for workers' rights. And this momentum looks like it is continuing to grow, which may well translate to better working conditions for many ordinary US citizens. Also, there are lots of exciting proposals for new schemes to upend the way we work: a 4-day work week, universal basic income, remote/hybrid work... Now, are these perfect solutions to the issues you mention? No. But they do indicate that things could change for the better. Also, on a more anecdotal level, as someone that has many years of work experience across many sectors, I can say that there are good jobs out there. I've had plenty of bad ones, sure. But unlike school, when you go to work, you will have some say in where you work and in what type of job you do. And with a little luck, you may wind up finding a job that you value and have colleagues that you like. I hope this convinces you a little that things aren't necessarily all bad, and gives you hope that you may actually like your future job, and that it might afford you holidays and enough spare time to pursue your other interests, too.

I'll end on that positive note and just add that many people who didn't like high school really relish and enjoy their late teens and 20s, because they get to flourish because of the opportunities and freedoms that come with becoming a young adult (for want of a better term). Does this make sense?

In the meantime, are you planning to do anything nice to celebrate graduating?

[TinyDinos]

Hiya, I'm back I suppose. I haven't been online in a long time. Some life updates, I'm in college and doing pretty well, as well as working a lot. Both are good things, I'm just exhausted and don't really feel happy I think. Just doing what I have to for now. My stepdad is still in the army, so I have to move away in July and I'm sad about it, but I'm trying to make the best out of it because I don't have a choice about it. Best to worry about the things I can control yk? I have a long distance girlfriend, and she's really sweet and funny, and I like her a lot. I don't know if we're gonna last though. Good things are happening to me, but I'm not really doing good I think. I'm glad to check in though in any case

[Luie]

15 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Hiya, I'm back I suppose. I haven't been online in a long time. Some life updates, I'm in college and doing pretty well, as well as working a lot. Both are good things, I'm just exhausted and don't really feel happy I think. Just doing what I have to for now. My stepdad is still in the army, so I have to move away in July and I'm sad about it, but I'm trying to make the best out of it because I don't have a choice about it. Best to worry about the things I can control yk? I have a long distance girlfriend, and she's really sweet and funny, and I like her a lot. I don't know if we're gonna last though. Good things are happening to me, but I'm not really doing good I think. I'm glad to check in though in any case

 

Heyy @TinyDinos Welcome back! It’s really good to hear from you again, and thank you for sharing everything that’s been going on. It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate between college and work – I can understand why you’re feeling exhausted. Even when things are going well on the outside, it’s totally valid to not feel happy or fully “good” on the inside. Sometimes just getting through day-to-day life can be really draining, even when you're doing all the right things. Have you had any moments where you could take a break for yourself? It sounds to me like you deserve one.

I can imagine how tough it must be knowing you’ll have to move again in July. It’s such a big adjustment, especially with your stepdad being in the army. You’re right, focusing on what you can control is a good way to look at it, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you can’t feel sad about it. How do you feel about the idea of moving? Are there any things that are helping you cope with that?

Also, your girlfriend sounds like someone really special, and I can see that connection means a lot to you. I know long-distance relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re also managing so much else in life. How have you been navigating the distance with her so far?

Even though it sounds like there are a lot of positives in your life, it’s okay to feel like you’re not doing great internally. Sometimes it takes a little time for our hearts and minds to catch up with what’s happening around us. Please know that we’re always here to listen and support you at DTL. 

 

[TinyDinos]

On 9/22/2024 at 12:47 AM, Luie said:

Heyy @TinyDinos Welcome back! It’s really good to hear from you again, and thank you for sharing everything that’s been going on. It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate between college and work – I can understand why you’re feeling exhausted. Even when things are going well on the outside, it’s totally valid to not feel happy or fully “good” on the inside. Sometimes just getting through day-to-day life can be really draining, even when you're doing all the right things. Have you had any moments where you could take a break for yourself? It sounds to me like you deserve one.

I can imagine how tough it must be knowing you’ll have to move again in July. It’s such a big adjustment, especially with your stepdad being in the army. You’re right, focusing on what you can control is a good way to look at it, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you can’t feel sad about it. How do you feel about the idea of moving? Are there any things that are helping you cope with that?

Also, your girlfriend sounds like someone really special, and I can see that connection means a lot to you. I know long-distance relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re also managing so much else in life. How have you been navigating the distance with her so far?

Even though it sounds like there are a lot of positives in your life, it’s okay to feel like you’re not doing great internally. Sometimes it takes a little time for our hearts and minds to catch up with what’s happening around us. Please know that we’re always here to listen and support you at DTL. 

It's just so weird to me. I don't understand why I can't just be happy yk? I'm doing everything everybody is telling me to and I still just feel bad. Not like guilty, or upset, or even sad. Just bad. It's not a good feeling and I just can't figure out why. I haven't had time for myself hardly at all. I'm so busy I barely have time to breathe and I hate it. Nothing about my day to day life is making me happy I'm just busy all of the time. I have no idea how I'm supposed to go to school and work, maintain social relationships, take care of housework and on top of that still find time to eat and drink and maintain personal hygiene and clean my room, as well as find time for a hobby. Its just impossible. I don't want to be an adult (but everyone I know is saying that it's too late that I already am even though I'm not even 18) because everyone just keeps telling me it gets worse, and lo and behold, it does. Every single time. At this point I'm just an expense. I don't want to do any of it anymore. 

I don't want to move but I don't have a choice. I have a total of four friends and half of them moved for college, the other half I have to leave. Realistically, I don't talk to really any of them. Not enough for it to matter anyways. I see then because it's weird if I don't have friends. If I didn't have people questioning me I probably wouldn't reach out to them. After I move I probably won't hear from them. We need more money to pay for the storefront for our music school so we have a stable source of income while we move, and my mom said that in order to do that we are going to rent out my bedroom. I'm losing my room and have to move in with one of my siblings. She got mad at me for being upset about it. She said she was mad that I wasn't being supportive and that she is doing what's best for everybody in our family that she's disappointed that I'm not trying to sacrifice to help everybody. I hate that she doesn't care about how I feel at all. She's really good at making me feel like I'm the worst person under our roof. I already have sacrificed my space the most. When we first moved her friend and her brother, husband, son, and four cars needed somewhere to stay for almost a year. They stayed in my room. Any time her friends come over to visit from out of town, they stay in my room. I'm always the one misplaced. I'm always in the way. I hate how they just move me around because I "won't mind" and if I say something about it they don't care. I keep just saying yes. My stupid room and in work. She's my boss. She gets mad at me for not wanting more students and more work. Now any time she asks if I want to take on a new student I have to say yes. Any time she wants me to do something for her I have to say yes. Every time she wants me to give her something I have to say yes. I'm so sick of saying yes but I can't say anything else. I hate it. 

I don't think im going to stay with my girlfriend. She's younger than me and I don't like that. I also can't date girls. My parents are really homophobic. If they ever find out I'm going to be in trouble. As for as my girlfriend herself goes, I'm hoping she will break up with me because I don't know how to break up and not hurt her feelings. She said she broke up with an ex because they were long distance and she needed physical contact because touch is her love language and they weren't moving to where she lives or vice versa. We're not moving to where she lives. Technically we don't really know yet, but it's really highly unlikely. I'm hoping she will break up with me because of that. I do like her, and she's a nice person, I just don't think I can date her. She drinks underage and her dad knows and doesn't try to stop her and I don't like it. She vapes and tried to hide it from me. I don't like that and she knows and said she's just experimenting and stuff like that. I hate all of it. She cusses a lot, and talks a bunch. She really likes me and talks about marrying me and how having kids is important to her and I don't want any kids. Her dad hates me and talks about me behind my back and she always tell me about it. She told her dad about us without asking if I was comfortable with that. Her dad makes uncomfortable comments about me when talking to her. She has very strong political opinions and I hate politics and she still wants to talk about it and tries to push her side on me. She isn't religious like me and that's something I value in my relationships. She said she'd try for me but I don't want her to fake it on ym behalf. I just don't think we belong together. She's my first ever girlfriend though. I don't know how to tell her. She was talking about wanting to marry me since early on and I couldn't say no. More stupid yeses that I've said even though I didn't want to. I don't want to date her. But I do care about her. She's the only person who listens to me and takes me seriously. But she also doesn't try to help when I'm anxious or ask for advice. She says that she hates my mom. She talks about all kinds of drama at school and I hate conflict. I wish she would just break up with me.

I feel like everything is just going wrong. All of the time. I'm technically great though. High paying job, graduated early, lives with her parents, everything. But I'm drowning and hate every aspect of my life more and more every day. It's just not worth it. I hate it. And then on top of it all everyone makes me feel bad or stupid or guilty for feeling anything. My sister invalidates me, my mother shuts me down, my bio dad isn't present and my stepdad thinks I'm pathetic, my bio dad's girlfriend isn't trustworthy. I have no friends to talk to and no avaliable partner. I'm so isolated and emotionally unsupported that I have to shove everything down and it always just makes things worse. I'm so hurt that nobody cares enough to take me seriously. I hate having to show up for everyone else only to be left stranded and alone when I need the same. Nothing is worth it anymore. 

[Luie]

18 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

It's just so weird to me. I don't understand why I can't just be happy yk? I'm doing everything everybody is telling me to and I still just feel bad. Not like guilty, or upset, or even sad. Just bad. It's not a good feeling and I just can't figure out why. I haven't had time for myself hardly at all. I'm so busy I barely have time to breathe and I hate it. Nothing about my day to day life is making me happy I'm just busy all of the time. I have no idea how I'm supposed to go to school and work, maintain social relationships, take care of housework and on top of that still find time to eat and drink and maintain personal hygiene and clean my room, as well as find time for a hobby. Its just impossible. I don't want to be an adult (but everyone I know is saying that it's too late that I already am even though I'm not even 18) because everyone just keeps telling me it gets worse, and lo and behold, it does. Every single time. At this point I'm just an expense. I don't want to do any of it anymore. 

I don't want to move but I don't have a choice. I have a total of four friends and half of them moved for college, the other half I have to leave. Realistically, I don't talk to really any of them. Not enough for it to matter anyways. I see then because it's weird if I don't have friends. If I didn't have people questioning me I probably wouldn't reach out to them. After I move I probably won't hear from them. We need more money to pay for the storefront for our music school so we have a stable source of income while we move, and my mom said that in order to do that we are going to rent out my bedroom. I'm losing my room and have to move in with one of my siblings. She got mad at me for being upset about it. She said she was mad that I wasn't being supportive and that she is doing what's best for everybody in our family that she's disappointed that I'm not trying to sacrifice to help everybody. I hate that she doesn't care about how I feel at all. She's really good at making me feel like I'm the worst person under our roof. I already have sacrificed my space the most. When we first moved her friend and her brother, husband, son, and four cars needed somewhere to stay for almost a year. They stayed in my room. Any time her friends come over to visit from out of town, they stay in my room. I'm always the one misplaced. I'm always in the way. I hate how they just move me around because I "won't mind" and if I say something about it they don't care. I keep just saying yes. My stupid room and in work. She's my boss. She gets mad at me for not wanting more students and more work. Now any time she asks if I want to take on a new student I have to say yes. Any time she wants me to do something for her I have to say yes. Every time she wants me to give her something I have to say yes. I'm so sick of saying yes but I can't say anything else. I hate it. 

I don't think im going to stay with my girlfriend. She's younger than me and I don't like that. I also can't date girls. My parents are really homophobic. If they ever find out I'm going to be in trouble. As for as my girlfriend herself goes, I'm hoping she will break up with me because I don't know how to break up and not hurt her feelings. She said she broke up with an ex because they were long distance and she needed physical contact because touch is her love language and they weren't moving to where she lives or vice versa. We're not moving to where she lives. Technically we don't really know yet, but it's really highly unlikely. I'm hoping she will break up with me because of that. I do like her, and she's a nice person, I just don't think I can date her. She drinks underage and her dad knows and doesn't try to stop her and I don't like it. She vapes and tried to hide it from me. I don't like that and she knows and said she's just experimenting and stuff like that. I hate all of it. She cusses a lot, and talks a bunch. She really likes me and talks about marrying me and how having kids is important to her and I don't want any kids. Her dad hates me and talks about me behind my back and she always tell me about it. She told her dad about us without asking if I was comfortable with that. Her dad makes uncomfortable comments about me when talking to her. She has very strong political opinions and I hate politics and she still wants to talk about it and tries to push her side on me. She isn't religious like me and that's something I value in my relationships. She said she'd try for me but I don't want her to fake it on ym behalf. I just don't think we belong together. She's my first ever girlfriend though. I don't know how to tell her. She was talking about wanting to marry me since early on and I couldn't say no. More stupid yeses that I've said even though I didn't want to. I don't want to date her. But I do care about her. She's the only person who listens to me and takes me seriously. But she also doesn't try to help when I'm anxious or ask for advice. She says that she hates my mom. She talks about all kinds of drama at school and I hate conflict. I wish she would just break up with me.

I feel like everything is just going wrong. All of the time. I'm technically great though. High paying job, graduated early, lives with her parents, everything. But I'm drowning and hate every aspect of my life more and more every day. It's just not worth it. I hate it. And then on top of it all everyone makes me feel bad or stupid or guilty for feeling anything. My sister invalidates me, my mother shuts me down, my bio dad isn't present and my stepdad thinks I'm pathetic, my bio dad's girlfriend isn't trustworthy. I have no friends to talk to and no avaliable partner. I'm so isolated and emotionally unsupported that I have to shove everything down and it always just makes things worse. I'm so hurt that nobody cares enough to take me seriously. I hate having to show up for everyone else only to be left stranded and alone when I need the same. Nothing is worth it anymore. 

 

Heyy @TinyDinos, I can feel just how overwhelming everything is for you right now, and I’m really glad you’ve opened up about it more with us here on DTL. It sounds like you’re carrying so much, and it’s not surprising that you're feeling stuck and drained. I’m hearing how hard you’ve been working, doing all the things people tell you to, and still, it’s not making you feel any better. It’s like you’re ticking off boxes, but none of it is giving you that sense of peace or fulfilment. I wonder if a part of that might be because you haven’t had the time or space to really figure out what you need and want right now. You’re doing so much for others, but what about yourself?

It sounds to me like you’ve been giving so much of your energy to everyone else whether it is school, work, your family, even your relationship, and it’s leaving you with nothing left for yourself. You mentioned feeling like you barely have time to breathe. That’s such a heavy place to be, especially when the things that are supposed to bring joy, like friendships or a relationship, just feel like more pressure. Have you had a chance to really pause and ask yourself what you would need to feel like you again? Even if it feels impossible, sometimes just asking the question is the first step.

I also really hear you about your mom and how she’s made you feel when it comes to the sacrifices you’ve had to make at home. It’s completely understandable that you’d feel upset about losing your space and constantly being the one who has to give up something. It sounds like you’ve been asked to compromise over and over again, and it’s no wonder you feel like you’re always the one who’s being moved around and overlooked. You deserve to have your feelings heard and respected, especially when it comes to your own room and space. It’s hard when the people closest to us don’t seem to understand the weight of what we’re going through. Have you thought about ways you could set some boundaries, even small ones, to protect your space, both physically and emotionally or if not feel free to think out loud here?

With your relationship, it sounds to me like you’re really clear on what you want and what doesn’t feel right for you, even if saying it out loud feels difficult. It’s okay to want different things than your girlfriend, and it’s important to listen to that feeling inside you, even if you care about her. It doesn’t make you a bad person to realize that the relationship might not be what’s best for you. You’ve mentioned how much you’ve said “yes” to things that didn’t feel right for you, and it sounds like this might be another one of those situations. What would it be like to express your truth here, even if it feels hard? Maybe you can start small, just by being honest about your feelings, rather than waiting for her to make the decision for you. In my experience it’s okay to let someone down if it means taking care of yourself in the long run. 

I know how isolating it must feel when you’re surrounded by people, yet feel like no one really listens to you or supports you in the way you need. It’s really hard to keep showing up for others when you feel like no one is showing up for you. I want to acknowledge that it’s completely valid to feel this way. You deserve support, validation, and space to be heard without feeling guilty for it. 

Lastly, I’m really sorry that things feel so heavy for you right now, but I’m here to remind you that your feelings matter, and they are real. It’s okay to want more from life than just getting by. You deserve to feel fulfilled and supported, not just for what you do for others but for who you are. What do you think might be one small step you could take to start reclaiming a bit of space for yourself, even in the middle of all this? It might not fix everything right away, but it could be a start.

 

[TinyDinos]

I'm not okay.

I am not okay. 

My sister just got kicked out. She's 14. She has to live with our shitty bio dad and I am soooo not okay. I have no tears left. I can't handle any more.

The past four fucking years have been a nightmare. I lost my dad and now I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog and my little sister. She was my first sister. My best friend and now she's gone. I can't lose any more. I can't handle any more hell. 

I wish I could just stop feeling for two fucking minutes. 

I hate everything I wish I were never fucking born. 

I cant handle any more. Please I wish I could just disappear and never come back.

I just want to disappear 

Nothing is worth it anymore

[TinyDinos]

Ugh I just feel so nauseous. My head and body hurt so bad right now. I'm gonna try to get some sleep 

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, TinyDinos said:

I'm not okay.

I am not okay. 

My sister just got kicked out. She's 14. She has to live with our shitty bio dad and I am soooo not okay. I have no tears left. I can't handle any more.

The past four fucking years have been a nightmare. I lost my dad and now I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog and my little sister. She was my first sister. My best friend and now she's gone. I can't lose any more. I can't handle any more hell. 

I wish I could just stop feeling for two fucking minutes. 

I hate everything I wish I were never fucking born. 

I cant handle any more. Please I wish I could just disappear and never come back.

I just want to disappear 

Nothing is worth it anymore

Hi @TinyDinos,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. Would you like to tell us a little more about what happened? Please don't feel you have to (we can also talk in confidential support if you would prefer). I am just trying to understand your situation a bit better. 

How is your sister feeling about it all? Is there anyone in your family who you can talk to about this? 

I noticed how you said that you just want to disappear and that nothing is worth it anymore. When something big like this happens, we can feel all kinds of emotions and I just wanted to check in with you and see if you are feeling safe right now? As you may know, your safety is the most important thing and we all care about you very much here at Ditch the Label.

 

Just in case you ever need it, here is some safety information. If you ever do feel like you are in crisis then please reach out to the following: 

UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)

USA - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988 (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text) https://988lifeline.org/

Crisis Services Canada (https://talksuicide.ca) - Call toll free for crisis support at 1.833.456.4566 for 24/7 support or text 45645 between 4p.m. - midnight ET

A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org - you can find the one for your country and call them if you are in crisis 

An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful

If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

Remember, you can always call the emergency services or go to your local emergency department at the hospital for support

Please know that you are not alone and we are here to support you through this 

 

 

[Aurora]

25 minutes ago, TinyDinos said:

Ugh I just feel so nauseous. My head and body hurt so bad right now. I'm gonna try to get some sleep 

I hope you manage to get some rest 

[TinyDinos]

12 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @TinyDinos,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. Would you like to tell us a little more about what happened? Please don't feel you have to (we can also talk in confidential support if you would prefer). I am just trying to understand your situation a bit better. 

How is your sister feeling about it all? Is there anyone in your family who you can talk to about this? 

I noticed how you said that you just want to disappear and that nothing is worth it anymore. When something big like this happens, we can feel all kinds of emotions and I just wanted to check in with you and see if you are feeling safe right now? As you may know, your safety is the most important thing and we all care about you very much here at Ditch the Label.

Just in case you ever need it, here is some safety information. If you ever do feel like you are in crisis then please reach out to the following: 

UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)

USA - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988 (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text) https://988lifeline.org/

Crisis Services Canada (https://talksuicide.ca) - Call toll free for crisis support at 1.833.456.4566 for 24/7 support or text 45645 between 4p.m. - midnight ET

A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org - you can find the one for your country and call them if you are in crisis 

An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful

If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

Remember, you can always call the emergency services or go to your local emergency department at the hospital for support

Please know that you are not alone and we are here to support you through this 

My sister is fine I’m just not. She’s okay and even happy. She wants to be with our dad. My mom kicked her out because they were fighting about my sister’s grades and how she lied about doing her work. Then my mom told her she was grounded for a week and she had to make up the work she missed. She told my sister to go get her tablet and cell phone because she’s grounded and my sister refused. My sister eventually gets to the point where she won’t leave the room, and my mom goes to physically move her out of the room, like guiding her by her shoulders and my sister kicked her and tried to hit her. Then my mom told her to pack a bag with stuff she needs, that she’s going to go live with her dad.

theres nobody I can talk to, I’m all alone. I feel so numb and sad, she’s my best friend, she’s just stupid. She’s only 14 she needs to learn. But it’s so bad. I wish she’d just make better decisions. I’m all by myself here because she’s dumb. I hate it.

im not gonna do anything dumb. I just really hate how bad everything is. I wish I were anywhere other than here. I can’t take any more loss. I keep rolling with the stupid punches and now I’m just.. here. Broken and battered and bruised and still expected to come back for more. I can’t handle any more.

[TinyDinos]

Hhhhhhhhuggggggghhhhhh my stomach hurts so bad

[Lennie]

2 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Hhhhhhhhuggggggghhhhhh my stomach hurts so bad

Hi @TinyDinos -- I will reply to your previous post in just a moment, but I wanted to check whether you are okay. Do you know what's causing your stomach to hurt? If you are in pain, could you make a doctor's appointment or go to the emergency room at the hospital if it's serious?

If you would prefer to talk privately, you can also respond on Confidential Support: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support 

[Lennie]

11 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

My sister is fine I’m just not. She’s okay and even happy. She wants to be with our dad. My mom kicked her out because they were fighting about my sister’s grades and how she lied about doing her work. Then my mom told her she was grounded for a week and she had to make up the work she missed. She told my sister to go get her tablet and cell phone because she’s grounded and my sister refused. My sister eventually gets to the point where she won’t leave the room, and my mom goes to physically move her out of the room, like guiding her by her shoulders and my sister kicked her and tried to hit her. Then my mom told her to pack a bag with stuff she needs, that she’s going to go live with her dad.

theres nobody I can talk to, I’m all alone. I feel so numb and sad, she’s my best friend, she’s just stupid. She’s only 14 she needs to learn. But it’s so bad. I wish she’d just make better decisions. I’m all by myself here because she’s dumb. I hate it.

im not gonna do anything dumb. I just really hate how bad everything is. I wish I were anywhere other than here. I can’t take any more loss. I keep rolling with the stupid punches and now I’m just.. here. Broken and battered and bruised and still expected to come back for more. I can’t handle any more.

Hi @TinyDinos -- I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. It must feel so difficult because this was all out of your control but it's impacting you a lot. Have you tried speaking with your sister or mum after this incident and explaining how you feel to them? Do you think either of them understand things from your perspective? 

 

[TinyDinos]

20 hours ago, Lennie said:

Hi @TinyDinos -- I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. It must feel so difficult because this was all out of your control but it's impacting you a lot. Have you tried speaking with your sister or mum after this incident and explaining how you feel to them? Do you think either of them understand things from your perspective? 

Yeah I talked to both of them. Both of them are insisting that I’m on the others’ side. Both of them hate me now. My life is a pile of shit.

Literally every time I think I’ve finally gotten past the hardest part, something comes along and makes it worse all over again. I hate all of this

[TinyDinos]

21 hours ago, Lennie said:

Hi @TinyDinos -- I will reply to your previous post in just a moment, but I wanted to check whether you are okay. Do you know what's causing your stomach to hurt? If you are in pain, could you make a doctor's appointment or go to the emergency room at the hospital if it's serious?

If you would prefer to talk privately, you can also respond on Confidential Support: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support 

No, I have no idea. Might be the stress tbh. Either way it’s a nightmare and it’s really painful. I’m wondering if it’s some sort of stomach bug or something but I haven’t thrown up or anything. My guess is that it’s a mix of the stress, lack of sleep, and failing to drink a lot of water recently. Hoping it gets better

[Aurora]

2 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

Yeah I talked to both of them. Both of them are insisting that I’m on the others’ side. Both of them hate me now. My life is a pile of shit.

Literally every time I think I’ve finally gotten past the hardest part, something comes along and makes it worse all over again. I hate all of this

 

2 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

No, I have no idea. Might be the stress tbh. Either way it’s a nightmare and it’s really painful. I’m wondering if it’s some sort of stomach bug or something but I haven’t thrown up or anything. My guess is that it’s a mix of the stress, lack of sleep, and failing to drink a lot of water recently. Hoping it gets better

Hi @TinyDinos, I'm just going to reply to both your messages in one go. Hope that's OK. 

It sounds like you are in a really tough situation there, with both your mom and your sister thinking that you are taking the other persons side, on top of feeling upset about everything that has gone on.  I get the impression that emotions are still running high and I'm wondering, whether it might be helpful to give your sister and your mom a bit of space right now. What do you think? Is there someone else you can talk to instead, who might understand you better?

Looking back at what things have been like in the past at home, what happens normally after a big fight? I know this is different, because your mom told your sister to live with your bio dad, but I am just wondering whether once everyone is feeling calmer, things might settle down again and your sister might move home again. What do you think? 

I'm sorry that it feels like you can't catch a breath and it is completely understandable that this has been really upsetting for you. Especially after everything else you have been through. It sounds like your stomach ache might be linked to all of this, like you said. Our body and our mind are connected and often, when we are feeling strong emotions, we will feel it physically, too. Nevertheless, if your stomach ache doesn't get better, it might be a good idea to have it checked out by your doctor. Just to make sure it's not something else. Would you agree? 

What you might find helpful right now, is to remind yourself just how resilient you are and how you have managed to get through everything else in the past. What do you think has helped you cope in the past?  

We're here for you