How do you finish what you start?

[Bubbletea]

Sometimes in the most random moments (classic 3 am thoughts), I get the strong urge to start something new like maybe a project of something or a new hobby. I want to gain new experiences. I don't really have a problem starting with things like this but once I start, I eventually don't have the motivation to continue due to me just becoming bored of it or seeing no progress being made. Then it always feels like I am wasting my time and think that I don't really gain anything from it so I end up just quitting entirely. Sometimes, I do come back to some of these but it never ended with me finishing it. This also impacts my future approach to new ideas, I get like an amazing idea for something but never even start it because I know I will never be able to make it come to fruition and it just ends up becoming another unsuccessful attempt at finishing something. What should I do?

[peanutbutterstruggles]

i'm not sure if this is helpful, but what helps me is being passionate about my projects? now, you can't really conjure up passion from nowhere and from what you said it seems the passion you have just burns out over time. but it's definitely easier if you consider first how much do you actually wanna do something - like, do i really want to DO this thing, or do i just like the idea? am i really passionate about this? for me, when i have a project idea i try to play around with the idea until it turns into something more motivating - when i have to learn anatomy drawing, i make the figures characters i like, when i'm running i listen to music, when i take up making friendships bracelets i also listen to something i like. i'm not sure if this is the kind of projects you mean, but i think it could work with other things as well. if you want to do something like swimming or sports, or something creative - maybe ask your friends to try it out with you? or sign up to a group class? 

other thing is, you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to finish everything you start. i think that might be the cause of the issue? you said you don't even wanna bother with new things because you know you're not gonna go through with them. it sounds a bit like you feel pressure to always finish things, and if you know you can't, it's not even worth starting. please tell me if my course of thinking is right here, i'm just guessing. maybe let yourself be more free with it. not everything you try out will turn out to be your thing. you don't have to finish everything you start. it's okay to have a 'phase' where you really like something and drop it later on. that's how we find things we actually are interested in - through experimenting! what do you think? i could be very much off from the way you feel

[Bubbletea]

On 12/22/2022 at 9:06 PM, peanutbutterstruggles said:

i'm not sure if this is helpful, but what helps me is being passionate about my projects? now, you can't really conjure up passion from nowhere and from what you said it seems the passion you have just burns out over time. but it's definitely easier if you consider first how much do you actually wanna do something - like, do i really want to DO this thing, or do i just like the idea? am i really passionate about this? for me, when i have a project idea i try to play around with the idea until it turns into something more motivating - when i have to learn anatomy drawing, i make the figures characters i like, when i'm running i listen to music, when i take up making friendships bracelets i also listen to something i like. i'm not sure if this is the kind of projects you mean, but i think it could work with other things as well. if you want to do something like swimming or sports, or something creative - maybe ask your friends to try it out with you? or sign up to a group class? 

other thing is, you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to finish everything you start. i think that might be the cause of the issue? you said you don't even wanna bother with new things because you know you're not gonna go through with them. it sounds a bit like you feel pressure to always finish things, and if you know you can't, it's not even worth starting. please tell me if my course of thinking is right here, i'm just guessing. maybe let yourself be more free with it. not everything you try out will turn out to be your thing. you don't have to finish everything you start. it's okay to have a 'phase' where you really like something and drop it later on. that's how we find things we actually are interested in - through experimenting! what do you think? i could be very much off from the way you feel

Nahh fam you looked right into my soul with that analysis

Most of the pressure that I have on myself to finish things is due to my parents, mostly my mother. She can be quite the judgemental person lol.

But I also put some pressure on me with this, I can be well ig weird. I can't really turn the idea into something more likeable for me as if I, going by example from you here, would maybe listen to music while running. My brain would then think "how about we just listen to music and stop running? It's much easier and more fun to do" and then I would automatically stop running and just chill with my music. I like the easy way out not the hard one even though I am very much aware that I need to work hard to achieve something. I am also a perfectionist so if I don't get it perfect the very first time, most of the time I ain't gonna try again. The only exception would be if doing this very much benefits me in a way such as being able to flex about it to my friends lmao.

A good example of that would be when I jogged for an hour at a school event while my friends only jogged 15-30 minutes, 15 minutes was the minimum that you absolutely had to achieve and an hour was the maximum, jogging for that hour  was a huge ego boost for me. I also was kinda driven by anger to be fair, I am childish and hate losing to anyone. There were plenty of other people who ran the entire hour so I would've absolutely hated just giving up halfway through. 

Thanks for the answer btw! It must've been pretty time consuming so I appreciate you taking your time out of your day just to write me a response :) 

Appreciate you!

 

[peanutbutterstruggles]

12 hours ago, Bubbletea said:

Nahh fam you looked right into my soul with that analysis

Most of the pressure that I have on myself to finish things is due to my parents, mostly my mother. She can be quite the judgemental person lol.

But I also put some pressure on me with this, I can be well ig weird. I can't really turn the idea into something more likeable for me as if I, going by example from you here, would maybe listen to music while running. My brain would then think "how about we just listen to music and stop running? It's much easier and more fun to do" and then I would automatically stop running and just chill with my music. I like the easy way out not the hard one even though I am very much aware that I need to work hard to achieve something. I am also a perfectionist so if I don't get it perfect the very first time, most of the time I ain't gonna try again. The only exception would be if doing this very much benefits me in a way such as being able to flex about it to my friends lmao.

A good example of that would be when I jogged for an hour at a school event while my friends only jogged 15-30 minutes, 15 minutes was the minimum that you absolutely had to achieve and an hour was the maximum, jogging for that hour  was a huge ego boost for me. I also was kinda driven by anger to be fair, I am childish and hate losing to anyone. There were plenty of other people who ran the entire hour so I would've absolutely hated just giving up halfway through. 

Thanks for the answer btw! It must've been pretty time consuming so I appreciate you taking your time out of your day just to write me a response :) 

Appreciate you!

i understand that bit about pressure from your mom. my mom is very judgemental too and over the years it caused me to just not share any of my interests with her in fear of them being seen as a phase. for some reason, her judgemnt made me feel as though having a phase or something is bad. do you also feel that way? 

if you know you're a competetive player, one solution would be to try to take the "i have to win" pressure off yourself a bit. i think that mindset can sometimes stop you from enjoying what you are doing. on the other hand, it could also be a positive thing! you could look into activities you ar interested in  that are also competetive, like sports or games. that way, you could use your competetiveness to your advantage.i think you should still make sure to enjoy what you do and let yourself lose or fail sometimes. losing is a normal part of life and it doesn't have to ruin your experience with something. 

[Bubbletea]

27 minutes ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

i understand that bit about pressure from your mom. my mom is very judgemental too and over the years it caused me to just not share any of my interests with her in fear of them being seen as a phase. for some reason, her judgemnt made me feel as though having a phase or something is bad. do you also feel that way? 

if you know you're a competetive player, one solution would be to try to take the "i have to win" pressure off yourself a bit. i think that mindset can sometimes stop you from enjoying what you are doing. on the other hand, it could also be a positive thing! you could look into activities you ar interested in  that are also competetive, like sports or games. that way, you could use your competetiveness to your advantage.i think you should still make sure to enjoy what you do and let yourself lose or fail sometimes. losing is a normal part of life and it doesn't have to ruin your experience with something. 

Well my mom does judge my actions a lot so I also don't share any new things I am planning to do with her. It doesn't really make me feel fear though. I just feel annoyed and most of the time we have arguments over it, in the end it's all resolved though most of the time. 

The "I have to win" mindset does influence me but it definitely isn't a strong factor in my decision making process. Like I have said previously, I like the easy way out. If I want to win, I usually need to work hard which I don't want to do, so as a solution, I just give up. Most people in the competitive parts have much more determination to win than me so it would just end up with me feeling completely defeated and depressed if I would participate in something competitive.