I want to become friends with a classmate of mine but idk how

[Bubbletea]

 

 

There is this one female classmate of mine I want to be friends with but I don't really know how since we don't talk much with each other, though whenever we did talk with each other it always ended pretty well. We seem to be similar personality wise and she has her birthday one day before me. I'm kind of an awkward person irl, so most of the time communicating with me ends in awkward silence. I try to socialize but I always end up failing which is why I don't have that many friends unless they make the first move and start a good conversation lol... Anyway, she has always been really nice and just a great person to be around which is why I want to get to know her better, I just really don't know how. She is quite popular at our school, the most popular girl in our class and also very smart, always getting straight A's and stuff and I'm kind of that kid that does fit in but is definitely more an outsider lmao, I do get good grades but no straight A's. I just think it would be awkward for me to approach her at school cause, it's not something that I usually do (she also always hangs around with all my other classmates and I'm chilling with my friends most of the time) and it's just going to be veryyyyy awkward, sure I know all my classmates but I barely talk to any of them and I also don't want it to seem like I only want to get to know her because she always gets good grades and is popular which is really not what I am going for here. Plus, my fellow pals at school going to be confused too. I honestly just want some more  friends that I can talk with while feeling comfortable enough to be myself around them ig. 

Idk if this is weird to ask but how do you ask to be someone's friend irl lmao, how should I approach this? Man, I want my kindergarten self back sheesh, this is so complicated.

Thanks for reading tho! I hope you'll have a very nice week! I appreciate any advice that comes my way lol. Thank you! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 28, 2022 by Bubbletea

[peanutbutterstruggles]

do you have any classes together? maybe you could approach her then? or maybe make a reference to her bday or something like that. i struggle making friends irl too, i know how hard it is i'd recommend next time you end up having a conversation with her, ask her for her insta or something like that

[Luie]

On 11/28/2022 at 9:36 PM, Bubbletea said:

There is this one female classmate of mine I want to be friends with but I don't really know how since we don't talk much with each other, though whenever we did talk with each other it always ended pretty well. We seem to be similar personality wise and she has her birthday one day before me. I'm kind of an awkward person irl, so most of the time communicating with me ends in awkward silence. I try to socialize but I always end up failing which is why I don't have that many friends unless they make the first move and start a good conversation lol... Anyway, she has always been really nice and just a great person to be around which is why I want to get to know her better, I just really don't know how. She is quite popular at our school, the most popular girl in our class and also very smart, always getting straight A's and stuff and I'm kind of that kid that does fit in but is definitely more an outsider lmao, I do get good grades but no straight A's. I just think it would be awkward for me to approach her at school cause, it's not something that I usually do (she also always hangs around with all my other classmates and I'm chilling with my friends most of the time) and it's just going to be veryyyyy awkward, sure I know all my classmates but I barely talk to any of them and I also don't want it to seem like I only want to get to know her because she always gets good grades and is popular which is really not what I am going for here. Plus, my fellow pals at school going to be confused too. I honestly just want some more  friends that I can talk with while feeling comfortable enough to be myself around them ig. 

Idk if this is weird to ask but how do you ask to be someone's friend irl lmao, how should I approach this? Man, I want my kindergarten self back sheesh, this is so complicated.

Thanks for reading tho! I hope you'll have a very nice week! I appreciate any advice that comes my way lol. Thank you! 

Heyy @Bubbletea, I am Luie, one of the digital mentors with Ditch the Label. Before I get into what you've asked advice on I just wanted to say super cool username, I enjoy bubble tea a lot, so definitely a catchy one for me 

Firstly, you, my lovely human being are not being awkward at all. I think making friends is a challenge especially since we got out of the pandemic and back to the usual in person settings approaching someone for a conversation does bring up feelings of anxiety which is completely normal, so please do try and be a bit more self compassionate on that, because I can already tell you're wanting to reach out and even expressing it here on the platform shows you are trying.

@peanutbutterstruggles did give a helpful suggestion about reaching out during a mutual class. If she is an 'A' grade student and that's something you feel comfortable enough asking her for some study tips perhaps to get the conversation going, or maybe once the class gets done you could just ask her if you could speak with her for a few mins and talk about something interesting you noticed about her. People do take compliments as a positive sign so you could do this in a subtle manner. Another way I was thinking was if there are clubs/societies at your school which she is in perhaps giving that a go to have something outside of classes to bond over and reach out to her. These are just a few suggestions, do you think this would be helpful?  

[Bubbletea]

On 11/30/2022 at 8:03 PM, peanutbutterstruggles said:

do you have any classes together? maybe you could approach her then? or maybe make a reference to her bday or something like that. i struggle making friends irl too, i know how hard it is i'd recommend next time you end up having a conversation with her, ask her for her insta or something like that

I low-key have every class with her, I actually have her phone number but idk if it would be awkward just texting her out of the blue. What kinda reference to her bday should I make though? 

[Bubbletea]

On 11/30/2022 at 9:03 PM, Luie said:

Heyy @Bubbletea, I am Luie, one of the digital mentors with Ditch the Label. Before I get into what you've asked advice on I just wanted to say super cool username, I enjoy bubble tea a lot, so definitely a catchy one for me 

Firstly, you, my lovely human being are not being awkward at all. I think making friends is a challenge especially since we got out of the pandemic and back to the usual in person settings approaching someone for a conversation does bring up feelings of anxiety which is completely normal, so please do try and be a bit more self compassionate on that, because I can already tell you're wanting to reach out and even expressing it here on the platform shows you are trying.

@peanutbutterstruggles did give a helpful suggestion about reaching out during a mutual class. If she is an 'A' grade student and that's something you feel comfortable enough asking her for some study tips perhaps to get the conversation going, or maybe once the class gets done you could just ask her if you could speak with her for a few mins and talk about something interesting you noticed about her. People do take compliments as a positive sign so you could do this in a subtle manner. Another way I was thinking was if there are clubs/societies at your school which she is in perhaps giving that a go to have something outside of classes to bond over and reach out to her. These are just a few suggestions, do you think this would be helpful?  

Hii, first things first, thanks for the compliment on my username, bubbletea is definitely one of my favourites as well! 

I definitely think that your advice was helpful! Unfortunately there aren't really any clubs at my school so I can't bond over something outside of class much. I do actually have her phone number though so maybe I could reach out to her through that but now I don't really know what to talk about then if I did reach out through that. Asking her for study tips doesn't make much sense for me because I genuinely don't require any help with school and in some subjects I perform even better than her sometimes. 

[Luie]

On 12/5/2022 at 4:06 PM, Bubbletea said:

Hii, first things first, thanks for the compliment on my username, bubbletea is definitely one of my favourites as well! 

I definitely think that your advice was helpful! Unfortunately there aren't really any clubs at my school so I can't bond over something outside of class much. I do actually have her phone number though so maybe I could reach out to her through that but now I don't really know what to talk about then if I did reach out through that. Asking her for study tips doesn't make much sense for me because I genuinely don't require any help with school and in some subjects I perform even better than her sometimes. 

Heyy @Bubbletea, 

How are you doing? 

Fair point about the study tips, you're right, it might sound odd if you asked her for something which you're already good at. This might be going out on a limb, but would you be up for just messaging her and maybe saying, 'Heyy, I was thinking of grabbing some coffee/bubble tea, would you like to come along and chill together?' It's simple, to the point and inviting to do an activity together, but not something tedious that won't allow the time to talk. Sounds doable? Btw, if you have any ideas throw them at me and we can figure it out. 

[Bubbletea]

On 12/7/2022 at 8:32 PM, Luie said:

Heyy @Bubbletea, 

How are you doing? 

Fair point about the study tips, you're right, it might sound odd if you asked her for something which you're already good at. This might be going out on a limb, but would you be up for just messaging her and maybe saying, 'Heyy, I was thinking of grabbing some coffee/bubble tea, would you like to come along and chill together?' It's simple, to the point and inviting to do an activity together, but not something tedious that won't allow the time to talk. Sounds doable? Btw, if you have any ideas throw them at me and we can figure it out. 

Heya,

Doing great! What about you? 

I honestly think I definitely would be up for the idea of just texting her exactly what you said, because I have absolutely no idea what else I should write haha. Thanks!