Anyone have any idea how to pin down a sexuality?

[Zanthite]

I am in a slight anxiety induced fear coma thing right now because I haven't been able to figure out my sexuality. I have a boyfriend who I have no clue how he'd react but I feel like i need to learn this about myself. I have a general aspect of what it may be but I haven't been able to pin it down no matter how hard I think on it. And I am not going to be unfaithful to my bf and try things out with new people because the guilt would eat me alive.

[Monsoon]

On 8/27/2022 at 5:29 AM, Zanthite said:

I am in a slight anxiety induced fear coma thing right now because I haven't been able to figure out my sexuality. I have a boyfriend who I have no clue how he'd react but I feel like i need to learn this about myself. I have a general aspect of what it may be but I haven't been able to pin it down no matter how hard I think on it. And I am not going to be unfaithful to my bf and try things out with new people because the guilt would eat me alive.

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I know you're experiencing anxiety about this right now, and that's perfectly normal and understandable. Just remember that it won't always be like this, and it will get better. You just need time and new experiences to help. I completely get what you're saying about needing to learn this; we all have a need to know who we are. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about what you know so far about your orientation?

[Zanthite]

I know that I am romantically attracted to all genders, but I don't see someone for their gender but I still subconsciously when thinking of someone romantically, and have preferences. And I don't think I'd fall under the bisexual term because I feel attraction to more than just my own and the opposite gender.

[Zanthite]

12 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I know you're experiencing anxiety about this right now, and that's perfectly normal and understandable. Just remember that it won't always be like this, and it will get better. You just need time and new experiences to help. I completely get what you're saying about needing to learn this; we all have a need to know who we are. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about what you know so far about your orientation

I know that I am romantically attracted to all genders, but I don't see someone for their gender but I still subconsciously when thinking of someone romantically, and have preferences. And I don't think I'd fall under the bisexual term because I feel attraction to more than just my own and the opposite gender.

Thank you for trying to help me with this by the way I am so grateful.

[Monsoon]

6 hours ago, Zanthite said:

I know that I am romantically attracted to all genders, but I don't see someone for their gender but I still subconsciously when thinking of someone romantically, and have preferences. And I don't think I'd fall under the bisexual term because I feel attraction to more than just my own and the opposite gender.

Thank you for trying to help me with this by the way I am so grateful.

Hey there,

It sounds like you have a good understanding of your sexuality from what you've said. What do you think your sexuality might mean for your relationship going forward? How might it change things? 

[Zanthite]

6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you have a good understanding of your sexuality from what you've said. What do you think your sexuality might mean for your relationship going forward? How might it change things? 

Well my boyfriend  kind of gets jealous very easily for small things. And I feel like if I actually confirmed my sexuality to him then anytime I spent with anyone he would get jealous and it would start a lot of arguments. I don't know if I want to deal with that but I still feel like he should know. It feels wrong hiding this from him. And I'm still not sure if Im Omni or pan so I don't want to tell him anything that I'm not 100% sure of so I don't confuse him or make him feel like I was just lying.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

In that case then, could it be a good idea to be sure of your sexuality before you come out to him? That way, it might prevent awkwardness further down the line. I do agree with you though, it would be good for him to know this about you as it's an important part of who you are.