rant I’m done holding my tongue

[hawk]

I'm genuinely upset with whats happening in my life.Im being manipulated by my two faced stepmother who's on a mood swing 24/7.Shes a nurse and works the night shift so I rarely see her,but when I do she always tries to start something.I consider myself a very mild mannered person who doesn't get angry easily,but she definitely has tested me.She gossips about my mom right in front of me like I'm not there,She once spoke to my mother on a topic then when she wasn't satisfied with the answer she asked us about the same topic when it already had been dealt with but she seems to insist on starting trouble,she's shamed me and my sister from wanting to escape from an abusive environment and constantly is starting different things with everyone.

 

My father is starting to be an extremely religious person.He seems to be dedicated so I'm completely fine with him doing what he desires,but he talks a lot about things I disagree with but can't speak out about.Im closeted so everytime he brings up how two guys shouldn't be together I bite my tongue.It seems like us wanting to move made him a slightly calmer person,which in a way is good but it makes his demeanor more intimidating.My father used to be abusive,plain and blunt.For my younger life it was physical and eventually it turned mental.While religion is his refuge for him it could be my demise to ever opening up freely ever again to my father.

[Monsoon]

Hey Hawk,

 

Thanks for coming to Community with this - we are here to help you, and you are not alone

 

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, how are you feeling about all of this?

 

Do you think your step-mother could be going through some issues? It sounds like there could be something going on that she's not dealing with very well. Maybe you could try to speak to her about this? I think it's always best to talk about your emotions, otherwise they will build up and that's when things can get UGLY!

 

If you are going to speak to her, I would suggest doing it in a neutral environment (such as a cafe) and make sure you remain calm throughout, but this should be easy with you being mild-mannered

 

In regard to your dad, although religion is his refuge, it sounds like it is narrowing his views. Have you expressed your concerns to him about this? I am also sorry to hear about your abusive upbringing. Is he still abusive now if you don't mind me asking?

 

I hope this advice is helpful and I look forward to hearing back from you.

 

Sending positive vibes -Monsoon