Extremely confused about my sexuality…I need some advice.

[-Penny]

In the past I have questioned my sexuality, and came to the conclusion that I was just straight and just overthinking. Recently, I think I have developed a crush on one of my best friends, who is the same sex as me. One of my other friends, and the only one I have told about it, said I could be Asexual, or Demiromantic, as I have never had a crush before. I have taken lots of quizzes on it, and they have all said things like 30% Demi, 50% Demi, Aegoromantic, and Cupioromantic. No results came out as straight, but the tests aren’t always right so that makes me super confused.

The person I think I have a crush on is Bi, but has a big crush on a boy. It makes me feel quite sad when she talks about him, and that just adds to the confusion.

I really think the feelings are genuine, but I’m still unsure as to whether my brain is just making it up. Sorry if it’s really confusing to read- it’s the only way I could think of putting the feelings into words. Any advice would be appreciated ㋛ 

[Cat!!!]

Well it most likely means you are not straight but it matters on what you think but you are still young so it might take a little more time to find out what your sexuality is which is okay if you think you like your friend then that should help a little,try a few things that you think can help you uncover your sexuality if ya need examples you can ask me but like I said it might take a while to find out what it is so don't worry.I'm not sure if this was of any help but maybe it will be of some use.

[Wh0ismiranda]

im questiong myself i thought i was bi 3 years ago but now idk i havent like had sex with the same or different sex but it wouldnt matter to me what they were . i just dont know wht to do

[Obamaland]

A very similar situation that I'm going through aswell, the advice I can give is write down straight things you've done and or bi or gay things you've done. It's helpful.

[-Penny]

7 hours ago, Cat!!! said:

Well it most likely means you are not straight but it matters on what you think but you are still young so it might take a little more time to find out what your sexuality is which is okay if you think you like your friend then that should help a little,try a few things that you think can help you uncover your sexuality if ya need examples you can ask me but like I said it might take a while to find out what it is so don't worry.I'm not sure if this was of any help but maybe it will be of some use.

Thanks for replying so quickly, it helps a lot- do you recommend anything in particular I could do to help uncover my sexuality? 

[Blondie]

10 hours ago, Piper said:

In the past I have questioned my sexuality, and came to the conclusion that I was just straight and just overthinking. Recently, I think I have developed a crush on one of my best friends, who is the same sex as me. One of my other friends, and the only one I have told about it, said I could be Asexual, or Demiromantic, as I have never had a crush before. I have taken lots of quizzes on it, and they have all said things like 30% Demi, 50% Demi, Aegoromantic, and Cupioromantic. No results came out as straight, but the tests aren’t always right so that makes me super confused.

The person I think I have a crush on is Bi, but has a big crush on a boy. It makes me feel quite sad when she talks about him, and that just adds to the confusion.

I really think the feelings are genuine, but I’m still unsure as to whether my brain is just making it up. Sorry if it’s really confusing to read- it’s the only way I could think of putting the feelings into words. Any advice would be appreciated ㋛ 

Hi there! I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors.

What you are feeling is real and valid - some people find that their attractions can be pretty fluid and they never fall into one neat area within LGBTQIA+ - and that's completely okay!

It can be really freeing being open to attractions / relationships with different people depending on what you like about them as a person.

[-Penny]

10 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hi there! I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors.

What you are feeling is real and valid - some people find that their attractions can be pretty fluid and they never fall into one neat area within LGBTQIA+ - and that's completely okay!

It can be really freeing being open to attractions / relationships with different people depending on what you like about them as a person.

Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better! I don’t know if I want to tell my parents yet…they would probably be fine with it but I’m not sure how I would even start a conversation like that. It took me months to open up to my friend about it, and I find conversations tricky in general.

Edited June 1, 2022 by Piper

[Blondie]

3 hours ago, Piper said:

Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better! I don’t know if I want to tell my parents yet…they would probably be fine with it but I’m not sure how I would even start a conversation like that. It took me months to open up to my friend about it, and I find conversations tricky in general.

There’s no rush at all - this is your journey and you only need share when it feels right for you. Sometimes we just need a little space to sit and process and you deserve that.

When the time comes to share we’re here if you need us! 

[aroacebananas]

Don't worry, I'm struggling with the same(ish) thing right now. I'm 99.99% sure I'm straight or alloromantic, but have been overthinking it A LOT. Mostly abt aroflux things. It sounds to me that you might not be 100% straight. My very wise lesbian friend said that "it's okay to be unlabeled." You can love/crush on whoever you want without all the labels that come with it. Hope this helps!

[-Penny]

18 hours ago, scaredaroflux said:

Don't worry, I'm struggling with the same(ish) thing right now. I'm 99.99% sure I'm straight or alloromantic, but have been overthinking it A LOT. Mostly abt aroflux things. It sounds to me that you might not be 100% straight. My very wise lesbian friend said that "it's okay to be unlabeled." You can love/crush on whoever you want without all the labels that come with it. Hope this helps!

Thanks, this helps a lot! Knowing that people have gone through / are going through the same thing makes me feel a lot more reassured :)

[vega]

I have been through this too, It took a while but I eventually found my "true colors" and all was fine. As for the friend thing, once again, same boat. When you figure it out PLEASE let me know.