confused My friends think I'm not straight

[elsiejoy]

Ever since I met my current friend group in September they have dropped hints that they thought I was bisexual, or queer in general. I always vehemently denied their assertions and it frankly made me angry that they felt they knew me better than I know myself. Then, on Saturday night I got drunk with this friend group and I started flirting with girls at a club which was unusual for me. Normally I would be more interested in flirting with guys but I had just gotten out of a situationship with a guy and I really didn't want to talk to any more men. It felt right to flirt with girls, mind you I was drunk, but at the same time I was embarrassed that I wanted to do it at all. The other thing is that since arriving at university I haven't enjoyed any sexual experiences I've had with men. I thought it was normal to dislike things like kissing until I opened up to my friends and they told me they like kissing even with boys they don't find to be extremely attractive. That definitely got me thinking about my sexuality and whether its more complicated than I initially anticipated. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I definitely want to take a break from talking to men but I also don't know how to figure everything else out. My friends are super supportive but I'm just not there yet, I still feel so overwhelmed. 

Edited March 14, 2022 by elsiejoy

[Monsoon]

Hey @elsiejoy

Welcome to our community. I'm Monsoon, one of the digital mentors here, and I give advice and support to our community members.

It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed by all of this; we all have a need to know who we are, and when we go through a period of exploring our identity, although it can be fun, it can also be pretty rocky because being secure in our identity makes us feel emotionally safe. 

I'm thinking, if you had a friend in the same situation as you, what advice would you give them for figuring this out?