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I think i have a crush on my best friendand it feels wrong


Consolata Β  Β 

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So i recently turned 16 on the 31st of January and pretty much i am still the same. So i have a girl best friend. I came out to her last year, I was nervous, but she accepted me. So today when she said "I will make a great couple with one of my friends".Β  I felt jealous, like free real jealous. I wrote my math test with those words replaying in my mind. I am bi and i tend to cry if i dont really know what i wanna do. Telling her will freak her out for sure, but it hurts to keep those feelings to me. Please Help

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Hey @Consolata

Happy Belated Birthday! :)

I wonder, how do you think she feels aboutΒ you? If she does like you too,Β I wonder, how would it feel to start dating her?

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I never really discussed that topic with her, but she enjoys flirting with me. The thing is from where I come from being part of the LGBTQ+ is totally unacceptable. A lot of people are homophobic and if I ever have to date her it will be very complicated and risky.

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Well, if they read Article 7 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights Act which applies to all countries it clearly states 'All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination' so they are wrong to be homophobic and they are wrong to say that being part of the LGBTQ+ community is unnacceptable.

Β 

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16 minutes ago, Taken Elated Homoromantic said:

Well, if they read Article 7 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights Act which applies to all countries it clearly states 'All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination' so they are wrong to be homophobic and they are wrong to say that being part of the LGBTQ+ community is unnacceptable.

The thing is, not everyone everyone is going to follow that. People are unacceptable even when there is a good reason they shouldn't be.Β 

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25 minutes ago, Consolata said:

I never really discussed that topic with her, but she enjoys flirting with me. The thing is from where I come from being part of the LGBTQ+ is totally unacceptable. A lot of people are homophobic and if I ever have to date her it will be very complicated and risky.

If youΒ wereΒ to date, you could always go somewhere where there isn't going to be any people like a large park or foresty area, or you could do normal date stuff like going to a movie, but say that you're just going as 'friends' and act like it.

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1 minute ago, Wingedwolf12 said:

If youΒ wereΒ to date, you could always go somewhere where there isn't going to be any people like a large park or foresty area, or you could do normal date stuff like going to a movie, but say that you're just going as 'friends' and act like it.

Or, you could move to a country that isn't homophobic such as the UK.

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4 hours ago, Consolata said:

I never really discussed that topic with her, but she enjoys flirting with me. The thing is from where I come from being part of the LGBTQ+ is totally unacceptable. A lot of people are homophobic and if I ever have to date her it will be very complicated and risky.

Hey there,

It's interesting that you said if you ever have to date her, and I'm wondering can you tell me more? From the way you wrote it, it sounds like you wouldn't be into it, but that it could still happen. Speak soon.Β 

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When I meant by 'risky' I meant how people can react to the situation. Almost every soul here is homophobic, but only a few are supportive. Same sex dating can get you expelled and no school would like to take a 'creep'. Thing is I dated a boy for six months before I realised I was also into girls. His reaction was well neutral, but I could feel the disappointment in his voice when he said "I was dating a lesbian." My best friend is the most heterosexual person I know and if I ever tell her she thinks I am a joke to her.

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1 hour ago, Consolata said:

When I meant by 'risky' I meant how people can react to the situation. Almost every soul here is homophobic, but only a few are supportive. Same sex dating can get you expelled and no school would like to take a 'creep'. Thing is I dated a boy for six months before I realised I was also into girls. His reaction was well neutral, but I could feel the disappointment in his voice when he said "I was dating a lesbian." My best friend is the most heterosexual person I know and if I ever tell her she thinks I am a joke to her.

Hey there,

Yeah, I had an idea that you might have been referring to homophobia when you said about how it could be risky, and I'm wondering, can you tell me more about when you said 'If I ever have to date her'? What did you mean by that? Also, I'm thinking, when she said 'I would make a great couple with one of my friends', could she have meant you?Β 

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Well she did refer to a fellow friend, who I think she secretly hates me. This 'friend' rarely greets me sometimes. I just shake it away. At some point I think my best friend and her fellow friend's relationship is kinda toxic. I tend to overthinking and I don't really know how it works between them. A voice in my head always tells me to tell her the truth about how I feel, but I am afraid she won't like that idea.

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On 2/8/2022 at 5:10 PM, Consolata said:

Well she did refer to a fellow friend, who I think she secretly hates me. This 'friend' rarely greets me sometimes. I just shake it away. At some point I think my best friend and her fellow friend's relationship is kinda toxic. I tend to overthinking and I don't really know how it works between them. A voice in my head always tells me to tell her the truth about how I feel, but I am afraid she won't like that idea.

Ah, okay, thanks for explaining. I'm wondering, what makes you feel the relationship between them is toxic? With your best friend, what's her sexuality?

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My best friend is hetero and the reason why I think it's toxic is that her other friend can be a control freak (major one). Sometime last year my best friend had to walk with me from school (like a good 1km) and she would complain about how icy her friend is. Sometimes she would break down and I just had to be there. As a loyal friend since fourth grade, I always try to cheer her up. Sometimes I wish she could just stop associating with toxic people because most of my friend's friends are hella toxic when they want to be.

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